After awhile of travelling with none of us in the mood to sing, I start talking. I tell him everything. All the things that happened with Veron. I don't hide a single thing. This is the last secret I have with him and I'm telling him all of it.
Jake's secret isn't mine. It's not mine to tell.
When things were about to get serious, Seth must have sensed that and stopped the car in an empty parking lot. I couldn't help myself from crying but he reaches out and hold me while I finish talking.
He stays without saying anything after I finish.
"If you don't want to be with me anymore, I understand. You can leave me." I tell him. I can't bare to see him go but I have to say it anyway. I have to let him decide.
He pulls back from me and makes me look at him. "I won't leave you Hope. I won't ever leave you and I will never let anyone hurt you. Never."
I nod and lean into his touch. He kisses my forehead and we stay like that for sometime before going back to my new apartment.
The Landlady gave me the keys to my place. She eyed us weirdly when he saw our bruised faces but said nothing. We bought medicine on the way over here so the first thing we did as we went to my new place was putting bandages to our wounds.
"This may leave a black eye for somedays." I tell him examining his purple eye. We cleaned all of our wounds with water and got rid of all the blood.
"Then I can remember hitting him and the pure pleasure of it, every time I look in the mirror." He smirks.
After bringing in my boxes, we arrange the place a little. Tidying up and getting rid of the dust, we make it a lively place. I find out that there's WiFi and cable TV with more than 1 channel which is really exciting.
"Seth?" I ask, as I put the clothes in the closet near the bed.
He is lying down on the couch looking at the ceiling, When I called him, he looks up at me. "Yea?"
"The landlady said that there are light strings and pillows in the basement. Would you come with me to go see them?"
He smiles and stands up. I climb down to the living room and together we go to the basement.
We bring back like 5 light strings and 6 pillows. Surprisingly, all the light strings work!
I don't have pillowcases so I just leave them in the corner thinking that I could buy some later and begin to attach the strings around the apartment. I always liked light strings. They make the place cozy.
After that, it takes us about 30 minutes to get the place look like a home and then we decide to go eat some dinner.
~~*~~
I like working at the supermarket more that I thought I would. Seth being there, it's more fun. I'm getting a good hang of my job. This place has become like my second home.
It's been about a month since we met Veron. Not once did me and Seth talk about meeting him, we didn't even mention his name. We avoided everything that might lead to that topic. This is the past, none of us want to talk about. I feel really light now that I've told someone everything I have tried so hard to hide, all this time. I feel relieved. It's amazing to have someone where you don't have to be nervous or embarrassed to talk about anything at all. I love that I have Seth.
We have been going out on dates every Friday. We went to see places around Seattle and sometimes even away from there. We had a picnic outside of the city one day, where we got the entire view of Seattle and it was one of the most perfect dates.
We didn't fool around during work but we do share an occasional conversation or two that doesn't relate to work.
Right now, I'm working in the veggies sections. There aren't any customers here so I'm arranging the vegetables neatly.
"Hey gorgeous." Seth comes towards me with a playful grin.
I hit his forearm. "Cut it out." I look around to see whether someone is around us to hear it. But there's no one here.
I look at him again to see him smiling at me with amusement.
"What?" I ask.
He shrugs. "Nothing."
I look at him pointedly and raise my eyebrow.
He rolls his eyes. "Your beautiful, that's why I was looking. Can't I even admire my girlfriend now?"
I know it's only been like a month since I became his girlfriend but hearing him call me that, make butterflies dance around in my stomach.
I giggle nervously and continue working.
"So," He starts. "I was wondering if your are okay with coming over to my place? Tomorrow?"
I stop midways. It's a big deal to be alone with him, in his apartment. I know we were there in mine the day I moved but that was different. We weren't going to do anything. We had moving stuff to do. Plus, nothing was going to happen anyways cause that was right after a huge secret reveal.
This is different. This is scary. I'n not sure if I'm ready for something like this yet.
"We have to work." I say, avoiding his eyes.
He leans in closer to me. "It's Friday honey."
"Oh" It escapes my mouth before I can stop it.
"I know you are scared. I'm not Veron. I'll never hurt you." He touches my cheek. "We'll just watch movies and order out. Just be home, resting. We went out every Friday until now. I just want to hang out with you tomorrow."
He isn't Veron, that is so true. Seth wouldn't do anything to me. I tell myself that everyday for an uncountable amount of time. I know I shouldn't hold something cruel, done by someone else over our relationship. It isn't fair for Seth. But it controls me. It's not easy to get past something like that. I'm actually scared of how much control it has over my life.
But despite everything, I do wanna hang out with Seth.
Everything he said we could do sounds fun. It's all I want. Even the little things he left unsaid. I wanna do them all with Seth.
I smile looking at him and nod. "Okay."
