A/N: Hey :D So, EXCITING NEWS. I have a tumblr. SO.....EXTERNAL LINK. Follow me and ask any questions, you can even talk to me about the story. C: PLEASE!?!?!!? I noticed how you were all crying for the past few chapters :c And also you were all saying to not kill Brooke, well, I can't tell you anything about that. No guarantees she will live, but no guarantees she will die. :) Happy? xD Yeah. but I love you my lovelies! DONT FORGET TO FOLLOW MY TUMBLR. AND MAYBE TWITTER? Personal message me for it c:
Kellin's P.O.V
It was so strange, that girl crying over me and trying to say we were in love. Wasn't I married to Katelyn? Each day I was questioning every single thing more and more. And the worst part was sleeping, I had memories. Just like now.........As I fell asleep I felt another memory burn through..............
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I remembered everything. From getting my big break, to meeting her. From her running away, to getting the phone call that left me here. It's funny how phone calls can change your life completely. I mean, not even a full 12 hours ago was I woken up to be told the girl I once loved was dying. Now, here I am again. But this time, the news isn't easy. It isn't someone saying she got better, that she has improved. They called me to inform me of something I never planned on happening.
Brooklyn Mackenzie's death.
My Brooke.............the one that was too fragile to hold the last time I saw her. Brooke ran off, leaving me to chase her. In our relationship, she kept up with me. Never had I changed the flow, but now? It was flipped. These turning tables spun too fast to catch. How did I let her slip through my fingers? At the moment, Katelynn took Copeland and I was here, broken on the floor. Brooke and I put each other through so much pain and misery................but that's love. It was always sickening, twisted. Nothing more, nothing less. My tear-stained face burned when it came in contact with the cool air of the outside world. I had just taken a hot, long shower. It was a way I tried to wash Brooke away, which failed miserably. She wasn't some girl who got to know, got to kiss, got to hold, then let go of easily. No, Brooke was never one of those girls. No matter what life punched her with, she deserved a happy ending. Maybe her death brought that............Maybe, just maybe, that was her happy ending. No more pain, no more trouble. All of this ran through my head as I changed into a black v-neck and loose fitting jeans. They hung smugly on my hips, but didn't show off my boxers. Perfect. I decided music was needed, and plugged my iPod into the iDeck.
Fix You covered by Secondhand Serenade ft. Juliet Simms.
Perfect, my feelings.
When you lose something you cannot replace......
Tears stream down your face.....
You couldn't replace Brooklynn, and tears had once stained my face. After a moment, more songs went by but only one caught me. Automatic Loveletter.
Make-up Smeared Eyes.
Brooke had those for me once....Brooke. Everything had to go back to her! Why? Because the thought of no life pulsing through that once hyper, carefree girl is unbearable. Murdering me in the making, that's why. After a while, I stopped the mental break downs, the tears that briefly escaped, and the music. I never thought one day, music wouldn't help. This was the first time..........I believed it always would, it had for Brooke. But maybe it didn't, maybe it helped cover the pain. Sometimes it could have refreshed the hurt, like it did to me just now. I was no longer emotionally stable and broke down. The walls fell, leaving disaster.
"No.....no..........NO!!" I started out speaking softly and ended in a shriek of agony. My wet face felt the rush of air brush it, freezing it to a red tinge.
"Please............Brooke, walk through the door! Show me this is some sick fucking joke!" It took all the strength in my lungs, but my statement, my plead, echoed through the empty house. But the sobs wouldn't bring someone to life. The yells, the begging did nothing. This just gave me more anger and sadness. They were washing and fading and twisting together. Breathing became such a pain, I wanted to stop the action altogether. Like Brooke had. I want to join Brooke. Stumbling my way into the bathroom, I double checked to make sure what I thought and felt were real. Were they? I had fans, I had Katelynn, I had Copeland.
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I woke up with a gasp. That girl, who had been crying. She was in my dream. And it felt ridiculous, but now, as I was wide awake, I felt as if something was ripped from me. Sighing, I leaned back. This time, I forced sleep upon myself. Maybe the dreams would bring back my memory.
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"Dancing!" I chuckled loudly. The adrenaline pumped faster and faster as I heard it. All About Us, He is We. The song I'd propose to Brooke to. I gingerly placed my hand with hers, and we attempted to dance lamely. But we both laughed. I don't know why, but her laugh was like a melody I couldn't get sick of. And I wanted to hear that everyday. Soon enough we were the only one's twirling and fumbling to the lover's beat. Nervousness had disappeared when she began to sing along ever so softly. And I did too. We let the words roll off our tongues so naturally, so freely. Right before the bridge. Her perfect dress flew out as she giggled in a circle. When she fell into my arms again, we only felt our mixed emotions of happiness, love I was startled when she stopped dancing at the bridge, right before it ended. My heart raced as I watched her. I smirked at her hesitation and ducked down the remainder of space, letting our lips hug and flow over each other. Fireworks surrounded us, in our little bubble, our own world. The bridge ended right as Brooke ended the kiss. Now was my moment. Now or never, I couldn't stop now. She had to be mine, tonight. Here. We needed to realize what I have already. I carefully pulled her along my side as the song continued on.
"Kellin!" She squealed joyfully. Everyone was frozen and captivated as we stopped at the edge of the water. My nervous hands began to search for the ring as I got down on one knee. Her beauty only magnified from here, she was perfection. Shock and everything else ran over her face. It took just a second, but as I found the box, opened it, and smiled....We both looked fearless. Forever. Always. Everything was changing right now. And Brooke and I could really share our Forever And Always.
"Brooklynn Mackenzie, hopefully Quinn, soon. Your forever is all that I need. So, I want to ask you for it. Remember, Always and Forever? Well, I can give you that. If you answer this..................Will you marry me?" Each word was a breath. And I awaited her answer, anxiously. I loved her. She was My Brooke. Hopefully, she could be for Forever and Always. But I felt myself being pulled, as I just wanted the answer. I was waking up. But I wanted to see this ending. My heart raced roughly and I tried to grip Brooke's hand. My Brooke. I remembered. Everything, that one night we met each other's gaze. Texting her, kissing her, holding her. Losing her. Over and over again.
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I woke up in tears. How could I forget her? It had been weeks since I was told that Brooke ran off to a different state. Why couldn't I have remembered sooner? Why? I whimpered softly. Was God trying to show that for us, it was always be too late? Will it always be this way? I gathered up my emotions to grab my iPhone, and clicked to my pictures. And I found it. The album of us. I stared down as tears splattered down my reddening cheeks......Until I heard a door open. Footsteps and then a soft voice.
"Kellin...........are.............are you okay?" She choked. It was Harmony. I remembered her.
"No." I managed to sigh, and looked up. My tears only flowed more angrily, as every memory was regained in a matter of seconds.
"Why? Are you hurt?!" She panicked. But I was shocked and frozen. And minutes after sorting out everything, I felt crazy. Not any sort of crazy. The type you feel when you love somebody. I'd let her down, broke my promise.. How could I? More tears soaked me and Harmony was hugging me.
"I remember," I sobbed. Harmony stopped abruptly, staring into nothingness.
"What..?"
"I remember her. I remember everything," I cried. My heart broke. We were supposed to be for forever. Just like our saying, Always and Forever. But how can we when we are so far away in all the ways that matter?