Da wanda zaya tsaga jinin da ke jiki na, da zaya ga naka yana ta gudana, akan ƙauna, na manta kaina, masoyi na, nake tunawa. Zan rayu dakai, zan mutu dakai, abadan da ni da kai, za mu zauna.*
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~ J A N N A H ~
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It's the very first day of November. The northern harmattan winds have rolled in, chilling and sucking the moisture out of the air. I felt the change of season wasn't just physical but also emotional, with each day that passed and as each day became dryer and colder than the last, so had my soul.
I hold unto the edges of his grey jacket and wrap it tighter around me. Basking in the comforting embrace his scent sheltered me in and the beautiful memories that reeled in my head as I remembered the night he had given me this ring that has been on my finger ever since. I twist the silver band around my ring finger that was now adorned with an intricate layer of henna patterns, and as I bring the diamond stud to my lips, I also feel Ahmad's kiss on the crown of my head. The kiss he had placed through the material of my hijab on that bitter sweet night.
It has been almost two weeks since the upheaval happened and tomorrow, I face the dawning of the armageddon I've been fighting to resist; my wedding to a man I was sure now that I didn't merely dislike, but I hate. I despise every cell in Faisal Ibrahim's body and the chill of disgust that runs through me as I think about being his wife in only a few hours was colder than the chill of this harmattan night.
I had always seen myself as having a strong body and soul, of not being someone who could easily crumble and be beaten by life so much that the only solution I can find is to make an escape from it, from living, from this world. But now, here I am, lying in bed with two henna stained hands all in the name of a man I detest and I contemplate deeply of the chances of me living a life with him or not having a life at all. With each passing minute and deepening shade of black in the night, I couldn't help the latter argument being more attractive to me.
I give up on trying to make myself fall asleep and sit up on the edge of my bed. I look at the clock on my wall and see that it was only a little past 8 pm. It was early to sleep but I had no other option. It was the only excuse I could come up with to escape from all the suffocating festive wedding ambience that was still diffusing through my doors from downstairs. Tens of guests I didn't even know, were down there having a blast while here I was, the supposed bride, dangling between the thin line of suicidal thoughts and insanity.
My feet touch the cold marble of the floor and I stand up, walking to the window I had viewed all my dreams from on that day Ahmad had come to our house. But now when I look out and see the multitudes of guests' cars, I viewed all those dreams being broken to bits.
I look down at my hands and the bold, black and orange floral designs on them remind me again of the fate that awaits me. The tears start welling up but before they fall, I close my eyes and swallow down a lump.
I've been stopping myself from thinking about Ahmad, from thinking about if indeed, what everyone had said was true but no matter how hard I tried, he's the only one on my mind. His words, his actions, everything that happened that night had kept replaying again and again in my mind and with every passing clip, I became more convinced that Ahmad indeed was lying and putting on and act.
But why?
Was the question that kept torturing my senses and no matter for how long I pondered about it, and the nooks and crannies I searched for it, I still couldn't find the answer.
I hear my door being gently creaked open and when I turn towards it, I immediately turn back to the window and pretend I didn't notice my brother walking in to my room. I didn't have the fortitude to hear Yasin telling me the extent of his dissapointment in me all over again.
"Jannah?" though his tone was soft, I didn't turn back but continued staring out the window.
"Jannah?" Yasin walks closer to me and when I still didn't answer, I feel his arm wrap around my shoulder.
"Your amazing, wonderful, awesome, and insanely sweet brother is here calling you but you're not answering?" He attempts to lift my mood with his playful tone but right now, my life is more serious than it has ever been, my life isn't a joke.
I brush his arm off me and turn back towards my bed, laying down and pulling the covers over me.
"Is this how we're going to do this Jannah?" he groaned and when I peeked from my covers, I saw the look of pure concern on his face. "For God's sake Jannah, won't you just forget about all that happened? Forget about that bastar-"
"Yaya," I unravel myself from under the duvet and stare at him in warning. "Please don't start with this again."
He sighes and runs a hand over his face before sitting heavily on the side of my bed. Perhaps he was going to give me his own brotherly version of the marital advice I've been getting from everyone these past few days.
"Jannah, sit up please. I want us to talk."
Reluctantly, I did what he said, placing my back on the headboard and making my face expressionless as I look at him. I just wanted whatever it is to be done quickly, whatever speech it was about how lucky I am to have gotten someone like Faisal Ibrahim to be my husband, should just be over with.
