His blue eyes looks haunting when he stare at me, like he is doing right now. He looks depressed. With his eye bags, messed up hair and crumbled up clothes. No one who would see him like this, wouldn't think he own a BMW Z4. He is dressed in just casual jeans and a T-shirt, sleeplessness clouding all of his features.
We both just stood there looking at each other, not saying anything.
Oh! I'm not looking at him cause he looks hot or anything just cause he looks so beaten up. It's kinda sad.
Finally, he breaks the silence. "You got fired."
That was what this was all about. He first pretended like we just met coincidentally, but we both know he doesn't have any other reason to come into this neighborhood. I mean, no rich guy would even know this place exists.
Maybe he was just caught off guard cause I ran into him instead of him coming up to me.
He said that more like a statement than a question, that I don't say anything to that.
"It was my mom right?"
"Yes." I know that he knows the answer to that but I answer him anyways.
"Yea, she came home last night saying that she is so happy to because she fired that bitch's ass outta there." I look at him, raising my eyebrow in question. He shrugs. "What? Those were my mom's exact words."
"Technically, I resigned before she could fire me. But hey! whatever floats her boat, right?" I resigned just because I didn't want to be fired.
It really doesn't make much difference if she lied that she fired me or not. I don't think I care much about any of that now.
He smiles sheepishly at me and I smile back at him. I never thought I would talk to him like this. Like two friends who met after along time. Awkwardness clearly stands between us right now.
"Hope, how are you going to live now that you don't have a job?"
I look at him. It's not like I will be homeless and living in the streets, just cause I don't have a job now. I mean... I didn't spend much money even before when I had a job, so I have a lot of money saved up. It's enough to live a month maybe. But I know why he is asking me all that, I know what's going to come next. If he think that I will cry on his shoulder, saying that I don't have any money, he is so wrong.
I can see that he is waiting for a reply so I just go with "I can."
"Well.. Hope. I know you are going to say no but at least hear me out, please. My dad gave me the guest house right outside of our house. A little far from the main house so you won't have any problem with our mother. It's in the middle of this huge garden and there isn't anyone around there so we can live on our own. We will have that entire place to ourselves. It will surely piss my mom off, but only if she found out that is. We don't have to tell her anything. I can tell Sam about this but no one else. So no one will bother you. And I could come up with something to take all of Ronica stuff off of my back. If we could just get pregnant..." He rambles on about everything that we could do if we live together. He looks like a little kid who is playing with his favorite toy. So full of excitement and expectation.
But in this case, the toy is me.
I was just looking at him when suddenly, he stopped rambling long enough to say, "You're not even listening to me are you?"
"Nah. You lost me when you said "pregnant"." I shrug.
He sighs. I feel bad for him but I can't do anything about it.
"I thought we are okay now. I mean.. I know there's so much we should probably work out between ourselves, sure, but I thought this was a start. We finally had a conversation where no one was yelling." He looks at me, eyes filled with hope.
"You do realize that this is after like a month of our first meeting, right?"
"What does that has to do with anything?"
I lower my voice to nearly a whisper. "It took us a month to have a normal conversation, Veron. And during that time you raped me even."
"No, Hope please. Give us some time. I know what I did was so wrong but just, give me a chance to make it up to you. Please. Move in with me. Who knows? Maybe we could have an amazing future. You just have to give me a chance."
"I can't." He stops moving and just stare at me. I swallow a lump that's forming in my throat. "I won't move in with you."
He doesn't say anything for awhile and I give him sometime anyway.
Finally, he asks. "Why not?"
"Because!" I start rather loudly so I just lower my voice a little and start again. "Because, I can't be used, Veron. I'm not some lost puppy that wants you to pick me up and use me to get what you want. I can't do that to myself. I just can't."
He looks hurt and defeated. I really don't understand him. At one point he's all like "I don't like you, I never did." And then the next he is like "I love you, please move in with me." He is so confusing.
"I'm not using you." He said that in a whisper that I barely heard it.
"You don't even love me enough to live with me, Veron. All you want me, is for those Ronica stuff. I'm sorry but I can't help you."
"I do love you." He whispers. He is staring at the ground avoiding my eyes.
I mentally groan but I don't say anything out loud.
Veron looks as me , his eyes full of hope. "If- If I didn't... If that night didn't happen, would you have said yes to me now?"
I think about this for a moment and slowly nod. "Yea, probably." He closes his eyes in obvious pain. "But that would be wrong. You don't love me, Veron. Just accept that."
We stay that way for awhile with none of us speaking. He looks so distance right now. I feel bad for him but there's nothing I can do.
