That night, no matter how tired I was, I still saw that haunting blue eyes in my nightmare. So basically, I only had about 2 hours of sleep.
I went to work the next morning. My heart felt really heavy with worry. I have to spend most of my time with Seth and I'm not sure how things will be between us now. I hope it won't be much awkward.
Saying hello to everyone I pass on my way to the room where I stay, I notice that the lights in Seth's office are turned on. So he is here. I don't know the time he comes to work but seems like he comes rather early. It's only 7'o clock now.
Everyone's getting ready to start working now. There's a lot of cleaning and arranging to do and the cashiers are working with those computers. Everyone's busy doing something. I head over to the little room to find Jacob standing in front of his desk with a file in his hand.
"Good morning Hope."
"Good morning." I tried to make my voice sound a less heavy. But it's still heavy considering how my heart weights tons.
Jacob looks up at me. "You have to work in the veggies section in the morning and in the evening you can come here and do those files." He points at the small stack on files on my desk.
"I don't know what I have to do with these." I say. I did learn yesterday about how to operate the cashier bit nothing about managing the files.
"I'll teach you. But in the morning, Seth will be with you to help you through the veggies."
I look down at the table and say nothing. That only makes Jacob be more concerned. "Is that not okay?"
I shake my head. "No. That's fine." I can't have problems with Seth. I've lost too many people to let him go as well. I can't do that.
"Good. I hate to see you guys like this. Whatever the reason is for what happened last night, don't make that stand in the way of you guys. Seth isn't a bad guy." Jacob pats my shoulder.
"I know." I whisper. We get to work after that.
I leave my bag on the chair in my table and taking a pen out of the pen holder, I go to meet Seth in his office. Reaching the door, I take a deep breath before knocking. I hear a faint "Come in" so I open the door and walk inside.
Seth is sitting on his chair, looking down at a file. His right hand's holding a pen and he is running it through his hair with no pattern and that's making his hair stick out in every direction.
I stay silent until he gets done with his work cause I don't want to disturb him. After awhile, he looks up at me and his hands stop in it's track.
"Hi." He says.
"Hi." My heart is slamming hard inside my chest. It's going nuts.
"Hope." I can see him trying to be serious but with his hair being messy, it's really hard for me to think he is serious. "You have to work in the veggies today. I will guide you."
He takes a file from a drawer and hands me a few papers from inside it. "These are the codes for all the vegetable we have here. Look at these while you work today. You can take these home and remember them, if you want."
I look down at the paper to check the codes but nothing is going to my head now. I notice that Seth gets up from his chair and close the file he was reading, to walk out with me.
I smile despite how awkward the situation is cause his hair looks so funny. I can't let him walk out like that.
I look at him. "Seth?"
He says "Yea?" without looking at me but at his phone.
"Your hair is funny." I can't hide my smile anymore.
"Wha-?" He looks at his hair through his phone. Seeing how messed up his hair is, he burst out laughing.
"I'm so glad you told me that." He tries to make his hair with one hand. "One day, I actually walked out with that messy thing and an old lady asked me if I have a fear of the barber for not cutting my hair."
I burst out laughing. "Oh my god!"
"Oh, it gets better." He keep the phone down after making his hair looks okay again. "I was so confused when she asked me that. Anyways, when I said no, She asks me whether it was cause I fooled around with a girl in the storage room before coming out."
We both started laughing full on. "What did you say?" I ask in between laughs.
"I figured out it was cause of my hair, cause my shirt weren't crumpled or anything. So I just said no and that I forgot to brush my hair. The lady said that she really like the just-had-sex hairstyle of men and winked at me. I ran away from that lady and hid in the office only to come out after she left the store. I spied on her through the security cameras"
We laughed for along time as he said that and made impressions of that lady and her wink. It was hilarious.
Our laughter died and down but we were smiling as we made our way to the vegetable section. I'm so glad to get rid of the awkwardness between us and now, we went almost back to normal.
Almost, not completely. While we got ready and worked, we avoided eye contact most of the time and spoke less than before. Both of us made sure that our hands won't accidentally touch and we were both concerned about where the other one is going as if to avoid being in the way.
It was a little weird but after awhile, it became normal. Customers came smoothly and since it's a week day today, there wasn't many. So, whenever there weren't any customers around, Seth would say different veges for me to type the code in. We practiced like that from time to time. It was fun. We laughed a lot as well. Awkwardness almost at like 15%.
Soon, lunch time came and I grabbed my donut and went to the lunch room. Seth went to his office saying that he has some stuff to take care of.
There was a table with Jake, Jane(The other newbie), Drew and Anna. I sat down next to Drew on the empty chair, after asking for permission to sit.