His responding smile is so beautiful. It lights up his entire face.
"Seth!" Mr. James calls for him. Seth lets go of me so quickly and move a few steps away from me. We both look towards Mr. James to see him walking towards us.
"Yes, Sir?"
He eyes me but just ask for Seth to follow him and he turn around to go. Seth follows behind him. Before he turn around a corner, he looks over at me and winks wickedly. I go back to work smiling and happy.
The day goes by after that normally. After work, I decided to go home early.
When I tell Seth that in the parking lot, he looks at me with concern. "Something wrong?"
"No. Just.. There's something I have to get done and I want to do it today, when I made up my mind." I answer.
"What is it?"
"I'll tell you tomorrow, okay?" he nods at that.
"So no Cool Bar tonight?" Now that I'm closer to work, I don't have to worry about getting home late. So we have been going to the cool bar every night and we stay there till it's late as well.
I shake my head. "No. But tomorrow, let's come as real customers."
He beams at me. "Sure!"
He bends down to kiss me. I lean up to find his lips. He puts his arms around my waist as I put mine around his shoulder and hold tight.
We kiss for along time and then when he breaks it, we keep our foreheads touching, catching our breath.
"I love you Hope." He whispers.
My breath catches and I stop breathing. Literally like, stop. I lean back a little to look at his beautiful eyes, searching them for emotion. They are filled with love and hope. He sounds sincere. I've never had anyone look at me like that and say that with so much emotion.
"I love you too." I whisper back.
He tilts his head a little to the side with the corner of his mouth turning up into a smile.
"You know? I read in a book where the guy asks the girl not to say "I love you too" cause it sounds like she is just replying to what he said just cause he said it and not mean it."
I smile a little. "I love you, Seth."
His eyes light up.
"Is that better?" I ask tilting my head to the opposite side as him.
"Perfect." We kiss smiling and we ended up laughing midways kissing.
"Jeez. Get a room." We sprang apart and look towards the voice to see Jake standing close by. My cheeks heat up with embarrassment and Seth scratches the back of his neck, chuckling nervously.
Along with Jake, there's Anna, Jane, Mary, Drew and Jacob.
Mary smacks his head on the bad. "Idiot! They were so cute there. You had to ruin it, didn't you?"
"Ow! They were practically doing it in the middle of the parking lot!" Jake exclaims.
There isn't anyone here other than us but it's weird to hear him say it like that.
"Sorry love birds." Jane says. "Do continue. We will walk away and leave you guys to it.
"Hey no! You girls go. We are going to stay and enjoy the free live porn." Drew, Jake and Jacob high five each other, cheering loudly.
Oh my god!! My cheeks are so hot right now I'm sure I can fry an egg there right now.
"Ew!" Mary scrunch up her nose. "You are not going to watch them!"
Mary grabs Drew while Jane grabs Jake and Anna grabs Jacob and drag them away from us.
"Hey! guys!" Seth screams after them. "You don't have to leave. Come on!"
Mary screams back. "Continue while we give you the chance."
Drew screams next. "Next time, I will be there to watch!"
Jake shows a backwards peace sign and they all disappear behind the corner.
Seth looks over at me.
I smile. "That was so embarrassing."
He comes to me and we hug. "So glad they left us in privacy." And then we are kissing all over again.
Seth begs me to let him come pick me up tomorrow so we agree on that before I got down from his car in my place. We kiss goodnight and I run inside cause I know he won't go until I go into the building.
As soon as I entered my place, I switch on the light strings. All of that combined with the street lights are enough to make my place look lovely. I look around and everything looks really homey. I love this place. I'm really glad I found this.
I take a quick shower and heat up the donuts I had in my fridge that Seth bought for me yesterday. I take them to my bed and lie down, taking the notepad and my phone with me. I search up a page I never thought I would visit again and write down the numbers shown there. I dialed the contact number of the owner of the company and listen to the sound of the tone.
I thought of giving my father a chance. It's been 3 years since I left him and I've felt so much better since I told everything to Seth that I want all of these grudges to get better as well. I wanna be free of all of this.
Who knows? Maybe my dad wants to talk to me. It's not like he can find me searching my name up in google, like how I did with him.
I didn't feel like telling Seth about this today, cause I didn't want it to be made in to a big deal. It would freak me out and I would back away from doing it.
It's about time I make this phone call. And I don't want to have any expectations.
The line is still ringing and just as I'm about to regret my decision, the call gets answered.
"Hello. Evans Car Dealers"
It's been so long since I heard my father's voice. I get a really serious sense of homesickness just hearing it.
"Hello?" He tried again.
"Hi?" I whisper, doubt clear in my voice.
"Who is this?"
I'm almost tempted to say your daughter but then I just go with "Hope."
The other end goes silent. It's completely silent and I give him some time.
