CHAPTER 14
Lucas's truth
The seven friends were once again gathered around a big fire pit. They had not moved from next to the lake yet, concerned that the guards were getting close to them. At least they were now out in the open so they could not get ambushed.
Victor heard her approach but did not shift his weight around at all. He was sitting on the edge of the grassy slope, his feet dangling in the mid-air.
Felicity's long strides barely made any sound as she walked over fresh green grass that, in other lighting, resembled the color of her eyes. Her narrow bright eyes had now switched almost magically to the kind of blue the sky was painted in at the moment. Victor took a long look at her. She was beautiful but he knew she was not nearly one of the important people amongst the group.
Felicity did not feel the need to greet him upon her arrival, so she simply sat close to him, their arms touching with the slightest of movements. She sighed, hoping his eyes would meet hers once more.
She studied his clenched jaw line, his long nose and his black eyes. His skin was dark but seemed smooth. Victor was completely different from her, in character and appearance-wise but, to her, he seemed ideal.
She leaned to the side and rested her head to his shoulder without even doubting her moves. He did not flinch and Felicity took that as a good sign. Her heart was beating faster but her body was relaxing and she did not hesitate to close her eyes and drift into a short yet sweet sleep.
***
Sonia found him sitting by the lakeside. She was hoping for a little privacy for her thoughts but she was too lazy to leave the area so she decided to approach him instead.
'Lucas? Would you mind if I sit here for a while?' she asked with a crooked smile that seemed kind of silly on her full lips.
'Came to see the sunset, did you?' he asked. 'You can sit here as long as you want,' he added before vacantly staring across the distance. The sun was about to set and its golden glow made the lake shimmer and switch colors as seconds rushed by. Sonia sat down by him.
'I'm just here to clear my head,' she confessed quietly. 'It's a hard task, you know,' she said jokingly and looked at him but he was still distracted from his own thoughts, still lost inside the sparkling lake. 'At least Lucas understands.' She moved closer to him, their arms brushed together awkwardly. 'How are you holding up?' she asked and looked into his eyes.
'I'll make it,' he answered under a sigh.
Sonia could not help but notice the nostalgia and sorrow in his voice. 'It's okay to miss her,' she reassured him. 'We all do.'
But Lucas was not ready to open the subject so he simple zipped up his sweater. 'It's getting colder. Are you not cold?' he asked, his low voice cracking behind the zipper.
'I'm-I'm good, thanks,' she said. Sonia was sure she was not going to make him admit anything without him wanting to so she gave up on that matter. 'Are we leaving tomorrow morning?'
'Yeah, we need to get moving and we've picked up so much food!' he said, suddenly thrilled by their progress.
'And ... are you sure about where we're headed? I mean, we did leave the school in a rush,' she said and looked down, trying not to betray his trust.
Lucas was overrun by fear and doubt. He could feel his pulse beating close to his neck and as a second passed and Sonia's eyes widened, he could practically feel his throat turn into a big knot causing him to trip onto his own words.
'I will be honest with you, as I've always been. But if I do so, do you swear that you won't tell a soul?' he asked, avoiding to make eye contact.
'What is this all about?' she wondered.
'I won't say a thing if you can't keep your mouth shut,' he answered abruptly.
'Fine then. I swear. Tell me now. What is it that I'm missing?' she requested persistently and her eyes glared at the last rays of sunlight.
'I' can't be sure about anything,' he admitted with a shaky voice. Sonia could barely recognize him. Sure, his appearance had not changed a bit but everything else about him, his voice, his words ... Everything seemed out of place.
'What do you mean?' she asked steadily, trying to make him open up.
'I never thought this would be so hard. I-I honestly believed everything was under control. But we're headed to an unknown place,' he confessed in a whisper as he tried to avoid her piercing gaze that made his eyes sting even more.
'So ... we could be facing a dead-end?' she asked next and felt her heart jumping through her heavy chest.
'I tried to-The map is only a draft made based on simple calculations. My gut is telling me it's right. But I shouldn't have made you all lean on this,' he answered.
Sonia buried herself between her arms for a couple of seconds. She realized how exhausted she was at that point. She knew that was not the right thing to do after Lucas had just spilled his secret out to her but he refused to face the world before calming herself.
