School and work kept Lauren from having time to see Joan the next few days. Valentine's Day was on Friday. Lauren received a card, and a dozen roses that Jake had apparently ordered for her months ahead of time. He got her the same flowers for her birthday so it wasn't that surprising, but it was nice.
It made her smile as Ruth fussed, and said she was jealous. Alex and Ruth agreed to no presents since they were saving their money for the wedding, and furniture for their house. The couple were going to make dinner together at Alex's house and watch a movie.
It sounded nice to Lauren although she knew her sister was disappointed as last year Alex filled the entire living room of their house with red roses, and he had come to the door with a red rose, a limo, and he had taken her to a concert of her favorite band and dinner at a nice restaurant. She still hadn't stopped talking about it.
"It's fun for kids," Ruth said when Lauren showed her the dress she was wearing to the Valentine's dance.
"I'm dateless so I'm going with Monroe," Lauren said as she sat down at the breakfast table. "Wren is bringing Henry, and I don't know if Hope is going with anyone."
"You must miss Jake."
"I do, but I'm proud of him. Plus I get to spend time with Monroe, and I'm not a huge Valentine's Day person anyway."
"Those roses are spectacular though."
"Nothing like Alex got you last year, but I really like them," Lauren said, and she smiled as she touched one of the rose petals.
She put the roses in water, and then she went upstairs to dress for her morning class. Ruth left for school, and her parents were gone so Lauren was surprised when she heard a knock at the door. No one came over at this time.
She pulled her yellow sweater on over her favorite white skirt, and she went down the stairs. No one was there. She opened the door and sitting on the door mat was a beautiful brown teddy bear with a card and a box of her favorite turtle chocolates. The card read 'Lauren.' She opened it, and it was a hand-made card from Joan.
"I never make Valentine's Day cards, but I saw this bear at the store, and I thought of you. I guess it isn't that inventive of an idea... a teddy bear, or chocolates, but I know you're a fan of the classics. I hope you have a great day, Lauren.
Love, Joan."
Lauren was touched. She looked around, and she saw Joan stirring around the corner of the house. She had a smile on her face. She looked sheepish and adorable in her jean jacket and a pleated gray skirt. She had on her favorite yellow tights and polka dotted rain boots that Lauren was always making fun of, but she secretly adored it when Joan wore them.
"I love it," Lauren said as Joan came out from hiding. "It's so cute. I love stuffed animals."
"I know." Joan admitted. "You would."
Lauren grinned, and then it faded. "I didn't get you anything. I'm sorry."
"It's alright," Joan said awkwardly. "I wasn't going to, but then I saw it, and...."
"I'm just kidding!" Lauren laughed as she saw the sad look on Joan's face that she was clearly trying to mask. "I have it upstairs. Come on."
"You are such a jerk," Joan said with a sigh as she followed Lauren into the house, but they were laughing.
They went upstairs, and Lauren got out the card, the pink stuffed rabbit she bought and some candy. The rabbit had purple stars all over a tiny pink sweater, and she had thought of Joan when she had seen it the day she was picking out a card for Jake.
Lauren got caught up in finding Joan the perfect card that she forgot to get him anything, and she felt terrible. He was used to getting his mail late though so she knew she could use that an excuse.
"It's so cute," Joan laughed as they sat on Lauren's bed. "I love the little glasses."
"I thought you would. It looked dorky enough."
"I will cherish my dorky rabbit named Fred forever."
"It's a girl!"
"... Fredricka?"
"That is a seriously terrible name. How about Freida?"
"Oh fine," Joan said, and she smiled as she made the rabbit dance, and then she leaned in to kiss Lauren on the mouth. "Happy Valentine's Day."
"Happy Valentine's Day," Lauren said softly; their faces so close together she could smell Joan's toothpaste.
She kissed Joan again, and she knew she was going to be late for class, but it suddenly didn't seem to matter.
They made out on Lauren's bed, and Joan's hands went up Lauren's sweater and under her bra. Lauren was surprised at how natural it felt. She wasn't uncomfortable as they kissed up against the pile of pillows, and the stuffed animals were now forgotten on the floor.
"... Does it bother you that you're cheating on your boyfriend?" Joan asked after Lauren finally pulled away, and she said they should cool down for a while. Now they were cuddling and quietly talking.
"I don't know," Lauren said after a moment of thought.
"You don't know?" Joan smirked as she laid her head against Lauren's shoulder.
"I thought about it, but I..."
"I guess you don't consider it cheating since it's with another girl."
"I didn't say that."
"It's just a guess."
"... Are you mad at me?"
"No," Joan said honestly. "You aren't doing this alone. I'm cheating with you."
"Yeah," Lauren said sadly. "I'm sorry."
