"They're still the same!"
Luc pounded his fist on the table in frustration. I was very close to doing the same but instead I only managed a sigh. I didn't see the point in wasting the energy for getting mad; it wouldn't solve anything. That's how I felt about everything these days.
My determination had begun to give way to apathy and I could feel my resolve to fight slip away with the hope of a solution. Every day was a failure, and every failure wore me down a little more. And there was a little whisper in my head that would grow a little louder each time, a murmur that urged me to just give up.
The cards were the same—same as the first time we had tried to get a reading since his powers had returned. They only returned the same vague answer every time we laid them out on the table, trying to discern some more information from them. But we had been trying for over a week, several times a day, to no avail. We attempted to coax a different outcome from the cards by approaching each time with slightly different questions... but still the cards wouldn't change. My reading would always be the same. Vague. Unhelpful.
I knew nothing about the deck he relied on to give us insight, but even I was beginning to recognize certain cards—each formation was filled with the strange designs and words that I couldn't read, but I knew I had seen certain ones many times before. I didn't know what was holding us back... was it me? The nature of the cards? Or was it Luc? Was I just stuck in some strange in-between point in my life where the answers just couldn't be clear? Or was Luc's magic still too weak to control the cards properly? Either way, we had to admit to ourselves there was nothing more we could do. We had finally run out of options.
The only way we could improve our odds was to fully regain Luc's powers... and we had no way to restore them without Polly's help, and she didn't look like she was interested in helping us any time soon.
Luc rested his forehead in his palm as he continued to search the cards for answers even though we both knew he would find none. I felt my brow droop in sad frustration. I considered for a moment reaching out to him to comfort him, but resisted. My mood was no better—maybe even worse—than his, and I knew that I didn't have the energy to pretend to be optimistic. Any comforting I would attempt would fall flat. Instead I glanced across the room at the little calendar that hung on the wall.
We had been careful to mark each day off after it had passed, like prisoners carving their time spent into stone walls, tallying their days spent inside. I noticed that it had been exactly one month since Polly and I had botched the binding spell next door. Four weeks since we had faced our most brutal attack yet. 30 days since Luc had to rush in and save us from our mistake. And in that time, we still hadn't gathered any new information that could actually help us. The constant noise of the Beast next door reminded us that we were still hostage to it. Nothing essential had changed about our situation... just the relationships between each other.
I regretted the strain and tension my new relationship with Luc caused between Polly and me, but I couldn't bring myself to regret the relationship itself. I knew that I was probably rushing it, and that this really wasn't the best time... but I had come to truly trust Luc, find comfort in him. I knew that this wasn't the best setting to fall in love, especially because the mere suggestion of a romance between us was what had gotten us into this mess. But as I saw it, we were already serving the time, why not actually do the crime? Why not act on the thing that you had already been damned for?
And it helped that he was the one good thing in my life at the moment. He was the sliver of light in the overwhelming darkness, the thing that could make me smile through all the pain, uncertainty and suffering. I had always been physically attracted to him, since day one. But once I actually got to see the unguarded side of him, I couldn't help but feel that the only mistake I could be making now was not to fall in love with him.
Yes, he had a dark and scarred past. His history with Lillian—and through her, a poor relationship with Polly—wasn't exactly appealing. But he was obviously repentant for the role he had played in the sad end of Lillian's life, even though he wasn't the cause. But you can't change the past of someone, focus on their flaws. I had plenty of my own after all—I was being dogged by a horrible spirit, that endangered anyone I loved. Not exactly a turn-on for anyone. And yet, Luc accepted me too, took me into his home. And we had found each other in our shared disasters.
And if this disaster taught me anything, it was to live in the moment; don't dwell on regrets—the what ifs and could've beens. It's wasted time. You never know when something will pop up and take it all away from you. And I was just thankful to have Luc now, in my darkest hour.
But as Luc and I got closer, Polly drew away. She couldn't forgive me for literally lying with the enemy—as she saw it. She still saw him as responsible, and therefore refused to trust Luc, which meant his powers remained stunted. I couldn't help but grow a little bitter towards her, because part of me believed that her reluctance to trust Luc—even a little—was keeping us from getting a clear reading with the cards, keeping us from figuring this out and stopping it.
Despite her anger towards me and her utter repulsion towards anything Luc was involved in, she was always very careful to keep a watchful eye on our every doing. She was especially vigilant while she watched us as we did our daily readings. She sat on the other side of the room—as far away as she could possibly get—but she would watch us. Her face was always stern, shrewd, careful not to show too much emotion that would indicate approval. But despite her front, I could tell there was something more there; she looked like she was waging some inner battle as she eyed us doing our routine.
"What a surprise," I said at last, my frustration slipping out. I knew my negative mood would do no good in encouraging our search, but my mood was the kind that wanted to poison everything. As I re-examined the infuriatingly familiar spread of cards, I clucked my tongue in disappointment. Like always, certain cards occupied their usual spots. I let a small scream escape through my teeth, before turning my gaze to Luc again. "Is there nothing else we can do?"
Luc shook his head in his hand. I looked at him, and my fouled mood dissipated as my heart broke; he just looked so defeated, almost on the verge of tears. I couldn't blame him; I was too. I knew what he was feeling. It had only been a month and I was already going stir crazy; if I had to spend another here, I felt I might go completely mad. But how long would we have to stay in here? Two months? Six months? A year? Forever?