'You should have told us,' she said back to him. 'What you did was ... selfish and childish and you know it!' she yelled as waves of sudden anger filled her insides. 'Calm down. Don't scare him off,' her gut told her.
'You think I don't know all this? That I was a fool to believe I could treat you like this? I can't sleep at night because of all the guilt eating me slowly...' he yelled back and cleared his throat right after. He looked down at his feet again. 'I'm sorry; I really am. I was just hoping at least you would understand. I didn't want to disappoint you but that's all I ever seem to do.'
His words stung her. 'I won't tell the others. I gave you my word for it. But I need you to be honest toward me from now on. No more secrets, got it?' she asked trying to come across cold yet reliable.
Lucas failed to fake a smile. Instead, he rubbed his hands together like a fly rubbing its feet upon stepping onto someone's leftovers.
Sonia got up without giving him a second glance. He was not being himself, she thought again. And he was allowed to do so for once. 'Lucas is a person too,' she silently reminded herself as she descended the grassy slope. 'He is allowed to be uncertain and insecure at times.'
***
The setting was almost the same as every night the children had spent outside New Earth. Big, wooden logs replaced the stones they had been using as seats and the fire pit was slightly larger but those were the only differences between that night and the previous one. Two wild rabbits were cooking right over it, their bodies hanging from a thick stick that looked like a spear.
Felicity was sitting on Sonia's left side, Sonia was curled next to Carlos and Anne was sitting a seat away from him. Victor was sitting on the ground, right across them, his dark eyes gleaming through the sparks of the fire. Pierre was standing; his back barely supported by the trunk of an old tree. Lucas was standing on the left side of the fire from Carlos' point of view.
'So...' Anne began speaking to break the tension that had started to build up minutes ago. 'What do you guys think the people in that city will be like?' she asked, desperate to hide the anxiety in her voice.
'Three headed and green,' Carlos answered and a few actual giggles echoed all around the pack.
'I'm being serious!' she pretended to complain.
'I guess we're going to be the odd ones out!' Sonia remarked, ignoring the possibility that the city did not even exist. 'But people adapt to new circumstances quite easily I suppose...' she added trying to be as general as possible.
'Lucas!' Pierre called. 'Do you reckon there's any chance that in case, you know, things don't go as planned, we could find shelter in the Island?' he asked catching everyone by surprise.
'Um ... I haven't-uh...' Lucas mumbled incoherently and drops of sweat started falling from the sides of his forehead.
'I mean, a bunch of kids wouldn't take much space. I thought about it and it's really the only alternative. We couldn't possibly return home,' he said confidently.
'Right,' Lucas said. 'You're right. It is the only alternative. But we should think positive thoughts. The Island is a place of torture and we should only go there as a last resort.'
'Agreed,' Pierre answered and stared at the rest of the pack who were gazing at him with their mouths dropped.
At that moment, Carlos whispered something into Sonia's ear and her roaring laughter covered the loud cracking of the small twigs breaking inside the fire.
'I can't do that!' she protested while laughing.
'Yes you can. As a matter of fact, you will. I'm sure everyone's wants Sonia to read us a story, right guys?' he asked but did not get an answer right away.
'Sure,' Felicity answered after a couple of seconds and Anne agreed shortly after so Carlos got up to his feet and came back holding Sonia's book like a prize. At that moment Victor got up and moved away from them without saying a word but Sonia was more than pleased she would not have to share her favorite book with him.
Carlos placed the book on Sonia's hands but it felt heavier than a book should. After flipping through some pages, her fingers stopped on a page familiar to her. It was the story of a beautiful girl that sacrificed herself for true love; at least that was all Sonia could recall of the story.
Sonia had always been somehow convinced that true love was nothing more than another children's story, another make believe for hopeless romantics to make it through the day. And Sonia had no time for fairytales. However, she forced herself to start reading the story, quietly at first but bravely and lively after a sentence or two.
