'Cause you know the truth hurts
But secrets kill
Can't help thinkin' that I love it still
Still here, there must be something real
'Cause you know the good die young
But so did this
And so it must be better than I think it is
Gimme those eyes, it's easy to forgive
-Hopeless
-Halsey
-Cashmere Cat
•••••
I sighed as I dropped my bag onto the couch, finally school was over and all I had to do was wait for my report which would be mailed to me by the school.
My shoulder was almost fully healed, and I was grateful because it would have been a very uncomfortable situation to dress up fancy and plaster on a fake smile for graduation which was in three weeks.
Three weeks seemed like a long time, but if I've learnt anything from my experience in Grey's Town, it would be that time seemed to speed up in this tiny town.
The last couple days of school have been tough, with Ryder avoiding me and making no effort to even try to greet me. My life had lately become extremely monotonous, I was repeating the same cycle everyday.
Get up, go to school, eat, breathe and sleep. If I wasn't going to school I either stared blankly at the television screen or locked myself in my room and lost myself in my thoughts.
These thoughts were often about Ryder, about us, and that usually ended up in me crying. I knew I needed to give myself time, but just how much? I didn't know if I could take the dull ache in my heart, which had become a norm, anymore.
I shook my head as I opened up the fridge and frowned once I saw I was out of milk.
Great.
I groaned and contemplated living without milk for the next few days. The thing is, I wouldn't have minded if I hadn't gotten my period that day and wasn't craving cereal. I sighed as I made my way to my room to change out of my comfy clothes and into something more appropriate.
When I got into my room I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. My red, swollen eyes weren't fading and neither were the bags under my eyes, anytime soon. I had on a plain white shirt and checkered pyjama bottoms.
I tilted my head to the side and studied my pants, at first glance they just looked like ordinary pants with a black and dark green checkered pattern. I shrugged and tied my hair into a high ponytail while grabbing a sweater from my cupboard and making my way out of my apartment to the store.
It wasn't like I had anyone to impress anyways, I thought as I made my way to the supermarket.
It felt good as a cool breeze blew, gently ruffling the ends of my ponytail and nipping at my nose. I needed a breath of fresh air, it was a good change compared to my usual stuffy room. I passed colourful apartment blocks as I continued down the pavement, watching as an elderly couple walked past me smiling in greeting.
I returned their smiles and found that even that small gesture, just one tiny smile, seemed to brighten my mood by a lot.
I turned into the parking lot of the supermarket and continued straight into the shops, walking to the dairy products section of the store.
I stood in front of the freezer full of milk cartons, varieties of yoghurts and ice cream among other products. The cold air from the freezer blew against my face making me shiver, I was grateful I had worn a sweater.
I sifted through the cartons, looking at the best before date before purchasing any. I picked one and made my way to the till, ready to go back to my room and stare at the walls.
I strolled through the different aisles and gazed at each shelves contents, mentally ticking off which items I had and which I needed. The store wasn't crowded, thankfully, however there were several people standing in the queue.
One of which I recognized.
"Hey Riley!" an overly chirpy voice exclaimed as I made my way over to the till, my lips turned down in a permanent frown.
"Hey Scott," I said meekly, mustering up a small smile.
Scott didn't seem to notice my reluctance to talk and stepped back to allow the two people standing in between him and I to go in front of him, as to keep the queue moving.
As soon as he was standing in front of me, his face glowing with a bright smile, he enveloped me into his arms. I stiffened in his embrace, not quite expecting it. The smell of coffee invaded my senses as I slowly and awkwardly wrapped my arms around him.
Scott pulled away, a twinkle in his blue eyes. His golden blonde hair was gelled up into spikes, making his facial features seem more boyish than usual.
"So, how have you been? I feel like I haven't seen you in years," he friendly said, his eyes scanning my face.
I shrugged my shoulders, realising I really haven't seen Scott since the whole drama with Brandon struck.
"I've been good. What about you?" I asked, not wanting to be rude and brush him off.
He flashed me another smile, two rows of perfectly straight white teeth gleamed back at me.
"I've been good," Scott's smile faltered as he stepped up, now next in line to pay.