He quickly recovers from whatever state he was in by shaking his head and snapping himself out of it. He looks at me. "Yes."
I look at him questioningly and he continues. "No.. I mean, I want to live with you."
I shake my head side to side and take a few steps away from him, backing up towards my apartment. "No."
"Yes. I do want to, Hope." He starts to come towards me but I held up my hands to stop him from moving any further and he obeys.
"Hope..."
"No Veron. Just no." I turn around and walk towards my apartment, a little hurriedly.
Right as I'm about to go through the door, I hear him say, "I'll give you some time to think about it then. Please think about it." He sounded desperate.
I look at him right in the eyes and shake my head. "Not again." and I just ran up to my apartment and close the door after me and lock it.
I lean against the door and just stand there for sometime. One thing's for sure. Even if I find a job far from here, as love as I live here, in this apartment, he'll never let me be alone.
So today instead of going to the post office, I change my clothes and start to clean my bathroom. I found out through my past experiences that scrubbing the floor is an excellent time to think about stuff. So that's what I'm doing right now.
If Veron hadn't done what he did to me that night, the offer he made today would have sounded really romantic. I mean... Living in a place, just the two of us with no one around to bother or make a noice, sounds so dreamy. I would have loved to hear something like that like an year ago when I had my crush for Veron so strongly. Things would have been completely different if he made different decisions. But this is where we are now. He made the wrong decision and everything messed up for both of us.
Plus, it's not like I always get what I want to have. I don't get dreamy guest houses to live in. I just get crappy jobs and crappy apartments and rich guys raping me to get what they want.
Though, I feel bad for Veron. He must really hate Ronica if he goes through all of this, just to not marry her. I mean, why can't his parents understand and accept his dislike towards this marriage and let him be with whoever he wants to be with? It isn't their life. It's his. He should be with whoever he wants to be with. Plus, who even does promised-marriages now? But, I think Veron doesn't get a say in all this, considering how devilish his mom is.
He maybe rich but he is not happy. Far from it, actually. This is a good example that money along cannot buy happiness.
After cleaning the bathroom to be spotless, I take a quick shower and take a book to read in bed. This book was actually given to me by my father when I was young. It's not a kids book but more like young adult so I couldn't read it until I was like 14. It's not that I couldn't but that I wasn't allowed to. Even as I read it, I didn't understand some words. But when I asked my dad for meaning, he just said you will know when you're older.
I later found out that this book had a lot of stuff related to sex.
Why my father gave me this book when I was that young, I'll never know.
I've actually read this book like thousands of times now. It's about a young girl and a boy who falls in love in an unexpected meeting. But they can't be together cause of family problems and they break up. But soon after, they realize that they cannot be without each other. So they just get together and face every problem that comes their way. Finally, it ends with them being happy forever.
This book gave me dreams about future. I didn't wish for a future exactly like the book but my dreams were so close to this. I knew I would have problems. It's obvious, I mean.. Who doesn't have problems. I just thought that, by the time I would have grown up hardships, I would have someone to face them with.
Well.. My life is coming out to be nothing like I ever even Imagines it would be.
I wonder what my mom's doing now. The last time I saw her, she had a bag in her hand, with tears streaming down her face. She disappeared down the road and I never even heard from her after that.
I always wondered where she went. I looked for her everywhere a 15 year old could look. After a few months of looking for her, I eventually gave up and made my peace with the fact that she left me for good. I was never mad at her for leaving. I was somewhat glad even. I guess I was just disappointed.
My dad might still be home. Who knows? I didn't check on him since I left home. I don't want to see him anytime soon either but the thought to go home and check up on him, crossed my mind several time in the last 3 years. But I didn't act on it. I don't think I could go back to that place just yet.
We were once a happy family. All 4 of us lived together so well. Our house was filled with shouts of joy and laughter all the time until one day it all just ceased to exist. That's when all hell broke lose and we went on our own different ways.
That evening after a quick nap, I take the letter to go post them. Thankfully, I didn't meet Veron so I finished all my work and bought stuff to my place as well and just locked the door.
~~*~~
Days went by with no reply to my letters. I didn't take even one step outside of my building. I only left my apartment when I had to take out the trash and that was it. Well.. It's not like I have places to go.
I don't.
I wake up one morning to sound of my phone ringing. I groan and squeeze the sleep out of my eyes before I answer the unknown number.
"Good morning!"
Wow! That person is chirpy.
"Good morning." I try to sound as much cheerful as I can but even that came out like depressed.
