Phantom and Jade sat in the woods together. After the wolf had chilled the forest with his deep haunting howls he settled next to Jade. She held a fistful of his fur in her hand and let the heat of his body float up her fingers and into her palm. The bond between them felt stronger, surer somehow, and after a while Jade realized she was crying.
It wasn’t a sobbing sort of cry that came from haunted remorse, but rather an overwhelming sense of peace, one of comfort. She was so content and full that she felt her heart and chest might burst. This wolf, this creature next to her was with her, always. He had her back now, and she had his. The reality of that continued to hit Jade in a new way every day. She had left her home, everything she had ever known because she had finally accepted that she would rather be alone and free, than filled with company but bound by law and tradition. But yet, here was a wolf. Nothing made sense anymore; nothing had gone how Jade thought, and every day she found she had to cope with that in new ways.
“We should probably get back.” The wolf pulled his head off the ground and looked at her, ears perked forward. His eyes were so bright Jade had no doubt why people created legends about them. While she had grown accustomed to them, she knew for a fact everyone else was unnerved. She stood and brushed off the pine needles and dirt that had collected on her clothes. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and took a deep breath to collect herself. Phantom stretched and sauntered back toward the town, and Jade followed after him.
When they emerged out of the woods Jade was surprised to see that there was still a good amount of activity around the town. As they approached closer to a group of three men Jade slowed down to listen to their conversation when the word ‘wolf’ was spoken.
“I’m telling you it was a wolf. It spooked the cattle; I nearly had a meat grinder with them all in the pen together. I’m lucky none of them got killed.”
“That’s ridiculous; we haven’t had wolves in this area for ages. I’m telling you it was just a dog.”
“What sort of dog howls like that?”
“Wolves travel in packs anyway; I only heard one.”
“That’s why it was howling. I’m telling you it we should get some people together and kill the thing before we find someone or something dead in the morning.”
“Stop being so paranoid Walter…” The man’s sentence trailed off when he caught sight of Jade and then Phantom. She looked at the man and then looked down at the wolf next to her and then back to the man. Instantly she regretted slowing down to listen to their conversation. Jade knew it would only be a matter of time before Phantom stopped looking like a large dog and more like a wolf. Already grew fuller, stronger, and larger. He was filling out and looked less and less like a domesticated creature with each passing day. It helped immensely that he followed Jade around everywhere, people saw what they wanted to see, and when he was with Jade they saw a dog. But these men wanted to see a wolf, they had heard the howling, and even Jade could see that her presence wasn’t cutting it.
She swallowed and picked up her pace, she really shouldn’t have slowed down. “Wait just a moment there ma’am.” The one who had trailed off his sentence called out to Jade from across the small road. The Inn was so close, its door was lit with lanterns on either side, and she simply had the desire the sprint the remaining short way. But logic outran her instinct; she would only look guilty if she ran. Play it off Jade, you don’t need a town rioting against you, and you’ve done nothing wrong.
She stopped and looked back to the men who were all walking toward her. They stopped a good distance away. Phantom picked up on the tension and pushed himself closer to Jade, his ears slowly dropped back. “Can I help you?” She tried to sound polite, she wasn’t entirely sure she succeeded. It seemed the more Jade encountered the world, the more she disliked most of its inhabitants.
“Is that your…creature?” Jade noted very quickly he didn’t say dog.
“Yes he’s mine.” She casually rested her hands onto her Katana.
“You sure?” Another from the group asked. “We heard howling close by not an hour ago.”
“I heard it too.” She confirmed, “It sounded like a wolf.” Even the word made the men shift uneasily.
“He doesn’t look like a dog.”
She narrowed her eyes at the one she was sure had been called Walter, “Why?”
“He’s…big…and his eyes are wrong.” He shook his head, “No I’m sure he’s not.”
A heat of anger flashed up Jades spine, “He’s better behaved than you I assure.”
The man’s face flushed a violent red and Jade gripped her Katana just as a loud voice shouted and broke the tension. “What’s going on here?”
