Luna and Alex sat in complete and utter torturous silence. Alex didn't know what to say, after all he hadn't showed up at her doorstep. Luna sat there, just looking around as if she was waiting for something that wasn't going to come.
Alex stood up, knowing her eyes were on him and walked to the side of the room to pick up a guitar. Luna wanted to leave, she was regretting turning up with nothing to say.
She watched as he sat on the sofa again and leant his head back to face the ceiling. How was she going to excuse herself? She couldn't just run away. She was the one who had come here. Alex didn't want to start the conversation so he started to strum the guitar.
"I wish you would have smiled in the bakery
Or sat on a tatty settee" he sang quietly. Luna looked up at him
"At a mutual friend's gathering
And the more you keep on looking, the more it's hard to take
Love, we're in stalemate"
Luna couldn't look away now, she couldn't quite believe what was happening.
"To never meet it surely where we're bound
There's one in every town
Just there to grind you down"
He pulled his head up from the sofa, briefly meeting hers before looking down at the guitar.
"I wish I would have seen you in the post office
Well, maybe I did and I missed it
Too busy with the mind on clever lines"
"Why not the rounders pitch or the canteen?
You're slacking, love, where have you been?"
"Just had to go and wait until tonight"
He started to mess around, playing a somewhat solo. Luna took in a deep breath.
"I wish I would have seen you down in the arcade
Sipping on a lemonade
In the paper cup and chewing on the straw
And I wish I'd seen you in the bakery
But if I'd seen you in the bakery"
He took in a deep breath and looked her in the eyes.
"You probably wouldn't have seen me"
He sighed, strumming the guitar a few more times as Luna tried not to cry.
"This was a mistake." She croaked, standing up. The strumming stopped immediately and he stood up with her as if he were going to stop her. She stopped for a brief moment, waiting for him to say something but he didn't. "Sorry." She mumbled, walking towards the door.
Alex didn't stop her. He wanted to but didn't know what he would say when he got there, probably the same reason why she came over.
He stood in the living room, holding the guitar and having a quiet argument with himself before putting the guitar on the sofa and running out of the door.
"Luna!" He yelled, seeing her walking quickly down the street. She turned around, looking frightened. "Wait, I'm sorry." He sighed as he reached her.
Luna took in the image of the man in front of her. His hair had no product in it but looked wet as if he had just got out of the shower. It drooped in front of his eyes so he had to push it out of the way. It seemed to be the only thing that reminded her of the Alex she used to know.
"For what?" She wondered. Alex was shocked, his arrogance meant he had assumed she would just forgive him.
"For last night, of course." He spoke as if it were obvious but all he got back was a disappointed face.
"Is that all you're sorry for, Alexander?" She pushed, clearly wanting an explanation for the last two years. He bit his lip and looked away from her. Why was it so difficult? "Forget it." She muttered, turning away.
"Wait!" He called, throwing his hand in his hair and pushing his roughly over his head. She turned around and looked at him expectantly. "Are you sorry?" He asked. Her eyes widened.
"Excuse me?" She couldn't quite believe what she was hearing.
"Are you sorry that it happened? Between us? All those years ago?" He asked. Alex had thought about her everyday, clearly misjudging how she would take him running away.
"I'm sorry I met you, Alex." She said coldly. Alex's heart snapped.
"What?" His voice was small. He prayed he was having a nightmare and would wake up beside her the following morning two years ago.
"I can't help but feel somewhat responsible for the absolute prick you've become." She explained. Alex didn't know what was happening anymore, he wanted to cry. "That night, when you fucked me and then promised me you would would come back and then you didn't, I felt guilty, Alex!" Her voice was raising. "When I met you, I truly believe you would've never been capable of doing something as cold as that and I twisted your thoughts and introduced you to bad people and now look at you. I got my karma that night for believing in you and having somewhat hope for us. I just hope your karma hits you as hard as it did me." She spat before turning around and walking away.
Alex stood in shock for god knows how long. Luna looked so hurt, he couldn't quite believe that it was him this time that had caused it.
