Izaya's POV
I felt so light, so free. It felt as though I was floating with the clouds. It was peaceful here, and I knew there was nothing to fear. Before I knew it however, I was dropping like a rock back to the ground.
I woke up to the familiar bright lights of the exam room, I squinted, waiting for my eyes to adjust. I felt sicker than I ever had before, I could hardly lift my head. I glanced around the room, confused at to why I was here.
That's when the memories of what I had done came barreling back into my brain. I cursed at myself, knowing I'd failed. I tried to move, and could barely curl my hands into a fist. As I did so, I felt a calloused hand rubbing circles into mine.
'Who could that be?' I thought, 'Maybe Shinra? Or Celty? No their hands aren't this rough...' I pondered, turning my head to the side to find out. A familiar blond head of hair faced me, messier than usual. I could hear quiet sobs coming from him, which confused me. 'Why is he crying? I thought this is what he'd wanted?'
I sat in silence for awhile, trying to work up the courage to speak. When I finally did, my voice was gravely and my mouth felt drier than the Sahara. "Shizu-chan...?" I spoke quietly, and I momentarily doubted he heard me. Then I watched as he lifted his head, deep bags under his eyes, red and puffy from crying. I felt a pang of guilt at this. His eyes met mine, and I watched as more tears cascaded down his tan skin. "Izaya!" I grunted as the man pulled me into a tight hug. I was confused at this, and at the fact he didn't call me one of my usual nicknames. The usually stoic man sobbed into my shoulder, and I gripped the back of his shirt, unable to do much else in my state. After what felt like hours, he pulled away, sniffling. "I was so worried...why?" He mumbled, "Why'd you do it?"
I looked away, guilt tugging at my heart. I fiddled with my fingers, not knowing how to put it. "I'm weak, Shizuo." Saying his name correctly felt foreign on my tongue. "I'm no God. I'm just a broken man. And I suppose that's all I ever have been..." I paused, before continuing. "For years I convinced myself that I was immortal, a God, but deep down I always new the truth. It just took me nearly getting killed to realize it." Shizuo seemed taken aback, swallowing hard. I refused to meet his gaze, and continued to speak. "I hurt people, I ruin lives, I give people the information they need, but at the price of others. And I thought it was okay, after all, the humans were just pieces in my magnificent game. But as it turns out, I'm just another pawn in a game I can't control..." I gripped the blankets on my lap, biting my lip. I felt strong arms wrap around me once again, Shizuo's words soothing my troubled mind. "We're all human Izaya, that's life...the only nonhuman person we know is Celty, and she faces hardships everyday because of that. Embrace your humanity, and be the real you. And if anyone tried to hurt you because of that, they'll have me to deal with."
I was quiet, and hugged the strong man back, inhaling his scent. All I could do in this moment was find comfort inside his embrace.