Pooja's P.O.V
After cooking dinner together (obviously it's me cooking and him watching, which he claims as -- he's just looking and learning) and having it, Arjun calls in for a movie night. Flipping through channels he finally settles on Kal Ho Na Ho.
From sitting on two ends of the sofa we end up cuddling, me curled in his arm and pressed to his side. Towards the end of the movie, my water works start. Arjun kisses my hair and rocks me silently telling me it was okay.
But before I can control my mind wanders....... Starting from the movie my thoughts go to how my parents avoid me, how much they hate, how much I like Arjun but how he never realise it.......
My vision starts going black and Arjun's voice fades. I can feel my body trembling and bit my lips to control my sob. I feel the metallic taste of blood but my mind brings all my worst memories and I feel as if I was living in it....
Mother pulling my hairs with one hand and beating me with a cane using her other hand when I accidentally pushed her bestfriend's daughter into the pool on my brother's birthday. I was only five then...
Father dragging me by my arms to the attic and locking me there in the dark with rats and cockroaches around me, when I threw a tantrum for not letting me go for school picnic but they send Megha and my brother. I was only nine.....
How Andrea tried to bully me at school when Megha wasn't around.....
How disgusting it felt, to be touched by drunk men while I worked at bar....
How Arjun always claimed to love Renuka......
It hurt......
Everything hurt.......
Until I felt someone hugging me close and kissing my lips......
My body, my mind, everything froze. When I felt the hold loose and cool air hitting the lower part of my face, I open my to see Arjun breathing heavily with his mouth slightly open. His eyes were glazed but they were looking deep into my soul. I was too breathing heavily and my throat felt raw, my eyes burning, face wet with tears.
"You were screaming..."
"Hmm..."
"What to talk about it?"
"No.", my voice a bit forced and I bite my lips drawing more blood.
"Don't.", he voice husky and pulls my lips from between my teeth using his thumb.
My eyes flutter close at his touch and I stay in his arms... for the very first time I felt safe, at peace.
"Pooja.."
"Hmm..", my eyes still closed.
"Can I kiss you again?"
Before I open my eyes his lips are on mine and I melt into it.....
After what seems like forever Arjun suggests we head towards our room since we decided to go sightseeing with the Murthys and have a small picnic tomorrow morning.
I lay on my bed tossing and turning for how long I don't know. This was the first time something like that had happened. Usually when something of the past comes up in my mind I push it to the very back. And now, I have had a breakdown twice. All my walls I had build up had crumbled down without me knowing. Just because of one person.
Arjun.
He was and is the only one who makes my heart beat faster......
But......
He is also the only one who can make me weak....
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I had already prepared some snacks and light food. Everything was set in a picnic basket, that I found in the storeroom. Food, water bottels, juice, a small picnic mat and sure a small first-aid kit. Arjun thought I was crazy to carry a first-aid kit and I just smiled at him in reply, but no I'm not taking any chances since the day he cut his fingers. I had already told Nisha aunty what I had packed so that if I missed anything she could look through it.
I had been excited since morning and was trying hard to make this perfect. After all this was my first time. We set out on foot. After a few meters away from the cottage, the trees grew thick and dense around us. It was like a mini forest, minus the wild animals and snakes. But there were plenty of birds. The chirping soothing to ears.
After an hour or two of walking through the woods, we find a small clearing. Arjun told me it was where Ma had always set her picnic when they used to come here. He showed me a tree or two where he and his siblings had carved their names onto it.
We set the picnic mat there, and talk about old times. Though I had nothing to contribute towards the conversation, it was nice to hear Arjun talking about his childhood. Apparently the Murthys and Ma and Dad were friends since long time.
We have the food and drinks we had packed and around evening we decide to go back. We were half way when I heard a kitten meowing and went to take a closer look at it. Living in a city, small things like these did intrigue me. The kitten was near a tree looking up afraid. And that was when I heard another faint meow from up above the tree.