"Uh," he stuttered, turning around to face me again, avoiding my eyes. "How's Ryder?" he muttered lowly, I almost didn't catch it.
My breathing hitched as his name sent a sharp stab to my chest. I lifted my hand that wasn't clenching the milk carton and held it over the place where my heart was beating rapidly against my chest.
"He's okay," I added lowly, "I hope."
Scott scratched the back of his head, his eyes filling with confusion.
"Aren't you two dating?" he asked, his cheeks turning rosy as he fumbled for his cash at the till.
The cashier gave him a bored look as he apologised and paid for the few items in his hands. The cashier placed them in a plastic bag and signalled for me to come.
I paid the cashier the correct amount of money for the carton of milk and shook my head when she asked if I wanted a plastic bag.
Save the turtles.
I shook my head at the weird thought and grabbed my carton, walking at a slow pace towards the exit of the store with Scott trailing quietly beside me. He was still waiting for an answer to his question, were Ryder and I still dating.
I tried to prolong answering his question, afraid if I said it out loud it would make the situation seem more real and more permanent than it already was. Somewhere deep down, I had this huge hope we would work things out.
But on the surface, I knew it was hopeless.
"No, we broke up," I said quietly, as we stepped out of the supermarket into the cool air.
Scott looked taken back for a second before he recovered and rubbed at the nape of his neck.
"I'm sorry to hear," he said, but his expression didn't look sorry. In fact, he looked like a kid who was told to buy anything he wanted from a candy store.
I narrowed my eyes at his expression but didn't say anything, only giving him a small nod as an answer. He seemed to have a hard time controlling his excitement at the news of mine and Ryder's break up.
It struck me as odd that Scott was unaware of mine and Ryder's split, since news got passed around Grey's Town faster than Usain Bolt on a track.
We stopped walking once we reached Scott's car which he opened and placed his groceries in the trunk.
"So..." he trailed off, giving me the idea he wanted to ask me something.
A part of my brain figured out what it might be, while the other prayed and hoped he just wanted to converse about our history marks.
"Do you want me to give you a ride home, or did you drive here?" Scott asked, trying to buy time.
I bit my lip and glanced up at the grey sky, the colour a painful reminder of a certain someone's intense gaze. The clouds looked like they were about to give in to the water they were holding, and I did not want to be around when that happened.
I assessed the options I had.
Option one, accept Scott's offer and allow him to drop me off knowing very well he might be trying to ask me out.
Or, avoid Scott and the rejection you'll give him by walking home and risking ending up getting soaked if it starts to rain.
I glanced up at Scott as he waited patiently, his eyes gleaming with excitement. I opened my mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the shrill sound of my ringtone.
I flashed him an apologetic look and swiped the answer icon when I read Violet's name.
"Hello," I said, sounding slightly monotonous.
"Don't sound so excited to hear from me now," Violet sarcastically answered.
I grinned and shook my head, even though she couldn't see me. For someone so tiny and cute, she sure had a whole lot of sass.
"Sorry Violet, what do you need?" I asked, my voice sounding more light this time.
I heard shuffling on the other end of the line, as if she was maybe walking around.
"Well, I was wondering if you wanted Cameron and I to pick you up today?" she said.
I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, wondering why they would want to pick me up. Was there some meeting I might of missed? No, Violet didn't say anything about that.
"Riley, you still there?" Violet asked.
"Yeah," I answered, taking a few steps away from Scott's questioning eyes. "Vi, why would you want to pick me up?"
Violet sighed on the other end of the line and I could picture her shaking her head at me.
"Riley, did you forget today was the championships?" Violet asked slowly.
It took me a minute to realize what she was talking about, until it registered in my head. Today was the day Ryder would fight for the title of Grey's Town's champion street fighter. With everything that had happened, it slipped my mind that I had promised to be his cheerleader on the day of the fight.
Did that promise still count even if I wasn't his anything anymore?
"Riley? I swear to God if you hung up-"
"No, I-I'm sorry Vi. I spaced out for a second there," I said weakly, running a hand down my face.
A million thoughts swam around in my mind, all of them focused on one thing, and one thing only.
