Chapter 13
I curl my fist and rake it against Reese's hotel door. My phone dings and a part of me hopes that it's Ace. I still can't believe he'd let us go through all of this alone, no word from him, no farewell to Jonah, nothing. I roll my eyes at my childish faith when I unlock my phone to see that it's only my Uber driver asking for his money.
I transfer the funds to him while I wait for Reese to open the door. Where the hell was he? He was supposed to meet me at this corner store a few miles from my house after the funeral but he never showed. I gave him some time but he wasn't answering any of my phone calls either. I didn't like how he presented himself as a shoulder to cry on, and now he was ignoring my calls. I bring my fist to the door again, and this time Reese opens it.
He's abandoned his black button-down for a wife beater but he still had on his black slacks. He's in black socks, so I know he wasn't planning on heading out anymore tonight. I'm just trying to figure out what the fuck happened in the past three hours.
"What you doing here, Candyce?"
I'm too stunned to answer. He gives me a bored expression. Why was he treating me like some annoying baby moms all of a sudden?
"What you mean? You was posed to pick me up three hours ago."
I shift back and forth on my feet. I notice how he still stands in the doorway and hasn't invited me in yet.
"And you thought it made sense to drive all the way over here? If I wanted to see you, I would have came to you," He says.
I take a step back. So he was brushing me off. But he had no reason to be doing it so harshly. He must be forgetting that I buried my little brother today. I took a chance being vulnerable even coming here and he was rubbing it in my face. This was why I acted the way that I did with everyone. I didn't have time for the hot-and-cold shit people liked to pull. When you're alone, all you have to worry about is yourself.
"If you ain't wanna do this then what was all that weak ass shit about 'I got you, Candyce'? Matter fact don't even answer that. I got too much going on to be dealing with yo bullshit too," I say as I turn around.
Of course, Captain Save-A-Hoe grabs my arm again. I don't know if he just doesn't like to be the bad guy or what but he really had to stop trying to save me when I tried to leave. It clearly gives the wrong message. It was embarrassingly obvious that we were not on the same page.
"Candy, wait," He says.
"No."
"I'm serious. Slow the fuck up aight? Let me talk to you," Reese jogs behind me in his black socks.
"I'm good."
"No you not."
I halt in my tracks. I was all out of tears, yet I still felt them tugging on my tear ducts. All of my tears belonged to Jonah. I'll be damned if I waste a single drop on a nigga ever again.
"Wassup with you Reese? You tell me what this gonna be since evidently you hold all the cards. You say you got me, I come and now you falling back," I turn to him, "Tyrese?"
He runs a tattooed hand down his face. We look strange in the middle of this hallway with Reese half-dressed, running behind me in his socks. And I know I look a mess. All the elegance I wore today for Jonah is long gone. My hair is in a pony tail at the top of my head, my dress is still on but I've gotten rid of the black heels for Steve Madden slides.
"I don't know Candyce, you tell me. Wassup with you and Caese?"
My face twists up in annoyance. Here I was talking about Caesar again. I am sick and tired of discussing this nigga. One "I'm over him" was enough to last a lifetime, really.
"Nothing. What made you ask me that?"
"It can't be nothing. Me and Caese go back a few years now. He ain't choking me up for no reason."
"When?"
"At the fucking graveyard. He grabbing at me like I'm some bitch talking bout staying away from you and shit. Threatening to tell Ace about us like I give a fuck," Reese says.
So not only did this nigga Caesar not want me. But apparently he was knocking off the people who do? What the fuck was his angle? Whatever it was, I wanted no parts. All he ever wanted was to be my brother and the rate we were going, he was getting what he wanted. But he did not need to choke up my trades to try to prove that was all we were ever gonna be. I got the message a month ago in my bedroom, loud and clear.
"I don't know why he did that but nothing going on between us aight? That's why you acting brand new all of a sudden?" I say.
Reese nods his head.
