*Author's Note: Hi, hello, this is just a warning that there will be some content in this chapter dealing with suicide that may or may not be triggering for some readers.
After leaving the airport, Maya, Ari, and I went to grab something to eat and catch up. Ari was supposed to take an uber to his parent's house, but since he ran into us, I offered him a ride instead. I wanted a chance to catch up with him without Maya being there.
When it was time for us to part ways, I dropped Maya off at her parent's house and started making my way to Ari's.
"It's really good to see you again Nova," he says looking over from the passenger side.
"I know right, not enough people tell me that," I say back, joking.
He laughs his signature laugh that I have come to love and miss and it's like we are picking up where we left off the last time we were face to face.
I missed just being in his presence, just seeing his smiling face, watching his familiar movements, and smelling that fresh laundry scent that always surrounded him.
"Seriously, it's good to see you too Ari. Last time was what? Summer after high school graduation when everyone was getting ready to leave?"
"Yeah it was. Shit, I can't believe it's been that long already. We're already halfway done with college. We're fuckin' adults Nova! Can you believe that? Feels like just yesterday that we were in the tenth grade."
We made it to Ari's parent's house and were sitting in the driveway in my dark blue Chevy Cruze just chatting and laughing.
Back in high school, we used to have some of the best car conversations. We would talk about everything, laugh about everything, cry about everything (mostly me crying cuz I'm a sap), share our fears, and share our hopes and dreams for each other. We truly were best friends.
"Hey, why don't we finish this conversation inside? I kinda want to get out of these clothes and wash off the staleness of the airplane. Plus, I know it's been a while since my family has seen you," he says opening the passenger side door without waiting for my response.
"Uh, yeah sure, I guess. It's been a while since I've seen the family. Wait, are they all here?"
"I know Dakota is here for a few weeks and Georgia is probably here too. The only one who shouldn't be here is Montana."
As we make our way up to the Matthews' family large Midtown located home, I start to feel a little out of place. Like I didn't belong in this neighborhood. This area was all old money. Old money meaning passed down money. As in, the ancestors of these people all had money and their money stayed in the family and it came from people who owned people.
That type of money. Some of the original founders of this city lived in this area once upon a time.
Ari knocks on the door and we stand there for a minute before a handsome man appears.
Scratch that.
A fine ass man appears.
"Dak!"
"Ari!"
Ari drops his stuff on the ground not caring if it landed on porch bugs or not. The two brothers embraced each other and stayed that way for a few moments before finally letting go.
Ari gathers his stuff back up and walks past his older brother and walks inside the house leaving me to try and make conversation with the oldest male Matthews child.
Dakota looks over at me and grins before throwing his arms open wide.
"Nova! It's been so long since I've seen you! Which is too bad because you look good," he says suavely.
Oh Dakota, you fine specimen you.
Dakota Wolf Matthews (yes, their parents were really on something when they named him) is a 6'4 dark brown-haired, blue-green eyed beauty. He is goofy, sweet and peaceful, extremely intelligent, an excellent communicator, and skilled with his hands. No, I'm not saying that in a sexual way.
I wish.
He was just handy. And no, I'm not saying that in a sexual way either.
I also wish.
Dakota could look at almost any problem and fix it some way. He was like a young Macgyver. He was currently in his senior year studying in California still. He was here in town for a few weeks before going back to summer school to finish up his degree and graduate with his bachelors.
He and Ari were probably the closest out of the four siblings. I think it has something to do with the fact that they are both boys and can understand each other's problems so well.
"Age does you well Dakota. You lookin' good too," I say not even trying to hide the fact that I found him attractive. Just because I am, sorry, was, dating Remi doesn't mean I never noticed anyone else. I'm also not trying to get with Dakota though.
I hug him and stay in his comforting and inviting embrace for a few moments before he invites me inside.
The inside of the Matthews' residence was elegant with a hint of modern. It stayed true to the old neighborhood but added in a few touches of the new generation.
Crystal, diamond, fine China, tapestries, and brand name acquirements throughout the 6-bedroom 4 and 1/2-bathroom mansion.
It used to make me wonder why Ari was so concerned with getting scholarships to schools when he obviously came from money. Then I found out that his parents made it a point to teach their kids that just because they came from money doesn't mean they could be lazy and not work hard for their own earnings. They were all for helping their children out if they needed it but sitting around doing nothing and expecting money to fall onto their laps was not about to happen.
They always have the best snacks in their house too. I'm talking that brand name stuff that only the popular kids got. PopTarts, Fruit by the Foot, Doritos, ice cream for days, AND four different types of cereals! ALL of them opened at the same time too!
I used to love coming to their house after school.
"Are your parents home?" I ask Dakota after he closes the front door behind me.
"Yeah, they should be around here somewhere. Mom may be in the kitchen and dad in the office like always."
Dakota leads me to the kitchen where Georgia is sitting on a bar stool, Ari has his head in the refrigerator, and Mrs. Matthews is putting cookies on a plate and a couple of glasses of sweet tea next to them.
Mrs. Matthews is a very southern red headed, perfectly shaped beautifully pristine teen pageant winner, woman. Her southern accent is very strong, but her attitude is even more. She is definitely one of those women who will tell you, "bless your heart" to your face and not actually mean it in a good way. However, her family and friends always managed to melt her frozen and icy heart.