Yasin brought out a device from his front kaftan pocket and I immediately recognize it to be my phone. The same phone that has been ceased away from me for almost a month now. He fibbles with it for a moment before he turned the screen towards me making my breath hitch as I stare at the beautiful face striking a pouting pose on it.
"Maryam looked breathtaking that day." I managed to articulate and didn't even realise it when I had chuckled in reminiscense of that day. "So beautiful that Yaya, I had wanted to get 50k off you before I allowed you to see her but unfortunately Maryam stopped me. She... she loved you very much, she was about to say... yes."
I study Yasin's face closely but I couldn't decipher what my words had put on his mind or more correctly, his heart. I wanted to read through his emotions and find relief in the fact that he has finally healed but no matter how much I tried, I couldn't. Those big black eyes I shared with him didn't betray any of his feelings and they made reading Yasin impossible to me.
"You fell in love with the wrong person Jannah." he finally says in a whisper, with his eyes cast away from mine and I figure that he still has a thick wall around himself. He was trying not to show it but it was clear, the pain of losing Maryam was still haunting him.
"I want you to forget about that... whatever his name is. He doesn't deserve you and whatever happened that night, if I knew that you still won't forget him and even start hating him after that, I would have killed him right then and there." his whisper turned to a lower but deadlier tone.
"Yaya, I swear, all that was a misunderstanding. Nothing happened, I promise you Ahmad-"
"Don't you say that name Jannah!" Yasin's sudden rise in the tone of his voice made me shiver and wrap my arms around myself, hugging Ahmad's jacket closer to me.
I don't know anyone with a hotter temper than my brother's and at this moment, I knew it was best I complied and stopped uttering Ahmad's name around him. He took his time to calm himself down and I was glad that when he spoke, his tone was that of remorse and reasoning.
"Listen Jannah, I know it hurts, I know how it's like to be away from..." the person you love but those words were too heavy on Yasin's tongue and instead, he shook his head. "It's just that in your case Jannah, you've got it all wrong. That bastard isn't the right person for you, you just need to forget him and start a new life with Faisal. I have talked to him, we've spent time together Jannah and I see no defect in his character. There's nothing lacking in him so please Jannah, I don't want you to go into this relationship half heartedly. You need to understand that Abba, Umma and I all want what's best for you and Faisal Ibrahim is what's best for you."
"He's not! He's not!" even I was surprised by my outburst. "He's not what's best for me! Please Yaya, you're not the one who's going to be married off to him tomorrow morning and faced with the sentence of spending the rest of your life with him so don't tell me you know him just because you've spent a few hours with him! Faisal Ibrahim is a shameless imbecile! There's nothing I admire about him! Absolutely nothing and I know that that will never ever change!" My face falls to my hands and I finally let myself cry.
"Yaya..." I sniff and manage to control the tears, lifting a tear stained face to him "Please stop this from happening. Please, I can't do this. I can't. Please make Abba understand that Ahmad is innocent-"
"Innocent?" he whispered through gritted teeth and I realised too late that I made the mistake of saying the tabood word, "Innocent Jannah!? After all he did to you? To Zara? You still call him innocent?"
"I thought that if anyone would understand, it would be you. I thought that you would understand me since you know what it feels like..." I cover my face with my hands again, feeling defeated and in utter despair.
Yasin was silent for a long while and I took my time sobbing into my hands. I wipe away the tears and stare at him through bloodshot eyes. I notice his indifferent as well as pained expression and when he feels my eyes on him, his hands travel to the front pocket of his kaftan yet again and this time, he presents a piece of paper to me.
"This uhnnn... this was actually what I wanted to tell you." my eyes scan through the paper from some construction company. "I got a new job... it's in Canada and I'll be leaving. Perhaps in January or so."
I look up from the paper and stare at him questionably. Yasin wasn't one of those people that fancied building a life overseas. Four years ago, when he was about to start his Masters degree, Abba suggested that he enroll in a university in the UK or the US but Yasin preferred staying here at home in Nigeria. So this definitely meant something other than just a job, it was something to do with that wall he had built that enclosed his pain. He wasn't just building a wall around his pain anymore, he was attempting to run away from it.
Yasin coughed a little awkwardly before going on to explain, "Rev's dad did some talking and got me the contract as an Architectural Technician. I'll be due to sign it and start working early next year."
"Okay... I'm happy for you." I smile trying to suppress the heavy feeling in my chest. "Just take care of yourself?"