"You don't gotta sing ya rap sheet to me, Candyce. But Caesar is my mans. He did a lot to help me into the position I'm in now. Not saying I owe this nigga anything, cause I think I paid him back a thousand times over, but I'm not going around him either. So, if you say ain't nun up and he say ain't nun up, then I'ma go ahead and believe it," Reese says.
I still don't understand why he couldn't have told me all of this in his room. We were having a very private conversation in the middle of the hallway where anybody could hear. In fact, I was sure I saw a housekeeper peer over at us from a time or two from down the hall.
"So you believe me. Can I come in now?" I huff out.
"Yeah. But Candyce make this yo last time lying to me aight? I don't got 'Loyalty' tattooed over my eye for nothing," Reese says.
I nod my head. I didn't want to lie to him but I doubt that this will be my last time.
He reaches his hand out for me to take so I do. I follow behind him, admiring how his muscles strain under his white shirt. His tattoos were gleaming under the hotel lights. When we reach his door, he twirls me around so that my back is against the door. I can tell by how hard he's kissing me that we're in for a lot of fun. I just hope he has the stamina to last a few rounds. I had a lot on my mind. What better way to distract myself than feeling Reese slide inside of me.
The man proves himself. We last four rounds with breaks in between to catch our breaths. When he was too wore out from the first two rounds, he surprised me by flickering his tongue in between my legs. He knew what he was doing too. I don't know why he held out on me that first night.
When we're done, I'm laid on his chest with my hair sprawled around me. He's smoking a blunt, which I'm sure is illegal in hotel rooms. Though, I'm certain he doesn't give a fuck. He offers it to me, but I decline. I'm still trying to come down from that last high his dick gave me. I really didn't need anything else.
I use my middle finger to trace the patterns of his tattoos across his chest. He has the usual Bible scripture, even though Jonah's funeral was probably the first time he'd step foot inside of a church in a long time. On the other side of his chest, he has a portrait of an elderly woman, a younger woman and a teenage boy.
"Who's this?" I ask.
He tenses as I trace my fingers along the faded lines. He grabs my hand when I touch the boy's face.
"My family," He says, staring down at me.
"You get everybody in your family tattooed on you?" I ask.
"Nah. Just the ones that die."
Instinctly, I lift my hand from the tattoo. Of course they're dead. I can't believe I was being so careless and nosey. Well, the nosey part was like me, but usually I was better at reading situations. I was a master at hiding what hurt me, so I picked up on other's sore spots as well.
I don't want to push him on it, but with Jonah gone, I feel entitled to know his story. I could never understand his pain, but maybe hearing him speak on it would help to not make me feel so alone.
"Who's she?" I start with the young girl first.
"My first love," He inhales the smoke a little longer this time.
"Hm," I say.
Now, I know my history with Caesar has clouded my judgment a little bit, but I was no jealous bitch. I was too pretty and had my shit altogether to be worrying about the next bitch. Except Keyana. But that was a different story entirely.
I do however, admire how easy it was for Reese to call her his love in front of me. He didn't even hesitate. It was like a known thing to him. Like you had to accept that his heart belonged somewhere else or you could keep it steppin. I wish somebody felt that way about me.
"How'd she die?" I whisper.
"She killed herself," He says.
I crane my neck to look up at him. He's staring ahead. I'm not sure if he's lost in thought or just giving me rehearsed answers. Reese was too good in bed to not have slept with other women. So, I know other curious people have asked him about these tattoos. Maybe he had trained himself to keep his feelings intact when someone brought her up.
"How old were you?" I ask.
"16."
"What made her your first love?"
Reese seems caught off guard. He reaches over me to put the end of his blunt to ashes.
"You the first person to ask me that besides her," He says.
His eyebrows furrow together. They make his tattoo jumble up and harder to read across his eyebrow.
I stay quiet, waiting for him to gain the nerve to answer me. I can see that I had hit home with my question. I wonder what's going through his mind right now. What memories are flooding his brain that I'll never know.
"She was always there for me. We ain't never have shit growing up 'cept some hand-me-downs from cousins and shit. My moms had Lupus, so she couldn't move around half the time, let alone get up and go to work. So I was this bummy ass kid going to school in church shoes, football cleats, whatever I could find. Everybody ragged on me, but I was funny so after awhile they stopped.
