This was originally meant to be a fanfic but I decided to just fuck it and make it a oneshot.
Warnings? The F bomb is used a lot
KEY:
(Y/N): your name
(N/N): nick name
___
You were there. Among the rubble, lifting every piece of shattered glass and brick, tirelessly searching for a body you didn't want to believe was there. Your arms ached, as you lifted a withering door, to reveal the body of your best friend.
"J-Jason." You feebly cried, your worst fears come true. You knew this would happen, but to see it? That was a much worse. You hugged Jason's body to yourself, refusing to let go even when your teammates told you he wasn't alive.
It had been years, six precisely, since then. So when you heard the raspy, thick voice of the boy you believed you'd lost, you couldn't believe it.
There he was, clad in red, throwing punch after punch at you. If it weren't for the way he said your name "(Y/N)?", you wouldn't have known. Yet, there was a small part of you, you believed had known it was him.
He was taller, a ghost of a smile appeared on your lips, you used to tease for being shorter than you, but look how the tables had turned. His muscles were more defined, he no longer had those thin arms you had come to love, instead they were replaced with larger, stronger ones. His face was still hidden, yet you knew how he looked.
You imagined he still had those sharp eyebrows, and those piercing green eyes that you always felt judged you. His smirk that made you feel that he always knew something you didn't. You knew it was him.
Before you could even retaliate, he was called to the side of his mentor/ master, you weren't sure which. You glared at Ra's, thoughts flooding in to your mind. If Jason was alive, why didn't he come back to you? Was he angry that you didn't come for him? Was he mad that you didn't aid him in his journey to Ethiopia?
You were told to leave. The team and you headed back to the bishop. You didn't speak a word; you didn't want to. You knew it was him, yet you didn't know what to say.
The team didn't notice your shock, the silence being something they were accustomed to. "I saw him," you said, eyes piercing forward.
Nightwing turned around, a look of sympathy on his face. He didn't say anything though.
"I saw Jason. I swear." You pleaded, the rest of the team all gazed down, well aware of the likelihood of what you were saying being true: zero. With the exception of Brion, Halo and Forager who only sensed the shift in mood, yet did not question why.
You're lips thinned, knowing that they wouldn't have believed you. Who would? Hadn't you done this before?
Once you arrived back to Happy Harbour, you were stopped by M'gann and Dick. Both having an endearing look on their facing, but to you it was a look of pity.
"(Y/N) We know-"
"Fuck this! You don't believe me do you?"
"We believe you thought you saw Jason." Dick slowly began, but you didn't care, you've heard it all before.
You knew what was coming; they thought you weren't fit for the team, or at least mentally fit anyway.
You walked away instead with the shred of dignity you had left, not bothering to shed a tear, you had lost too many of those on Jason.
__
It was reckless. Definitely stupid. And something Batman or any other leaguer would never approve of.
You were sneaking around in the league of Shadow's base. Glad that they had turned to the light and left Ra's, because lord knows you can't take a five hundred assassins on your own.
You had put your costume on stealth mode; had it made any different? You weren't so sure. You snuck around corner to corner, Jason has to be in one of these rooms right?
You stopped in front of one, hearing grunting from outside the paper thin doors. You slowly, slid the door open, and low and behold there he was. Escrima sticks in hand and practicing on a wooden body. A genuine smile appeared on your lips; it was him.
He had turned around and you couldn't contain you're excitement. He had evidently aged, but he still has the same look of determination in his eyes.
Jason, since the incident on Infinity island, had his memory returned in snippets. He remembered Dick, who he was sure he had seen on fighting with him on the island, and the team behind him, most of whom he didn't recognise. But if there was one person he was sure he saw, it was you.
He wasn't sure what he was waiting for. The most important bits of his memory had returned, so he had no reason to stay. He drew in a harsh breath before attacking the wooden body again, remembering the memory of his death.
A creak echoed as the door to his room was opened, Jason waited, expecting to hear the voice of Ra's or one of his servants. But instead, he saw you.
This time you weren't in the costume you had before, but he still knew it was you.
"Jason?" You slowly approached, as if he was a wild cat, not knowing how he would react to this sudden invasion of privacy and security.
Jason shoulder's slouched, his chest constricting when he saw how much you'd changed, no longer were you that bossy 13 year old he could tease. You hair was longer, your face had become more toned - no longer did you have those chubby cheeks - and your costume revealed the effects of puberty.
He stared at your costume critically, it was different. He wasn't so sure he liked it. He didn't like change. He arched an eyebrow, wondering if the other's had changed too. If his "death" had left a bigger impact than he'd thought.
"(Y/N)?" he smiled through clenched. Was it too pessimistic to believe that no one would come for him?
"We have to go." You demanded, and Jason couldn't agree more. He found his purpose to leave the island. You.
The two of you left the island, sneaking out through a secret passage Jason had found during his first days here.
"How did you even get here? There are no Zeta beams?"You gave him smirk, placing your fingers on your lips as you led him to the outskirts of the island.