"Miss Nova Queen! You still look the same, just more beautiful. Where have you been young lady? Things were just not the same without you here, sweet girl. Come over here and give me a hug!"
I smile and walk over to her and hug her, getting lost in her ample bosom. We all sit down and catch up a little while eating her famous peanut butter cookies and drinking tea.
"Well that wasn't too bad. She didn't talk my ear off for too long," I say laughing once Ari and I make it upstairs to his room.
He starts pulling his shirt over his head to reveal his tastefully toned and naturally tanned abdomen and chest showing off a medium sized tattoo on his left side.
"Yeah she talks about you from time to time. She even still invites Blaire to come over even though I've told her we're not dating anymore."
"You got a tattoo?! When??" I ask completely ignoring whatever statement he just made.
It was a black simple lined, half bodied portrait of a short haired young looking girl blowing a dandelion; the wind wisping through her hair helping her blow the light little pieces of the flower away.
Ari looks away from me sadly for a moment before speaking again and leaning against his dresser.
"One of the first friends I made at college was this girl named Cameron. She was also someone who helped me become comfortable with who I am. She helped me be more comfortable with being gay. She was a lesbian herself, but like me, hadn't come out to her family at the time.
It was ironic because she was this confident and cool person who was so comfortable in her own skin, but just couldn't find the confidence to tell her own family.
Well, one day she had had enough of hiding from them and sat them all down to confess the secret she had been hiding. She told them and a few of them were accepting, but the ones who mattered to her the most weren't that receptive of the news."
"Her parents?"
"Right, her parents. Long story short, they kind of disowned her. Every little bad thing that happened after that, that was in everyone else's eyes minor, seemed to set her off.
She just kept feeling like nothing good was happening to her. She started becoming less confident in herself. She wasn't holding herself up to the standard she had previously held. Cam started becoming really sad and depressed because she missed her family. They were her whole world.
She wasn't allowed to see her younger siblings and other family because she had been disowned. Her depression started effecting her school life, she started losing friends because she was unjustly alienating them, she wasn't working as much.
I tried to help her as much as I could like she did for me, but I think she was just too overwhelmed. After months of her being in misery, one day she tried to kill herself by overdosing, but her roommate found her in time."
"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry that someone close to you is going through all of this. Is she ok? Is she getting help? You guys are still friends, right?"
"Well, after she got out of the hospital, she had to check into mandatory rehab. Because she was disowned by her parents, they were no longer her contacts. They didn't even know what was going on till way later. Her siblings knew though because they kept in secret contact with her, but she made them promise not to tell their parents. She felt like she would be a further burden to them than she already believed she was.
For a little while she started becoming better though! She was doing online classes and I was still there for her every step of the way. But you know how you can see one thing or hear one thing or even smell one thing, and it can remind you of something else and that can set off a whole chain of events? Good or bad? Well, that's what happened.
Cam saw her family one day in the grocery store laughing and looking happy. She told me that she wanted so badly to run up to them and hug them and check in with them to see how they were doing, but she couldn't. She said she didn't want to burden her parents with the fact that she had tried to kill herself and she didn't want her siblings to get in trouble for keeping in contact with her."
"But it wasn't her fault! She wasn't a burden. She was hurting."
"Yeah, you and I know that, but she didn't think about that. All she was thinking about was that she tore her family apart. Of course, not all parents are like how hers was. They just couldn't accept their daughter because society for so long has taught us that love and attraction can only be had through the two main genders. I'm sure her parents still loved her, but just couldn't accept how she lived. Not like her love life was their business anyway though unless she was dating someone harmful, but she wasn't.
Anyway, not long ago I heard from her roommate that Cam attempted to end her life again. Only this time she succeeded. She always had an interest in underwater life, loved everything about it. I guess she wanted to be around something she loved, so she drowned herself in one of the containments amongst all of these exotic fish at the aquarium she worked for and didn't attempt to swim back to the surface.
A friend of hers at her job told me that from the security cameras you could see the fish in there swimming around her like they were staying with her so she wouldn't die alone. I guess the security guard was away from the monitors at the time, so he wasn't there when she was drowning."
I could barely hold in the sadness. I felt like I could feel Ari's sadness from across the room radiating from him as well.
"I'm so sorry Ari. I'm so sorry you lost someone close to you who meant so much. She sounds like she was a great friend to have. Where does the dandelion come in if you don't mind me asking?"
Ari chuckles a bit like he was remembering a fond memory.
"Cam liked to make wishes on dandelions. Doesn't matter where we went or what we were doing. If she found one, she would stop and pick it up and take like, a thousand years to make one wish.
She would pucker her lips and blow away the little pieces that were carrying her wish to wherever those wishes go to be fulfilled. Cam always seemed at her happiest when she was making a wish on those things."
"Aww, that's sweet," I said while watching him cross his arms defensively against his chest, still leaning against his dark chocolate colored dresser.
"Yeah. I miss her. She was a beautiful soul."
I walk over to where he is, unfurl his arms, and wrap my arms around his bare upper body and lay my head against his chest listening to his heart wildly pump blood in and out. He, in return, wrapped his arms around me and laid his cheek on top of my head.
"Nova, I don't want to lose you. I know we haven't been in touch as much, but I still love you the same. You're still just as important to me."
This boy is going to have me start crying. This was not supposed to be such a sad occasion.
"I love you too Arizona."