'Once upon a time, in a faraway place, lived a beautiful girl; the most beautiful girl that had set foot on Earth. She lived in her own castle with big windows, a bedroom with enough space for ten people to sleep in and a big backyard filled with exotic flowers. The girl woke up late in the morning, opened the curtains and loved to sing to the birds who kept her company.'
'The birds and the trees and even the little bugs loved watching her because of her magical beauty and astonishing voice. Even The Sea wanted to befriend the lovely girl. So, one sunny day, when the girl opened her window and stared at The Sea, she spoke to the girl, catching her by surprise.'
''Good morning beautiful girl!' she called. 'Would you like to come and play with me? There's fresh water and cute little fish for you to play with.' But the girl simply flipped away her blonde hair and ignored The Sea. 'My friends are the birds and the squirrels,' she answered. 'I don't need you as a friend.''
'The Sea cried that night but the next morning she had come up with a plan. 'Tell me what you want, girl, and I'll bring it to you,' she told the girl the next morning and the greedy girl asked for a chest filled with golden coins. And there, in front of the girl's door was a big chest filled with golden coins. And The Sea asked, 'will you come outside and play with me now? There's sand and starfish waiting for you.'
The girl responded, 'Maybe,' and then shut her window.'
'A few days passed that turned into weeks that turned into months. Still, The Sea was waiting for the pretty girl to come and visit her. The girl had grown a little older and had spent all her coins on expensive dresses and crowns. In the morning, as usual, the girl opened her window and looked out into The Sea. And The Sea looked back at her and said, 'Little girl, you've grown even prettier now. What can I do to make you my friend?''
''I want diamonds!' the girl answered without a second thought. 'Bring me the world's shiniest diamonds and I might turn up near the shore one day.''
'The Sea was desperate for company so she took the girl's word and the next day, two bags of beautiful glimmering diamonds arrived at the girl's doorstep. The girl gladly received the gift.'
'More days passed. Days turned into weeks that turned into months that turned into years. The girl had grown into the most beautiful woman. Her beauty was now so radiant that trees leaned inside her window to absorb some of her light, as if she was the Sun itself.'
'The Sea decided to make a last attempt to approach the young woman. 'Pretty girl, you've grown to be the most beautiful of women. Your light resembles that of the sun. How can I be your friend for the remaining years of my life?' she asked.'
'The young woman took a few minutes to think on it. She had all the money a person could ask for, she had friends and of course her beauty. What was missing?'
''Love,' she answered, 'I want you to bring me love. If you can do that I promise to belong to you.''
''But, is my love not enough?' The Sea wondered, however she took the girls request into account. The day went by, and the next went by as well. Two nights later, a prince arrived on the girl's doorstep, holding a bouquet of roses and asking for her heart. The girl was happy.'
'The girl was happy for the following days and weeks and months. One day, the prince asked the girl to meet him at the beach when the sun went down. The girl smiled. She combed her hair and painted her lips as she waited for dusk to arrive.'
'When the sun went down, the young lady went to the shore and waited for her prince. Minutes passed and after one hour her love was nowhere to be found. The girl started crying and her cracking voice as she called for him interrupted The Sea's sleep.'
''What's the matter, pretty girl?' The Sea asked. 'What has happened?''
''My prince; he's nowhere to be found!' she answered.'
''I couldn't take your coins,' The Sea answered, 'because you spent it all. I couldn't take your diamonds, because you're wearing them around your neck. But I could take love away from you, and so I did.''
''Why would you do that?' the girl asked, still weeping.'
''You were blinded by your selfishness and greed. You became ungrateful and forgot the promise you made.''
''But-but I love him,' the girl protested.'
''If you love him as much as you say, would you do anything about him?' The Sea asked her.'
''Yes! Please, set him free! I'll give you anything in return,' the beautiful girl begged.'
''Fine,' The Sea answered. 'You must be my friend and you must join my kingdom of darkness and sadness. That way you'll understand the pain I had to go through.''
'The beautiful woman started crying again, silently this time, as she made her way into The Sea. As she walked deeper into the waves, she saw her prince getting out of the water in slow, steady steps.'
'Before diving her head inside The Sea that would swallow her forever, she whispered, 'It's not that I forgot the promise I made. I just never learned to swim.' And she was gone.'