He nodded and returned my smile though it didn't reach his eyes and that was enough to confirm my earlier doubts. This indeed had nothing to do with getting a job and everything to do with pushing everyone away and making that wall he had built even more impenetrable. It pained me that there was nothing I could do to help Yasin, that getting over losing Maryam is a fight that he'd have to face alone just like I had.
Reverance Bolaji had been Yasin's best friend since forever and I wasn't surprised that Rev had something to do with helping Yasin with his plans on becoming an island. I sigh before giving him back the paper and after he put it in his pocket, Yasin looked at me through such a soft and vulnerable gaze that I thought he was about to break down.
"Here," Yasin says, handing my phone to me, "Call him. I'm going to give him the benefit of doubt."
I was speechless and I could only nod, hastily collecting the phone and finding Ahmad's number with shaky fingers. I press the dial button and press the phone hard to my ear, feeling my heart threatening to slam out of my chest.
"What do you want?" was the first thing he said and perhaps my anxiety had blinded me so much that I didn't hear his exasperated tone.
"Ahmad?" I couldn't help my voice cracking.
"Yes it's Ahmad Sambo. State your reason or otherwise hang up now. I have little time for bullshit."
I place a hand over my heart and close my eyes, gathering the strength to turn deaf ears to everything he said I know to be clearly lies.
"Why are you doing this? Why are you lying Ahmad?" I ask calmly.
"Listen, you were great and all that but I have no use for you anymore so yeah, have a good life. I've got to go start packing now, bye."
"Packing?" my eyes shot open and Yasin's stare on me intensified.
"Put it on speaker," Yasin's volume was almost inaudible when he mouthed to me and I obeyed.
"Where are you going Ahmad?"
"I'm afraid that's none of your business but I heared tomorrow's your wedding, yeah? So it's a special day for the both of us. I leave tomorrow too."
I wanted to ask where to again but there was a more pressing question on my mind, "Ahmad please, please please tell me what's wrong?
The silence was menacing yet it gave me hope, making me feel like what he was going to say next would be a truth that would change Yasin's views about him but soon enough, he shattered those hopes.
"Why are you so pathetic? I really never had someone chasing after me this much, it's flattering and all but Asiya or whatever your name is, have a good life and let me have one too."
"Ahmad what's happening? Please Ahmad I-"
"I might be blind now," Ahmad cuts me off, "but that doesn't mean that my standards have dropped so much for me to be with someone like you. I have already gotten what I wanted from you just like I did with Zara so-"
Before Ahmad had finished, Yasin snatched away the phone from me and without a word, he disconnected it. He glared at me for a long while before putting his gaze on the blank screen of the phone.
"It's settled, he failed... again. So Jannah why can't you still see that he isn't right for you? That you will only keep hurting yourself by doing this?"
"He's lying Yaya. I know he's lying. I just don't know why." my vision turns blurry with tears as I pull my knees up to my chest.
"The nikaah is at 8 am tomorrow morning. I expect you to forget about him by then." Yasin's words were no less than an order and he stood up to his feet, making for the door.
"Please-"
"Enough Jannah!" he turns back swiftly and points his finger down at me. "Tomorrow. 8 am." he deadpans and slams the door after him.
I sink back into my bed and pull the covers over me closing my eyes shut, praying for sleep to overtake me before the thoughts of the irreversible ultimatum Yasin has announced kicks in and deprives me of sleep.
Just as I start floating away to the land of oblivion, a noisy clatter makes me open my eyes to the sight of Umma with a tray in her hands.
"Tashi Jannah, tashi ki ci abinci (Get up Jannah, get up and eat some food)"
With weary eyes and a weary head, I place my back on my headboard and gawk at the unappetizing plate of couscous Umma has just placed on my cupboard. Though these days, food had dropped down on my list of priorities, today, it had hit an even lower bottom. I feel incredibly nauseous just thinking of eating and I know that I only get like this when that time of the month was approaching or even already here.
"Umma, let me just go to the bathroom real quick." with a yawn, I slipped out of bed and upon reaching the toilet, my doubts were realised.
Sighing, I take a pad and secure myself in a cotton armour before washing my hands and stepping out of the bathroom. By the whirlwind of events that had taken place this month, I know I was in for innumerable bouts of painful cramps.
"Jannah?" Umma looks at me with an expression I couldn't tell to be in relief or fear.