Jade glanced; James and Yates were walking towards them. James had his eyes on Jade while Yates was looking directly at the men. James winked at Jade and she turned her attention back to the group in front of her. She wanted to fight, she realized, something inside of her was wreathing around in her stomach, she was angry. She didn’t know why but the way the men acted, the way they looked, everything about them rubbed Jade wrong. She clenched her teeth and forced her hand off her weapon and took a step back. What is wrong with me?
James came and stood next to Jade. He placed a hand on her arm and leaned in to whisper in her ear. “Come on, let Yates handle this one.” He led her away and Jade heard the voices of the men but she didn’t care to listen and soon they disappeared behind the building as James led her to the stable behind the Inn.
The stable was dark but for a single lantern hanging outside the doors. The smell of hay, manure, horse, and leather filled Jade’s nose and instantly broke the tension she had been feeling. She walked over to Chance and the mare dropped her head to Jades. Jade’s eyes slowly adjusted to the dim light and she looked over to the other silhouettes of the horses. James was petting one of them on the nose, his eyes were on Jade.
“What was that all about?” He asked, “You looked about ready to kill someone.”
Jade shook her head. “I don’t know. Something just snapped, that doesn’t happen to us, we don’t let things faze us. We’re trained to keep a cool head at all times. We’re trained to be better.”
James walked closer to Jade, his face a little more visible as her eyes continued to adjust. “Us?”
“Us who?” she asked.
“Just now, you said ‘us’.”
“I did?”
“Yes.”
Silence.
“Are you alright Jade?”
Jade looked up again, Phantom sat down in front of Chances stall. “I’m fine.”
James came even closer and took Jades hands into his own, “You’re lying.” He shook his head, “You’re always lying. Since the moment Reed and I hunted you down from those streets, since the moment you’ve come into all our lives you’ve been a lie, a mystery. As crazy as it sounds, I thought things would be simpler when that wolf came into the story. I thought ‘well now we know’, but we don’t. Things are worse than before; you’ve thrown up all these walls and stories. I see it in your eyes, it’s like you’re two different people, there’s the side of you everyone sees, the one that was trained and brought up in a society that I know only rumors and stories about, and then there’s this other side of you…one that I don’t even think you know yet.”
“James…”James stepped forward and gently took a hold of Jade’s hands. She realized they were shaking.
“-don’t. You don’t have to say anything. I’m not looking for answers Jade. But take it from someone who knows…you decide how you will feel the rest of your life. You decide how you react. The world throws a lot of shit at you but you get to decide how that affects you, you get to decide if you’ll be happy or not. You chose to leave your home, I never got that choice. But I decided at a young age that I was going to make the most of whatever life gave me I was determined to have some measure of control, however little was given to me. I know Reed is an asshole, but he’s got a lot of responsibility, he’s worried about making sure all of us get paid and are fed. We’re all each other have, and I know you dislike how he handles things and I’m not saying he handles them well. But someday, I know you’re going to leave this group and do your own thing, I’m not dumb, I know you have no desire to stay on with this group any longer than you have to. You’re debt will be paid off and you’re going to continue to meet people like Reed and like those men in town. You’re not in Felkor anymore, you made the decision to live your life with the world, and so it’s the world you must learn to live in.” He dropped Jades hands and took a step back. “You get to decide to be alone or not.” He looked at the wolf and then back at Jade, “and I mean more than just your wolf.”
James turned to leave. “Phantom.”
“What?”
“His name,” Jade repeated. “it’s Phantom.”
“Phantom.” James said out loud and Phantom perked his ears forward and tilted his head. James smiled, “Well I’ll be damned.”
“Names aren’t given they are shared.” Jade said suddenly, she didn’t know where it came from but it came none the less.
“What do you mean?”
“Guardians and Protectors aren’t master and pet. It’s deeper, the bond and relationship is a partnership, and we die for one another if necessary. We don’t name our Guardians like we would a cat or a dog the emotions and feelings are shared until it can be spoken in words and expressed in our own language.”
There was silence except for the sounds of the barn.
Jades hands were still shaking; she never shared anything about her Felkorian heritage, nothing about that life. But this was different, this wasn’t a secret, it was a truth about her and the wolf that had bonded to her. It was true for every Guardian and Protector, so she felt in a strange way, a relief to share it. Like somehow in some small way, she was sharing a real part of herself.