Ryder.
"Riley, you don't have to come if you don't want to. I'm sure he'll understand," Violet said sympathetically, before she quickly shushed someone who was speaking in the background.
"No, I'll come. I'll be there," I added quickly, not wanting to miss out on an opportunity to see and possibly speak to Ryder.
I promised him I'd be there, and even if he did break his promise to me, I wasn't him.
"I don't know Riley, it's okay if you-"
"I want to come, please Vi," I said longingly. I heard Violet sigh on the other end, and I smiled knowing I had won her over. "Pick me up at seven?"
She mumbled an okay and I cut the call, turning to face Scott, who was curiously looking at me.
"You know what Scott? I think I'll walk home, I could do with the air," I joked, quickly glancing at the clouds.
Scott wearily scanned my face but managed a forced smile and one last attempt to try and give me a ride home.
"You sure? It wouldn't be an issue, I was on my way to Wesley Storm's house and yours is just on the way," he offered once again.
My eyes widened and I wondered if I heard right. Wesley Storm? As in Noah's little brother's potential kidnapper? My curiosity got the best of me and forced me to question Scott.
"Why were you going to his house?" I asked, glancing at Scott's immaculate appearance.
He sported a beige pullover and a white shirt underneath, with khaki trousers and polished shoes. He didn't seem like he was in a gang, a golf club yes, but not a gang.
Then again it wouldn't surprise me, Grey's Town made me realize even the impossible was possible.
"I was on my home yesterday from my dad's office, when I saw him beaten to a pulp on the side of the road, struggling to walk. I offered him a ride to the hospital, but he just wanted a ride home," Scott explained, his eyes flashing with sadness as he remembered Wesley's state. "Anyways, he left his bag in my car and forgot to take it when we reached his house. I was just on my way to return it."
Already, while Scott was telling his story, I began to piece together a plan inside my head. A plan that might help me save Noah's brother.
If he was still alive.
I scolded myself for thinking such, and opened my mouth.
"I can return it for you if you want," I offered helpfully, slight desperation in my voice.
Scott bit his lip and glanced at me curiously, "Why? Do you know him?"
I thought of a quick lie and it flowed effortlessly off of my tongue, "Wesley and I? Yeah we do! We both got detention together and instantly hit it off. I guess I'd like to check up on him too, since he got beaten up and all."
Scott gave me a disbelieving look but I could see him slowly start to give in.
"Plus, he doesn't take too well around strangers. He might not even answer the door if you go, it's better for someone who knows him to go," I added, seeing Scott nod understandingly.
"Yeah, you're right," Scott said opening his trunk and pulling out an olive green school bag. He passed it to me and I thanked him, holding it as if it was a precious jewel.
This was my key to finding out more about Wesley Storm and Noah's brother.
I waved goodbye to Scott and spun on my heel, making my way to my apartment. Once I was behind the closed door, I placed the milk carton in the fridge and unzipped Wesley's bag.
I poured its contents out onto my couch table and sifted through it, trying to find something to blackmail him with.
I was hoping I would find something like drugs, that would get him into trouble if anyone had to find it.
Sweat formed on my eyebrow as my heart pounded in my chest, giving me the feeling I was doing something wrong. Agreed, going through Wesley's bag was an invasion of privacy however it was for a good cause. It was for Noah.
I felt my bubble of hope deflate in disappointment as I only found work books and pencils. I slumped back against the couch, trying to form another plan.
I couldn't use anything in his bag to blackmail him, however I still had it. He'd need it once he went back to school, and so the only polite thing to do was return it.
Maybe it wasn't enough to get me Noah's brother, but it was enough to get me to see Wesley Storm, and maybe I could coax some information out of him.
•••••
That's how I found myself standing in front of Wesley Storm's front door, knocking three times on the hard wood.
Thunder rumbled somewhere in the distance and I shivered as I pulled Ryder's trench coat tighter around my body. My mind flashed back to a time when I complimented Ryder on said coat.
"You know, I really like this coat," I complimented Ryder as he fixed his hair in front of my mirror.
