When I entered the study with Kaelon, the commanders and Keyan were already waiting for us. They sat in the middle table, keeping their eyes on me as I walked towards them.
I sat down in between Kaelon and Zoron, feeling a little nervous about my presence. I hadn't thought this through. Maybe this was a bad idea and I should've listened to Kaelon.
My eyes flickered between the men, wondering if any one of them was brave enough to say anything about what happened or if they were just going to pretend like it didn't happen and move on.
I felt Keyan's eyes on me, making me turn to him. I could feel the bond between us, formed during my ordeal. It wasn't sexual or anything like that, it was more like we went through something together and this was the result.
He smiled at me, slightly shaking his head. "You being here with us is not surprising. Like I said before Edrei, you're the strongest person I know."
Kaelon snapped to him, eyes shooting daggers. "You called her weak?"
"She has proven otherwise," Keyan replied. "How are you feeling?" he asked, stretching his hand across the table and taking mine into his.
I leaned forward, grasping his hand and squeezing it. "Ready to move on," I replied masking the uncertainty.
Kaelon looked between us, disliking our newly formed bond, but he didn't say anything. He was grateful for Keyan's presence as much as I was. Without Keyan, I would've been alone.
Yes, Mae probably would've volunteered someone else, but it wouldn't have helped anymore than me being myself. Keyan was perfect for the role since he smelled almost exactly like Kaelon.
"We need to start," Kaelon interrupted. He pushed me back upright against my chair, forcing my hand to slip out of Keyan's grasp, replacing them with his own. He held on to me tightly causing Keyan to roll his eyes at his brother before moving his hand back to his side.
"We know Dorian's plans, or at least what he had planned to do before we captured one of his scouts," Zoron started, leading the discussion.
Edrik sighed. "He has planned to lure most of Orion's army to Arctos, and when we were gone, he planned to attack the innocent and defenceless women, children, and elderly. Once we retreated from Arctos, that was when he would move on."
Keyan pressed his lips in a line. "He's planting doubt within us. Seems convenient that his scouts were easily captured and just so happened to tell you this. It could be a poly to end our treaty in favour of self-preservation."
"I don't see anything convenient about a search that spanned over 10 kilometres. If you're thinking Dorian has planned for one of his scouts to be captured, you are wrong. Dorian is not that smart," Kaelon replied, narrowing his eyes in discontent.
"Trust us Alpha Keyan, the scout didn't give this information out easily. We spent hours on him before he told us anything of use," Zoron added, backing up his Alpha.
Keyan still wasn't convinced it wasn't apart of Dorian's plan. "The threats he made towards Arctos are real. I have my pack on lockdown because Dorian has set and hidden traps all over my territory lines. My people have been woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of his scouts howling close by, yet for some reason, we have never caught one of them, so please excuse me when I think the one you caught was planned."
"Perhaps it's because my commanders have better-trained warriors," Kaelon hit back causing Keyan to growl.
"We have a treaty. You need to send some of your warriors back with me to help keep Arctos safe," Keyan demanded.
Kaelon shook his head. "No. I won't be playing into Dorian's plan."
The table vibrated when Keyan's fist slammed against it. He got up, leaning into Kaelon's personal space. "You need to uphold your treaty."
Kaelon stood, matching his brother's stance. "You heard what I said. I won't risk the lives of my people when we know what Dorian had planned for."
I got up, squeezing my arms between the brothers, trying to separate them. "Stop it, both of you," I growled. "Whatever Dorian has planned, he certainly doesn't need to do much because the two of you are already doing it for him. Now both of you sit down."
Both Alphas snapped to me, eyes staring at me in challenge. If they think I was going to back down, they were wrong. I used the anger pent up inside me as fuel as I took on both of them, eyes flickering from Kaelon's to Keyan's.
Keyan was the first to back down. He shrugged unbothered by his submission before sitting down. I turned directly to Kaelon, taking him on.
We stared at each other for what seemed like hours before he snapped his head to Keyan. Although he didn't submit, he was the first to break eye contact. A win if you ask me.
"What have you been teaching her?" He asked, impressed yet also slightly dissatisfied that I didn't learn it from him.
"Nothing you wouldn't have taught her eventually," Keyan replied, winking at me as his eyes swirled in amusement. Kaelon shook his head as he sat back down.
And just like that, they were civilised again.
The rest of the morning was spent keeping Kaelon and Keyan from murdering each other as we discussed our plan. It was amazing how quickly they were able to control their temper, yet lose it again no more than five minutes later. It was like watching a wheel go round and round.
By the time we finished, I was dizzy. We hadn't gotten anywhere close to formulating a reasonable plan and it was getting harder and harder to calm both Alphas down.
We all needed to take a break.
