Confrontation of the truths
You promised me that nothing was going on with her, I questioned you about it and you said I was being silly, you lied to my face, you stood there, and bare face lied to me. If you weren't happy with me and being in this relationship why didn't you just leave, was it better for you to hurt and embarrassed me the way you did, if it was pain you wanted me to feel then believe me you have succeeded.
There is nothing worst and despicable than a liar and cheat and you seem to have conquered both. I have loved you and have given you the best of me, but you will not see the worst of me, I will not give you the satisfaction to see me in any state. You made out that I was being foolish for asking you questions about your relationship with her, you said that I shouldn't listen to the rumours or read the messages on the blogs, I trusted and believed you and I bypass all that the papers were saying, for you to just go about your business and out it, out there like you didn't have a wife and child at home, like you weren't committed to our relationship and our family.
I supported you in all your dreams and aspiration, I picked you up when you were down and brought you back from the brink of death, when you couldn't stop drinking and taking medications, when you lost your family in the accident, who was the one that was there for you to scream at, to hold you when you were weak and could hardly eat, who was the one that made sure that you didn't kill yourself, it was me, it was all me all day and all night, I gave up so much of my time and my life to make sure you didn't commit suicide, to make sure you succeed as the artist you wanted to be, to make sure you didn't squander all of your money. It was me, your wife that was there for you, it was me, your best friend that was there for you and it was me, your trusted companion that was there for you through all of it all and you decided to treat me this was as though I didn't matter to you, you didn't think twice about me when you decided to be unfaithful.
For all the hard work I put into you, the best thing I have to show for it is the child you and I brought into this world, the child we planned and wanted so badly, the child that you are now walking away from, all because you choose to go out and put it about.
where is the love and respect we said we would always show to each other, where is the commitment we promised when we stood in church and said our vows, you have given up all of this and for what, for who and what possible reason could you have for breaking up our family. whatever happened to talking and communicating our problems if we felt as though something wasn't right, you have really gone and done it now and there is no going back from this, you knew it would break my heart, but you didn't care about how I would feel, did you. All you cared about was getting your kicks and your thrills, but what would happen when I found out, did I not put it out enough for you, did I not cook for you and make sure your belly was always full before you left this place, you do not understand the pain I am feeling right now and I tired of your excuses and you saying you are sorry, because we both know you are only sorry because you got caught, if you were sorry you wouldn't have lied about it when I questioned you the first time, you wouldn't have lied about it when the magazine and blogs were posting stories of your rendezvous with her, you would have man up and be a man about it and told me the truth, you would have told me you weren't happy and you wanted out our relationship, out of our marriage and out of my life.
This is the end of it for me, for fifteen long years you have seen and had the best of me, good luck with your life and good look with your girl, I will move on and rebuild my life, though it may take some time, it was good that I didn't depend on you for everything now, it was good that I held down my job whilst I was holding down this family, I guess I failed at holding down the home right, because it didn't stop you from straying now, did it.
take care Wesley and it's best not to contact me again, I won't stop you from seeing Destiny, but don't bring your girl around my child unless you are serious, am not looking for her to see multiple women coming in and out your life.
It's time you leave now, and I will let you know how I will deal with all the assets we have together.
Goodbye.
Wesley's reply
Debbie, please listen to me, I told you I am sorry, and I really meant it, you mean the world to me and it was reckless and foolish of me to step out on you. I cannot begin to tell you how much I love and respect you. From the age of twenty-two you have been the only woman I have been with until recently, I know it is not an excuse, but you weren't there on the road and on the sets with me, you weren't there when I was staying in the hotels at night by myself.
I called you so many times when I was away and ask you to get a sitter for Destiny so that we could have our time like we use to do, baby am sorry for the hurt and the pain that I have caused you, it wasn't my intention to embarrassed or hurt you, I know all of what I am saying to you is no excuse for me cheating, I just wish that I could take it all back, I wish that I could have told you how I was feeling when you blew me off to stay at home with Destiny. You have always been the one to hold me down, no other woman other than my mother have done for me what you have, I have never loved another woman the way I have loved you. Debs, don't let this be the end of us, you and I have been through a great deal together from the moment we met when we were sixteen and you were with Eric, we became close friends, so inseparable, everyone thought something was going down between us even though we told them nothing wasn't happening.