Ryder caught my eye in the mirror and winked, "I prefer leather jackets. They make me look like a young James Dean."
He cuffed the sleeves of the trench coat and I walked up behind him, and wrapped my arms around my waist. I pressed my cheek against his back and inhaled his intoxicating scent.
"This makes you look more sophisticated, and drool worthy," I mumbled, a smile playing on my lips.
He chuckled, I felt the vibrations against my cheek. Nothing felt more like home.
"Drool worthy? That's a new one," he said, turning so he faced me.
He hair was gelled back with one strand hanging on his forehead, I loved this look on him and he hardly did it.
Ryder tilted my chin up so that I was staring into his still grey orbs, swirling with happiness. He grinned at my dazed expression and kissed my nose.
I pushed up onto my toes and captured his lips in a starved kiss. He laughed against my mouth, making it harder for me to kiss me. Lately Ryder seemed to be more happier, I liked to think it was because of me.
I snapped out of my memory as the door knob jiggled and opened slightly, revealing a boy with emerald green eyes and brown hair hanging over his forehead.
His eyes flickered anxiously over my face, he looked scared. I felt a pang in my chest as I looked at his scared eyes.
"Is this Wesley Storm's house?" I asked, knowing very well that the boy at the door was Wesley Storm, however I faked ignorance.
His mouth pressed into a thin line as he opened his mouth to speak.
"Who are you?" he asked, ignoring my question and instead asking one of his own.
I was slightly taller than him but couldn't see into his house because of the small space he occupied. If only he opened it slightly further.
"I'm Riley Carter, we go to the same school," I said kindly, waiting for a flash of a recognition in his expression. It never came.
I cleared my throat and continued, "He left his bag in my friend's car yesterday. I'm here to return it."
I held up the olive green school bag, seeing his face relax. His mouth turned down in a frown as he reached a skinny arm through the door, ready to take the bag from my hand.
I pulled the bag away from his reach and watched as he narrowed his eyes at me.
"I'm Wesley Storm and this is my bag, I'd like it back please," he said, struggling to be polite.
I quickly thought of some way to bring up Noah's brother, realising he wasn't going to invite me in
"I'll give it back, but first I want something in return," I said, watching his face slightly pale. "What do you know about the murder of Mr and Mrs Drew?"
Wesley's eyes widened and he shook his head, struggling to keep his cool.
"I-I don't know what you're talking about," he said, obviously trying to lie by the way his cheeks flushed and he avoided eye contact with me.
"What about their missing son?" I interrogated, my voice slightly harder than the first time.
Wesley continued to stare at the ground, his breathing slightly increasing.
"I seriously don't know what you're talking about, please just give me my bag," he pleaded, lifting his head to meet my eyes.
Guilt shone in his emerald orbs and I knew I was close to cracking his shell.
"Wesley, all you have to do is tell me where the missing child is and I'll leave you alone," I said soothingly, taking a step closer to the front door.
"I told you, I don't know-"
"Is there a problem?" a strong voice asked from behind me.
Wesley visibly relaxed once he heard the voice. I spun on my heel and came face to face with a woman glaring at me.
I stuttered as I took in her appearance.
Her brown skin contrasted against her white shirt and her hair was braided down her back. She had a silver nose ring and cold brown eyes, the colour of mud. Several tattoos covered her arms and she wore green cargo pants, she was slightly taller than me and glared down at me.
"Who are you?" she asked, her voice stiff as she took in my appearance.
"Riley Carter," I stuttered out, intimidated by the scary woman.
She raised an eyebrow, signalling that I needed to give her more than just my name. I felt sweat trickle down my back as I scanned her face, she was truly beautiful. Maybe I would have seen it if she wasn't boring holes into my head.
"I-I go to the same school as Wesley and I was just returning his bag," I said, holding up the bag.
She broke off her glaring to stare at the bag in my outstretched hand. The woman swiped it from my grasp and pushed past me.
"Thank you for returning it, next time please leave it at the office and he'll fetch it there," she said hardly.
I gaped at her and stood rooted to the spot as she gave me one last glare, before slamming the door in my face.
