Requested by : Devildice_iz_life
Fanart Not Mine
(You'll have to forgive me. I've never watched the show before, so it may not be accurate.)
(Also, this is a 'time skip' to when they're older, so around late high school age.)
Dib's POV
I felt someone grab me from behind.
They grabbed the back of my shirt and threw me in the bathroom. I couldn't tell who they were until we were locked in a stall together.
"Zim!?" I shouted at the alien. "What the hell is wrong with you!?"
"I want to make a deal," Zim said in an unusually serious tone.
I was a bit taken back. "What kind of deal?"
The alien cleared his throat. "If you teach me more about a special Earth custom, I will reveal my true identity to our fellow students."
My jaw dropped. Is he serious? After all these painful years of humiliation and desperation, everyone will finally know I was right?
This was too good to be true. "How do I know you're not trying to trick me?" I asked.
He answered, "Well, you're not the first person I've asked to teach me your customs but no one seems willing to participate."
"What custom is it?" I raised a brow.
"A secret one; so secret that I will not tell you what it is until you agree," Zim crossed his arms defiantly.
"Fine, fine," I waved him off.
"Are you sure? There's no take backs."
"Yes I'm sure! Deal!" I said impatiently. Seriously, what's the worst that could happen?
Zim asked, "What's porn?"
I stand corrected.
I asked him, "How and why?"
He explained, "Well, I was doing research on what makes those so-called 'memes' so appealing so that I can-"
"-take over the world with them," I finished his sentence for him. "Get to the point."
"There was one meme that mentioned porn, and naturally, I looked into it. I found it to be a strange Earth custom humans do to please themselves. But I still don't understand it."
I sighed, frustrated, "Porn's another word for sex, and sex is what humans do to reproduce."
Zim put his index finger on his chin in a confused manner. "Hm... so humans aren't born in incubation capsules?"
"Do you ever pay attention in Sex Ed?"
"Nn....no?" he said slowly. I facepalmed.
Zim continued, "Either way, that doesn't explain why humans find so much joy from such an activity."
I crossed my arms, turning red in the face. This was embarrassing. "Why do you wanna know?"
He was reluctant to answer, "Mm... to enslave the human race with it."
I rolled my eyes, "Of course..."
Zim thought for a moment. "Perhaps I'd understand more with a demonstration. Would you mind showing me how it's done?"
"OH MY GOD!" I yelled, blushing so much I had to cover my face.
Zim said flatly, "Humans seem to have that reaction every time I ask."
"You can't just say something like that and expect people to not freak out!" I scolded.
"Ah, so it's a sacred ritual," he said, completely misunderstanding.
I groaned, aggravated. I was about ready to leave when a small thought popped into my head. If I do this, he'll reveal his true identity.
No, I'm done with that nonsense! No one cares so why should I? Because he embarrassed me in front of so many of my peers. If I do this, my reputation will be redeemed.
A hard bargain to say the least.
I decided to play along with Zim's delusions. "It is a sacred ritual. That's why whenever someone does it, has to be kept a secret."
Zim smirked, "I knew it! But, how is it pleasing to humans?"
I said, "I'll demonstrate. But I'll need your full participation, so you must do what I say!"
Zim considered. "Typically, humans should have to do what I say. But, since this is your ritual, I'll listen."
I nodded stiffly. I can't believe I'm doing this.
"Alright," I explained. "So, uh, this ritual usually starts off with kissing. You know what that is, yes?"
"Yes I do," he said proudly. "All those couples in the hallways do it all the time."
"Would you be willing to try it?"
"It looks disgusting. But, for the sake of my research, I will!" He answered.
I double checked the lock on the door; I don't want anyone to see me like this. I nervously pulled him closer and pressed my lips into his. He seemed confused but went along. After a good minute or two of awkward kissing, we parted to breathe.
"My lips feel weird," was Zim's first response.
The tips of my ears were flaming. "Next, um, is called a 'blowjob'. Typically females do this to the male species. For our demonstration, you will represent the female species."
"How do I do that?" He asked.
"F-first, get on your knees." He did.
I unzipped my pants, fingers shaking. "N-now, you have to suck on this."
Zim raised a brow,"What is that thing? And why's it so tiny?"
"Just do it!" I said impatiently. I added quickly, "It's an important part of the ritual."
"Okay then..." He took the tip of my member in his mouth and sucked on it lightly. I held back a moan. This was my first time too. Soon he found a pattern he enjoyed: suck, bob, stroke, repeat. My breath quickened and it became harder to hide my moans. I came in his mouth. He jumped back in surprise.
"AH!" He gasped. "What was that!? Are you trying to poison me!?"
I was too stunned to reply. I sat on the lid of the toilet, panting and blushing wildly, as I watched Zim disgustedly spit out the cum in his mouth. Finally, I explained to him, "That was sperm, Zim. It's what the male species does to show they're pleased."
Zim gave me a sly grin, "So, I'm pleasing you?"
I glared, "Shut up." I picked him off the ground and repositioned him to face the wall. I pulled down his pants to his surprise. I wanted to finish this quickly.
I explained, "This is the last part of the ritual, and it's the most important part." I positioned myself at his entrance. "It's gonna hurt at first," I warned him.
"Nonsense!" Zim scoffed. "A real Irken warrior feels no pain!"
I pushed myself into him. I heard Zim squeak. My body shook from the sensation I felt inside him. Meanwhile, Zim groaning, leaving nail marks on the wall. "You good?" I asked him. He didn't reply. I noticed his eyes welled up with tears from the pain, so I wiped them off.
"Where's the 'pleasing' part?" He mumbled.
"Right now. Just hold on tight," I said.
I began to thrust. It had to be the greatest feeling I've ever felt. It was hot, and tight but it felt amazing. Zim moaned softly, probably trying to hide his true feelings. Either way, I kept pushing myself harder and faster into him until finally I came again.
We fell on top of each other, gasping for air. I rested my head on Zim's back, wrapping my arms around him. That was intense.
Zim finally said, "I see why humans find that... pleasing." I nodded weakly in response. "Though, I don't think I could use this ritual to take over the world. I'll stick to memes."
"You do that..." I sighed.
He added, "By the way, Dib. Do you still want me to reveal my true identity to the human race?" I almost forgot.
"Do what you want. I'm too tired."
Bonus Picture :