I was there for you when Eric got jealous of our friendship and put hands on you and left you in hospital for a week, I was the one who knocked his front tooth out and makes sure he never laid hands on you again, from that moment on, we went through crazy stuff together with all the females getting jealous because of you, and not once did I choose any of them over you, not once did I let any of them disrespect you, you have always been my best friend, my companion and my partner. For all the hurt I put upon you with stepping out on you, it breaks my heart to know that I caused you so much pain when all I ever wanted was to make you happy, to make you smile, to cherish every part of you and give you the very best of me.
Why do you want it to end like this, I saw our future together, where we grow old and die together, where we watch our baby girl grow up into a fine young woman and I walk her down the aisles whilst, you stand there crying watching your baby get married, this is the future that I saw with you Debs, you and only you. Don't let this one mistake takes away fifteen years of marriage, don't let it take away twenty-two years of friendship.
Deb, remember I was there with you through all the miscarriages you have when we were trying for a baby, I held you every night when you were crying and blaming it all on yourself, even though the doctors told you it wasn't your fault. When other men would run a mile, I stood by your side, even when you tried and tried to push me away, I stuck around for you, because you needed me, and I wanted to be there for you, I didn't want to see the woman I love hurt in any way and I am sorry for hurting you.
Debbie baby, you and Destiny are the only women I need and want in my life. I gave up playing games for you, I gave up late night sex with any girl for you, you have been the only woman I told I love and meant it wholeheartedly.
Debbie, am not saying goodbye to you, am not going to walk away from what we have and what we will have, I am not leaving you and am not leaving Destiny, you are both my whole life, without you both am only half a man, I am worth nothing, if you are both not in my life.
Whatever it takes I will do to prove to you, I don't want this to end and what I did was just a big selfish mistake on my path.
I won't give up Debbie; I just won't let it end like this.
Releasing anger
Wesley, I cannot begin to comprehend the reason you gave for stepping out, if you love me as much as you claim you would have never done that.
Debbie, please don't do this, it wasn't supposed to happen. But it did happen, didn't it? When you are on the road and on the set doing what you doing, do you know where I am? I am home holding down our business, looking after our child, the same child that we didn't know was going to make it into this world after five miscarriages.
I have been home, and I have missed you and yearned for you, but I didn't drop my draws for anyone, not a soul, because the truth is no one has given me the years of joy and happiness that you have, you should have thought of that before you started thinking with your downstairs head.
I don't know what else I can say to you Debs, I don't know how else I can show you I am sorry, there are no other women that come close to you. Evidently not, because you have been carrying on with your mistress for the good part of six months, six months Wesley, six freaking months, you have been freaking behind my back with this woman and lied and lied about it until you got caught. Tell me how am I supposed to forgive that, uh, how am I supposed to lay with you and not have a nightmare about the fact that you have been unfaithful, how can I make love to you when I know what you have been doing.
Can you not just take a moment to see where I was coming from Debbie, can you not see I wanted my wife with me, but you choose to stay home and be a mum than come and spend some time with your husband.
I was lonely without you and she was just there when I needed someone, she made me feel wanted again, and I just needed that from you Debs, I just needed that from you. every time that I was with her it was always you that I was thinking about, it was always you that I wanted to be there with Debbie, we can get through this I know that we can, I will fight and fight for you.
Wesley, I think you have said enough, believe me, if you say any more I may have to draw for something to knock some form of sense into you, because if you can't see what you are saying right now is just making matters worse, then I do not know what else to tell you.
I need a break, I need some space and I need time, am taking Destiny and we are going to be staying with my mother for a while, please just leave me be for a minute, please don't come by the house and don't call because I need my space.
Debbie, you don't have to run off, I'll leave the house if it's space you want, why so you can go back to your mistress. Please don't do that Debs; do what? If I am doing anything it's all because of you.
