I'm screaming, drowning in the tides of thought
All the memories I've tried so hard to fight into the depths of the abyss, resurface
I'm falling apart as things come full circle
The thoughts, the emotions, I'm drowning, and I can't breathe
My traumas will always haunt me, and I fall into the victim category
I never thought I would be such a trope. Yet here I am
I've always wondered what it would be like to wake up next to someone, inhaling their natural fragrance, and wishing to stay like that just a little while longer
As the sun shines onto the sheets, and "Happy" by NeverShoutNever, plays delicately through the open door between our souls
Pulling back at the sheets and laughing softly at the blanket hog that sleeps next to me
Being draped in the soft rays of mutual affection
But that was stripped from me, lost,
I sit alone in this bare room, clothes strewn across the ground, shivering
The icy frost of his tone is the only kind of feeling I get, lost in the emotional sounds that resonate from "The ice is getting thinner" by Death cab for cutie, surrounding what is left of my being
He whips my naked back, with reminders, and a savage crack of his hand against my face, as I lay whimpering
Tossed like trash, only given the bare necessities to survive the trauma, forced into hiding like a skin and bone rat
There is no chatter, no happy sensations, no trust, when I am clawed at like prey
No excited first moments, no hot and heavy moments, no chance at that magical "first"
Kicked into the dirt, into the floorboards, wherever works best, so I can best suit the man's needs
Tears of pain mixed with dust and grime. "Don't cry, Bitch, you're ruining the moment, enjoy it!"
Wipe away my tears, it's okay. It'll probably be the nicest thing anyone's done for me in a while.
Cause I'm drowning and that's okay, let me die in these traumas, I'll write a letter to you that'll end up in your trash
But that's okay