The caller lowered down the cheerfulness a little and I was really glad about that. That type of excitement is so hard to bare this early in the morning. I check the time and it's actually 6.30 a.m.
He called to tell me that I got an interview in a place called "The Restaurant Divine". They can interview whenever I can come there and since I simply have nothing else to do today, I made plans to go there this afternoon!
After the call ended, I do a little victory dance around the bed and rush to the bathroom to get ready. But since it's a little to early to get ready I come out to drink a cup of coffee. I was so excited to go out that I forgot the interview is this afternoon. So I don't have to get ready just yet. Being home all day long with literally nothing to do, is exasperating. Plus, I need to start earning money again so this is pretty exciting. I go to get ready anyway.
Speaking of money, I wonder how Veron's doing. He hasn't disturbed me, the last couple of days. I really hope he isn't standing outside just spying on me through my windows or something.
He wasn't outside anywhere that I could see. I checked my surrounding for any sign of him as I stepped out of my building to get to this job interview. Him, not being here could be a good thing and a bad thing. He has a history of following me around without me knowing about it, he did it already a couple of times. I really hope he wouldn't follow me today.
I can't deal with him knowing about my new job as well. His mom would come waving off money and would buy that place for an unreasonable price, and I would have to quit all over again, from there as well.
Today, I actually took some extra time to get dressed. My mom taught me that first impressions matter a lot and I wanna leave a good impression so that they would hire me. So, I decided to wear the frock I wore on my date with Veron. It's a little crumpled but since I don't own an iron, I have to make this do. I add a little makeup to make my face look a little life like. I trap my curls in a lose ponytail. Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I look frail and despite the makeup, pale. I don't apply more makeup on cause it won't be of any help.
I know this dress is a little short but this is the only thing I have that I'm even a little bit comfortable about wearing to an interview. I hope this doesn't attract any unwanted attention.
I take the subway to reach the restaurant but the closer I am to the restaurant, the more scared I get. I've never traveled to this area before so I don't really know the roads or the neighborhood. Getting out the sub and walking in the directions the caller gave me, I find myself walking in a gloomy and a dirty area. There are people here and there, and all of them have tattoos or piercing on them. They were smoking and while I was passing them, and they all looked at me like a lion looking at it's prey. I avoid getting any closer to anyone and after awhile of walking, I started to hurry my steps to reach the restaurant quickly. I can't think about what the restaurant would actually be like right now or I would have a panic attack.
In a junction, I see a group of people smoking and gambling, right out in the open without a single care of being caught by the police. Gambling is prohibited by law, right? I make a right turn from over there. But while I was passing them, they turn to look at me and I can see them undressing me with their lust filled eyes.
I think I know what my answer would be to this job, even before I reach the place. Since I came all this was, I thought I would at least take a look around but as soon as I saw it, my answer got confirmed.
It looks dirtier than normal and the outside is painted in a dark grey color. There's a neon sign hanging overhead that says "The Restaurant DIVINE." and in smaller letters "Open 24/7".
Oh! I have a dreadful feeling about what they do at night.
I walk towards it even if my mind says "Run for your life!"
Taking a deep, deep, deep breath, I walk in the door.
The inside looks a little like in the country side, with all the wooden tables and chairs and the wooden counters. There are pictures from the 1960s just hanging on the wall. There are actually some customers having their lunch and some are having beer by the counter.
I walk towards the counter and take a seat in one of the tall stools.
"Having a rough day? Whatcha wanna drink?" A guy with so many tattoos and piercings asks me from behind the counter. His hair is dyed in a bright purple and I notice that his nail are red colored. He looks oddly terrifying.
I swallow hard to wet my dry throat. "Uh.. I came to meet Mr.Dave for my job interview." I explain.
He leans a little back smirking, as he takes me all in from head to toe. I try to hide myself from his gaze, but that didn't do any good. After checking me out, I can see a smile forming on his face.
He then points a finger at a closed door. "Just in there chicki."
I thank him and make my way towards the door. As I get closer, I see that it has a sign that says "The Manager". I knock softly.
"Come in!"
I open the door and walk into to find a man, who is about mid 30's, behind the table, staring at his phone. He is wearing a suit, completely with a tie and white shirt and everything. His coat is behind him, hanging on on his chair. Looking at him, Wow! He is hot!
He looks up at me from his phone and gives me a dazzling smile. He even has dimples!
"Hope, right?" I nod. His voice is masculine, manly and professional.
"Take a seat."
I don't know why I'm this nervous. I wasn't nervous before about this. I think its cause he is too hot for me to bear.