"Na'am Umma (yes mom)" I answer just a little bit alarmed after I sit myself back on bed and wonder how I'm going to swallow this meal without puking.
Umma sits besides me and continues looking at me in that indiscernible expression. "Jannah, did you just see your period?"
I nodded in the positive, figuring that she must've known that from the scrunching sound the pad packaging made when I was in the bathroom.
"You did? Alhamdulillah!" she exclaimed with one hand over her chest.
I was beyond confused and upon noticing the look on my face, she went on to explain even more dramatically.
"Allah ya rufe mana asiri (God has saved us from shame?) Jannah, you having your period means you're not pregnant!"
It was then that my simpleton mind grasped the situation and with that realisation, my expression turns sour. Umma too doesn't believe the fact that I might've ran away and went to Ahmad that night, I might've spent hours in his house, in his room and I might've even slept on his bed but nothing had happened between us. Ahmad's art of chivalry couldn't be surpassed by even a knight.
It pained me that my own family didn't believe me, they didn't have any trust in me but I guess it was what I deserved for breaking their trust.
I kept mum and shifted my attention back on the plate of food, taking half of a spoonful and preparing to put it in my mouth.
"Jannah, now I can have the peace of mind of being sure that if you do get pregnant after the wedding, the child you're carrying will be Faisal's. I have been in fear of that ever since that day but Alhamdulillah, Allah cikin iko da rahamarsa, ya kare my daga kunya (God in His Mercy, has saved us from disgrace.)"
The couscous was stale and bland in my mouth and I finally swallow it down my throat. I take a gulp from the glass of water and all I want now is to empty my mind from everything. I don't want to allow myself to think and process anything because that is when the pain will start to set in. The pain of everything Ahmad had said to me and not knowing why he said it, the pain of what Umma has just said and not knowing how to change it.
"Alhamdulillah," Umma kept chanting while I continued to swallow the meal in front of me as quickly as possible so Umma would leave as quickly as possible.
"Shikenan, Allah ya cece ƴa ta (God has saved my daughter) from those merciless people. After everything that I told Kulthum, I thought at least she'd consider my situation from a mother's perspective but she didn't, she's as heartless as her son."
I stopped eating and stared at Umma transfixed. What was she saying? What had she told Kulthum Sambo?
"Umma? What... what was it you told Mrs Sambo?"
"The truth. I told her the truth about why I don't support your relationship with that boy and begged her to keep him away from you but she didn't..." Umma places a hand on my cheek but I still stare at her dumbfounded, wondering when this had occurred and what exactly it is that happened.
"Okay, Umma please? What exactly did you tell her?"
"Your condition Jannah," her thumb caresses my cheek and her tone is low, "I'm your mother. Do you think I won't notice that awful behavior you picked up ever since you started working for the Jada Foundation? I noticed it Jannah and I know that staying with someone who's blind will only worsen it so I told her the truth about everything but that wicked woma-"
"Umma." I turn my face away, disconnecting her hand from my cheek.
I set the tray back unto the cupboard and stand up, this new found information having left me dumbfounded. I was surprised as well as deeply confused and I wondered if this had had anything to do with Ahmad's behavior. I wonder if this was the answer to my questions.
I couldn't even look at my mother talk less of replying to what she had just said so I just took the tray in my hands, preparing to take it back to the kitchen hoping that she would follow behind me and leave my room.
"No, give it to me." Umma stopped me and collected the tray. "Your aunties are outside and they have already been complaining about your behavior, I don't want them to keep seeing you and asking useless questions."
Of course, I was more than happy to comply and let her leave along with the tray but just before Umma opened the door, she turned back to me.
"And yes, Yasin is taking the bus and driving me with your aunts to your house to make some last minute arrangements. So make sure Jannah, that you lock the doors when we're gone."
Umma has been calling the two bedroom flat Faisal has rented as my house ever since they started moving the furniture and home appliances she has been stowing away for me for this occasion for years now.
"Jannah there's no one at home so don't forget to lock the doors okay?" Umma reminds me again before slamming the door shut.
I sigh heavily and lay on my bed. I roll myself up in a ball as I feel building pressure on my abdomen. A cramp was on its way and I brace myself to muster the piercing pain without taking any painkillers. I needed something to occupy my mind so much that I won't have space to think about anything other than the pain of my uterus destroying itself.
