F***in' Arizona

By melanatedmelon

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How bad could it be to enlist your female best friend into helping you lie to your Christian family about you... More

F***in' Arizona Playlist
Character List
Smells Like Teen Spirit (Chapter 1)
Straight from the Horse's Mouth (Chapter 2)
A Simple Smile Can Go a Long Way (Chapter 3)
Those 'In Between the Library Shelves' Conversations (Chapter 4)
A Lot Can Change in Two Years (Chapter 5)
Straight from the Horse's Mouth Pt. 2 (Chapter 6)
"Hope Is a Bitch" (Chapter 7)
Straight from The Horse's Mouth Pt. 3 (Chapter 8)
My Irish Black Coffee (Chapter 9)
The Story of Us (Chapter 10)
"She Will Be Loved" (Chapter 11)
17/18 Again (Chapter 12)
Looks Like the Cat Is Out of the Bag (Chapter 13)
Straight from the Horse's Mouth 4.2 (Chapter 15)
Straight from the Horse's Mouth Pt. 4.3 (Chapter 16)
Straight from the Horse's Mouth Pt. 4.4 (Chapter 17)
Back to the Future in My DeLorean (Chapter 18)
Year 3000 (Jonas Brothers Edition) (Chapter 19)
Year 3000 (Busted Edition) (Chapter 20)
Bitch, You Thought! (Chapter 21.1)
Bitch, You Thought! (Chapter 21.2)
Straight from the Horse's Mouth Pt. 5 (Chapter 22)
Straight from the Horse's Mouth Pt. 5 (Chapter 22.2)
"I Know You Fuckin' Lyin'" (Chapter 23)
The Lies That Bind (Chapter 24)
Straight from the Horse's Mouth Pt. 6 (Chapter 25)
Kismet Foreshadowing (Chapter 26)
Kismet Foreshadowing (Chapter 26.2)
Straight from the Horse's Mouth Pt. 6.2 (Chapter 27)
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner (Chapter 28)
A Matthews Family Vacation (Chapter 29)
Jealousy Is His Name (Chapter 30)
Straight from the Horse's Mouth Pt. 7 (Chapter 31)
The Rouge Black Sheep (Chapter 32)
"Body High" (Chapter 33)
M.D.A.G, Sounds Like a White People Drug (Chapter 34)
Straight from the Horse's Mouth Pt. 8 (Chapter 35)
Straight from the Horse's Mouth Pt. 9 (Chapter 36)
Straight from the Horse's Mouth Pt. 10 (Chapter 37)
Straight from the Horse's Mouth Pt. 11 (Chapter 38)
All That Glitters Is Shit (Chapter 39)
An Unexpected Visitor (Chapter 40)
Two Sneaky Brownnosers with a Hidden Agenda (Chapter 41)
Straight from the Horse's Mouth Pt. 12 (Chapter 42)
Straight from the Horse's Mouth Pt. 13 (Chapter 43)
Straight from the Horse's Mouth Pt. 13.2 (Chapter 43.2)
Death of a Bachelorette (Chapter 44)
"Death of a Bachelor" (Chapter 45)
Longing, Lusting, Loving Looks (Chapter 46)
Longing, Lusting, Loving Looks (Chapter 46.2)
Straight from the Horse's Mouth Pt. 14 (Chapter 47)
Straight from the Horse's Mouth Pt. 14 (Chapter 48)
Author's Note (Chapter 49)

Straight from the Horse's Mouth Pt. 4 (Chapter 14)

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By melanatedmelon

Ari's P.O.V.: UCLA
*Some time in 2013 before the death of Cameron*

"If I was straight, I'd totally date you."

"Yeah well, you're not straight and neither am I and I'm already spoken for."

"You're seriously one of the only good guys I know, Ari. Not douchy, sexist, or trying to play "grab ass" with me."

"I respect you way too much for that Cam. But for real, you ever need me to pretend to be your boyfriend or to beat any guy's ass, I will."

Cam and I were hanging out after class in the cool and breezy 60-degree Californian weather in one of the three hangout quads on campus while she complained to me about some guy who grabbed her ass while she was walking on the campus. It always irked my nerves whenever guys were handsy pricks to girls and women.

"I appreciate that Ari. How are things going with you and Charlie?"

"We're good. Not gonna lie, we've been getting into quite a few arguments recently. I think the distance between us is starting to take an effect. I mean, we haven't been apart that long, but what do you do when you want to talk to your boyfriend face-to-face, but you can't? What do you do when you're horny, but your boyfriend lives thousands of miles away from you?"

"You cheat," Cam says nonchalantly.

I give my friend the side-eye for her response, "Cam, we've gotta find you a good girlfriend so you know where I'm coming from. When are you gonna let me make you an online profile? Or even introduce you to some girls I know?"