“How does that work?” James asked. “How does he understand you?”
“I’m…not really sure I can put it into words. We’re different too, I’m not a Protector, and he’s technically not a Guardian since he’s not a Great Wolf. There’s so much more to it than a wolf and person bonding. He’s different and I’m different, so I can’t say it’s the same for everyone because I honestly don’t know.” Jade got down on her knees and James came and dropped to his beside her. Phantom stood and approached them. Jade stroked his fur and James kept his hands in his lap, unsure of his place. “I understand his emotions. I feel them as if they were my own. When I touch him and when he’s close I don’t even have to think about it or try to feel them, they’re just there. And when he’s further away, all I have to do is concentrate and sense him. Tonight, his name was just there, I felt it and spoke it.” Jade took James hand and placed it on Phantoms neck.
“Incredible.” James said, softly stroking the dark fur. Phantom looked at Jade, he didn’t like James stroking him but he tolerated it for her sake.
“I’ve never told anyone that before.”
“I won’t tell a soul.” He promised her and stood up. “I’m going to go inside and see if everything is alright. Come whenever you’re ready.” Jade nodded her head but stayed on her knees.
“Hey James?” She called after him; he paused in the doorway and looked over his shoulder.
“Thank you.”
He nodded, “Anytime.”
The further into Athsul the group traveled the more Jade enjoyed herself. The country was green with the coming spring and the rolling hills and dense forests were all to Jade’s liking, the country was simply beautiful. There seemed to be a warm constant breeze from the west that lifted their cloaks around them. The closer they got to the Capital the larger the cities grew and the greater the noble houses became. Jade could almost smell the wealth over the freshly turned earth and new grass. Often there were units of royal guards that they allowed pass, and great carriages with ladies and their lords.
The bustle on the roads was enough to keep Jade entertained, and Phantom close by. He watched everyone with alert eyes but he was growing more and more accustomed to people, and Jade noted that he continued to act more like a true Guardian. She remembered vividly how the Elders Guardians would silently watch, but she knew they were alert underneath the calm and almost sleepy demeanor. Had anyone suddenly shown a valid threat, the wolf would have been at their throats before they were able to blink.
Every time Jade caught sight of a richer noble or highborn she was assaulted with images of herself in fancy dresses. That would be me right now, if I hadn’t left. I would be wielding a list of house duties and arranging dinner parties and meetings with other highborn Felkorian’s. I’d be curtsying instead of bending a knee in fealty and honor.
She fought hard to push those images out of her mind. It’s not that Jade had hated dresses, quite the opposite. When the rare but special occasion had called her to done a dress she had enjoyed acting as a lady. There was another sort of honor to it, and she remembered her mother fondly in those moments. Someday I would like to have that life, but just like my mother I want this life first. She looked down at Phantom and smiled, she was getting her wish.
When they were only a day’s ride from the Capital everyone spirit’s were high. Even Reed dropped his sour mood and joined in with the men to drink and laugh. Jade sat in the corner of the inn and sipped at the dark brewed ale and smiled as the men made fools of themselves singing at the top of their lungs. The inn was packed with guests and Jade noticed that there was a knight in their company. He said with his squire and smiled as he ate his food and watched the gang sing. Free entertainment seemed to be preferable over paying a bard his weight in gold for a song.
The wolf was laying next to Jade one ear was against his head and the other was tilted forward, his eyes were drooped lazily but Jade knew from his emotions that he was taking in every scent and sound and was ever attentive to Jade’s emotions. Partway through the night as jade was on her second mug of ale the Knight stood from his table and walked to Jade’s corner. Jade stood and bowed her head in respect. He wore a deep royal blue tunic and gold thread embroidered a lightning bolt on his chest.
The knight held out up his hand, “Please there is no need for that Protector. May I sit?”
“You may sir.” Jade held back the bitter taste that rose in her throat from the word Protector, even her heart sped up every time the word was spoken. Jade and the knight sat, “But I must be honest with you sir, I am not a Protector.”
