If I could turn back the clock
I'd make sure the light defeated the dark
I'd spend every hour, of every day
Keeping you safe
And I'd climb every mountain
And swim every ocean
Just to be with you
-You Are the Reason
-Calum Scott
•••••
Violet Mason:
You do realize graduation is only in a week right?
Riley Carter:
Yes...are you ready?
Violet Mason:
Do I look like I'm ready?!
Riley Carter:
It's literally walking on a stage, collecting a scroll of paper and smiling for a photo. All you have to worry about is trying not to fall.
Violet Mason:
Great. Just great.
I lazily dragged myself off of my comfy bed and onto my feet, wrinkling my nose when I smelt my pyjamas. I refused to change into more suitable clothes...or rather clean clothes, after I took a bath that morning.
I walked the short distance to my desk pressed up against the wall and connected my phone to the charging point. My phone pinged with another message from Violet and I grinned when I read it.
Violet Mason:
Picking you up in a few, wear something decent ; )
Riley Carter:
Ok x
I rolled my eyes at her message but then again felt it was necessary for her to tell me to look nice after the clothes I had been wearing for the past occasions we had gone out.
Since Ryder and I had split, I didn't feel the need to dress nicely since I wasn't looking for anyone anyways. Not that I dressed nicer before Ryder and I had met.
Come to think of it, my sense of style was horrible since day one. It didn't change whether I was in a relationship or not.
I walked barefoot to my wardrobe, my feet cool on the hard wooden floors. I was grateful for the sudden coolness, Grey's Town had been blistering hot for the past week. Sometimes I just felt like walking around naked but I hadn't gotten around to doing just that.
The heat resulted in me exhausting myself faster than usual and as a consequence, I slept most of my days away. I didn't mind, when I was awake it reminded me I didn't have anything to do anyways.
It was easier to go through my days now that I was sleeping them away, I hardly thought of Ryder making it easier to block him out. All I was waiting for was this year to end so that I could move onto my university and forget about all of this.
It would be easier there, the memories would fade faster.
I picked out a yellow frilly blouse and paired it up with ripped sky blue shorts and white flip flops. After I changed out of my light cotton pyjamas and into my clothes I suddenly felt overwhelmed with heat.
I turned on the AC and sighed as it cooled my heated face. The beads of sweat that were forming on the back of my neck dried up due to the blast of cold air and I tied my hair up into a messy bun so that it was away from my face.
I gave myself a once over in my floor length mirror and smiled at my reflection. I frowned and tried another smile, this time without teeth feeling like the previous one looked a bit too forced. I narrowed my eyes at the tightness of this one and sighed.
Have I forgotten how to smile?
I really need to get out more.
I eyes my messy bun atop my head and wondered what I would look like with shoulder length her. I made a mental note to cut it when graduation was over.
Just as I was about to leave my room, I stopped as my phone pinged with another message. Thinking it must be Violet probably telling me she'd be late I made my way back to my desk and picked up my phone, still bright with the new message which had appeared.
Dylan Andrews:
Hey Riley, can we talk?
Again?
Dylan had started to message me every single day since the day I had went to Kyle's house and asked, well practically begged, Ryder to take me back. It seemed like so long ago but in reality, it's only been a week since.
We've established I am a clearly pathetic excuse for a female, we can move on with our lives now thank you.
I had just got back from seeing Ryder and there was a message from Dylan asking if we could talk. He asked the same thing everyday and I had ignored him since. I wasn't interested in anything he wanted to say and I didn't want to know either.
I swiped my thumb across my screen and cleared the message, before placing my phone back onto my desk and making my way to my living room.
My eyes found the television remote lying on the couch table and I pressed the power button, turning the blank screen on.
I placed the remote back onto the table and hummed as I crossed to the kitchen, searching the cupboards for something to eat.
Didn't I just go grocery shopping?
I thought as I stared at the empty, opened cupboards in confusion. Empty except for a packet of Italian Linguini as the packet read. I didn't even remember buying the linguini and wondered if maybe I might have given my groceries away, knowing me I would probably unconsciously do something like that.
"International psychopath and criminal Cody Mason, reportedly captured just yesterday by female FBI Agent Nova Luther who was captured by Cody Mason just earlier this year."
My ears perked up at the news coming from the television screen. It was funny, this psychopath was an international psychopath and yet I have had no idea about this guy until now.
"Cody Mason now resides in Everton Winston as a patient and will be under extensive treatment to reform himself and once complete, will be sent straight into Grey's Town Jail with a life sentence and no bail. I am Fredericka Thompson reporting live from Everton Winston."
I grinned in excitement as I realized I still had an unopened bag of pretzels lying on my desk in my room.
I skipped past the television screen but stopped in my tracks once I heard the next words out of the reporter's mouth.