Emyri's family was set. I mean, she wasn't rich or none but she lived in a decent enough neighborhood. I thought she was smart. I ain't have shit to give her but I could make her laugh. We started off as friends, but eventually we got together. She'd make dinner plates for me and my sisters. She'd give them all her clothes that didn't fit. Do their hair. But more importantly, she talked to me. She always wanted to know what was on my mind and shit. I thought it was weird, her asking me all that shit. I guess she just wanted to ask cause nobody was asking her. She was that type of person."
I stare at Reese while he talks. He wears a half-smile, almost smirking thinking back to the days before he could afford designer shoes for the fun.
"When I made sixteen, I got off my ass and finally went made some money. She never judged but she'd always be whispering shit to me about college and me being great and shit. I never stopped hustling, but I did fill out some college applications. Wherever she applied, I was going. It ain't even fucking matter. But cause I was hustling so much, I was spending less and less time with her. So busy thinking bout making a sale, I forgot to ask her how she was feeling. She did it when we were seventeen. Senior year. She got accepted to Spelman and I was content going to a community college just to be next to her. When she killed herself, I said fuck all that school shit. I ain't want that life if she wasn't gon be there with me. To be real, I think I knew I wouldn't have stayed on track without her.
When Caese came into town, he was big news. He moved up the ranks quick. Word on the street was that he had spent a lot of time under Santana, who was posed to be this big deal."
"Wait, people in New York knew my daddy?" I sit up and ask him.
Reese nods his head.
"Ace really don't tell you shit huh?" Reese shakes his head, "Yo daddy really got his start in Rosewood, California. It's outside of LA. He worked under this nigga named Geedy who was big shit back then. Under Geedy, Santana plugged in a kid named Ducey. From what I know, Ducey run shit in Rosewood now.
Anyway, after awhile Santana left and moved back home with y'all. Caesar told me before he died he was talking bout expanding to New York, making connections and shit. I think that's why Caesar went up after he died."
I turn my head away from him. I think Caesar had a lot of reasons for leaving town but I knew somehow the final decision was because of me. But I don't wanna talk about Caesar. I hope Reese just skip through the timeline to finish telling me about his life.
"So Caesar comes to town with all these ideas. The right people like em. Not a year and a half later, he was the head nigga in charge. Shit, I was tryna get like him. My moms was getting sicker, my little sisters were growing up and got teased more often. So, I talked to Caesar man-to-man. He gave me a spot pushing dope for him. And then I come to New Orleans and I meet Santana's daughter by accident. Shit's crazy right?"
Reese lights the blunt again. I sit, amazed that he told me all of that. I guess Emryi was Pandora's box for him. If you got him talking about her, he was open to just about anything. I liked it. I liked knowing he had a Kryptonite.
I want to ask him about the teenage boy and the woman on his chest, who I was now assuming was his mother. But, his phone vibrates on the table next to us.
Reese picks it up. He looks confused as he reads the message.
"Who is it?" I ask, only cause he looks so confused.
"Caesar."
"Ugh," I groan, "What does he want?"
"A meeting. Now," Reese gently pushes my head off him.
I lay in bed and watch him get changed. He exchanges the slacks for a pair of black jeans. He throws a red T-shirt over his head and sits on the edge of the bed while he stuffs his feet inside a pair of black and red Jordans.
After hearing his life story, now I see why he spends so much on clothes and shoes.
"What you still laying there for?" He says over his shoulder.
"I didn't know that invite included me," I run a hand through my hair.
"You with me now. I'm not leaving you in a room all day long. So get ya ass up and let's go," He says.
"Yes daddy," I mutter, pulling the sheets off my legs.
...
The second we enter the room at The Loft, Caesar's face tightens up. He mugs the shit out of Reese as we walk up.
"So you rocking with us again?" Caesar says to me.
"Well she rocking with me, so she gotta rock with us," Reese says.