The Knights eyes rose and looked down at the wolf, “You could have fooled me, are you headed to the Capital looking for work? If you are not a Protector are you hoping to pass as one? I see the knife at your waist, so I know you’re at least a fighter.” The accusation and assumption came all at once and quickly from the knight. He was a tall man, leaner than Jade would have expected a knight to be to bear armor, but his arms to well muscled and his yellow hair and beard were trimmed to perfection and his eyes were intelligent.
“I am not trying to pass as anything sir. With respect, you came over and claimed me as that yourself. Anyone who asks or assumes will be corrected by me, I do not pretend to be something I am not.” Jade noticed while Phantom did not lift his head his eyes were open and his ears were forward.
“Hmm. What’s your name girl?” He asked.
“Jade sir,” she bowed her head again.
“Just Jade?”
“Just Jade,” she confirmed. “And forgive me sir, but I do not recognize your crest.”
“I’m Sir Hewin, I serve the royal family directly in the Capital. I’m returning for the tournament and the princes’ birthday.” Jade’s mind shot back to the long study hours in the library, the pouring over of all the books and the studying of the royal family and the knights and provinces. As a Protector, it was a duty to know who was worth knowing. Information could sometimes be more powerful than any weapon.
“Sir Hewin,” Jade repeated. “Your family hails from Striash, and if I’m not mistaken your family has served the royal family for three generations.”
Again Sir Hewin’s eyebrows shot up with surprise; again he looked from Jade to Phantom and then back again. “And how does Jade with no last name know something like that?” He asked sipping slowly at this drink.
Jade smiled, “It’s good business to know important people sir.”
There was a moment of silence and then Sir Hewin cracked a smile, “Aye I suppose it is lass.” Sir Hewin sat and visited with Jade for a short while. He told her a few fighting stories and Jade found she liked the knight. He didn’t mention Phantom again nor made any sign of calling Jade a liar. Jade found it was refreshing and rejuvenating to speak with such a well education person that wasn’t a part of her gang. When Sir Hewin finally stood to retire for the night Jade stood with respect and the knight took Jade’s hand and kissed it. The act caught Jade by surprise and threw her heart into her throat. Jade’s hand hadn’t been kissed since she was a young teen at a dinner party. For a moment she feared the knight knew she was a highborn, but then as the knight winked at her and stood back she realized he was simply flirting with her. That realization made Jade even more uneasy.
“Have a good evening Jade, I do hope to see you again.”
A cold nose pushed its way into Jade’s palm and she looked down to see Phantom at her side. He had stood when he sensed her stress. “I’m fine,” she told him softly. She sat down and finished the rest of the dark ale in one go and ordered another from the barmaid. James came over a few seconds later and sat down next to her.
“What’s the matter Jade, you looked flushed.” He smiled and leaned close to Jade a little off centered.
“You’re drunk.”
“I am indeed!” He cheered lifting his glass and the others cheered back. They were getting requests for songs from other guests at the inn. She wondered if they had noticed Jade talking to Sir Hewin. “But that still doesn’t answer my question, did that knight make you uneasy?”
Jade blushed again and shoved him off his chair. Everyone at the inn laughed and Jade leaned over towards him and said, “That is none of your business.”
The truth was it had made Jade more uneasy that she cared to admit. I know I’m a woman, I know I have a woman’s body and men will always be men. But it still made Jade shift uncomfortably in her seat, there had been crushes back home in Felkor. But as she grew older and her training more intense, it seemed that the opposite sex was the last thing on everyone’s mind. Being a Protector, and having a Guardian meant more than chasing after someone. Jade remembered her father’s story about her mother, they had known each other growing up, but it wasn’t until later that they fell in love and that her father had taken interest in her mother.
But you’re not a Protector. The thought nagged annoyingly at the back of Jade’s mind. She looked at the stairs where Sir Hewin had disappeared; if she wanted to she could go up and find his room, knock on his door and let whatever happen, happen. She was free to make that decision, free to do what she desired. Yet, there was no desire. Sir Hewin was a little older and attractive, he was a knight and he had shown her attention as a woman. Yet Jade found that there was nothing there that she wanted. There was a freedom in that as well, a sense of peace knowing she would make that decision someday, she would lay with who she decided to lay with, and show affection and love to who she decided to give it to. No one else would tell her who to marry to save her bloodline and family name, no one else would tell her how to please a man. That would come on her own terms in her own time, and for now, Jade found she was content walking among men as a fighter first and woman second.