"And I know it's wrong, but I'm so fucking attracted to you that all guilt leaves my mind the moment I see you," Joan said with a sigh; running her finger down Lauren's bare arm.
Lauren knew she shouldn't laugh, but she couldn't help it.
"It isn't funny."
"I know."
"Why are you laughing then?"
"I have no idea," Lauren admitted. "This whole thing is so... in your words... so fucking weird."
"Yeah..." Joan said, and her gray eyes met Lauren's brown. "Is that why you didn't text or call me back for three days?"
"No," Lauren lied. "I've actually been really busy."
"I know. I haven't seen you home a lot."
"I see Sandra at your house all the time though."
Joan glanced up. "What? Are you jealous?"
"So are you sleeping together?"
"No. Not anymore."
"But you have since the dance..."
"Well, yeah... We haven't since that day at the cemetery though."
"Oh. Okay."
Joan sat up on her elbow. "Would you care if we still were?"
"I would," Lauren admitted as they stared at one another.
"I'd care if you were still fucking around with Jake."
"Jake and I don't... fuck."
"You've done other stuff though. Would you still be doing it if he were here?"
"I don't know," Lauren admitted. "We stopped messing around after Alex caught us almost having sex. Jake feels guilty now that we went so far."
"He sounds like a lot of fun."
"He's a good guy."
"I know," Joan said gently. "That's why this sucks so much. If he were an asshole I'd make out with you guilt free, but I actually do feel bad."
"Yet you still make out with me?"
"Yes," Joan said with a heavy sigh. "I'm weak when it comes to you. And that skirt you are wearing today is killing me. Plus now it's pushed up to your underwear, and I can see a bit..."
Lauren laughed as she pulled her skirt down. "Oh my God, I didn't even notice!"
"You are fucking beautiful," Joan said, and she started kissing Lauren's neck.
Lauren groaned as Joan's hand started down her thigh, and up the skirt in question. She didn't try to stop her this time. She touched Lauren on the outside of her white underwear, and Lauren groaned again; louder this time.
Joan whispered in Lauren's ear, and she asked if it was okay. Lauren nodded soundlessly; biting her lip and arching her back as Joan slid Lauren's underwear down to her knees. Lauren lifted her legs so Joan could pull them completely off when they heard the front door slam.
"Shit," Lauren whispered in a panic as she reached for her underwear. "It's Ruth!"
"Lauren?" Ruth called up the stairs. "What are you doing home?"
She'd seen Lauren's car in the driveway. Ruth knew Lauren was supposed to be at class.
"I forgot my essay," Lauren called back. "I'm just doing some finishing touches."
"You missed your whole class, you know. Wren told me you weren't there."
"Just mind your own business," Lauren said as she pulled her underwear back on as she stood by the door; it was very difficult as she had one hand on the door to make sure it stayed closed, and one hand was pulling up her underwear as she tried not to flash Joan although she had already seen everything. Joan was sitting on the bed; halfway under the covers and looking unconcerned.
"Whatever," Ruth said. "I was just getting one of my books. See you later, freak."
"Such a lovely girl," Joan said mockingly as they heard Ruth slam out of the house. "I guess messing around in your house probably isn't the best idea."
"Probably not," Lauren said sagely; her heart was still racing.
"We could continue at my house."
Lauren wanted to, but she knew she had to get to work, and maybe it was best they stopped before they went too far again. She wondered how many times she could stop herself before they went all the way.
She looked at Joan, and she wanted to tell her it was over. It would make things so much easier to just end it, but she couldn't. She didn't want it to be over. She loved Joan, and she wanted to crawl back under the covers and stay there all day with her.
"I have to work," Lauren said lamely. "I really do have to go."
"Alright," Joan said as she got up. "I'm.. I'm sorry if I took it too far. You are a novice. I shouldn't push."
"No, I wanted to," Lauren said honestly as they stood staring at one another.
Joan put her hand on Lauren's waist, and she pulled the other girl close to her. They kissed gently, and Lauren felt herself weaken as Joan pushed her body against Lauren's, but Joan let go after the kiss ended.
"Happy Valentine's Day."
"Happy Valentine's Day. Hey, I'm going to a Valentines Dance at church. Do you want to come?"
"I don't know. Is Hope going to be there?"
"Yes unfortunately."
"Maybe I'll skip this time," Joan said with an awkward shrug. "I'll have the house to myself since Wren is going with Henry, and after they're going out to dinner so maybe you can drop by after?"
"Maybe," Lauren said; her mouth dry just thinking about it. She knew she shouldn't, but she wanted to. She really, really wanted to.
"You better get to class," Joan said after a moment. "I'll walk you downstairs."
They said goodbye at Lauren's car, and she watched Joan head down the street. In her hands was the pink bunny rabbit and Valentine's card with Lauren's love inside.