"I'm not really feeling the whole dating thing right now. I'm honestly too stressed with this whole ordeal going on with my family to be in a relationship."

"Who said anything about a relationship? You could go on a few dates here and there, get fucked."

Cam laughs at my blunt statement and slaps my arm playfully.

"Well, if it involves getting laid, then just maybe," she says smiling, "When am I going to meet this boyfriend of yours anyway?"

"Actually, Charlie is coming to California to visit me during the holiday pretty soon. You can meet him then if you want. In fact, if you're not doing much, you could spend part of the holiday break with us. I'm not going home for Christmas."

"Yeah, no. It's no way I'm going to my house. Not like they'd want me there anyway. Why aren't you going home?"

"Eh, I'd rather spend a couple weeks catching up and hanging out with my boyfriend who I haven't seen in months than my family who doesn't know I'm gay and berating me with questions on when they're going to meet my "girlfriend".

"I understand that. What excuse are you going to tell them though? And what about your brother? He goes to school here in California too doesn't he?"

"Dak? Yeah, he does. He knows I'm not coming home with him. I told my family that Charlie and my ex were coming to California to visit me and spend the holidays with me here. They love my ex and believe we'll get back together one day. But after Charlie spends a couple weeks here, we're going to go to New York, and I'll spend some time there. Then maybe, but it's a small maybe, I'll go to visit my family briefly. Surprise them and spend a few days there."

"I really wish I could spend the holidays with my family rather than just staying here on campus in my apartment," Cam says sullenly.

I throw my arm around her and pull her into a tight hug and kiss the top of her soft, sandy brown hair, "Hey! You won't be alone; you'll be with Charlie and me!"

"Oh, yeah, because I want to be a third wheel for two weeks. I'll spend some time with you guys, but not too much. You two haven't seen each other in a long time and I don't want to impose on that. I also just don't want to be caught in the middle of you guys making out or anything."

We both laugh but I agree with her. It was almost time for us to go back to classes, so we got up from where we were perched on a bench and headed back to our monotonous uneventful scheduled lives.

*A week later*

I was beyond nervous to see Charlie again. I felt like when you're frying something on the stovetop and you are carefully inching towards the pot, trying to ease whatever it is you're frying, into the pot without getting popped by the scalding grease. You know that anxiousness you get from that? That's the way I was feeling right now.

There were so many people milling about that it was making it hard for me to see. The loud sounds of people talking, shouting, crying, and taxis honking their horns, that everything was such a distraction.
I was waiting at the LAX for Charlie to arrive and walk down through those Delta exit doors, and the anticipation was driving me insane.

Would he be just as excited to see me as I am to see him?

He said he would be here at 1:30. It's 2pm now. Did he stand me up? Was this his way of trying to tell me he didn't want to be with me anymore? By not showing up??

Just as I am about to pull out my phone to check for any texts, I spot a brown-haired guy that roughly looks like my Charlie. Stepping out of my car, I jump up and down in order to see over the car parked in front of me to try and find any recognizable sign of my boyfriend.

That's him! It's him! It's....not him.

I almost bolted towards that guy, but I'm so glad I didn't. That wasn't my Charlie. Can you just imagine if I had run to that guy like a madman though? Hugged him from behind and kissed the side of his neck just to have him turn around and probably deck me in the face and pummel me to the ground.

I start quietly chuckling to myself just thinking about it.

"Ari!"

Where could Charlie be?

"ARI!"

I could've sworn that guy was him. 

"ARIZONA MATTHEWS!"

I turn around at the thought of hearing someone call my given name and squint my eyes in the direction.
Sure enough, there was my man.

"CHARLIE!" I yell back, throwing my hands in the air.

Like a kid chasing after an ice cream truck leaving his street, I ran to Charlie at the other end of the pickup lane.

Charlie drops his bags and makes a mad dash for me like he was back in our high school years of playing football and he was running towards the end-zone.

We totally looked like those cheesy romance movies. And I totally loved it.

When we met up, I picked up Charlie, hugged him, and swung him around. I kissed the lips that I hadn't touched in months and was instantly transported back to the tenth grade locker room where we shared our first kiss.

This was my boyfriend.

This was my man. And I loved him so much.

"So, you're the infamous Charlie, huh?"

"And you're the infamous Cam, right?"

"That I am."

"Come here girl! I'm so excited to finally meet you!" Charlie says excitedly to Cam later that day. He quickly embraced her like an old friend and smiled, "Thank you so much for taking care of Ari for me."

"It's been my pleasure. We've been taking care of each other, honestly. But I thought you guys were supposed to be meeting me around 3:30? It's 6 now."

She was right. We were supposed to be meeting up with her for a late lunch, now we're doing dinner.

"We, uh, got preoccupied once we got back to my apartment," I told her while looking at Charlie.