Sonia closed the book with trembling hands.
'Well, that was depressing.' Carlos commented before getting up and reaching his backpack for a snack.
But Sonia stayed there, staring at the book. 'How could this be my favorite childhood book?' she wondered to herself. 'Maybe I was weird even back then.'
***
Lucas opened his eyes and found himself tied up in a chair. 'This is not real,' was his first thought. 'It's only a dream.' And that seemed to comfort him a little. His heart stopped racing wildly.
He looked around him but all he could see was darkness. And then a spark of light. The spark came closer and closer, running on the ground. Lucas inspected it and understood what the mysterious, warm light was. It was fire.
The spark of fire formed a circle around Lucas and he watched it go around. 'It's only a dream Dreams can't hurt me,' he repeated loudly.
The circle of fire was complete and now the fire rose up, higher than his head. Lucas did not panic. Until the circle started growing smaller and tighter around him. His eyes were burning. 'It's a dream.' he said again but he could not stay calm anymore.
Lucas shook his head uncontrollably as the fire drew nearer. His hands would not budge, neither would the rest of his body. He started shifting his weight from the left feet of the chair to the right ones again and again until he knocked it down, together with his body.
It hurt. And Lucas thought for a second that this was not really a dream. But he rejected the thought and started shaking his body as hard as he could while avoiding the fire that had closed in dangerously.
He contorted his body like a worm and tried moving but his powers had abandoned him as the fear had shut his body down. He wrapped himself in the fetal position, the chair still tied underneath him. 'Don't surrender,' he thought. 'Don't. You can fight through this.'
But he could not.
He woke up kicking and shaking his hands, his head stuck to the right side of his neck. He was sweating all over his body and even though he realized it was nothing more than a nightmare, his hands kept shaking for long before he could fall asleep again.
***
I wasn't going to write anything tonight because I feel exhausted but there are a lot of things to do tomorrow. To be honest, I'm kinda hoping somebody will find this journal in case something goes wrong. But I don't want to think what could go wrong. Because there are lots of things that could.
For example, Lucas is not sure we're heading the right way. He hasn't failed to guide us safely so far but he is not entirely sure that there is even an actual city to begin with. Sure, there is a map but it is roughly made. For now, I trust him to lead us. He has promised to tell me everything from now on.
On another note, Felicity confessed to the rest of the group that she had told Cynthia about her leaving the dome. They did not take it lightly, obviously, but there's less tension now that she has come clear.
I just wish that we could be done with all these secrets. Everybody's entitled to their privacy but I don't think I can handle being lied to anymore. We are a team now and I think it's time we start acting like one.
It's partly my fault, actually. I try to be trustworthy and please everybody but that can't happen in reality. I end up feeling guilty for withholding information from the rest. I guess I'll have to try and stop pushing people to open up to me. It gets all of us in trouble. I might as well let my friends handle their responsibility their own way instead of bossing them around. It's gonna be hard at first, and I'll probably make the same mistake again but I can only blame myself if I don't try it at all.
***
It was a quiet night out in the open. A night too quiet, Pierre thought. Pierre was alone as Anne, his partner for the second shift, was fast asleep. His mind wandered around the darkness of the night, the silence of the steep forest. Something felt wrong.
Pierre noticed something was missing but he could not quite put his finger on it. He closed his eyes and opened them again, trying to figure out what made his palms sweat so nervously. The bugs had stopped chirping long ago and only a soft breeze kept him company. He felt like he was being watched.
Pierre's mind panicked at the sound of a twig breaking in close proximity. Someone, something was moving closer and closer. He did not move. His washed-out eyes scanned the perimeter for signs of their prosecutors and after a minute he met the gaze of three sets of eyes hidden in a nearby bush.
Pierre refrained from letting himself panic as he knew no positive results would come from losing his mind. He tried to think as clearly as he could, given the situation. Finally, he understood there was a reason why the guards had not yet made a move; they were scared.
With that idea on mind, Pierre made up a quick plan. He carefully woke Anne up and tried to calmly explain what was going on. Next, they woke the rest of their friends up and soon they were all up and ready to face the guards' attacks. At least they thought they were.
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