"Ho- Hope?" He takes a deep breath. "Is this my Hope? My baby girl? Hopey? Honey?"
Tears come to my eyes and I'm reminded of how my mom called me "Hopey" when I met her at her work place.
"Yea... It's me." I answer.
"Oh my god! Hopey. Oh dear god! It's my baby girl. My sweet little girl. Where- How are you? Oh My baby." His surprised yet happy emotion sounds really honest and pure.
My vision gets blurred as tears spring to my eyes. I swallow to stop myself from crying.
"I'm good, dad."
He lets out a little sob. Although I can hear the happiness in his voice.
"I'm so glad to hear your voice. You have no idea how happy I am right now."
"How are you, dad?" I call him "dad" just cause I know he would love for me to call him that.
"I'm so much better now that you called, my little princess. I thought- I thought I lost you forever."
I can hear the raw emotion of pain in his voice. It breaks my heart.
"Me too." I whisper.
"Hopey, can you come over tomorrow for dinner?" He asks. He sounds a little unsure. "I wanna see you. I still can't believe I'm hearing your voice. I wanna see my baby girl."
I think about my answer a little but finally, I just say, "OK." I wanna see my father as well.
"Is tomorrow okay for you?"
I think about Seth. I'm sure he will understand this. So I nod. Remembering that he can't see me, I reply. "Yea, sure."
"Great!" He sounds so excited. "Send me your address. I'll come pick you up."
"Dad, do you know the Green Globe Supermarket just outside the city?"
"Yea?"
"I'll come there at 6 p.m. That okay?" I ask.
"Yes yes, princess. That's completely okay."
I stay silent not knowing what to say.
"I love you baby girl. I always have."
"I love you too dad."
After ending the call, I wipe away the tears that escaped my lips. What Seth said about telling "I love you too", it'll only be between me and Seth. I don't want to share that with anyone.
I think about how well this phone call went. I know when I met mom for the first time in years, I didn't get well with her. I didn't even start off on good terms. But I was going to forgive her had not she asked me to come work with her. I wanted to patch things up with her. But I don't want to be with a mother who makes a prostitute out of her only living daughter.
My dad sounded genuinely happy to hear from me. I don't know him very well, yes, but I guess tomorrow is the day for that. I hope everything goes out fine. I really want to have good time with my father.
I decided to call on Chelsea to see what's going on.
"Hey girl! It's been a really long time!" Her cheery voice greets me as soon as she answers my call.
"Hey? Are you busy?" I ask. She might have work to do from her college.
"Nah, it can wait." I can hear her closing books. "So what's new?"
"I quit my job in the restaurant." I say.
Her voice grows concern. "What happened?"
I tell her about Veron's mom and everything.
She scoff after I finish explaining. "That bitch. No one likes her. She is there to ruin other people's lives."
"Yea well... It was my life she ruined this time. But I'm actually glad I got away from them completely." I sigh.
"In a way, you got away from us too." Her voice sounds a little sad.
I ask her about college stuff and Umiko.
"Oh! Umiko found a boyfriend. Finally!"
We laugh. Umiko was really picky about boys and she has always been that way since we were in elementary school. Her finding a guy? The guy must be really special to her then.
"Who is that lucky dude?" I ask, smiling.
"He is a biology major. He looks hot! They are such a lovey-dovey couple. It's adorable."
"What about you? Anyone special for you?" I ask.
"Nope. I mess around with guys but none of them captures my heart, you know." She sounds a little sad.
"Don't worry hon. You will find someone who deserves you."
"Hmm Hmm. I hope so, What about you?"
I smile even though she can't see me. "Actually-"
She squeal. "You found someone!!! Tell me all about him!"
I chuckles and tell her about everything. Everything but my past and his. Just the romantic things that we did, like the dates.
"Awwwww! I'm so glad you found someone." She says.
"Me too."
We talk only a few more minutes and then she keeps the phone saying she has to go cause her mom is coming up the stairs and could come in any seconds now. Her mom is rather strict. She has given Chelly a certain time to do her homework and study. I didn't know when that was when I called her today, cause it's been a long time since we talked like normal friends.
I go through my closet and find clothes for tomorrow. I decide to take a small bag with me to go to Seth's place so that I won't have to come back to my place before going on the dinner to my dad's. I pack up everything I may need and then after arranging everything I go to bed.
My phone blinks with a text message.
Seth: Miss you and the ice cream:(
Hope: Me too:(
Seth: Did you finish doing the thing you were going to do?
Hope: Yea. I'll tell you about it tomorrow.
Seth: Okay. I can't wait to see you tomorrow.
Hope: Me too. Let's sleep now? I'm so sleepy. Zzzzzzz
Seth: Oh! You sleepyhead. Okay then. I love you<3
Hope: I love you:))