I gripped my lower stomach and let the twists and pierces attack me without a complaint. But it wasn't enough to tame my mind and stop it from wandering to the forbidden lands of wanting to run away again. I was going to be left alone soon, I could easily make a run for it and go to the place my heartbeat was. I would go to Ahmad and this time, he would tell me the truth. He would tell me that indeed what my mother had told his mother was what caused his act, that he had been pushing me away on purpose just because of the unreasonable fear and inaccurate information Umma has placed in his mind.
My eyes were closed and I craved for sleep to claim me, to come take me before I lost myself and bolted to the doors where instead of locking them as Umma had instructed, I'd run out of them and find my way to him again. But something reminded me that if I did do that, it'll all go in vain since they know where to find me. I cannot hide in the same place and expect to fool them twice so that definitely wasn't the solution right now.
But I didn't have time to think of any other thing, the clock on my wall ticked away the hours to my wedding carelessly; it was already past 10 pm, merely ten more hours to go.
Upon hearing the bus drive out of the gates and the pin drop silence that confirmed that indeed, I was alone, I get to my feet and find a large hijab to drape myself in before hurrying downstairs.
When the cold door handle meets my fingers, I feel discouraged instead of invigorated to pull it open. I know that even if I run now, it won't be an escape. I was still in doubt as to the reason for Ahmad's actions and I couldn't place all my bets on what Umma has told me to be the cause. The fear that everything he did and said was true starts growing in my chest and it is what convinced my feet to move back from the door and take me back to where I came from.
As my spirits plummeted and I retreat like a fallen warrior, my ears hear the tune of a ringing phone and when I looked around, I found it to be Umma's phone. In her haste and excitement to go to my house, she had forgotten to go with it.
The caller ID read the name of my soon to be husband and as if that was cue, an eureka moment turned on a light bulb in my mind and made me answer the call.
"Ina wuni Umma. (Good evening mom)" came his pathetic, sugar coated voice.
"Uhmmm, Faisal, it's actually me."
"Oh wow it's Mrs. Asiya Faisal Ibrahim herself, what a strike of luck." he chuckles and I had to remove the phone from my ear before he was done.
"I uhmmm, I need you to come here to my house. Is that possible?"
"Whow, sounds like you want to start getting naughty right now but slow down Tigeress, I can't come over with all those people around."
"I'm alone. There's no one home so please come over, don't worry."
"Oooh... now there's no way I can resist such an offer. I'll be there in twenty and have you in bed in thirty where-"
I didn't wait to hear anymore of his rubbish before ending the call and for the next twenty minutes, I ignored the cramps weakening my legs and I paced through the living room waiting for him.
A knock sounded exactly at the seventeen minutes mark and when I opened it, there he was in all his appalling glory staring at me through his teeth.
Wordlessly, I motion for him to step in and I close the door behind him only to be surprised by his next move.
"My darling," Faisal hugs me from behind and his head rested heavily on the crook of my neck. "I couldn't wait a night longer too," his hands start moving waywardly on my body and by reflex, I elbowed him, making him yelp in response.
"Faisal stop," I move as far away from him as possible. Calling him here when I was alone was a risky move but it was a risk I was willing to take.
After he had regained himself Faisal looked across the living room towards me and gave me a toothy grin as if he was pleased.
"The Tigress is already up I see."
"That's not why I asked you to come here!" I snapped at him, daring to take a few steps closer to emphasise my point, "Faisal, what I want you to do is call off this wedding. Faisal, I beg you in the name of the Most High, I beg you to have mercy on me and please, please, please Faisal, please don't marry me."
He looked lost and now, I was standing at only a little distance from him before he broke out in a deprecating laugh.
"I thought we were over that. Jannah. I want you and I thought I made it clear to you that Faisal Ibrahim always gets what he wants. You are mine and there's no way to change that." he steps closer with a wicked smirk on his lips and as his words ring in my ears, one louder voice overpowers them.
"Only you are mine."
It was Ahmad. Back in a corner of their house where the noisy party music boomed while he held me captive by the loving sincerity in his voice.
"I'm already somebody else's." I make sure to stare Faisal dead in the eyes as I said that.
"I forgive your past Jannah, I forgive you for letting that blind jackass break my wrist and I forgive you for everything else related to him so it's okay, no need to worry, I forgive you for everything. Now where were we?" his hand reaches out to graze my face while I'm stuck on awe of the depth of his conceitedness.
"No! Faisal didn't you hear me? Isn't it clear to you that I don't love you? I don't even like you not to talk of love. I hate you Faisal." my tone was a fierce and I move away from his touch.