"So, Hope. Tell me about your qualification." He asks me. I focus my attention on this interview instead of his shinning grey eyes.
"I worked at a restaurant for over 3 years before. I can do cleaning or waitressing. But there, I mostly did cleaning stuff in the kitchen over there." I swallow out of nervousness.
"Cleaning?" He raises an eyebrow at me. "Now, why would a pretty girl like you be doing a cleaning job?"
My cheeks blaze up just by hearing him say that I'm pretty.
I smile sheepishly and give a little shrug.
"So what happened to that other job?" He grabs a file with my name on it in block capitals.
"It's actually personal matters. Nothing to do with my work or that place." I explain. I hope he doesn't take it the wrong way.
"Okay." He ponders on what I said for while. "Okay. So, do you want me to tell you what you'll be doing and how your daily routines would go or do you have any idea about it?"
I shake my head. "No, sir. I don't."
He laughs and I'm sitting there looking like an idiot thinking what the hell was so funny. Finally, he says, "You don't have to call me sir. Dave, please."
He winks at me and I just give him a smile, trying hard to hide my blush.
"Okay! I'll explain then." He check the time but go on. "So, 8 a.m, we start serving breakfast. I was hoping you could be a waitress. Breakfast and then lunch goes until 4 p.m. and then we serve tea with some cakes and bread things. At 6 p.m, we start our dinner and bar. You are required to waitress at dinner time as well. Since this goes all night long, we actually have a special service. Now, this is something that only customers know because we like to keep it a secret. Cause otherwise people would start calling this a whorehouse or something." He laughs a little but I'm more horrified of what's going to come next that I just listen carefully. "After a few drinks some customers get little uh.. how to say this? Aroused? And as a waitress, if a customer asks you for that service, it is required of you to provide it." He stops as if to see what my reaction is towards that. Even if I tried to control it, I take a sharp intake of breath but doesn't say anything. Is this even legal?
I'm sure he noticed my discomfort but he goes as if he didn't.
"There are couple of rooms back there, so you will have privacy. But you won't be able to lock the door cause I have to come and check every now and then, to see if they aren't hurting my waitresses. Can't have anything going wrong now, right?" He shrugs.
Oh My God! This whole thing sounds so crazy.
He keeps on going. "The night time club ends at 6 a.m. and then there's 2 hours to clean the place to start getting ready for the next day.
"Your shifts would start at 6 a.m. and ends the next day morning at 6 a.m. But then you have to come back the same day at 6 p.m. and work until the next day 6 p.m. Those two goes one after the other. I hope you can understand what I'm saying." He smiles a little.
I can understand but, I can't believe any of this. I just nod and not say anything.
All of this is hard work. You have to work for 24 hours and then you get a 6 hours break. Plus, I have to stay awake as well. Also, the payment is less than I can consider. It's so much less than what I got in Martine's. I'm not even gonna talk about what I have to do at night, if the customers require it. Ugh!
I can't even believe I'm thinking about, like the pros and cons of this job. This is clearly a no go for me.
"Oh." Dave starts. "Also, there are 2 uniforms. Normal waitressing uniform and a night time party uniform." He says wiggling his eyebrows playfully.
Honestly, I kinda wanna know what that one looks like.
"Now, Don't tell anyone about what we do here at night time. This isn't a brothel. Unless, it's someone who would be interested in coming to enjoy our girls." I feel a little disgusted by this guy but I stay quite, smiling out of politeness. "We just want to treat our customers as best as we can. Some people want girls to just spread their legs to forget all of their problems and enjoy. So we provide that for them." He smiles as if he is pleased with it all but the simple thought of it, makes me sick.
Is sex that much fun, that you come to places like this, to do it off with some stranger? Considering my one and only experience of it, turned in to a nightmare, I hate even thinking about it. Maybe that's why I hate this job so much. But, there are a lot of reasons to hate this job actually.
I didn't think he would explain it this much. So after all of this is done, I thank him for his time. I thought of a way to politely say that I won't be taking the job but it didn't seem like a nice thing to do right now. So I just decide to not answer the phone if he calls me if I get the job. I know it's a cheat shot but I will never meet these people ever again in my whole life, So that's fine right?
He looked hot when I came in but now, he looks a little lustful.
We get up and shake our hands and suddenly the door was opened, without even a knock.
"Would you like your tea now, D?" A lady asks from behind me.
"Oh!" Dave claps his hands together. "Hope, stay for a cup of tea."
I start to say no because I wanna get out of this place as soon as I can but before I could even say anything the lady interrupts me.
"Hope?"
I turn around to look at her and all breath leaves me as I see who she is.