And there were no options left, I reminded myself. Half of his powers wasn't enough to protect us to leave the apartment to go in search of answers. And maybe they weren't enough to be able to see into the future properly. I could see he felt as helpless as I did, which was a lot. We were at a complete standstill.
That murmur arose in my mind again. It whispered of giving up, urging me to just to walk out that door and face the thing, just so I would do something. The same whisper wondered if that would be enough to satiate the Beast, and that if I died willingly, that it would be satisfied and just leave Polly and Luc alone. But the logical part of me knew that the beast wasn't that discerning—it seemed to simply enjoy killing and wouldn't give up once it got someone's scent—but I hoped that its mysterious master would be—if it truly had a master at all.
A cough snapped me out of my internal conversation. I looked up at Luc first, but he wasn't looking at me. He was looking across the room, at Polly. She had been curled up against the wall, swathed in a blanket, her eyes narrowed and peering over the edge of her cocoon. But now she had stood up from her place on the floor, the blanket jumbled at her feet. She just stood there, looking at us, and the look on her face was cautious.
It was plain to see that same internal battle I had spied earlier still raged on. She opened her mouth a few times to speak, but she would pause and then closed it again. It seemed that she was trying to find the words to say something she wasn't sure she even wanted to say.
"Would..." she managed, finally. "Would it help if you read my cards?"
I felt my mouth fall open as I surveyed her face. Polly's face was showed that she was obviously reluctant to give in and to allow Luc to read the contents of her life, but she must be determined, desperate to do something... like me. But then she looked directly at me... and for a moment and a strange look of sadness and remorse crossed her face. She was doing this for me. My bitterness disappeared, and I tried to force a smile to my face that would be genuine. I was so thankful.
"Uhm," Luc stammered, also taken aback by her sudden volunteering. "It might. We can certainly try."
I leapt out of the chair to allow Polly to sit before she could change her mind and moved to stand beside Luc. Polly cautiously crossed the room, not looking at us and quietly took her seat across from him.
There was a heavy moment of silence while Luc just took in the situation before him. Polly was allowing herself to trust him just a little. Was it enough to return his powers? Or at least enough to work the cards fully?
After not too long he went to work. Just like he did with me, Luc spread out the cards in front of him in the same intricate array. Once all the cards were down, he began to slowly flip the cards over, revealing their faces. I cringed each time a repeat from my usual spread showed up, but there was definitely some diversity; it wasn't exactly the same and that alone was enough to make my heart soar with hope.
Luc raised an eyebrow, confused by the new spread before him. "Huh,"
"What is it?" Polly asked in a hushed toned, her eyes wide and expecting.
"This doesn't make sense," Luc said, picking up a few cards and examining them closer. "This can't be right,"
"What is it?" I repeated Polly's question.
"It says the same thing as Rachel's spread does, except..." he paused, looked to me and before looking at Polly. "It says your blood is your enemy,"
That made no sense me, and it didn't seem to make any to Polly either. "What does that even mean?" she asked, her voice annoyed. I saw in her face that she felt like she had agreed to trust him and he was only feeding her nonsense.
"It means a relative is trying to kill you," Luc said, still looking as confused as ever. Well, that wasn't so far fetched... I wasn't entirely sure about Polly's family structure, but perhaps there was a family member who disproved of Lillian and Luc, and wanted to make them suffer. After all, I've had experience with some less than sound-minded family... and that sounds like something a bitter relative would do.
"Okay, you're right, that doesn't make any sense. You know I don't have any living relatives." Polly said, crushing my theory. "My parents and sister are dead. I never had any aunts or uncles. And my grandparents died before I was born. I'm the only one left."
"Right... Lillian was the last." Luc said quietly. "I went to her funeral. I saw you bury her body."
Polly's eye twitched a little and she said nothing. I felt my eyes widen, my face slacken so that my mouth gaped in suspicious horror. I knew that tic; it meant that she was holding something back. A cold sinking feeling took hold of my insides.
"Polly?" I asked, drawing out the syllables, prodding at her to divulge.
"Not exactly," she murmured. she was staring at her knees, unwilling to face either of us.
"Not exactly what?"
"I didn't exactly bury her."
Luc stared, but his eyes were far away trying to process something in his head. "But I saw you bury her. Did you cremate her?"
Polly shook her head, her eyes now flicking around the room, looking at everything but us, realizing that this might be a critical piece of information. "I buried an empty coffin. There was no body to bury."
I was speechless. A quick glance at Luc told me he was too.
"But she's definitely dead!" Polly said, suddenly defensive. "When she went missing, the detectives said there was too much blood... that there was no way that someone would survive."
I didn't know the specifics of Lillian's demise, and finding this out kind of took the ground out from under me. I didn't know what that meant, but it couldn't be good.
"Not a human, maybe..." Luc said, his voice a whisper, mostly to himself. He ran his hands through his hair in a panic, trying to quickly sort out the muddy details in his head, trying desperately to make sense of this. "But... what if... she—"
A heavy knock at the door made us all jump. As if on cue, we all turned to stare at it. Luc's face was confused; he was obviously not expecting company.
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