"So you speak for her now?" Caesar says but he never takes his eyes off me.
"I don't need nobody to speak for me. And I mean nobody," I say slowly.
Caesar looks back and forth between Reese and I. I can tell by the chuckle he lets out that he knows Reese told me about their conversation.
"Don't we got business to discuss? Ain't that what you call us in here for?" Reese says.
I'm glad for him cause Caesar looks ready to chew my head in like the night he told me what he really thought of me.
"Yeah, bruh. What's this shit about?" Munch says behind us.
Munch is joined with everyone from before, except Gecko of course. Everyone notices that he's no longer there but nobody questions it.
"The Feds sniffing round. They went to Ace's crib looking for him but he was with us. He's hiding out right now which makes me in charge til shit ease up," Caesar says.
Everyone smacks their teeth. People start to mutter but with one look from Caesar, they shut that shit up quick.
"For the most part, I want everything to keep pushing the way it used to. Y'all all know what y'all positions is. Just play ya part. As for Candyce, consider yaself a new employee at Wash 'N Go. Cam can show you how everything moves so you can keep an eye out in case nigga try sum'n. Reese, you mind extending ya visit a lil longer?"
Reese shakes his head.
"Cool. We moving the Galvez trap over on Algiers. You remember how to run a trap right?"
Reese mugs Caesar. It's clear he's still salty about us attending the meeting together. That jab at Reese was unnecessary and petty.
"Everybody ona same page?" Caesar takes a look around the room.
"Nah, that don't sound right."
It's Cam.
"What don't sound right?" Caesar says.
"I'm Ace's right hand. I been doing this shit for years now. I know how he would want everything to run," Cam says.
"Can we agree that he'd want the ship to sail smoothly with no intteruptions while he's gone?" Caesar asks.
"Yeah but--"
"Alright then. Anybody else got questions?"
Cam mugs Caesar but he doesn't stand up for himself either. It didn't matter how long he had been working under Ace. If he couldn't stand his own against Caesar, then he didn't have what it takes to run a whole operation. Even if he knew how the business side of things ran.
"I gotta question."
We look around. It's Tory. The jokester who had got on Ace about his name. When the crowd departs to show him, he has a blunt in hand just like before. His dreads are held back by a black bandanna. He has on a long black t-shirt too. I almost ask why he's draped in all black in this unrelentless heat until I remember that he's a designated hitter.
"I wanna know how Ace get heat but the rest of you motherfuckers in charge don't. I know Cam be busy and Reese is new but you Caesar," Tory points the blunt at Caesar, "How the fuck you hang with Ace all the time but when some shit go down you so happen to not be involved?"
Caeaar's eyes blaze when he realizes what Tory is insinuating. I want to jump in and correct Tory too. I know Caesar was new to town but he was no stranger. He's Ace best friend. There was no way he was talking to the Feds.
"So what you tryna say?"
"I ain't tryna say nun."
"Nah if you got sumn on yo chest say that shit," Reese says.
I'm surprised he jumped in at Caesar's defense. Then again, they were boys. It would be stupid for them to fall out over me.
"I just think it's odd. That's all," Tory says.
"Good think you get paid to kill and not to think. Shut the fuck up and get back to work. Everybody!" Caesar says.
"Y'all heard the man! Get the fuck up!" Reese says.
Slowly, people start to file towards the door. Tory stays behind, never taking his eyes off Caesar. When Mad Max escorts everyone else out, Tory finally rises and heads to the door.
"They don't seem like they taking well to this new adjusment," Reese says.
"It don't fucking matter. Ace passed me the torch. I'ma do right by him," Caesar says.
Reese nods his head. He grabs my hand, without saying another word to Caese, and we head to the door. I'm not sure if the tension between them is solved or not, but it's good to know Reese still has Caesar's back. If Ace was gonna be away for a while, it felt good knowing Caesar still had someone to watch out for him. I don't know if Caese saw it that way. But if he didn't he was stupid.
The boy didn't have "Loyalty" over his eye for nothing.