"Hmmm, this is getting intense." the way he runs his eyes over my whole body makes me feel sick. "Why don't we go to that room over there and you give me a demo of how much you hate me before I get the full package tomorrow morning?"
"You're disgusting Faisal! You're a bloody fool! And I hate you so so much! I will never ever marry you Faisal. Never."
"Oh really?" he grasps my wrist painfully as a familiar terrifying fire ignites in his eyes. "Get one thing and one thing clear my darling. I am Faisal Ibrahim and I have never wanted something and not gotten it. Luckily for you, this time my subject of interest is you and so Asiya Haroona, you are mine. Your everything is mine, your soul and your body, everything. It's only a few hours before you're officially signed off as my property and then this pure, fresh flower..." he didn't need to finish that sentence, the glint in his eyes said it all and so did the disgusting grin on his face.
"Too bad I'm anything but pure and fresh." all along, this had been my plan. I know Faisal couldn't be moved by my mere begging and requests, he needed to be shoved and pushed off the cliff.
I needed to convince him of this lie my family had considered the truth, he needed to think it was true too. I would only escape him if I made him realise that I wouldn't meet his expectations, that I wasn't the untampered and untouched piece of candy he thought I was.
Faisal's hold had instantly loosened as his eyes grew wide and I withdraw my hand. The look in his eyes told me that my next words should be carefully calculated, the monster in him was starting to awaken.
"Yes, you heard it right. Someone has already made me his in every way possible, both body and soul. So Mr Faisal Ibrahim, this time, you're mistaken, this time, you won't be getting what you want."
"Who?" his voice dropped significantly lower, his hands balled up and I readied myself to collect a beating, "The fucking blind guy?"
"Yes. Ahmad Sambo. I gave him everything and I know that what I experienced with him, I will never get with you. You're not nearly half the man that he is."
I was surprised when what happened next wasn't a hit on any part of my body but Faisal walking away with a slow and easy stride.
"I called you a whore once right?" his back was turned to me as he continued to walk towards the exit. "That was the only mistake I ever made, you are not a whore Jannah, you are a witch."
Faisal opened the door but before he stepped out, he turned and looked at me with such a vicious stare, that I felt myself shiver to the depths of my soul.
"So my darling, everyone knows what the punishment for being a witch is, everyone knows you don't marry witches, you burn them." his eyes grow mellifluously dark and a smile curles up his lips before he disappears out the door.
I release a breath of relief and let myself slump down on the couch feeling the battle going on in my lower abdomen with greater intensity than the one that had just happened between me and Faisal. I close my eyes to steady my reeling head and I place a hand over my abdomen to calm the spares and arrows that were piercing it.
I was in fear, no doubt about that, in fear of the look in Faisal's eyes and no matter how much I tried to expel him from my mind, he didn't let me rest and for the ten minutes I was on that couch, with my eyes closed, the fear in me only grew.
The apprehension forced me to forget about the pain in my head and in my stomach and made me get to my feet to go lock the door Umma has repeatedly asked me to lock.
I hadn't even taken a step forward when I stopped in my tracks and my feet shakily started moving backwards, behind the couches as I gaped in mortification at the scene in front of me.
Faisal had a gallon of what by the nauseating and overpowering smell of it, I know was petrol and he was pouring its contents right in front of me. He poured it on the threshold, then in every other part the highly flammable fuel could reach before the last drop ran out and he threw the empty plastic gallon at me.
"What are you doing! Faisal please don't, please stop!" I raise up my hand and scream when I see the tiny flame of a lighter in his hand.
I start running towards the door or at least out of the area he had poured petrol on but I had barely made it two steps before Faisal went outside the exit and threw the lighter inside. As I watched the flames engulf before me and spread rapidly, encircling me and leaving me with no place to escape, all I did was wound my arms tighter around myself, hugging Ahmad's jacket.
A/N
And it ends with a bang! 😥 This chapter is long overdue. It's the latest I've gone without posting up an update but here it is, hope it was worth the wait.
Lyrics from the paragraph up above are from Umar M. Shariff's "Zan Rayu Dake."
*Translation of lyrics : If the blood in my veins could be cut open, then yours will be seen running through it. In desire, I've forgotten myself, I can only remember my beloved. I'll live with you, I'll die with you, forever you and me we'll be together.
(this one was hard to translate, anyone with a more accurate translation please feel free to suggest.)