The next morning they had a slow start, Jade had drank considerably less than the men and even she was squinting more at the sun than normal. She couldn’t imagine what the men were feeling. She remained silent as they headed off, with Reed feeling ill she had no desire to set off his temper. As the day wore on, despite feeling ill from the night before, the groups’ spirits were lifted as the Capital came into view on the horizon. Even from this far away the city towered tall and magnificent in the noon day sun. They were still a half days ride but the site was enough to bring good spirits to them all, and the smell of the sea rode on the wind.
The road was packed with carts, merchants, knights, gypsies, and all manner of travelers seeking to reach the Capital for the tournament. It was the place to make a profit and everyone seemed to be eager to reach the tournament grounds and set up camp. The closer their neared the city the slower the traffic became until they were almost forced to remain at a standstill as the crowd thickened.
The group ate lunch in their saddles and Jade eventually took off her cloak and stuffed it into her saddlebag. The sun beat down upon the road and with the dust being kicked up from carts and horses Jade's throat started to burn. "This is ridiculous, it's going to take us all day just to reach the gates. Is there even going to be space for us to set up a tent on the tournament grounds by the time we get there?" James looked at Reed.
Reed held a hand over his eyes to block out the sun and looked into the distance "Should be, it's always crowded and the royal family does a good job planning for the masses that will arrive for tournaments. We'll be at more of an advantage anyway; we won't be staying within the city itself so we don’t have to worry about finding rooms at an inn, which is impossible unless you’ve called ahead and paid good money to hold a room or know a family to stay with. The tournament grounds are pretty vast, they leave them open for the knights, venders, merchants, and swords for hires to set up camp."
"Speaking of tents...." James raised an eyebrow and Reed sighed and dropped his hand.
"How about me and you do some digging and see if some of these carts are selling and what’s holding up the line?" He looked at James.
"Gladly," James picked up the reigns which had been lying forgotten on his horses’ neck.
Reed turned to the rest of the group. "Keep moving with the line, James and I are going to go take a look around see what we can't do about securing a tent. We'll be back before too long." The group mumbled a response half asleep from the sun and Reed look at Jade who remained silent. His eyes skimmed over her face and down to Phantom who stood next to Chance and without a word he turned and left with James. Jade watched them ride alongside the road, gaining unfavorable looks from other travelers who were patiently waiting but no one was brave enough to call out.
Jade looked at Phantom, his mouth was open and his tongue hung out from the heat. But his ears were forward and he sniffed the air every couple of minutes catching new scents. Jade was having a hard time keeping all of his senses out of her own head. As overwhelming as it was for Jade, it was twice that for her wolf. The beast had never experienced so many humans in such close quarters, and Jade wished again that she had had more time with him to train, and hoped that the bond they had would be strong enough to make up for the lack.
Jade swung her leg over Chance and jumped down from the saddle. "Where are you going?" Yates asked.
"Nowhere, just stretching my legs before my butt permanently falls asleep." Yates grinned at her and Jade smiled back. She unclasped the water skin from the saddle and took a long swig and rinsed the dust from her mouth. She walked a few steps when the line moved forward and she fished a cup from her packs and leaned down and filled it with water. Phantom stepped up and lapped the water from the cup and when he finished Jade poured him another until he was satisfied. She stroked his ears with both hands and his blue eyes searched hers and he leaned into her hands content with the affection.
After Jade situated everything back in her saddle she tied a dark cloth around her mouth and over her nose to keep the dust out of her lungs. The wind picked up again and the dust swirled down the road and she watched as other travelers lifted their hands to block it from their eyes.
"Strange weather," Jade commented.
"Aye." Garth nodded and yawned. “It’s oddly warm, but soon the rain will come and this dust with be nothing but mess and mud." Jade smiled at the thought of spring. She adored the rain and the unique smell that always seemed to linger when it was wet. Jade walked for a little while to stretch her legs and to have some time out of the saddle. Two soldiers walked their horses down the road keeping an eye on the crowd, as they passed by Jade one of them lifted a fist to his heart and bowed his head slightly. No words were spoken and they didn't stop or linger, but Jade turned and watch them go as they passed. Her cheeks flushed under the fabric that covered her face and she ground her teeth together subconsciously.
