Running With Scissors

By Sam_le_fou

287K 17.5K 25.9K

Diagnosed with a terminal illness, Peter Katz hires a hitman to take him out. But when a cure is discovered... More

The Beginning, Where Nothing Much Happens Until It Suddenly Does
Still The Beginning, But A Bit Later
The Astoundingly Foolish Life Of James Truman-Conelly. Brought to You by Wendy's
Sarah McGuffin, Administrative Assistant
Deux Ex Fried Chicken
Save the Whales, or Something
Memento Mori
Life Is Like A Box Of Nuggets
A.S.W
Seriously, Clamato is Gross
The Seven Deaths of Peter Katz
Gargantuan Jellybeans
That's About the Last Mayor Character of the Story
The Six Stages of Grief
When Dancing, Always Leave Some Room For Kierkegaard
Animal Idioms and Other Non-Sequitur
Chekhov's Scorpion
Mindful Eggducation
The Pen is Pointier Than The Sword
#PleaseDontBeLikePeter
A Mime, A Hipster, And A Frenchman Walk Into A Bar
Ce N'est Pas Un Titre
The Middle of The Story, Give or Take a Few Chapters
Deux Ex Fried Redux
The Chapter Where Peter Finally Dies, And Stays Dead
Don't Blame Karma For Your Own Stupidity
Between A Rock And A Dumb Place: A CYOA Chapter
Cheerful Pessimism
Hawaiian Pizza Makes Logical Sense, But Tastes Like Sadness
Puppies Are The Root Of Anxiety
WWCD?
Vignettes From The Good, The Bad, And The Dumbass
*Insert Corny Title Here*
Tituba The Butcher's Bizarre Travesy
Chicanery In The Coal Mine
No Pugs Were Harmed In The Making Of This Chapter
We Will Always Have Vegas
Katzkaesque
The End, Where Everything Is Wrapped Up With A Neat Little Bow
Buyer Beware: Paid Story Notice
✂️A VERY "RUNNING WITH SCISSORS" XMASS✂️

Playing With Matches: Now In Technicolor!

2K 83 25
By Sam_le_fou

We at Running with Scissors would like to thank you, [INSERT YOUR NAME HERE], for your recurrent patronage.

We are hard at work to be your Number One source of intergalactic anguish and lifestyle choices, no matter at what point in time or space you might currently reside in/on/through/adjacent to.*

We have recieved countless of letters from all around the multiverse** telling us how the story of Peter Katz has affected their life in positive ways. However, we have also recieved letters asking us if there is any lesson to be had when facing death***. Mostly, what it is, how can we stop it, and does it taste good with rosemary and garlic?

As such, we are happy to deliver to you Mister/Madam/Intergalactic Warlord, the following tale, so you can too learn about this newfangled death thing all the kids are raving about. We present to you: Playing With Matches! A completely standalone story with a new cast and funny situations. Although some familiar faces might pop up on the sidelines.

When Chuck Colt, a neurotic Movie Critic from New Orleans, inexplicably sees his own corpse before him, he comes to the sudden realization that he is somehow a ghost. To make matters worse, his body seems to be moving on its own, but instead of quipping about the latest movie releases, it's quipping about his hunger for human flesh.

Now, both Ghost and Zombie Chuck must work together in order to find a cure for their undead-ness before sundown, lest they get stuck like that for eternity — if one of city's weird assortment of monster hunters doesn't get to them first.

The pair must comb through the magical city of New Orleans, facing multiple obstacles along the way — including but not limited to: werepugs, suicidal vampires, and trigger-happy priests — but the biggest obstacle they face is time.

Can Chuck Colt beat the clock to be whole again, or will the Big Easy prove to be too hard to handle?

For what is Tragedy, but Comedy – Time?



* Playing with Matches is not available in the Calliope Nebula and beyond.

** Only multiverses with Plural Systems.

*** If you're a Squid Overlord, disregard any mention of death, as it does not apply to you. Keep on slavin'!

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