Sistine's POV:
"What's wrong, Emma?" I hear Mama ask from the other side of the wall, making me stop my story and leave the room to check. "You're looking pale." It seems like Mama's observing the reactions of the eldest children.
As expected.
Emma has her eyes wide open, sweat dripping down her forehead, too. "Now that I think about it, this morning, you weren't in your usual good spirits." There's no doubt that Mama knows very well how to detect emotions. She's always been like that. But...
... she shouldn't have done it in such a horrifying manner.
"It's nothing!" Emma beams, which makes Mama flinch immediately. I was about to continue listening, but I felt someone tug my sleeves.
"Sistine, is something wrong?" Nayla asks worriedly, making me turn to her.
I shake my head to reassure her, whispering, "Everything's okay. I just had to check if the clock was working now."
"Oh, okay..."
We are supposed to be continuing the story now, but I heard the bell ring. "It's dinner time," I hear Ray utter. "I got everything ready, Mama."
"We'll get there right away," Mama says with a smile.
"Let's go, too, Sistine," Nayla says excitedly, jumping up and down like a gleeful lamb.
I place a hand on her shoulder, leading her to the stairs and saying, "You go on ahead, Nayla. We'll continue our story later. Go with Mark, now. He must be waiting for you downstairs."
"Okay!" she says, rushing down the stairs with her ponytail flying behind her. With the coast clear, I turn to Mama, who is already walking away.
Looks like she's done interrogating them.
"I can understand that you're desperate to find the culprits, Mama," I start, rushing over to walk by her side, "but you shouldn't have done it with such force. Just saying."
"What do you mean?" Mama asks, lowering her eyes to look at me.
I take her book and carry it for her, saying, "Mama, your voice was calm, yes, but the way you were looking at them was terrifying. I don't know about you, but I think that anyone would be scared to see you stare like that. It's not the look they're used to."
"Ah, I see what you mean..." she replies, lifting a finger to cover her mouth. "Was I really giving them that look?"
"Yep," I reply, walking beside her. "To be honest, I would think that her normal reaction is wrong. Because really, if I were in her shoes, I would get a stroke. Especially because I didn't do anything wrong. Neither did she."
I turn to her with a impressed smirk, saying, "Kind of amazing to think that she could do that, huh?"
She looks at me for a few seconds, then turns to look straight ahead, saying, "Well, why else would she be able to live this long?"
"How come I can't do that?" I pout, to which she snickers in response.
"People come with different talents, Sistine," Mama says. "It just so happens that faking isn't one of them."
... or is it?
●
"Where are you going?" I ask Ray, who starts running off somewhere. I chase after him, but with my extremely weak legs, I could only maintain our distance as short as possible.
"The wall," he responds blankly. "You remember where that is? You haven't seen it in years."
"Or so you think," I shoot back, rushing ahead of him and running to the wall like I know it by heart. This time, he's the one trailing behind me. However...
... upon seeing Emma and Norman there, I freak out and hide behind one of the trees, wheezing in sheer and utter panic. My legs go weak, making the ground below me shake until I collapse.
"What's wrong?" Ray suddenly asks after catching up. He cups my cheeks, muttering worriedly, "Hey, what is it? You tired?"
I shake my head, saying, "I forgot how distant I am with those two... what if they..."
"They wouldn't suspect you, Sistine," he assures me, but I shake my head again.
"They've been keeping an eye on her, Ray. I'm always near Mama. They most likely would have thought that I'm an enemy, too."
"But you're not," he utters, resting his forehead on mine. He always knew that it made me feel better. He stares deep into my eyes and says, "Sistine, do you really think they would suspect you, of all people? Do you have any idea how insecure Emma thinks you are?"
"Why? What does she think I am?" I ask him, searching for answers in his eyes.
"She thinks you're fragile," he confesses. "She thinks that you go to Mama because you're having problems with getting along. It feels impossible for Emma to think you're a bad person."
I lower my eyes, trying to fight back a sob before Emma and Norman hear us. He seems to notice instantly, pulling me in for a hug. He gently rubs my back, tracing constellations and other little things on my back. "Okay, we'll stay here for a while. I'll go, and you listen in, okay?"
I nod silently, whimpering in fear. "Do you think that they'll try to kill me, Ray...?"
"They won't. They wouldn't do that. Especially Emma."
My eyes widen, and my blood runs cold upon hearing him say that. It was only then that I realized what he was doing.
I have gone blind. He was on her side all this time; he was just tolerating me to keep me around. He is just holding me right now for his own benefit. So that he wouldn't be heard. So that his plan would work.
So that his love can escape. So that Emma can escape.
I let out a silent chuckle, to which Ray looks at me for. I keep laughing softly, tears running down my face as I do.
His eyes weren't holding that sweet sparkle anymore. I saw it earlier. He doesn't care about me. He never did. He doesn't plan on letting me escape for the sake of keeping me alive. He plans to let me escape to help her. He doesn't care about how I feel right now.
I'm just his trump card; I never even realized it.
I push him away, holding a fake smile and saying, "I feel better. You should go to them now. Sorry for bothering you."
"You sure?" he asks me. "You sounded like you're about to go insane."
"It's nothing," I say, closing my eyes with a smile as I lean back on the tree behind me. "I just thinking the usual 'beep boops' and then I started laughing. Remember when that used to make me feel better?"
"Ah, right..." he utters, scratching his nape.
"Well? Go!" I snicker at him, giving him a "shoo" gesture. "Get out of here! Go and help them out."
He nods silently, getting his book and rushing over to where they are. I watch as he disappears in the sea of trees with tears streaming down my face.
A trump card... All those years where I stayed with him... meant nothing.
I knew I loved him just as much as Norman loved Emma, but I should have at least seen this coming. It's so painfully obvious, how could I have missed it?
Ray... after all this time...
... was I really nothing to you?