Jade realized that the sensation would was quickly becoming a common one. Here at the Capital people were more accustomed to seeing Protectors and wolves guarding nobles and serving the royal family. Instead of shying away, people would show their respect, as Jade had just seen with the soldier. People here weren't ignorant, here Protectors had a place, and Jade was not one of them. She realized she preferred the way people had treated her before, they kept their distance and feared the beast at her side. Here people would only assume she was what she appeared, people would always fear wolves, but here they weren’t seen as beasts that snatch children from the woods.
"Get used to it lass." Jade turned, surprised to find Yates standing next to her, his horses reigns in one hand. Garth leaned on his saddle, joining the conversation without saying a word.
"What?" Jade asked, tugging the fabric down from her face so it hung around her neck and she could speak freely.
"I saw that soldier. People are always going to see what they want to see. Around here, a person with a wolf is a Protector, end of story. They are going to assume things and there is nothing you can do to change that. And no matter how hard you try you won't be able to correct everyone either. You understand me? You're going to have to find a balance of accepting what and who you are without destroying your sense of honor. Because yes Jade, I understand you aren’t a Protector, I know your story girl but you have Felkorian blood running through your veins whether you want to acknowledge that or not it’s the truth and nothing you do will change that. You must accept the fact that you also look and act like a Felkorian. You can’t hide what you are; no amount of clothes or disguises will change that so long as Phantom stands by your side.”
Jade balled her hands into fists and turned away, looking out onto the rolling fields. She tried to shut out the sounds of the road and the songs that carried on around her and the masses of people. She felt trapped suddenly, as though there weren’t enough space, her chest felt tight and her breathing came harder “Jade,” Garth spoke this time, breaking the panic rising in her chest. She turned to look at him, she wasn’t sure why she was so upset, but it seemed more and more she was losing herself, losing her discipline, her control. Everything pushed her over the edge these days, and she didn’t understand why. Phantom whined loudly next to her, unsure of the emotions passing between them, his tail tucked down between his legs. Garth slipped off his horse and handed the reins to Yates, “Why don’t we go for a stroll? Yates, we’ll be back shortly.” Yates nodded and gathered Chances reigns along with the others.
Jade followed Garth off the road until they were out of ear shot from anyone nearby. Phantom ran ahead nose to the earth, happy to be away from the road. The open field was green and yellow, and the grass was already grown tall to Jade's knees. “Jade,” Garth said again softly. “I know a little of what you’re going through, and if you’ll let me, I’d like to share my thoughts.” Jade said nothing but nodded. “I know that we’re a strange group, and I know we don’t all see eye to eye and I understand that you feel like you don’t fit in. Can I just put your mind at ease and tell you that there’s nothing wrong with being different?” Jade knew he was speaking from experience, "People like us are always going to stand out of the crowd. I know its different because you have Phantom by your side, which draws more attention. But Jade, you need to let go of your identity before you lose it completely, trust me, you'll drive yourself mad otherwise."
Jade stopped and turned to face him, the breeze picked the hair off the back of her neck, but here the dust wasn't so bad. Garth continued, "You're trying to push your old self into your new environment, and it's not working. Trust me. I tried it myself for a long time. Eventually you start losing hold of everything and before you realize it, you're lost, without a clue to your identity. It's up to you to figure out what parts of you belong here with you now, and which part must be laid to memory and used as a foundation to build your new self. But you're the only one who can make that decision; you're the only one who knows what you need."