"Now onto more local matters, a Nissan Skyline swerved off of the side of the road and wrapped itself around a lamp post around four AM this morning. The driver was immediately rushed to hospital and we have heard no news since..."
My blood turned cold as I stared at the screen which showed a picture of the car wrapped around the pole. I covered my mouth trying to hold in a sob as the car's distorted shape glared back at me from the screen, bits of glass littered the road and gleamed in the picture's lighting.
I willed myself to calm down and just breathe, after all there could be hundreds of people who owned a skyline in Grey's Town.
Ryder wasn't the only one.
The shrill sound of my phone's ringtone startled me back to reality and I tore my eyes away from the screen and rushed to answer it, a sudden fear settling in my bones which chilled me to the core.
"H-hello?" I answered shakily after seeing Kyle's name flash across my screen.
"Riley, it's Ryder-" Kyle's voice was cut off by several voices yelling on his end of the receiver.
I stood rooted to my spot, frozen in shock. I knew what his next words were going to be, but it didn't make it any better when he said them.
"Why didn't you call us? It's not like you cared about him anyways!" I faintly heard a voice yell from Kyle's side which sounded like Noah's.
"Ryder had an accident Ri-Riley he's h-here in..." Kyle trailed off.
I instantly snapped at him, begging him to complete at least one of his sentences.
"He's where Kyle?" I yelled into my phone frustratedly, running a hand through my hair.
"Grey's Town Central Hospital, it's the one you were admitted in. Cameron said that he called Violet and she's on her way to pick you up," he explained, sounding like he was on the verge of a mental break down.
"Is he okay?" I held my breath as I waited for Kyle to answer, only hearing his shallow breathing.
A few minutes of silence passed filled with only the sounds of the rushed hospital where Kyle was and my heavy breaths.
"Dammit Kyle answer me!" I exclaimed, biting my lip to prevent the flow of profanities that were about to escape.
"Riley, I don't know! They're trying the best they can," Kyle answered, just as frustratedly as me.
I took a deep breath to try and calm myself down before I took my anger out on Kyle, who didn't deserve it.
My phone pinged with a message from Violet, saying she was downstairs.
"I have to go Kyle, Violet's here."
"I should go too, Noah looks like he's about to murder Ryder's parents," Kyle sighed.
"See you," I mumbled, ending the call already running down my apartment steps to the parking lot.
I jumped into Cameron's car and Violet took off, looking just as equally worried as me. She didn't make a move to say anything and neither did I, we sped down the roads in silence.
I chewed on my lower lip all the while praying and hoping he would be okay. He would be okay, the world wouldn't save me if they couldn't save him.
Tears threatened to spill out of my eyes but I angrily rubbed them, now was not the time. Violet pulled up in the parking lot, abruptly coming to a stop and parking the car in the first spot she found.
The hospital wasn't busy, thankfully, as we ran up to the front door. The door slowly slid open and the both of us entered, speed walking to the front desk.
"Ryder Wilson," I said breathlessly.
The lady behind the desk didn't question Violet and I as her fingers flew across the keyboard, typing out Ryder's name.
"ICU room, floor four," the lady answered.
I rushed to the stairs and heard Violet right behind me. I took the steps two at a time, not bothering to wait for Violet as I let the panic I felt consume me and carry me to floor four.
As soon as I reached the top of the stairs I slid across the polished floors and bumped right into Noah.
Noah turned around, a furious look plastered on his face. Until his eyes fell on me and they softened completely, he wrapped me in his arms and sobbed into my shoulder.
I held him to me and rubbed his back up and down, feeling a few tears of my own slide down my face. As Noah shook in my arms, my mind wandered to the worst thoughts.
Was I too late?
Noah pulled away and rubbed at his red, swollen eyes.
"Sorry, Riles. I can only imagine how you're feeling," Noah sniffled, pulling away from my embrace.
Confused, angry, hollow, rushed...need I explain more?
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Violet practically jump into Cameron's open arms. She buried her head into his neck and he closed his eyes, comforting her.
"He's not going to die, we all know Ryder's stronger than that. He wouldn't leave us," Kyle said from behind me.
That means he's not dead.
I let out a breath of relief at the thought.
I turned around and found Kyle staring angrily at the closed ICU door, probably where Ryder and the doctors were.
I nodded and stepped away from Noah and Kyle, where I spotted Kailon and Genevieve. Kailon was pacing up and down the hallway, his tie was twisted sideways on his neck and his hair was ruffled and untidy. Genevieve sat in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs, holding her head in her hands.
I took small steps to where the couple was, I noticed placed far away from my friends.
"Kailon, Genevieve?" I asked hesitantly, watching as both their heads snapped up at my voice.