You smirked as you pointed at supercycle. Conner's supercycle. You were sure he wouldn't notice it was gone for a few hours, he and M'gann were planning on going on a date tonight weren't they? The two of you hopped on the supercycle and silently flew back.
Your thoughts were filled with many emotions; happiness, excitement, and fear. Fear that once Jason was back he'd leave you, fear that once you'd touch ground, he would go back to the team and the events of five years ago would repeat, and worst of all? You feared that Jason would do something he'd regret.
You cleared your throat. "For a guy who led the league of Shadows, you'd expect he'd be more tight on security." You laughed, hoping to lighten the mood. Jason only offered an empty chuckle in return, he had a feeling that Ra's would eventually return him to Batman, and probably knew the minute you'd landed.
The two of you touched down, in a green area behind your apartment complex, away from prying eyes. You coaxed supercycle in to turning invisible, so she'd be hidden. "Listen Jason." You began. "I know you probably want to go back home and or to the team. But could you just stay with me. For tonight at least?" Your eyes began tearing up.
You knew it was selfish, you didn't want Jason to return to the team, or even to Bruce on that matter. You wanted him to stay with you, play happy families or whatever the fuck it was that normal people did. And most of all, you didn't want the team to even know he was there, you wanted him safe. Little did you know Jason felt the same way, but for different reasons of course.
Jason didn't hesitate to answer you back, hands grabbing yours. "Of course I'll stay with you, fuck, (Y/N) you know I love you." His hands let go of yours, running through his hair. Those words weren't something he'd say often, he couldn't even recall the last time he'd said them, but these were deserving times.
You didn't let Jason finish his sentence, enveloping his body in to your own.
___
It's been weeks; the team still doesn't know about Jason, and the two of you we're okay with that. At least you were sure you were. That was until you noticed Jason left at night.
You decided to take it upon yourself to follow him one night and to say you were surprised was an understatement. You found him dressed casually; brown leather jacket and black trousers, but what struck you the most was the red helmet on his face.
"Ahem. Ahem?" You cleared your voice.
He froze, the smirk on his face fading. He hadn't told you his plan yet, things weren't ready. He heard you land near him, soft on your feet like always.
He smiled fondly, glancing over his shoulder. "I'm surprised you put that thing back on, itching for the hero life?" he called, turning around her.
"You've made some reputation for yourself. Red Hood. But it won't be long until they find you."
"I'll take my chances." The two of you were only an arm's length apart. His smile grew. " The world's greatest detective would've found me already, the old man is probably still in denial" he said, taking a step closer.
You tensed, staring at the gun in his hand. Jason didn't used to use guns. "I just want to talk Jay, so please put the gun away," your voice quivered.
He frowned, glancing down at the weapon. You didn't think he'd hurt you did you? His eyes narrowed. "You think I'd use it on you?" he said, tightly.
You glowered at him. "Honesty, I don't know what you're capable of anymore," you replied, coldly. He had been distant once he had returned, and you feared that he'd do something he would regret.
He stuffed his gun back in its holster as he eyed you scornfully. "There, happy?"
You gave him a dry look and faintly shook your head. "Why are you doing this?" you begged.
"You know, being reborn fucks you up in the head," he began. "Sometimes my thoughts get jumbled and then I panic, my head burns up. Sometimes memories, more than one, come back to me. But if there's one thing that forever looms in the back of my head, the laugh of that fucking clown."
You knew where this was going. "If Bruce can't do it-" before he could finish you landed a hard kick in his shin. He winced, his face scrunched up in pain. "You're a fucking idiot," you swore, he flinched
You turned her back to him, running a hand over your face. "I placed flowers at your grave every year, did you know that? Every single fucking year." You sneered, shaking her head.
"Every Christmas, every birthday, heck I even visited your grave on July fourth."
That small speck of guilt he had grew bigger, hurting. "...I'm a fuck-up, okay, I'm sorry," he apologised, inching closer, wanting to embrace you, but had to restrain himself. "But this is between me and the bat. I didn't want you to get hurt."
You looked disappointed. You just got him back, and there he was leaving again.
He sighed deeply, averting your gaze. "I had to keep you in the dark. I got plans, important ones."
Your eyes narrowed. "I'm still mad..." you said sternly. "But, I understand why you felt like you couldn't tell me," you added, meeting his gaze. "But you can't do this. You're gonna get yourself killed Jay," your voice lowered.
His heart tugged a little when you said his old nickname. His jaw tightened and he hastily tried to shake the sentiment. "I'm getting vengeance," he argued, firmly. "Their way doesn't work, (Y/N). It's just a never ending cycle." He wanted to grab you and shake some sense into you.
"They puts that psycho in a body cast for six months only for him to escape and start causing havoc all over again. It doesn't fucking work." You may not understand now, but he knew you would eventually, once he'd proven Batman's way didn't work. "You'll understand-"
"Don't patronise me," you snapped coldly, narrowing your eyes. "I don't want to hear you justify what you're doing."