I am going to my mum and that's final and I have already told here am coming and whether you leave or not I just need to be out of this city.
What am I supposed to do without you both here? Do what you always do Wesley.
Does mum know best?
Oh Debbie, hi mum, how are you doing? As good as can be mummy. Hello princess, hi grandma, look how big you have gotten, how old are you now about three, no, maybe two, oh grandma, am I five. Five, you are a big girl now aren't you, yes, I am.
Why don't you go on inside, I got the neighbours children over for you to play with, I know you were fond of them last time you were here, thanks, grandma.
Let's take a walk Debbie, I don't want to leave Destiny, your dad is inside, and she'll be fine what do you think is going to happen to her; oh, mum you know what I mean. So, let's go for that walk then, mum I am so tired, can we just sit on the swing in the back.
Well, at least that's progress. So, tell me, how are you really feeling? The truth, humiliated, betrayed, destroyed, embarrassed, crushed all the above and more. Darling, it wasn't your fault; you weren't the one that cheated.
Well if you ask Wesley he'll say otherwise, can you believe he had the nerves to say it's because I wasn't there.
Am sure he didn't mean it that way. Mummy, his words were, "can you not see I wanted my wife, but you stayed at home to be a mum, rather than to spend time with me". Baby, he has a point; you don't ever want to go anywhere any more since you had Destiny. Mummy, please do not tell me you are taking his side, I cannot believe I am hearing this from you, you are supposed to be on my side, I am your daughter, after all, me not him.
Debbie, calm down, I didn't mean it like that. Then what did you mean it like mum?
Debbie, you have been neglecting your duty as a wife, you have lost you free-spirited spark, there was a time when you wouldn't let anything or anyone get in the way of you and Wesley, I should know because you ran off to London without saying a word to me or your father until you got there.
Mum, I was twenty-three I was an adult. An adult that was still living at home, at twenty-three, with her mother and father. You knew your dad and I did not approve of him, but it didn't stop you, did it. Mum, you should know that when you tell a child no it just means that they go for it that much more, but that's not the point.
He knew where I was, there were times when he was two hours away and he could have driven down to see me if he wanted, there were times when he had the next day free and it wouldn't have killed him to catch a flight to come see me.
You are being unreasonable Debbie, mum, I came down here to take a break and clear my head to think about what I am going to do next, but you are making out as though his cheating was my fault.
I love my husband, I love Wesley mummy, he's the only man I have known for the last fifteen years that we have been together, and me not getting on a flight to see him or driving to see him in a hotel was no reason for him to cheat.
Mummy, I am tired, and I haven't even taken the bags out the car or said hi to daddy yet, your dad doesn't mind he knows what is happening.
Am just going to go inside and take a nap, I am tired, and it has been a very long drive coming down here.
How long will you be staying for? Am not sure, well you can stay for as long as you need.
Thanks, mum and I do love and appreciate you, you know that right. I know baby, I know.
Hi daddy, hello baby, come give your old man a big hug; awe, it's been a while since I had a hug like that from you.
I know, am sorry dad; I will come down more often to visit. How was the talk with your mother; everything ok? It has left me more confused than ever dad, if am being honest. Well; sometimes your mother has that effect on people. Don't I know it?
Can you keep an eye on Destiny; I just want to take nap, am just so tired right now. I can honey, you just go rest your little self.
Thanks, dad.
Good morning darling, good morning, dad, didn't realise I slept through the whole evening, I guess you had a lot on your mind; I sure do. Where is Destiny? She is in the dining room with your mum having breakfast.
Thanks, daddy, don't mention it, baby.
Hi mum, hey Destiny, how are you doing? Am okay mummy, grandma make me pancakes for breakfast, I see.
Did you sleep well, yes mum it's one of the best I have had in a long while. It is just good to be away for a while and just to be around different scenery.
what are you going to do for the rest of the day, I was thinking of taking Destiny around town and meeting up with some old friends whilst am in town.
Your friend Kimberly just came back to town recently, I saw her with her mum in the supermarket last Thursday. I haven't seen Kimberly since we graduated we just lost touch. She was your best friend wasn't she; yeah, we were pretty close, what did happen between you two, long story mum, it's just a long story.