They stood silent for a moment. Jade's mind was filled with a million thoughts and none at all. What Garth was saying made sense, more and more Jade felt that when she let her mind wander she felt anxious and angry. Like there was a war battling inside her. There is a war. You were trained to be one thing your entire life, ready to be one thing. Now look, you're a Felkorian with a wolf who will never be a Protector, who no longer has traditions or old laws to rule you. Your discipline is disappearing because there are no boundaries. What is discipline without guide? Jade took a deep breath, she watched Phantom follow an old scent of a rabbit, his legs invisible in the grass. Garth stood silently beside Jade, allowing her to filter her thoughts in peace but yet assuring her with his presence. Your discipline was required for your training, to teach you to focus on your studies, and for what you would become. Without it, the discipline has no foundation and no shape. Jade’s voice was loud in her own head; you will make your own path. The book Brian had given Jade echoed in her mind as well, and one particular passage, “It is not by mistake that man finds himself lost in the most desperate hour of his life. It is when a life is stripped down and bare, it is in that moment of weakness and darkness when everything is forgotten that man may find strength.” Jade was here again, another moment of weakness and darkness, and it was her choice to find her strength. You have the discipline in your training, but you are free now to live your life without fear of dishonoring your name, because you have no name, no people, and no honor to lose but the honor you build here and now with your new life.
“I’m free.”
“What?” Garth turned and looked at her, taking his focus off Phantom too Jade.
“Garth I’m free,” she turned to him; a deep feeling bubbled in her chest, one of joy and anticipation. “I’ve been holding myself back this whole time. I kept telling myself that I left my home behind that I’m not one of them. I kept telling myself that I was free to make my own path and decisions but I was still letting the old rules of my people dictate my behavior. Why? Out of fear of reprimand of dishonor? I have no name, I have no people, no tradition, my honor was stripped from me. I am no one. I don’t have to act like anyone or anything against my will. I can be who I want to be.” Jade grinned. “I am free.” Gregor’s voice from the night she fled her home echoed in her head, live your life Jade Dryden.
Jade looked at the Capital, she was here now, where all Protectors came to find work. But Jade had not come here as a Protector, she was here as Jade. She whispered the oath she had made at her parents tombstones. “I will raise your name to what it used to be, and I will do it the way you did it, with the sharp edge of my blade.”
The sky was darkening by the time they finally made it to the tournament grounds to set up camp. Reed and James had discovered that merchants were required to register their wares for records, which was the cause of the long line into the city. Reed had found from a city guard that not everyone was required to register, and so they had purchased a tent and found out where to pay the tax for setting up camp and had then returned to the group with the certificate that proved they paid. “We’re good to head to the tournament grounds,” Reed said holding up the rolled piece of parchment. The group gratefully pulled themselves back onto their horses and followed along the city walls to where the tournament was being held. The grounds were a half mile from the cities outer wall and it spread out for well over a mile. They all took a moment to look upon the scene. Hundreds of tents were set up, some marked with tall flags of royal or family colors indicating to which it belonged. The small flags flapped in the wind, shaking the poles to which they were mounted. Cooking fires were lit, and horses were tied to long lines of ropes, a little further Jade saw the stands were people would sit to watch the events of the tournament. Fences and flags blocked off large sections of field where the games would be held. Jousting, archery, swordsmanship, and horsemanship were only a few things that Jade had no doubt she would see. The tournament meant to last over a week. Feasts would be held for honored guests and winners within the city and the royal keep. Wine and ale would be sold by the barrel and Jade would stand in the midst of it all, seeing it with her own eyes.
They found a spot to set up next to a knight whose tent was the color of blood, a boar head was his insignia. Again Jade’s mind produced the name, Sir Dorn a highborn family of Fishburn, trained at the Capitals academy since his teen years. Jade figured he must be getting on in age by now, she wondered if he was here to participate or simply here to watch the activities or train one of his sons. Merchants were unloading and setting up their carts for the next morning when things would be livelier. The group set up camp silently. Jade noted that they had purchased a large tent and a few personal ones. James tossed Jade one. “For you my lady.” He bowed and winked at her and she worked to pitch it next to the others. It held only enough room for her things and Phantom, but barely. “You might have to sleep outside.” She said to the wolf and he tilted his head, ears back and she smiled knowing she wouldn’t want him anywhere but by her side.
When the tent was pitched she worked on helping the others set up. She noted the front flaps of the larger tent could be rolled up and tied in place to expose the interior during the day when it was hot. She figured this is where they would spend most of their days while Reed worked on getting them a job. They set the tent up to make it as homey as possible and Jade worked on starting a small cook fire. Garth secured the horses to a long rope behind their tents and watered them. Jade noted that there were four other horses already secured to the rope, one was a large war horse and the others looked to be more working creatures and Jade had no doubt that they belonged to the knight next to them. She was surprised that knights would mingle and pitch tents with commoners; no doubt they would want to be among their own kinsmen. But looking around Jade noticed everyone seemed to be mixed up among each other.