Still shaken from the unexpected visit, I made my way down the path which lead to Wesley's house. Just as I exited the gate, I turned to glance at Wesley's house for one last time. My eyes wandered up to the second story, where I connected eyes with Wesley Storm.
He stared at me from the window, his jaw clenched. I tore my eyes away from his face and continued walking down the path, making my way back to my apartment where Violet would be coming to pick me up in less than twenty minutes.
Maybe I was wrong, maybe Wesley didn't have anything to do with Noah's missing brother. But even as I thought it, my heart disagreed and knew very well, Wesley Storm knew exactly what had happened to Noah's brother.
•••••
"Are you sure you want to be here?" Violet asked for the fifth time that night as we stood in the warehouse, which was more crowded than usual.
I nodded, knowing I would snap at her if I opened my mouth. Violet tore her concerned eyes away from my face as I kept my eyes fixed on the ring. Everyone was waiting for the big fight, the final showdown. The championships.
Noah and Kyle were prepping Ryder in his room, while Cameron, Violet and I stayed behind to keep our spaces. I was glad we had come slightly early to get right up front so that we could see everything that went on in the ring.
I was already put into a sour mood by my useless trip to Wesley Storm's house, and wasn't in any mood to see Ryder beat the shit out of some arrogant wannabe fighter.
Yet at the same time, it was another opportunity to see him and show him I still cared about him. That was always our biggest problem in our relationship, he never really believed he deserved to be cared for.
While we waited for the fight to start, I tried to think up reasons as to why our relationship wasn't meant to last. I tried to convince myself it was better we weren't together anymore, but my attempts weren't very persuading.
I could barely hear Violet as she tried to make conversation. People screamed into my ear even though the ring was empty and I saw expressions of irritation on most people's faces, probably wondering what was taking so long.
Eventually Violet gave up when she realized I couldn't hear her.
After a few minutes, Noah and Kyle pushed aside people to try and get to us. I smiled warmly at them and they returned it. Noah came to stand beside me and I grinned as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder, comfortingly.
The crowd roared and my eyes swept the ring for the reason. Ryder's opponent had entered the ring. He was tall and well built, he looked like any other fighter that fought here.
But what made the crowd go into a frenzy, was Ryder who had entered the ring shortly. His features were hard as his eyes swept over every person and landed on me.
I saw his eyes widen, and he managed a small smile. A smile that made my heart flutter, the only reaction I had gotten from him since our break up.
I cheered along with the crowd and his small smile stretched into a full blown grin when I cheered his name. Violet glanced at me, a surprised look on her face. Noah grinned down at me and hooted at Ryder.
"Welcome, to the Grey's Town Street Fighting Championships!" the host, whom I noticed was Barry Bateman, announced into a microphone. The crowd cheered louder.
"Today we have, Matteo fighting against Ryder, both are famous in the ring and both are thirsty for the title of the champion. Only rule, no weapons. Only condition, you fight till the death," he roared into the microphone.
My eyes widened and I felt my heart skip a beat. Death? I glanced worriedly at Violet and Noah, they seemed just as surprised as me. I connected eyes with Ryder and saw him soften once he saw my worried expression.
He never told me about this, he must have known about it. All fighters who entered the championships knew about the conditions, which meant he purposefully left this out.
I shook my head furiously at him, pleading with me eyes he get out of the ring. Ryder tore his grey eyes away from mine and took up his fighting stance.
Barry blew a whistle and instantly Matteo sprang into action. He delivered a powerful punch to Ryder's shoulder which he blocked with his arm. Ryder swung his leg out and kicked Matteo in his abdomen.
Matteo hunched over and this gave Ryder a chance to bring his elbows furiously down into his back. Matteo groaned, but shot back up and wrapped his arms around Ryder's neck.
I gasped and held onto Noah as Ryder struggled against his grip. Matteo raised Ryder off the ground so that his legs were now suspended in the air. Ryder scratched at Matteo's hands and eventually his movements slowed.
I held a hand over my mouth and released a breath as Ryder kicked his leg out, kicking Matteo in the same place on his abdomen. Matteo grunted and released him, Ryder gasped for air but quickly got to his feet.
