'It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me...'
-❦-
Chūya Ending Part 4/4
I never meant to hurt you, Chūya.
That was shown the moment your eyes reflected his same pain.
You still mean a lot to me.
Your thoughts were a promise that was portrayed through every touch you initiated.
Make me need you,
Chūya...
You pushed back a strand of stray ginger hair, leaning in closer to him, your right hand reaching to his and loosening his grip on the door handle, lacing your fingers together.
You take him in, and go over everything that had to happen to place you in these seconds that felt like years. Chūya had always been something to you, different than anyone else, he reminded you of reality, but he reminded you in a way that you knew if you were with him, reality would be ok to handle. Maybe you wouldn't live the happiest in the Port Mafia, but you knew you could live your life to the fullest with Chūya by your side. He didn't make you fear what you were, your ability, it's consequences...and he made you feel like more than all that.
I'm sorry I left...
But there is one thing I want, and I'll always want it...
With his free hand, Chūya caresses your face gently, both his and your eyes never looking away, only focused on each other. Gently holding your head towards him, you let go of his hand and place yours gently on his chest, whispering before you give in.
"Then I only need you to love me."
Chūya looks at you with a look of minor panic and desperation before his gaze softens, and he pulls you in. You loosen up, placing your arms around his neck as you lean into the kiss, your lips connecting like pieces of a puzzle that were meant to find comfort in one another. Pushed against your door, you instinctively reach a hand out to open it, reaching and successfully opening it, the both of you staggering in.
Broken apart only to pause and close the door once again, and Chūya taking off his hat and hanging it on the knob, your bodies come back together in minutes that felt everlasting. Slowly, you take your heavy, black trench coat off revealing your nightgown and open skin. Chūya's own overcoat drops to the ground, his gloves dropping gracefully with it.
With you, he didn't want control.
Every touch felt like a flame being lit, every kiss was sweeter than any reality you could imagine. You wanted to absorb it all, you wanted to never forget.
And you never would.
The night was a long one full of desire, full of passion and lust for one another's presence. Kisses leaving marks on your neck, your collar bone now familiar with the feeling of Chūya's love.
"[f/n]..."
Your name was whispered as he held you like he was afraid of letting go, like the moment he couldn't feel you, you'd disappear and leave him wanting more, never able to catch you again.
In return, you'd assure him over and over that you couldn't leave again...
And with him with you, you didn't want to.
Heavy breathing,
Skin on skin,
Heat that would always trail in the back of your mind, begging to be remembered.
Chūya always made sure you did.
He demanded you did.
From that night on, you were only his. Even when the Port Mafia finally opened up to you and sent you back into the world, your first and last thought was always Chūya. Annabel Lee killed, but you loved and were loved, and you were never sorry for what you had to do to keep it that way.
Fin
-❦-
Dazai Ending Part 4/4
The fun of the day turned into a soft nightfall, stars sprinkled along and fought to be seen in the sky, and the moon already visible, decorating it like a glowing orb. You and Dazai arrive at his home, but due to already have eaten out, all there really was to do was set up your room and find some clothes to borrow in the meantime.
Probably sensing your nervous demeanour upon entering the flat for the second time, Dazai assures you that you'll get your own apartment once you join the agency, so there was no need to worry about overstaying. He also clarifies that he wouldn't mind staying with you as long as possible.
Amused at Dazai's words, you try not to let the doubt of ever joining the agency consume you. You'd seen the way the other members looked at you with distaste and distrust. You understood, of course, but that knowledge didn't help the uneasy feeling being around them gave you. The only two that felt any empathy towards your situation at all, were Kyouka and Dazai because they were both Port Mafia members before as well, so they had a mutual understanding. You shiver remembering everyone else's faces, especially Atsushi's of betrayal.
Realizing Dazai wasn't in the living room, you walk around his flat and in to the familiar extra bedroom, where you see him gently laying out clothing and muttering to himself, turning around to you as soon as you walk in and looking a bit embarrassed to be seen so lost in thought over stupid details.
"I know nothing will fit you...but I chose the most reasonable ensembles for my pretty lady. We can wash what you're wearing now so it'll be clean tomorrow...then we can go shopping for some clothes that do fit. For now though, you can wear any of theses items to bed." Dazai explained, stepping away from the bed and letting you examine his offers.
After teasing that you'd look good despite what you wore, you thank him, and he leaves you to shower and get comfortable. When you're done, you sit on the bed wearing one of Dazai's long shirts, trying to make sure the clothes covered the majority of your scars. You wouldn't admit it out loud, but although they proved your survival, you hated seeing them out in the open.
To you, it was a reminder of the ugliness in you.
Or at least, what you considered ugly that was a part of you.
Deep in thought as you trace all the marks over your showing skin, a light knock is heard at the guest bedroom door. You jump, seeing the doorknob turn slowly. Opening the door when you don't protest, you see Dazai's silhouette appear cautiously at the door archway, his usual coat off, along with his vest and bolo tie. He looked much more casual, serene even in a sense, but more than that, Dazai looked like any other guy you'd find in the city. If you focused on him, you could imagine everything was normal, that you weren't there because you left the mafia, and he was just a normal detective taking you out.
"[f/n]? Are you ok?"
You realize you had instinctively covered what you could where you knew scars were most prominent, and you find yourself red with embarrassment that Dazai had noticed.
I can't show weakness...I can't let Dazai's expectations down...
"Yeah I'm fine...I-"
"They're beautiful" Dazai bursts out, interrupting any other mediocre excuse you were going to come up with.
What?
"Your scars. They're beautiful and nothing to be ashamed of." He repeats softly, walking towards you and sitting next to you on the spare bed.
Dazai pulls your hair back gently and takes your hands in his, leaving your heart beating rapidly, your [e/c] eyes wide and nervous, eyelids fluttering the closer Dazai got.
Damnit [f/n]...where's that confident attitude you were pulling just a few hours ago?
"May I?"
You nod.
Dazai leans forward and kisses your cheek, one of his hands letting go of yours and caressing all the places your insecurities lay, his touch after replaced by kisses.
Where there was a scar visible, he kissed it, and every time he'd look back up at your eyes like he was trying to pass on a message.
"You're beautiful."
"Every flaw you see is just another perfection to me."
"I love them."
"Let me love you."
I can see it so clearly now. I understand.
You pull Dazai on top of you down on the bed, surprising him, surprising even yourself. A small smile appears on his face and he leans down next to your ear before whispering:
"I told you we wouldn't be interrupted next time."
With a new buzz in the room, you run your hands through his chocolate brown hair as your lips come together into a long passionate kiss, his gracefully bandaged hands hold you down with determination.
Every kiss, every movement, everything he did to you felt like shocks of electricity through your whole body.
He loved everything about you,
And you grew to love everything about him.
With many more nights ahead, Dazai never let you deal with anything alone, whether in the agency or not, Dazai did as he promised and showed you the light, and a more beautiful way to live so death was worth it.
The best part of it all for you, was that you got to see the real Osamu Dazai...
And he loved the real you for the rest of his life.
Fin