Kailon stopped pacing and stared at me with a pained expression, meanwhile Genevieve shot out of her chair and wrapped her arms around me.
I stumbled back, not expecting that reaction, since she didn't seem too welcoming since the last time I'd seen her. Slowly, I wrapped my arms around the petite woman, her expensive perfume wrapping around me.
She held me for a few moments before she released me and stepped back, allowing Kailon to greet me.
"Riley isn't it?" Kailon asked, his voice coming out deep and gruff.
I nodded stiffly, remembering how Ryder had been treated by him the last time I saw him.
"Mr Wilson," I greeted back.
"I'm surprised you stuck around Ryder," he said, still belittling his son.
Anger flared up inside me and the need to defend Ryder suddenly rose.
"I'm surprised you're here," I answered just as coldly.
Kailon's grey eyes widened in surprise, not expecting me to answer him.
"He is my son Miss Carter, a horrible one at it, but my son none the less," he said sternly, his eyes challenging me to speak back.
I took the challenge and answered, "It's not a profession Mr Wilson. There's no certain way to behave, maybe if you treated him more like your son than one of your employees, you would have received the respect you demand from him."
With that being said, I spun on my heel and walked away from Ryder's parents sparing Genevieve a polite smile before I left. As I came to a stand beside Violet and Cameron, I felt Kailon's eyes still boring into the side of my head, I ignored him.
It was torture waiting outside Ryder's room. Doctors exited and reentered, refusing to speak to us. Minutes turned into hours, as we waited impatiently for Ryder's results.
Surely if it was taking this long, there was no chance Ryder wouldn't make it out alive. That was the only thought that kept me sane.
Suddenly the door to Ryder's room opened and a young female doctor stepped out, we hadn't seen her exit the room before.
She removed the mask from her face which remained stoic, not giving away any emotion.
Everyone rushed to her at once and she took a step back to put some needed space between us and her.
"Mr and Mrs Wilson?" she asked, her eyes landing on Kailon and Genevieve.
They stepped forward and she gestured for them to follow her. The doctor walked to a secluded corridor, Kailon and Genevieve trailing eagerly behind her.
We watched in anticipation as the doctor spoke to them, her mouth barely moving making it hard for me to try and read her lips.
Genevieve clutched her mouth and shook her head, tears streaming down her beautiful face. Kailon stood, his face turned to stone. Genevieve covered her face as she sobbed uncontrollably into her hands.
I shook my head, refusing to believe my eyes. I couldn't stop the tears that flowed from my eyes and watched as the doctor came to speak to us next.
"I'm sorry for your loss," she said sympathetically.
"No! No! This is impossible," Kyle exclaimed, pushing everyone to the side so that he was face to face with the doctor. "You're lying to us."
The doctor shook her head sadly and started to walk away from the raving teenager.
Tears streamed down Noah's face as he wrapped an arm around Kyle's waist, trying to stop him from attacking the doctor.
I stumbled back and slumped down into one of the plastic chairs defeatedly.
This type of heart break was different, it was intensified by a tenfold. I pulled my knees to my chest and sobbed into them.
I'm sorry for your loss.
This type of heart break was worse than before because I knew I would never get him back.
I faintly heard someone settle into the chair beside me. A white envelope appeared in front of my blurry eyes and my eyes flashed to Noah's broken ones.
"He left it on his desk," he mumbled, pressing the tiny envelope with my name on it into my hand and getting up and walking away.
I clutched the envelope in my hand and that made me sob harder, my last reminder of him. Just this morning I was grateful to leave for university and forget all about him, now I was clutching onto the small memories that made my heart bleed.
It was funny how life worked.
•••••
I didn't know how much of time went by as we all sat in the hospital cafeteria, none of us willing to talk.
I felt like I was empty, not numb, empty. Like someone had ripped my heart out of my chest with a rusty blade, and now a gaping hole was left in its absence.
It wasn't a new feeling, it was the same feeling I had when I lost my family. Only this time, I was uncertain I would ever recover.
Ryder's unopened envelope settled in my pocket, feeling as if it was weighing me down. I didn't see Noah give anyone else an envelope and so I had decided to open it alone, in the confines of my home.
I felt the presence of someone behind me and tensed up when I heard their voice.
"Riley?" Dylan asked, his voice sounding hopeful.
Kyle abruptly shifted his chair backwards and stood up, lunging for Dylan's throat. He wrapped his arms around it and slammed him up against the nearby wall, thankfully we were the only ones in the cafeteria.
"You've got some nerve coming back here after all you've done," Kyle growled, squeezing Dylan's throat.
"I-I just wanted to speak to Riley," Dylan said, struggling against Kyle's grasp on his throat.
Kyle opened his mouth to answer but I cut him off.
"Let him go Kyle. It's okay," I said tiredly.
