Nicki
I paced around the room as I tried to maintain my composure talking with a social worker over the phone. I had not given up on my baby brother and I don't plan to do so at all.
"Ma'am I'm telling you we have nobody under that name registered in the system." I could sense the frustration in her voice as well.
In the midst of the phone call Beyoncé had found her way around my waist softly pecking my neck. Pulling the phone away from my ear I slightly pushing her back.
"Baby not now please." I pecked her cheek walking out of the bedroom.
"Ma'am I just—how could my brother completely disappear off the face of the Earth. He's only 17 right now I don't understand."
She sighed before speaking. "Maybe he's moved outside of the country."
"Ok, thank you for being patient with me I've been looking for him for so long." I placed myself in the love seat located in my living room.
"I hope everything works out for you." She genuinely spoke.
"Yeah me too, you have a good one."
I sat back into the couch cushion rubbing at my temples so many thoughts ran through my head. He's only 17 he couldn't have gotten that far. Micaiah Maraj could not be dead, I would never forgive myself for not trying hard enough.
"Calm down mama, I'll help you find him if you let me I promise." Beyoncé sat beside me resting her head against my cheek while she caressed my thigh.
"Baby I can't put this off on you, I won't put this off on you." Playing with her fingers as I tried my best to hold back any tears threatening to fall.
She got quiet for a bit before letting me go. "Something is up with you."
My eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. "What are you talking about?"
"You've been guarding yourself from me every since yesterday it's like you're not affectionate with me anymore or when I try to be affectionate to you—you completely shut me out. It feels like we're at square one again."
I knew now was the time to tell her that Safaree had called up to my job. My actions were beginning to affect our relationship and that's the last thing I wanted.
"My ex called up to my job yesterday..... h-he didn't really say much it's just the sound of his voice made me think back to that relationship. It's been fucking with my mind every since yesterday."
"The way he used to make me feel so weak and useless. He beat me every second he got to for any little thing and I just promised myself that I would never let my guard down again."
My words trembled as a knot sat in the middle of my throat, a headache was coming on simply from holding back my tears.
"You don't have to worry about that if you're with me trust me Nicki."
Blue came down from her room plopping her little body in Beyoncé's lap.
"Monsters under my bed mommy." She whined shoving her face into Beyoncé's chest all while putting herself back to sleep.
"You want mommy to beat those monsters up for you baby? I'll do it." Beyoncé spoke softly walking them both back up the stairs.
Giving the two some privacy I grabbed my phone deciding to scroll through Instagram. I came across a picture of Bey and her trainer both showing off their abs.
NickiManaj: fine ass 😩💜
Badgalriri: I hit it first 🤣
I had to turn down the TV just to make sure I saw exactly what the fuck I think I saw. No this bitch didn't come on MY baby's page and publicly disrespect me.
"Giselle you better check your bitch." I told her once she came back downstairs.
"What are you fussing about?" She plopped down on the couch taking my phone to see what I was looking at.
"Oh lord." She sighed.
Crossing my arms I held my hand out for my phone back. "If I have to check that bitch I will."
"No what you need to do is relax, I'll tell her to delete it. I really need y'all to keep a positive environment for Blue."
"I will try my best to get along with her just for the sake of Blue but let that bitch know—I am not the fucking one." My voice became stern as I got closer to Beyoncé's face.
"It's handled baby I promise." She reassured me resting her hands on my waist.
"Yeah check that bitch before I do." I pushed Beyoncé back as she tried to reach for my arm.
"Look I get that you're mad and yes what she said was very out of pocket and disrespectful but that's still my daughter's Mother and I won't have you disrespecting her while our child is in the house."
Yes it stung a little to hear her vouch for the woman that had just publicly disrespected me but I was also mature enough to be understanding of her argument. Robyn was indeed Blue's mother and the last thing I wanted her to hear was me yapping my mouth about her mother. I never wanted to be that kind of girlfriend at all.
"Ok I do apologize for my words but like I've stated before I won't tolerate disrespect." Simply walking away I grabbed my car keys and headed for the front door.
It was going on twelve in the morning but I needed to get out of this house so I called Lauren and told her I was on the way and to have a blunt prepared for the two of us to share.
Smoking weed used to be an extreme hobby of mine when I didn't have so many responsibilities but now that I do I can't walk around high every day, no judgment to the ones that do though. Life sometimes just gets the best of you.
Shutting and locking my car door behind me Lauren greeted me outside in a plush robe holding a glass of wine in her hand. Knowing her she had probably just got finished getting her back blown out at this time of night.