Pushing myself from the table, I walked out of the study and into the common room, stretching my legs. I felt Kaelon come up behind me before he grabbed my hand and spun me around.
"You should lay down Edrei, you don't look too good," he said.
"That's because the two of you have given me a headache," I told him, scowling.
"All the more reason why you should lay down, even if it's for 5 minutes."
Taking my hand into his, he led me up the stairs, towards our bedroom. He grasped open the door handle, pushing it open before pulling me inside, letting me lead the way.
The room had been cleaned. The scent of citrus and lime sat in the air, mixing with the scent of the two wolves who were tasked with the job. I pressed my lips in a line, noting a reminder to thank them when I get the chance.
I walked in, stilling when my eyes landed on the parcel Keyan had given me when he first arrived- when I was still pregnant.
It laid in the middle of the bed, the brown paper lightly flapping as a slight breeze flowed into the room from the open window.
Kaelon stepped around me, pulling the parcel towards the edge of the bed and unwrapping it. His head flung towards me when he realised it's contents. I pushed down the urge to cry, blinking away the tears that formed.
I won't cry.
He stepped towards me, grabbing my hand and pulling me into him. I swore when I felt my tears wetting his shirt. He wrapped his arms tighter around me, swaying me back and forth.
"I'll take them out of here," he whispered.
"Don't," I replied, pulling myself from his embrace and quickly wiping away the tears with my hands. "I'll do it."
Taking in a deep breath, I grabbed the parcel, fingers accidentally grazing the soft fabrics. I walked out of the bedroom, feet taking me across the hall and into my old one. I kneeled in front of my chest of drawers and opened the bottom one.
The Fucus uniform I had brought with me when I first arrived laid inside, neatly folded. I put the parcel next to it, softly caressing the baby clothes. I could smell Kaelon's baby scent- milky and mild. Stopping myself from picking up the little blue coat, I quickly slammed the drawer shut.
Letting out a shaky breath, I stood up and left the room.
Kaelon was waiting outside. He pulled me closer to him, kissing the top of my forehead. "I'm guessing you don't want to lay down anymore." I shook my head which caused him to sigh. "Alright, then I want you to eat something before we have another meeting."
"I'm not hungry."
"When was the last time you ate?" He asked, unimpressed.
I didn't reply, knowing that the last meal I had was when Mae was in my room last night. Grabbing my hand, Kaelon led us downstairs and into the kitchen.
I sat on the kitchen stool watching as he lit the woodstove. Balancing my chin in my palm, I sighed, thinking about the last time Kaelon had done this for me.
Shaking those memories from my head, I slid off the stool and grabbed a large pie of jerky from a bowl on the counter.
"You don't need to cook for me," I told him, waving the jerky around. "I'll just have a bit of this."
"No you won't because that is not real food," he stated, grabbing a pan and putting it on the stove. "Now, what do you want?"
"I'll just have jerky."
"What do you want?"
"I've already told you- jerky."
"If you're not going to give me a serious answer, I'll just make you whatever comes to mind," he stated.
I let out a huff. "I'm not going to eat it then."
Kaelon growled before spinning around. He stormed up to me, closing the short distance between us with speed, before he snatched the jerky out of my hands, throwing it in the bin.
"I will not let you waste away. You need to eat real food. I don't care if I have to shove it down your throat but you will eat something," he growled, eyes turning deep purple.
My eyes went wide in anger. Crossing my arms, I turned around, storming away from him. I left the kitchen, letting my feet take control.
I found myself being surrounded by trees next, having entered the forest behind the pack house. The urge to run away from everything washed over me as my wolf urged me to let her take control and shift.
With the sound of my bones breaking, I transformed into my animalistic slide, giving her full control and leaving us at the mercy of our instincts.
I watched from the sidelines as we ran through the forest, going further and further away from the pack house. I needed to release the pent up anger and sadness inside me. Alone.
When I arrived at a seemingly isolated spot, I regained control, pushing my animalistic side down and transforming back to my human skin. There was nothing around me for kilometres, nothing but tall trees and foliage.
I looked up at the canopy that completely covering the sky before screaming at the top of my lungs and letting go of all the pain I felt over the past three days.
I screamed until I ran out of breath, then again because you can never really let everything go.
Eventually, my throat became raw and my voice became hoarse, but I didn't stop. The pain was what I needed to stop myself from feeling so numb.
Tears trickled down my face as the emptiness inside me grew. I hunched over, wrapping my arms around myself before deciding I've had enough of feeling so helpless and weak.
Forcing myself to stop crying, I pushed my pain into a box, locked it and threw away the key. Mae was right, I needed to move on with my life. I will not cry about this anymore.
Drying my face and wiping my nose, I pushed myself up.
I will not cry about this anymore.
I snuck back into the pack house, quickly running up the stairs and putting on clothes. I washed the dirt off my face and hands, scrubbing it clean.