Kyle released his hold on Dylan and reluctantly stepped back. He walked back to his seat and slumped down in it, watching Dylan with narrowed eyes.
Dylan rubbed at his throat and signalled for me to follow him. I complied and followed him just so that we were in front of the front desk and out of the cafeteria.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, his eyes tilted down in concern.
"What do you want?" I asked frustratedly, not wanting anything to do with the traitor in front of me.
Dylan clenched his jaw, not liking the tone I used on him. I had always respected him up until his betrayal, he didn't deserve it now.
"Brandon, was in a coma. He regained consciousness last week-"
"Oh lovely," I said sarcastically, mocking Brandon's accent.
Dylan ignored me and continued, "He's been asking about you. He wants to see you."
"Has he lost his memory too? Why on earth would I see him?" I asked, rolling my eyes at Dylan.
Dylan pleaded with me to understand him, "Please Riley, it will only take a few minutes. He has some things he'd like to say to you before he goes."
"Goes where?" I asked curiously.
Dylan shrugged his shoulders, "He probably wants to tell you himself."
I mulled over the situation in my head, thinking of a decision.
"Why would I trust you? After all, the both of you have the same traitorous blood inside you big brother," I hissed.
Dylan's eyes flashed with annoyance, "I already apologised Riley, I am not going to beg for your forgiveness."
I took a shocked step back, not expecting him to reply back with just as much of aggressiveness.
I kept my mouth firmly shut, having no energy to go through with an argument.
Then a sudden thought popped into my mind. Ryder was in a car accident...so was my family. Brandon was the cause of my family's accident, could he possible be responsible for Ryder's death?
There was only one way to find out.
"I'll go see Brandon," I said finally.
Dylan nodded and I texted Violet I was going to be a few minutes as I followed Dylan.
We took the elevator up to the fifth floor, I followed Dylan down the empty hallway until we stopped in front of room 408.
He nodded at the door and settled into one of the chairs positioned opposite the door. I stood outside the opaque glass.
I took a deep breath before I pushed it open, the sight of Brandon lying in a hospital bed stared back at me.
He wore a pale blue hospital gown and was tucked in by a white blanket. He was connected to a heart monitor, and his eyes looked sunken as they stared back at me.
"I didn't think you'd come," he rasped out, licking his chapped lips.
I stood, pressed against the door unwilling to move. I came to ask about Ryder but I was also interested in what he had to say.
"Well I'm here," I said, my voice sounding oddly robotic.
Brandon nodded.
"I admitted myself into Everton Winston," he paused, "and confessed to every crime I have committed."
Now that took me by surprise. My mouth dropped open in shock, my eyes widening to the size of golf balls. He chuckled at my expression.
"Before you ask, yes you heard right."
I took a few steps towards him so that I was standing beside his hospital bed. I settled into the chair placed beside him and leaned on me elbows, gesturing for him to explain my interest now fully piqued.
"I am a shitty person, you are the one person who knows that the most," he kept his eyes trained to his hospital gown, "I've done some pretty shitty things and I've fucked up so many people's lives. I used and abused you for fun, because I never truly loved you. I just needed a toy."
I watched as Brandon's eyes glistened with unshed tears, but he continued.
"I don't want to be this person anymore, I hate who I am. I want to change Riley, become the saint you were supposed to love but most importantly for me. I want to be someone, not just this piece of horse shit," Brandon said, clenching his jaw.
"Good luck," was all I said, because I truly had no words to express the tornado of emotions that were raging on inside of me.
Brandon's lips twitched as he ran his hand through his greasy hair.
"I don't expect you to forgive me," he said.
"I don't."
And that's my cue to leave folks.
I stood up from the uncomfortable chair, giving Brandon one last look. With my hand on the door handle, I opened the door forgetting to ask Brandon about Ryder. I was about to ask him, but his next words eliminated my thought.
"Oh, and your boyfriend Riley," I turned around at the sound of Brandon's voice ready to strangle him if he said anything related to Ryder's death. "He's a good guy, he really loves you. Keep him around."
I could only nod in response and fled the hospital room, running down the steps and out of the sliding doors into the parking lot.
I crumbled to the floor, the asphalt burning my knees. I threaded my hands through my hair and let out a scream through my sealed lips. Waves of pain and anger washed over me as hot tears streamed down my cheeks.
I could cry oceans for Ryder, but it still wouldn't be enough.
Then it finally struck me. My family died in a car accident, all of those accidents were planned and perfectly executed by Brandon.
But not Ryder's.
This was the only accident that wasn't planned.
•••••
Usually I would crack a joke or something, but I don't think my heart can take it.
Thank you for reading my chapter : )
(I know you probably hate me because this was the final chapter, but check out the Credits video in the Epilogue chapter.)
-Grayx