"Oh my God! That kittens struck there.", I pull Arjun towards me. "Arjun we can't leave like that. What if that kitten down there has no one other than the one up there. And the up one she'd be terrified and it's getting dark. We can't leave like this. Please please please...."
His hand goes round my waist and he pulls me closer to him, my hands flat on his chest, "What do you want me to do?", his voice strained.
Blood rushes to my face remembering we have an audience and lower my head, "Help them??", my voice had gone extra soft.
He leaves me and soon I miss his hug and warmth. He starts climbing the tree towards the kitten. I don't know why but i somehow feel like I had been in those kittens place. Lost. Afraid. Scared.......
The sun had begun to set and it was getting darker by each minute. Arjun takes the kitty in one of his hand and slowly climbs down using his other hand. He was on the last branch when a crack is heard and Arjun starts falling down.
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One week has passed since our picnic to the woods. Arjun had gone unconscious after the fall, though, the kitten was safe. Murthy uncle had a spare speed boat in a shed near his cottage which both the husband and wife knew to ride. Arjun was rushed to the nearest hospital in it. Thankfully he had only a slight concussion and his leg had suffered from a minor fracture which was put in a cast.
Lunch was over and we both were cuddling on the sofa, his broken leg supported by the tea stand, having an Avengers movie day, when he spoke,
"Kitten...", he had been calling me that since the incident with the kittens.
"Hmm.."
"You know, you are soo cute.", he pulls my nose, making me frown and look up at him.
"Why?", I ask trying to hide my blush and smile with a pout.
"Nothing.", smiling he shakes his head.
I go back to the movie when his next question comes a few minutes later,
"What if I mess up Pooja?", his face serious with a sad frown.
I sit properly in his arms before asking, "Mess what Arjun?"
He removes his hand which was around me though I had the urge to pull it back instead I hug myself missing the warmth of his body and look at the floor, just like him, while he's speaking.
"I don't know Pooja. It's like...", he sighs and runs his fingers through his hair before continuing, "I have known Renuka since I was in college and we had been good friends at first. We started hanging out more and more and when I realised I liked her, I asked her to be my girlfriend. We travelled a lot together, with friends as well as us alone, but...... I haven't felt any of the things that I feel with you. I know it sounds crazy but knowing her for years while knowing you for only weeks has messed me up. I'm really confused. I don't know what is wrong or what is right anymore. It's just......", he drops his head into his hands.
What should I tell him? He needed to know how much of a bitch Renuka is. How she had been using him. But I can't just tell him that about Renuka, especially when I had nothing to prove that. There was also a chance I was wrong about her. Maybe she might be good for him or even better for him than me. It's always told not judge a book by its cover. And that was what exactly I'm doing, right? Judging her. But there was a small part of me wishing, he'd give us a chance before deciding anything.
"Life wasn't easy for me Arjun. For everyone outside, I had a perfect family. But my parents never loved me. You can't say they abused me or harassed me, though to some extent they did. It was just too much for a small kid to handle alone. But see I'm still here. It does matter what you go through, but what matters more is where you reach. Take your time Arjun. Think properly. But just promise me to give us a chance before deciding anything.", I take his hand and give it a light squeeze.
He pulls me to his side with his arms around me and kiss my forehead. Laying my head on his chest, we stay like that for God knows how long, the movie forgotten.
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We have an appointment at the hospital for the evening since Arjun's cast was to be removed today. I decided to take the breakfast to his room but seeing Arjun was still asleep, I put the breakfast on the nightstand and sit next to him, running my fingers through his hair.
He looked so peaceful sleeping like a small child. I lightly kiss his forehead, and my fingers move across his stubble. I felt his pulse speeding and him trying to hold his breath. I lean down towards his face, wet hair falling to either side of his. My hand pressed lightly under his cheeks, I can feel my own heartbeat speeding as I bring my lips close to his,
"Coffee has gone cold....", with that said I run back to the safety of my room.
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