I wiped at the tears that threatened to escape as I, not for the first time, realized Ryder was forced to fight for his life...again.
Matteo spun on his heel and delivered a painful kick to Ryder's ribs, Ryder's face contorted in pain as he clutched his ribs.
But that wasn't going to stop him.
Now furious, he wiped off the blood on his lip and sweat from his forehead as he threw punches so fast his arms were a blur. Matteo was caught off guard and was unable to block them.
To finish off, Ryder spun on his heel and delivered a kick to Matteo's face. Matteo fell forward and hit the ring floor with a thud. All was silent as Barry hopped into the ring and checked his pulse.
Ryder panted and clutched at his ribs, sweat dripped from his brown hair which clung to his forehead sticky with both blood and sweat.
"He's still alive," Barry said, only audible to the people standing in the front row.
"Finish him!" someone screamed at Ryder.
Ryder shook his head at Barry, "I refuse to kill him."
I let out a breath of relief and bit my lip as Ryder turned his head to look at me.
Barry stood to his full height, a head shorter than Ryder. His round form was squeezed into a cheap suit and the rolls on his chin wobbled as he opened and closed his mouth.
"Well folks, since Ryder is the only one standing," he trailed off adding suspense, "We have a winner!"
He held up Ryder's hand and the crowd broke out into cheers. Ryder smirked as Barry handed him the championship belt and held it up for everyone to see.
Ryder made his way out of the ring and pushed past the people standing at the entrance to the ring, ready to congratulate him. Noah, Kyle, Violet, Cameron and I made our way to his room. We passed the bodyguard and I nodded at him, which he returned.
"You fucking fool!" Kyle bellowed once the door shut behind me.
He pushed Ryder against the dresser and everyone held their breath as Ryder stood up.
"You didn't tell us you could have gotten killed!" Kyle yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Ryder's chest.
Ryder chuckled coldly, wiping the sweat off of his upper lip, "There's always a risk of dying in street fighting."
"But you didn't tell us you'd have to fight till the death," I said, surprising everyone.
Ryder ignored me and turned around to admire his championship belt. Kyle rolled his eyes but wrapped an arm around Ryder.
"Well done you piece of shit," he chuckled.
Ryder hugged him back and laughed with Kyle, Noah and Cameron hugged him next. Violet refused to hug him because she complained he stank, but congratulated him.
A telepathic communication passed through Ryder and our friends and in a few seconds all of them were exiting the room, making excuses it was too stuffy.
I was left alone with Ryder once the door swung shut behind Noah. I couldn't help but remember the last time we were alone, my face burned at the memory but I didn't say anything.
"Well done Wilson," I said, taking several steps closer to Ryder.
Ryder's smile didn't quite reach his eyes, "I hope you weren't doubting me Carter."
I rolled my eyes and stared into his stormy grey eyes, barely illuminated by the dim lighting provided by a single bulb.
I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling his body closer to mine. He automatically wrapped his arms around my waist as I leaned my head against his sweaty chest. He leaned his head against mine and sighed into my hair.
I closed my eyes and savoured the moment, trying to hold back my tears. This was not what we wanted, we were so stuck on trying to protect each other we just ended up destroying each other and now these stolen moments were all we had left.
I pressed a kiss to Ryder's warm skin, over his heart, and that's when sense kicked into him. He released me and pulled away, leaving me cold.
He avoided my eyes as he busied himself with cleaning his wounds.
"How long Ryder? How long are you going to deprive yourself of what you truly want?" I asked, wrapping my arms around my body, trying to hold myself together.
Ryder didn't answer and instead kept his back turned to me. I turned around and wrapped a hand around the door knob, giving it a hard tug. I had already suffered enough heartbreak from just being in his presence. Just as I was about to step out, his next words stopped me.
"For as long as it hurts to stay away Carter."
Even though I now knew he was hurting too, it didn't soothe my pain. It worsened it.
We were hopeless.
•••••
I know this update was two days late and I'm so sorry. I've had a shitty week and I only realized it when I saw that I hadn't published this chapter.
It slipped my mind, I'm sorry to all my readers.
-Grayx