"Hey boo, you good?" She asked pulling me into a hug.
Stepping inside the door I kicked my slides off and let out a sigh. "I know you saw Beyoncé's post, her dumb ass baby mama really tried me like I won't kill her."
She whistled at my hostility before passing me her wine glass. "You probably need that more than I do right now."
Downing the rest of the wine in her glass I took a seat in the recliner where she had a blanket placed at. "Let me go see what you talking about."
After a minute of silence and her searching up Beyoncé's Instagram I heard her cuss under her breath. "Oh hell no this bitch crossed the line, help me find her address." She began to pull out her laptop but I stopped her before she went any further.
"We can't do anything to her she has a beautiful baby girl looking up to her." I admitted even though I truly did want to hurt her ass.
"Bitch I can't handle that baby mama shit. Speaking of babies though I think Wayne wants me to get pregnant." She lit up the blunt and pulled from it twice before passing it to me.
"You should give him a baby El he's good with them." I confessed.
"No ma'am ain't no baby coming from this good ole tight and secured pussy. I'd like to keep it that way."
Feeling my body relax as I hit the blunt a few times I chuckled at her foul mouth. "I'll give y'all a few months. Speaking of where is Wayne?"
"Heading over Beyoncé's house as we speak chile. Every time me and him get to arguing he go running to her like she gone beat my ass or something." She put a strong mug on her face.
"Don't be talking about my baby, even though I don't like her ass right now. Did I tell you how hard Wayne tripped when he first saw me and Bey together?" I laughed replaying the moment in my head.
"Girl he came home fussing at me about that I'm like well shit. 'Cook think her little ass is grown'."
I smacked my lips along with an eye roll. "When is he going to realize that I am a grown ass woman and that Beyoncé fucks the shit out of me faithfully."
"He would kill your ass if he heard you say that."
She turned on a movie for us after we finished off the blunt and came over to the recliner to cuddle with me. My phone rang in my lap making the both of us jump a little bit.
"Uh oh baby mama calling." She mumbled.
It was indeed Beyoncé calling my phone for the third time since I left the house.
As soon as I answered she began taking her anger out on me. "Where the fuck are you!"
"First of all you better lower your gotdamn tone Giselle I'm not fucking playing with you." I warned her and walked off towards Lauren's bathroom.
"You with somebody else?" Her tone deepened and I knew she was seconds away from threatening me again.
"No I'm with Lauren, shouldn't you be with Wayne. Give me some time to myself." I didn't mean for the last part to come out but since I was high it was hard for me to contain my thoughts.
"You have an hour to get back to this fucking house and I mean it."
I laughed, "Or what Beyoncé."
"You heard what I said, 1 hour." She hung up.
I looked down at my phone in disbelief, she got something coming if she thought I was going to allow her to talk to me like she lost her damn mind.
"El I'm going to go, Bey is acting a damn fool." Grabbing my car keys I slipped my jacket on and walked towards the front door with her trailing behind me.
"You call me for anything Nicki and I mean anything."
I knew what she meant, she'd tell me the same thing anytime Safaree got upset like that.
"She's not like that Lauren at least I hope she isn't but I will." I kissed her forehead and made my way out into her driveway.
Beyoncé
As Nicki came through the door I stood up in the living room pacing around. Wayne was sitting down behind me telling me to calm down but something was just telling me that she was doing something she had no business doing.
"Where were you?" I asked as I watched her sit her purse down on the couch chair.
She scoffed, "I don't know what's gotten into you but you won't treat me like he did ok? I've been through enough of that I refuse to allow it again."
My anger was getting the best of me it was to the point where I just couldn't calm myself down. Anger management was something that I continuously had to go through as a child and I was ashamed to say I still needed it as an adult.
"BK go upstairs and cool off man before you do some shit you gone regret." Wayne spoke.
"Oh what you gone hit me?" Nicki stood up coming closer towards me.
I knew I wouldn't hit her but my body portrayed that image as my fists clamped together and my chest heaved up and down.
Count to ten Bey, count to ten.
"Come upstairs with me." I told Nicki after I got myself to relax a bit.
I went to grab her hand but it's almost like she flinched away from me. "I can walk myself."
Once we made it to the bedroom I closed the door behind me and went to sit at the edge of the bed, Nicki stayed placed against the door.
"You planning on beating me to the death? That's why you took me up here?" She questioned.
It broke my heart to see the amount of fear that she held in her eyes it made me soften up. I've noticed that she had faint scars on her thighs and in the middle of her stomach.
