It's been 3 hours since we have been at home after being caught. I couldn't even get a chance to comprehend this all happened soo quick.
I can't believe that I got caught from running away from my own house and Kasim I have no idea what was he doing at the King's Cross station at that hour.
Mannat beta meri taraf dekho... Mannat idhr dekho meri taraf ek baar.... Q bhaagi tum apnay he ghar say beta...
How do you expect me to explain you mama that I had planned off running away with a person and now has left me in the disaster to suffer all alone...
Mannat beta baat kro mujhsay, batao kuch beta kya waja thi... Ayesay khamosh na betho beta... Bolo kuch beta....
Mama....
I couldn't find words to explain her... I had no explanation for my mistake that I had made....
I hugged her and cried out for everything... For the mistake I had made in my life, for the blind love that I had for Alyaan, for everything..... For bringing up this all upon myself.....
Shh...!!. Mannat beta chup ho jao... Shh...!!.
Mama I'm sorry... Mujhay maaf krdain mujhai nai bhagna chahiye tha.... Mama please maaf kr dain....
I kept on crying....
Mannat beta mein tumsay naraaz nai hoon... Mujhai pta hai koi waja hai jiski waja say tumnay itna bara qadum uthaya hai.... Mein jaanti hoon beta koi cheez tumhay kaafi pareshaan kr rhi thi jiski waja say yeh sub hua hai....
A voice made us move away from each other...
Waah bhayee waah... Beti ghar say bhaagi hai or maa ossay galay laga rhi hai... Waah kya zamana a gya hai aab toh....
Phlay zid laga kr nokri krti rhi, or Allah jaanay kitnay larkoon say chkr chalati rhi hamaray peechay... Or aaj toh hud ho gayi ghar keh mulazim keh saath bhaag rhi thi oss mulazim ko bhi nai chora tumhari beti nay....
Khuda ka lakh lakh shukr hai keh iss ki asliyat pta chal gayi hai wrna is nay toh...
Tobah.. Tobah!!.
Her words stabbed me like a knife straight to heart... I wanted to shout and scream and to let everyone know that this isn't truth... But no words came out of my mouth... I stood there like a statue...
My mom moved me towards the side and stood right in front of her.
Apni zubaan smbhaal kr baar krain aap Aapa... Ek lafz bhi kaha na meri beti keh baaray mein khuda ki qasam mujhsay behtar koi nai ho ga....
Bari zubaan chalnay lagi hai tumhari acha hai Mehmood tumhay apni jotay keh neechay duba kr rkhta hai....
Apni bakwaas aap bund krain Aapa... Beti hai yeh meri.... Ek lafz nai sunoon gi aap keh is zehrelay muh say apni beti keh liye....
Wesay aap ko kb say meri beti ki fiqr hi nay lagi... Zubardsti apnay oss betay ko raazi kiya tha Mannat say shaadi keh liye... Toh aab krwain naa apnay betay ki shaadi Mannat say... Ab q peechay ho rheen hain... Krwain na apnay betay ki shaadi issay.....
Zubaan smbhaal kr baat kro Salma mujhsay... Aab toh mein kbhi na krwaoon apnay betay ki shaadi iss awara or bud kirdaar lrki say jo pta nai kitnay larkoon keh saath chakr chalaya ho iss nay....
Waah Aapa meri beti awaara or bud kirdaar toh aap ka beta kya hai haan... Woh toh jeysay doodh say dula hua hai naa.... Oss ka nai pta aapko... Pta bhi kya ho ga aapko... Kbhi fursat milay aapko dusroon ki zindagi barbaad krnay say toh apnay betay ko dekhain naa... Jo na jaanay kitni larkiyoon say ishq keh charchay ura rha hota hai.... Oss ka kya kahani gi aap... Kuch nai....
Aab ek kaam krain aap yahan say apni tashreef lay jayain or humay akela chor dain....
Jeysi maa wesi beti....
She muttered those words so that they could be heard clearly by us and went away.
I sat on the bed and held my head in my hands and cried out...
Yeh sub meri waja say hua hai meri waja say...
Nai beta iss mein tumhari koi ghalti nai hai....
Nai mama sb meri ghalti hai... Agr mein aaj na bhagti apnay ghar say yeh sb na hota aaj aapkeh saath, meray saath or na Badr keh saath.....
Mannat beta yeh sb likha hua tha tumhari qismat mein... Is sb ko koi bhi nai taal skta tha....
Beta meri taraf dekho... Or batao kya waja thi jiski waja say tum bhaagi thi....
Mama.....
Batao beta....
Taking in a deep breath I let everything out in front of Mama....
Yehi waja thi mama jiski waja say I ran away from my own house.... Maaf krain mama....
Beta shh!!... Chup ho jao....
Mujhai smjh nai a rhi q kiya Alyaan nay ayesa tumharay saath... Kya bigara tha humnay ooska.... Jiski itni bari aaj mil rhi hai...
Mama mujhai khud nai smjh a rha q kiya oss nay meray saath ayesa... Kya meri mohabbat oos keh liye suchi nai thi kya mama....??.
Aab koi faada nai hai Mannat beta... Ossnay kbhi bhi shayad tumhay apni mohabbat mana he nai tha.... Agr oos nay tumhay apni mohabbat mana hota na beta aaj yeh sub na hota.... Jiski saza aaj tumhay mil rhi hai...