Have you called Wesley yet, Destiny; can you go and sit with grandpa, I think he is feeling lonely all be himself, okay mum, can I call dad please, in a while sugar, go and go sit with grandpa.
Mummy, why, why did you have to mention him in front of Destiny, I do not want her to know that her parents or having some trouble and may possibly be going through a divorce. Divorce! Yes mum, divorce
Don't you think that you are being a bit hasty, and he is her father after all Debbie, you cannot keep her away from him, what are you going to tell her when you spending another night here or maybe more unh, she is still a child and she still needs both her parents despite what you and Wesley are going through, so remember when you making your decision, think of Destiny and put her needs first and don't use her as tool in your bickering with Wesley, I am being very serious now, you do not know what kind of pressure you could put your daughter under.
Don't you think I know that mum, why do you think I came down here to get some space from Wesley; am just trying to figure out what is best for me and most importantly what is best for Destiny, I just want to have a moment where I can think about something else other than my marriage falling apart, mummy.
I do not want to think about Wesley and what he has done and what he is doing, I just need to re-evaluate myself and the move that I am going to do next.
Am just going to get dressed and take Destiny in town and just show her about the place for a bit.
Okay, but make sure she speaks to her dad today, because you didn't call him yesterday so you need to call him today, so he knows that is daughter and you arrive safely.
I don't think he cared about our safety when he was messing around.
Just call him Debbie.
Why don't you call him and let Destiny speak to him, I don't think that is unreasonable, I do not want to hear his voice or speak to him so it's best you do it. Am going to get dressed and then take Destiny out, you can call him whilst am getting ready.
I do not believe you; you are acting like a child. Mummy, I am doing the best I can not to scream, and break some plates so I think am handling it well thus far.
I will call him Debbie; you just go on get ready. Thank you, for being understanding. Did I have a choice?
Destiny, grandma is going to call daddy so you can speak to him, if you go to the dining room, you can speak to your daddy now.
Are you ok honey, not really dad, mum is driving me crazy and she making it seem as though it's my fault my marriage is falling apart.
She just loves you Debbie, and she doesn't want to see you hurt or your marriage end, she cares about you all.
I was not looking for my marriage to fall apart, when I got married, it was my intention to get married forever, I wanted my marriage to last as long as yours and mum.
marriage takes work darling, and you have to comprise a lot within your marriage because you are not thinking about yourself alone, you are thinking about another person, just as you would think to make sure, Destiny eats, she is clean and healthy. it's looking after your husband and your wife needs and not just your own individual needs, communication plays a big part in all marriage and when you have a child together it just makes it that much harder.
I know daddy, I know, and I have tried to be accommodating to Wesley's needs, I have always looked out for him daddy, from the time we were children, to when we began dating and even in our marriage, but I have a lot that I have to deal with dad, and after my miscarriages life has not been the same it has not been that easy, but I thought that I was doing well and taking care of my family and my home, I didn't expect my husband to stray and the fact that he was doing it for six months, daddy that's a long time, it hurt it really hurts, all I want to do is burst out in tears but am holding it all back because of Destiny, I have to be strong for her.
Daddy, all I want to do is just break down and cry, and scream out loud, I just want to throw some bottles at a wall, go in the kitchen and break some plates, I have all this anger built up inside and I am just holding back, because of Destiny.
Honey you do not need to hold back your anger, holding back in what you are feeling is only going to make the situation worst, come here and give your daddy a hug, it is okay to cry, baby, don't be afraid to let it out and don't feel as though you have to be strong for Destiny, she needs a mother that can show her emotions so that one when she is hurting she can come and talk to you without holding back.
Just let it out Deb, let it out and take a moment for yourself. why don't you go an take a walk by yourself we'll look after Destiny today, and we'll take her out, it's been a while so it will be good to show my granddaughter around town.
Thank you, daddy, I love you so much. Its okay baby, I just don't want to see you hurting, so take as much time as you need today, go break some plates, or throw some bottles, go and scream out if you want to, but go and take time out for yourself.