Conversations go about the morning work and everyone says stories about customers that did something stupid or rude. Drew talks about a hot girl that came to the books aisle. He went over to help thinking that maybe, he would be able to score with her. But turns out, she was looking for a book with the alphabet for her son. She is happily married. Anna laughs mockingly at Drew and he stays scowling.
During that time, I kept silent, answering questions only when I was asked. I don't feel like talking plus, I know they all wonder what happened last night, still.
At one point, Anna asks me. "How are things with Seth?"
They all look at me with concern and I shrug and say "Pretty normal actually."
"I'm so glad you guys worked things out." Jane says and everyone else nods in agreement.
"Hey, Was Seth with you this whole morning?" Drew asks me.
I look at him questioningly and say yes.
"Damn! I went looking for him cause I actually had something that he has to do for me. I couldn't find him so I had to get it done by Jacob. That actually took like extra 15 mins."
"So, what? He didn't have to stay with me this whole time?" I ask.
"No, he didn't. He has his own work to do in the office. Just yesterday, he was telling me how he has a lot of stuff to do. But today he goes with you and stays there with at you."
My cheeks heat up with nervousness.
"I tell you, he has never done that before." Drew shakes his head.
"Did you need him after while?" Anna asks me, raising her eyebrows.
"Well.. No."
After while I got used to the way it has to be done, I didn't really need him. I could have done it on my own. His being there was better but still, I didn't need him.
"See?"
After our break was over, we all go to get back to work. On the way back, Jake falls into steps with me.
"You okay, Marshmellow?" He asks.
I smile at the nickname. "Why Marshmellow?"
He looks at me and smiles. "Cause you are soft."
I raise an eyebrow in question and he rolls his eyes. "You know what I mean. I meant on the inside, genius."
I laugh nervously and he joins me. What made him think that I was soft on the inside, I will never know. I t's not something I can just ask him as well, right?
"So?" He asks referring to the question he asked me earlier.
"I'm good." For the first time, I do feel good.
He nods and we walk the rest of the way silent. I went to work in the files like how Seth told me I have to, cause after lunch break there was a girl working in the weighing machine, I was working in the morning.
Jacob taught me how to do these files and that took up the entire day after that. I didn't see Seth again until the closing time when Seth came to say that he is going to go home early today. I felt along after he left although he wasn't with me even before that. But somehow, I felt a little hollow on the inside.
For some reason, I have grown attached to Seth in a way I can't even understand. I made a lot of new friends here, but Seth seems special. He seems more than friends. But I know that's only in my head. It's not like me and Seth talked about this.
The days go by without anything special happening. I mostly worked in the veggie area cause I love working there. But in the evenings, I spend my time in the room with Jacob, working with files. Apparently, I was switched to working with Jacob and helping him out being his assistant cause there are a lot of cashiers and Jacob needs help with his files.
Seth and I got closer with each day. We would laugh and talk and It was so fun. But sometimes we went the entire day without seeing one another.
We got our uniforms as well. I thought maybe I would have to buy the entire outfit but turns out they give us the shirt and the skirt/trousers for free but we have to buy the shoes. It was pretty fine though. I bought a cheap pair of shoes from a near buy shop on my way back home.
Mr. James is actually a really scary guy, it seems. Cause whenever he comes down from his office upstairs, everyone goes silent and work really hard. No talking or anything. Even Seth goes stiff. I found out that Mr. james is the manager while Seth is an assistant manager and there are about 2 assistant managers here. I don't really know who the other one is. He is in a different section entirely. Or maybe she, I don't know.
One morning after customers start coming in, Seth comes up to me. I was working in the veggies and there was a little girl holding a bag of carrots in her hand.
"Are you free tonight?" I weight the bag of carrots give it back to the little girl before turning to answer his question.
Everyone gets one day off the week free and for me it's tomorrow. So being late tonight, if it's a party like that first day, is actually fine. I don't have to worry about looking like the walking dead tomorrow. We do have to look good so that customers won't be scared off or disgusted. it's actually a requirement here.
"Yea... Sure." I say, answering his question.
"Good. I have to take you somewhere." He smiles.
I smile back politely. He grins at me and walk away, leaving me back on my work.
I know after what happened with Veron, it's not a good idea to trust a guy when he says "I have to take you somewhere." But this isn't Veron, This is Seth. I don't think he would do anything to hurt me.
But then again, I thought the same things about Veron and look how that turned out to be.
I didn't see Veron the last couple of days. In fact I didn't see him since I ran into him, while I was going to post the letters. I am happy for not seeing him but despite everything, a part of me is concerned. He looked really helpless in all of this.
The day after that, was really just a blur. I was really nervous and scared so, with each passing second my nervousness grows. I have no idea whether agreeing to go with Seth was a good idea or not. But after that night where I embarrassed him completely in front of everyone, I can't do that to him again.