Flashbacks to a couple hours ago of me and Charlie making out and tearing each other's clothes off and hitting the floor, condom wrappers, moaning, and heavy breathing come back to my mind and cause me to smile and rub Charlie's hot from embarrassment hand.

"Yeah, I'm really sorry about that Cam, it's just that it's been a long time and I really wanted to fuck my boyfriend before I did anything else," Charlie says bluntly causing them all to laugh and her to blush.

"I totally understand," she says after taking a sip of her grapefruit daiquiri mocktail.

"I've got to tell you though Cam, I kind of invited someone here for you to be your blind date even though you didn't know this was going to be a blind date and she'll be here in a couple minutes," I say quickly.

"WHAT?!" Cam says.

"Surprise! It's a double date?" I say.

Just then, my other friend Whitney enters the restaurant. She is a beautiful and fit blonde haired, brown eyed, Instagram model bombshell, who excitedly struts her way over to the table once she spots us. Her shoulder- length flouncy hair bounced behind her all the way and she had the widest smile shinning on her face. Not an eye wasn't on her as she walked over and sat down next to Cam.

"Hey guys!" She says excitedly.

"Whitney, it's so good to see you! I'm glad you decided to come out," I tell her.

"Well after all the good things you told me about Cam, I had to come see for myself! And you must be her, I'm Whitney," she says turning her attention to Cam and introducing herself, hand out ready to be shaken.

"Uh, yeah, nice to meet you," Cam says nervously.

"I take it by the manner of your tone that Ari didn't tell you this was a blind date."

"No, not at all," Cam says laughing, "but that's ok. I'm up for meeting new people."

"Great! And who knows, we might get along well enough to go on a second date. Ari, who is this handsome young man next to you?"

I was so wrapped up in watching for chemistry between the two of them that I forgot to introduce my own boyfriend. He sat there patiently the whole time waiting for me and never said a word.

"Oh man Whit, I'm so sorry, this is my boyfriend Charlie, Charlie, this is one of my friends, Whitney!"

"It's about time he noticed me over here," Charlie says laughing and extending his hand across the table to Whitney, "It's nice to finally meet you Whitney. Ari has talked about you before."

"All devious things I hope!" She says giggling.

The night seemed to go on pretty well. We all had our meals, which were delicious, and right now we were working on the tail end of our desserts.
Charlie and I decided to share a s'mores inspired dessert while Whitney convinced Cam to share an ice cream sundae with her. They seemed to be getting on great so far. Whit's extroverted personality was complimentary to Cam's introvertness. They were able to carry on a conversation without the help of me or Charlie after about the first thirty minutes.

Cam and Whit were down to the last cherry in their sundae when they started play fighting with their spoons over who would obtain the melted ice cream covered topper.

"You should totally have it, I can get the next one next time," Cam said.

"Next time? Well that sounds like a good sign. But you should most definitely have it."

"No way, here."

Cam removes the cherry from the bowl with her fingers and hands it to Whitney, but instead of Whitney simply taking it from her, she eats it right from her hand and seductively licks her fingers of any melted ice cream and cherry juice remnants.

Cam's entire face flushes red as the cherry that was formerly there as she just stares at her clean hand which causes Whitney to giggle.

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself," she says smiling at her.

I throw a glance over to Charlie trying to signal to him that maybe we should get the fuck out of here before Whitney takes Cam right here on our dinner table.

Thankfully he catches my look and flags down our server, Javier, and requests the check.

"Look Cam, I like you already, and I can tell you're a cool person. Not to mention hot and you remind me of a little pixie from a Disney classic, but I'm going to be blunt with you. I am so turned on by you right now and I really want to fuck you and I'm hoping you feel the same way and allow me to take you home," Whitney says throwing all of her cards on the table.

Where the hell was Javier to bring back those slips of paper so Charlie and I could get out of here?! This is getting awkward.

All Cam does is nod her head in agreeance. Whitney goes to stand from the table, but Cam doesn't.

"What about the checks? They haven't come back yet," she says.

"It's no worries. Ari and I got this. You two go have fun," Charlie says.

"Really? You guys sure?"

"Of course! Whitney, take it easy on her," I tell her grinning.

"I don't think Cam wants me to. Come on Cam, let's leave the boys. We need to head to the drugstore to pick up a few items before I rock your world."

The two girls quickly gather their things and hastily head for the door.

"Well that escalated quickly," Charlie says and we both laugh, thankful that Whitney didn't get out of hand.

"Oh, uh, where did the other two go? I brought the checks. I'm sorry it took me so long to bring them," Javier says finally coming back.

"Uh, Javier, I don't think they'll be needing those checks. We'll go ahead and take care of their tabs," I tell him.

"Now that that's done, let's go have some fun for ourselves," Charlie says kissing my cheek.

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