He felt an icy feeling wrap around his chest. "He's still alive, though," he said, coldly.
You're expression closed off. "We don't get to play judge, Judy and executioner... even if we want to."
"Oh, please, you honestly think that a cockroach like that would be missed?" he snarled, getting up in your face.
You gaze darkened. "So, all criminals are cockroaches, right? Completely unredeemable?" You said, frigidly.
His jaw stiffened, realising what you were getting at. Before joining the team, you didn't exactly have the cleanest record and neither did he. The Red Hood backed off a little, looking away. "Don't use yourself as leverage, (Y/N). Things aren't-" He saw a glimmer of movement from the corner of his eyes.
A small bullet clinked his helmet when it skimmed passed him, hitting you above her chest with a loud crunch, harshly jerking your body.
His entire body froze when the blood hit his mask, his hands automatically reaching out to grab you.
He looked around quickly, trying to find the shooter. His gaze zeroed in on a retreating silhouette. He raised his gun to shoot but you redirected his attention. You were the main concern; he could (slowly) kill the fucker who shot you after you were stable.
___
You hissed at the sharp pain in your chest as you woke up. "Donkey shit," you wheezed. It fucking hurt to breathe.
There was a thick smell of rubbing alcohol in the air, mixed with blood. You rolled her head to the side, you were laid down on your burgundy sofa with a pillow supporting your neck. Your mask was off and your costume was zipped open, a thick bandage covering your chest and your costume was stained brown from the blood.
There was a rustle of movement. "Take it easy, (N/N)." Jason was by your side, with his helmet removed. He wore a domino mask underneath, looking more like the Jason you remembere. "You're lucky my first aid skills didn't go with my memories." He cracked a small smile. "You'll need more painkillers, though."
"Thanks..."
Your gaze shifted back to your chest.
"Who shot me?"
"I don't know," he replied quietly, narrowing his eyes. "But I'll find out."
You shook your head, trying to sit up. "Don't."
Jason sighed irritably, rolling his eyes. "Once you're stable enough I'll leave," he said, standing up to full height. "So, don't waste your energy trying to talk me out of it."
Your eyes snapped opened, staring up at the ceiling. " What...do you think...?" You swallowed some mucus, pacing yourself as you spoke. "Is going...to happen...with you and me....after this. With us?" You said, quietly, coughing.
Jason grew quiet, averting his gaze. Not answering you.
You ground your teeth together, narrowing your eyes at the water stained ceiling. He said he loved you didn't he? Had that not been true?. "I'll never...forgive you if you hurt him," you forced the words out, coldly.
His eyes narrowed, finally looking at her. "I'm sorry, but his way doesn't work."
"And, killing him..." You forced yourself to sit up. "W-will?" You scrutinised him.
His shoulders tensed. "Do you know how many people would be alive if he'd just put a bullet in the clown's head?" he snapped, his voice breaking. "The Joker's been destroying my family for years, and it's time to end it," he stressed.
You faintly shook her head, trying to ignore the pain in her chest. "The league is already unstable...Batman is unstable...do you really... think this will.... do any good?"
"He..." The corner of his lip twitched down, a glimmer of uncertainty flashing cross his face. He looked away.
You reached out to grab his hand. "I'm sorry. The Joker...I'm sorry... he took you away from...us," your voice softened. "From me." You said barely above a whisper.
"I know...I know things aren't always fair or right...but I can't see you do this. I love you." You sighed and managed to grab his hand, finally returning the words he had said to you the night you brought him back. "Please, just stop."
He stared at your clasped hands intently. "You know I can't. I'm in too deep." He let go of your hand. You bit down on your tongue to stop yourself from swearing. "If being a hero means I have to let animals like the Joker live, then fuck it."
"But, you don't have to do this. You don't have to be a hero!" You finally snapped, causing a sharp pain in your chest. You started coughing violently, your face scrunching up. "You don't...ugh!" You spat on the floor, breathing shallowly.
"Why can't we just be us?"
He looked away, not able to look at you anymore. You sat yourself further up on your sofa. You grabbed his jaw with your hands, despite the pain in your chest. You stroked his cheeks, his face still looking away from you.
You turned his face towards you. The next thing he knew, you had slammed your lips to his and nearly knocked all wind from his lungs.
He hardly had a moment to react before you pressed up your tongue to the seam of his lips and, at his grant of access, delved inside his mouth. It was a very sloppy kiss with the strong scent of cigarettes, on Jason's part, being exchanged in the intermingling of your billowing breaths. His arms reached up and tangled around your smooth, soft neck. In an instant you had pulled away and arched up into his broad chest, moaning in the contact of body heat against your own.
"Why can't we just be us?"
A/N: idk what happened hear. I had a long bus journey and this plot had been playing in my mind. Btw guys please read my other YJ fics they're based on season 3. Feedback on those and this would be much appreciated.