I wonder where he is going to take me. Scared as I am, gotta say, I am a little excited as well. curious too.
After work and everything's cleaned, Seth comes up to me and drags me out of there, before I could say good night to anyone. He look really happy and excited that I swore to myself that I will not ruin tonight if it's not something crazy.
We walk for a while, none of us saying anything. It's a little awkward but I just kept my mouth shut. I think about how Veron and Seth both have blue eyes. Even if it's the same color, it's two different shades. Veron's are more blue, like ocean blue. But Seth's are greenish blue. Honestly though, Seth's eyes are more magical looking that Veron's.
After we cross a small side road, I notice that there is a guy leaning against a shop and that Seth is walking towards him. His face is covered from a hood and for a while I'm reminded of how I saw Veron with the hood. A part of me says it's Veron and to run away from there, while the other part wants to stay and trust Seth. I chose the latter part.
Seth greets the guy and they shake hands. The guy gives Seth a key and walk away but turn before taking a corner. "Break anything in there, I'll break you." It was filled with sarcasm. Seth just laughs.
The man disappears after that leaving me and Seth alone there.
He looks at me and grins before opening the door. "You ready?"
I look up at the sign and it reads "The Cool Bar". A smile forms up on my face and I walk inside passing Seth, who is watching me for my reaction.
"Hope you like ice cream." He says as he walks in and closes the door.
I turn to look at him. "Who doesn't?"
He switches on the lights and the place lights up.
"No." It looked better with the lights off. "Turn them off."
He smiles but does as I said.
He goes behind the counter and turn on the machines. Grabbing a cone with a chocolate coating, he looks at me with a smirk.
"What can I get you, miss?"
I smile and look up at the board with the flavors. There's so many but I chose the one I've always liked ever since I was little,
"I'll have a vanilla chocolate chip cookies please." I sit up straight like a proper lady with my chin held high and my hands together in front of me.
"Coming right up." He puts the ice creams neatly in the cone. He makes it a little higher than normal and covering the cone with a tissue, hand it over to me. He takes a chocolate ice cream and comes around the counter.
"Where do you want to sit?"
I look at the tables. But instead of going to one of them, I hop on to the counter in front of the chairs.
Seth smiles at me proudly and comes to sit next to me. It's dark here with only the street lights lighting up the place. It's just the way I like it.
Sitting up on the counter, eating ice cream in the eerily quiet, semi dark ice cream shop with Seth is just the perfect evening I can ever hope to have.
"You know?" Seth begins after a while. He is looking at the street. "I used to hate ice cream." I look at him surprised and he smiles but continues explaining.
"It's cold and that numbed my teeth every time I tried to eat it. So it pissed me off. But I like ice cream. I went to meet a dentist as well and he gave me meds but none of them worked. So I stopped eating ice cream. And because I couldn't eat it, I started to hate it. So, when everyone ate ice cream, I stayed without having even a bite. My mom was upset with that that one day, she gave me ice cream that was microwaved. I ate that fine, actually drank it. It was chocolate flavored and it was yummy. So, everyday after that, she would give me ice cream microwaved but what I didn't know was that she made the time she microwaved less with each day. My teeth got used to the cold cause it was a little, each day. After about 2 weeks, She gave me ice cream without melting it and I didn't feel the numbness in my teeth. I was really happy that I hugged my mom so hard. I remember her happy laugh so vividly even now. She made dad buy me an entire carton of ice cream and I finished that in one day. Ever since then, ice cream has been my favorite."
He looks over at me. I keep looking at the streets cause my eyes are filled with tears. That's how moms are suppose to be. They shouldn't give up on their children.
I blink rapidly to get away the tears.
"You got pissed because it made your teeth numb?" I ask him, smiling.
He chuckles. "Weird, right?"
I laugh. "Oh, yea."
I look at him to see that his face has lightened up with happiness. "You mom's great."
"Yea.. She was. She was amazing. Good, caring, loving. She was everything I ever wanted her to be. She never gave up on me, her or anyone. Always tried to get what she wants. She was encouraging. She made us all so happy." He's really proud of his mom. I noticed the sad edge to his voice and asked what caught my attention.
"Was...?" I whisper.
"Hmm... She passed away 6 years ago. Cancer."
We stayed silent for awhile. 6 years ago, Hannah passed away and in someway, I lost my mom as well.
"Hope." He whispers and I look over at him. "Why are you crying?"
I touch my cheek and it's wet. I didn't even realize that I was crying.
I haven't told anyone about anything that happened in my life. Not even Chelsea or Umiko, my best friends since we were small. I couldn't make myself live through all of that to tell that story but something about Seth and this moment makes me want to just spill everything and get it off my chest.
So, I take in a deep breath and start. "6 years ago." My vision blurs as my eyes are filed with tears.
"I lost my sister."