Agr woh such mein tumsay pyaar krta tha naa toh woh khud tumhara haath mangnay aata idhr.....
Mama mujhai yaqeen nai a rha keh Alyaan jissay mein itni mohabbat krti thi aaj meray saath ayesa kray ga.....
Beta ek baat hamesha yaad rkhna.... Yeh jo aaj ka zamana hai yeh naa hr nazr say ek lrki ko kasoor waar ki nazr say dekhta hai.... Ghalti kisi or ki ho or bhugatna lrki ko prta hai....
Iss zamanay mein beta agr larki kuch ghalat kr bhi dayna ossay hamesha ki ek saza di jaati hai... Jiski waja say woh apnay aap ko hamesha keh liye kho dayti hai.... Kbhi bhi phkay jaysay nai hoti...
Yahan her kisi ko apni izzat ki hoti hai.. Kaheen lrki keh ghalat kaam ki waja say ur na jaye.... Hamesha ek orut ya lrki ko apni izaat khood rkhni prti hai beta.... Q keh yahan aab orut ya lrki ko log aab kuch nai smjhtay... Sirf faida dekhtay hain....
Smjhi beta aap.....
G.. G mama....
Q nai bataya tum ay beta mujhai yeh sub phlay...
Mama how could I tell u... I just fell for him... I always thought that he was the only one for me..just me and him and no one else....
Jb papa nay meray rishta ki baat krna shroo krdi mama mein bohat dar gayi thi kuch smjh nai a rha tha keh kya kroon or kya na kroon.... Farrah nay bhi mujhai bohat smjhaya mujhai mama.... Pr shayad mein bohat he kuch smjh rhi thi.... Keh osski bhi kahi hui baat bhi smjh nai ayi mama....
Bohat smjhaya tha Farrah nay.... Bohat smjhaya.... Kaash oos waqt mein nay oos ki baat sunli hoti.... Kaash!!!!!......
I let out all the feelings that I had in me... I couldnt carry them more with in me....
Mama came closer and hugged me and I I cried out in her arms....
This time she didn't stop me from crying....
I could feel the wetness over my head... I could feel she was crying... Because of me.... I wish I didn't do this.... I wish....
But all I could do was cry and wish that I shouldn't have taken this huge step....
Mannat beta rest krlo thora sa... Theik hai....
G mama....
She kissed me on my forehead and left.
I layed still on the bed as tears kept falling...
Farrah's words were ringing in my head....
She was soo right... But now I had nothing to do all I could do was cry...
Everything that happened kept flashing in my mind I couldn't stop thinking about it....
I turned towards my right side if the bed....
Why did u do this to me Alyaan??... Why??. Wasn't my love enough for you??. Why did you even give me idea of running away Alyaan??. Why??. What did I ever to deserve this all Alyaan??. Kya bigaara tha meinay Alyaan tumhara??.
These thoughts weren't leaving my mind at all....
I couldn't sleep with these thoughts in my mind.
I got up from the bed and went downstairs.
I heard some voices that were coming from the living room.
I stood by the wall silently and eva's dropped.
Mujhai kuch nai pta Salma mein aab iss lrki ko apnay ghar mein ek or second bhi nai bardasht kr skta... Oos nay hamari izzat ka janaza nikaal diya hai oooeay khaandan mein...
Beti hai aapki Mehmood... Khoon hai woh aapka... Kya bol rhay hain aap??
Beti??. Ayesi Beti ko toh paida hotay hoye he gala duba dayna chahiye tha mujhai ta keh yeh din na dekhna prhta mujhai....
His words stabbed me right thru my heart... Papa how could u say like this??. Am I this worthless....
Khuda ka khof krain aap Mehmood... Kya bol rhay hain aap.... Beti hai... Rehmat hai woh..
Jo bol rha hoon sahi bol rha hoon....
Kaan khol kr sunlo meri baat tum Salma...
Iss ki shaadi Kasim say nai Badr say ho gi aab... Smjhi tum....??.
My whole world stopped right there after hearing these words... Badr??.
Ayesa keysay kr sktay hain aap Mehmood.... Q kr rhay hain aap yeh apni Beti keh saath.... Waja jaanay ki bhi koshish ki hai apnay Jiski waja say oosnay aaj yeh itna bara qadum uthaya hai....
Koi waja nai sunni mein nay suna Salma... Aab jo keh diya hai meinay wohi ho ga aab... Mannat ki shaadi Badr say ho gi...
2 din ka waqt day rha hoon mein tumhay Salma smjha doh apni oos beti ko...
Kya woh apki beti nai hai Mehmood...
Nai hai woh meri beti mur chuki hai woh meray liye... Mur chuki hai...
I couldn't hear more... I ran upto my room and locked the door behind me.
Tears sprung out of my eyes.... And I cried my heart out....
Ya Allah q ho rha hai meray saath ayesa... Kya bigaara hai mein nay kisi ka... Kya bigaara hai jiski waja say itni nafrat mil rhi hai aaj mujhai.... Kya mein itni buri hoon jiski waja log mujhai passand krna bhi gawara nai krtay.... Kya likha hai Allah meri qismat mein aap nay??. Or kitna durd hai meri zindagi mein sehnay keh liye.....!!!.
But little did I know that because of my quietness this would lead to somewhere that I had never imagined.