"Huh? You want to beat me just like he did don't you? I can hear it in your voice Beyoncé." Looking up at her, her entire body trembled as tears ran down her face.
As I stood up she stiffened, she was like a deer caught in headlights. "Please don't hurt me." She whispered.
This wasn't Nicki, Nicki was in there somewhere but as I looked into her eyes her mind looked like it was somewhere else. Softly grabbing both of her arms I called her name but she refused to look up at me.
"Safaree I didn't mean it I-I won't do it again." She mumbled her body was literally vibrating in my hands.
"NICKI!" I yelled making her snap out of whatever trance she was stuck in.
"Oh God I'm so stupid." She placed her palm in the middle of her forehead pacing herself around the room.
"Baby what's going on with you?"
She turned to me and sighed dropping her hands on both sides of her. "I wasn't supposed to let you see me like that."
Walking closer to her I slowly walked the both of us to my bed laying her down on her back. "I want see the purest form of you I want to know everything about you and I don't want you to feel ashamed about it. You have to let this guard down Nicki before we even try to further our relationship. Of course I have some things to work on as well but I want you to get better ok?" Staring into her brown eyes I could tell there was a lost girl still trying to figure it all out.
She nodded her head. "Thank you."
I allowed the both of us to sit up.
"I want to start with my childhood, as a kid I've always craved that love and affection that I saw all the other kids around me get on a daily. Even if it was something as simple as having their lunch packed with a cute note from their mom I admired it. My mom and dad were such junkies that they rarely ever paid attention to me and my brother so I had to make money for us." She paused looking down into her lap.
"Don't be ashamed baby I'm not here to judge I promise." I reassured her grabbing her small hand in mine.
"I sold my body for money starting at age 12 when I hit puberty. That's when guys began to notice me, when I began growing hips and all of the above. I'd let them do whatever they pleased just so I could feed my little brother. Often times my parents stole my profit to tend to their high for the day and left us both hungry until I made us more money."
"On the night of their anniversary I found them both passed out in their bedroom after knocking on their door for thirty minutes straight I had finally decided to pick the lock but I still to this day regret doing that. The image still haunts me and always did as a kid."
"They were confirmed dead the next hour or so and my brother and I were sent off to different foster homes after my other immediate family refused to take us in, they thought we were crack babies and would end up just like our parents. When I turned 16 I ran away from that foster home and well I got introduced to the strip club."
"That's where I met Wayne and he was completely disgusted with the fact that they allowed someone so young to be working in that type of environment. He made me quit that night and took me in under his wing with not one complaint."
"Safaree came into my life when I was 17 I've been putting up with him since I was 24. So yeah it hasn't been that long ago since I stopped dealing with him. He's done some things to me that I don't think I can come back from."
She got quiet letting me know that she was done talking. "I want you to know—." Pulling her on to my lap I gently held her chin in my hand. "That I got you no matter what. Don't let my anger issues run you away, I'd never hit you."
Wayne knocked on our door telling us that he was heading out so Nicki and I decided to get some sleep to blow off some steam.
Next Day• Nicki
Baby stood behind me in the mirror feeling and groping on me as I touched up my hair for our outing in a few minutes. She chose a more laid back classy fit but she looked damn good.
Beyoncé's outfit
Suddenly she drew her hand back delivering a wave of pain to the surface of my ass making my curling iron get my ear.
"Giselleeeee." I yelled.
"When we get back you gone be screaming my name just like that baby." She pushed up against my behind grabbing one of my breasts from inside my dress.
Dinner
The waitress served us our meals just in time for me to come back from the restroom, I caught her flashing the top of her firm breast at Beyoncé. I shot her daring eyes just waiting for her to look up at them, I would be giving her an ear full by the end of the night.
"Ma'am can I have a lemon for my tea?" I asked just so she could get away from our table.
"Yes ma'am I'll bring those right out for you."
"Can't even eat in peace." I spoke bitterly as I cut into my steak.
The idea of anybody even looking at my baby enraged me but at the end of the day I was the one tasting every drop of her cu-
"I talked to Wayne about your brother." She told me looking up at me with a look of hesitation on her face.
"Baby I wanted to leave Wayne out of this, he's always been there to solve all of my problems I just want to do this one on my own. Please."
"Nick I understand where you're coming from and I understand you like to be independent and do shit for yourself but just let us help you alright? I don't want it to get too long before you guys get to meet each other." She finished as she picked up her glass.
"Fine I'll let y'all help me."
Her face spread into a smile and she leaned over the table to double peck my lips. "I won't let you down."
•••••
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