Eventually, he turned around and walked back to the house. He walked straight into the kitchen and sat at the table, staring at the middle of it as if he was trying to figure it out.
Matt and Nick returned not long after which meant Jamie came downstairs in the hopes of food. They all laughed and joked with each other before Matt realised Alex hadn't moved in a long time.
"Al? You okay?" He asked. Alex didn't move. They all looked at each other before dropping what they were doing and walking over to him. Matt waved his hand in front of Alex's face and nothing. "Al, mate? Are you in there?" Matt asked. Nick and Jamie watched closely as Alex's eyes started to water.
"Alex?" Jamie asked, worry layering in his voice.
Alex broke, the tears fell and he sucked in a deep breath as if he had been holding his breath the whole time. The noise made them all jump. Then he led out this loud cry as the tears flooding from his eyes. It truly scared them all.
"Alex? What happened?" They crowded around him. Alex put his head in his head and sobbed as loudly as he could. He hadn't cried this hard since Luna had left.
"Alex, talk to us mate." Matt put his arm around him, truly concerned.
"I'm a horrible person. I'm a fucking monster." Alex practically yelled through the tears as if they were containing his voice. They all looked at each other, wondering what to do.
"No you're not mate, you've just made a few bad decisions. Nobody's perfect." Nick finally said. Alex looked up and looked at them all as they waited for him to say something.
"You all think I'm a bad person, don't you?" His eyes looked so sad and broken.
"Mate, if we thought that we would've left the band a long fucking time ago." Matt almost laughed at the idea. Alex put his head in his hands again and continued to cry.
"What's brought this on? You were fine earlier?" Jamie pointed out. Alex pulled away from his hands and sat back in his chair.
"Luna came round." He confessed. They all gasped.
"Fuck off, no she didn't." Matt stated as if he couldn't believe it. Alex nodded.
"Yeah and she just sat there and I fucking...oh my god I'm such a knob...why do I...oh fuck I hate myself." He broke down again and Matt rubbed his back.
"Mate, it's okay." He comforted him but this triggered Alex. He sat up again.
"It's not fucking okay, Matt. I sat there like a prick and fucking...oh my god...I just sat there and sang her a song as if that's gonna do anything to help the fact that I fucked the girl I have wanted my whole damn life and then just moved to America as if that wasn't going to effect her!" He was screaming from the top of his lungs and they all knew he was talking to himself. It scared Matt, having known Alex his whole life he had never seen him lose it like this.
"Did she say anything?" Nick asked as Alex started to hyperventilate. Alex stopped hyperventilating and continued to cry at the memory of her words.
"She said she feels guilty!" He cried. "S-she s-said that s-she is responsible for making me into what I am and that..." he squeezed his eyes shut and let out a cry. "And that she's sorry she ever met me." He put his head once again in his hands and sobbed.
"Okay mate, deep breaths." Matt rubbed his back and looked at the others who didn't quite know what to do.
"Look, Al. No one really knows what went down with you two except for you two. Obviously there's been a lot of anger and pent up feelings towards each other since you left. She's probably just experiencing all those raw emotions she felt two years ago." Jamie said. Matt and Nick looked at him as if they couldn't believe he had just said that. Where did that come from?
"I just...I don't even know what I'm doing anymore." Alex sighed, taking deep breaths as Matt had advised. "Every time I see her I feel all these things, I forget how she makes me feel and now...I've well and truly fucked it up. Once again, unstable Alex has fucked up another relationship." He waved his arms around.
"Look, you're under a lot of pressure and no one expects you to get everything in your life right." Matt comforted him. "So, let's get some food down you because you're also extremely hungover which probably isn't helping." He rubbed his back one last time and went to get his food for him.
He eyed Nick to help him which he did and they walked to the kitchen.
"I'm just gonna pop out for a minute. Tell Alex I forgot to get myself a meal or something." He whispered to him. Nick didn't question it, just nodded and fist bumped him before he left.