I then walked downstairs, straight to the study. Upon entering, I saw Zoron with a female. Just the two of them. She sat on his desk with him in between her legs. They looked cosy until I barged in accidentally.
Zoron turned around with a slight blush on his cheeks. He stepped away from her as if he had been caught doing something inappropriate. Perhaps he was.
"Where is everyone?" I asked, ignoring the female with him in order to save his face from getting redder.
"Umm, no more meetings today. You disappeared and Kaelon's gone to work on the house. Keyan's gone off on a run with his warriors and Edrik has started his training."
I pressed my lips in a line before nodding. Pulling the door closed, I was stopped when Zoron called out my name. I pushed the door open again, raising my brows at him.
"I wish you two would have met in better circumstances but this is Alina. My mate."
My eyes flickered to the blonde female before they widened. I stepped into the study, walking towards her.
"Hi," I welcomed, "I'm Edrei." I put my hand out for her to shake.
"Alina," she replied, grasping my hand. I smiled at her, eyes taking in her presence. She was older than me but younger than Zoron. Her skin was tanned, her eyes were dark brown and her nose was straight. She had a blemish on her left side of her chin, complimenting her face. "I wish we met when things weren't so crazy," she added. "I'm sorry about what's happened."
I forced my lips into a smile. "Thank you."
Stepping away from her, I excused myself, leaving them to do whatever they were doing before I barged in.
Since there were no more meetings, I went downstairs to do the one thing I hadn't done in two months- train.
The dojo felt foreign to me as I entered. My stomach started to fill up with nerves as I took in everything.
Walking to the knife rack, I grabbed my favourite pair of daggers. They felt heavier than I remembered and awkward in my hands.
Playing with them, I got re-accustomed to their weight and their feel. Balancing them between my fingers, I threw them at the nearest dummy target. My accuracy is off too.
Walking to fetch the blades, I tried again and again until my accuracy was back to how it was. By the time that moment came around, my wrists were starting to get sore. Something that happened when I slacked off on my training.
"You know you're a little scary when you're focused," I heard Keyan say.
I turned to him, playing with the blades. "Want to help?"
Keyan shrugged before nodding. I motioned him to move to the left, positioning him in front of the dummy on the other side of the room.
"I'm working on my accuracy. It's the fastest way to get re-accustomed to the blades you're using. Now Keyan, stand really still," I ordered and before he could protest, I threw one dagger next to his throat and the other next to his inner thigh.
Keyan looked like he'd shat himself as I walked up to him. He had squeezed his legs closed, trapping the dagger I threw at his thigh.
"You can breathe now," I told him with a smile on my face. Keyan looked back at me with a scowl. "I'm sorry," I apologised. "That was mean."
"Damn right it was," he replied, pulling the dagger out from between his legs before squeezing them together again in uneasiness. "You could've cut my balls off!"
I chuckled. "The blade was nowhere near it. Come on, you can help me train."
Keyan handed me my dagger before I walked to the middle of the mat. I turned around, seeing him take the other set of daggers out of the track before joining me.
We both stood in an attack position, mirroring each other. My eyes flickered around him, trying to spot his weaknesses before I attacked.
I jumped towards him, using all my weight to build up momentum when I stuck downwards. Keyan easily blocked my attack before he pushed me back. I struck at him again, aiming primarily low, using our height difference to my advantage.
I heard him growl, needing to bend down and jump back to block my attacks.
"Did you think this was going to be easy?" I huffed out between strikes. Keyan was doing a good job taking all the blows, but it was easy enough to tell this wasn't his primary weapon of choice. For that reason, I went easy on him... kinda.
"Yes and no," he replied, doing his best to keep up with my relentless strikes before he went off-beat. My blade narrowly missed his hands as he pushed me backwards, causing me to land on my ass. I glared at him from the floor, realising he had every opportunity to do that before.
"You had your fun," he said, amused. "It was my turn."
I huffed when I pushed myself up and dusted off my bruised ego. Standing back in attack formation, we went in for another round, this time, I kept my strikes levelled, preventing him from pushing me back.
We trained together for god knows how long. By the time we finished, Keyan had taken off his shirt and sweat was dripping down both our bodies. The moon was starting to rise when we walked into the common room before going separate ways.
I went upstairs, quickly bathing and changing into my pyjamas. I was surprised that Kaelon wasn't in our room, or that he didn't eventually show up to drag me away from his brother. Perhaps our fight today affected him more than I thought.
Looking out the window, I wondered if I should go out and find him. Shaking my head, I reasoned that he would come to me in his own time. I know I needed to apologise to him for the way I acted.
I got into bed, blocking the memories of what happened the last time I slept here. Closing my eyes, I forced myself to relax and opened myself to sleep.
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Pearie xx