“Jade come with me to get something for dinner,” James called her over to where he was standing with Reed.
“We don’t have supplies already?” Jade asked and to her surprise Reed chuckled.
“Jade, we’re at the Capital, there are a dozens of merchants here, and I’ll be damned if we are eating stale rations from our saddlebags. Now go fetch some wine and something good for Yates to cook up.” He handed James the money.
“One order I’m always happy to follow.” James smiled and together they walked away from the tent. She told Phantom to stay behind; she’d rather not worry about him by her side wondering around the grounds. Jade noted where they were located on the grounds, with the knight set up next to them she wouldn't have much trouble keeping track of where they set camp but even so Jade made note of their location just in case and followed James through the thickening crowds of people as the evening grew darker. Torches were staked everywhere around the grounds, and huge fires had been built in areas where festivities had started early. James seemed to be walking with purpose so she assumed he knew where he was headed so she was content so stay quiet and observe her surroundings.
People from all provinces had come for the tournament; she let their accents soak her ears as she tried to place them with descriptions from her studies and books. Sometimes the way they dressed or the color of their skin and hair gave them away, but for the most part Jade was surprised at how little she recognized and yet how much knowledge her head was stuffed with. If someone told Jade where they hailed from she could spout a million facts, and yet when faced with the real thing, she realized, she simple lacked the experience. Every so often a ground of soldiers passed by, either in pairs of two or four, Jade respected that the Royal family seemed to do so well keeping an eye on anything that might cause trouble. No doubt if a fight were to break out at any given time, there would be a solider nearby at all times.
James stopped abruptly and talked with a man who was unloading beautiful furs from a cart, Jade stood back a few feet and let him talk to the man. Jade didn't listen to the conversation but by the end James was patted on the back and the man was smiling widely, money exchanged hands, and they walked away with a couple of skinned rabbits. “How did you know he would have food to sell?”
“He was selling rabbit pelts so I decided it couldn't hurt to ask, and besides he’s already skinned them so I figured why not ask and save us the hassle?” James lifted the rabbits and shoved them teasingly in front of Jade’s face. She instinctively shoved his shoulder and stepped to the side to avoid getting blood on her face and ran straight into the side of a horse as she did.
Jades shoulder slammed into the man’s knee where it rested against the saddle, and his boot where it rested in the stirrup dug into Jade’s side sharply. “Watch where you’re walking!” The horse skirted nervously to the side from the sudden movements and the man twisted the reigns to stop the animal from running into anyone else walking by.
Jade jumped back and bowed her head in respect and apologized.
“Jade?” She lifted her head quickly.
“Merek?” His dark hair was long now, pulled back with a black bow at the nape of his neck, and his face was darkened with a start of a beard. She barely recognized him. It seemed ages since she had last seen him in Lord Osman’s home. The last memory she had was of him giving her an encouraging nod before she and Lander had faced Osman and been sentenced to five lashes and all her possessions sold. At the thought of Lander Jade’s heart rate rose and she turned and looked, because she only assumed that if Merek was here, then Lander must be close by.
Sure enough as Jade turned, she saw him, twenty feet ahead astride his horse. He had stopped and turned when he noticed Merek was no longer by his side. When their eyes locked they both froze, and Jade felt herself visibly pale, and it reflected on Landers own face. Mixed emotions bubbled up Jade’s throat, she felt like she wanted to vomit and flee. Lander opened his mouth, she couldn’t hear him from where she stood over the voices of the people moving around them, but she saw her name form on his lips. He tugged the reigns and came to them.
“Lander, Merek!” James recovered from Jade’s shove and stepped back onto the main path, the skinned rabbits in one hand. He greeted the men warmly and with a large smile on his face.
“James,” Merek greeted, his normally straight and solemn demeanor was warmer than Jade remembered it being. She looked between the men, words and emotions were bottled and stuck in her throat but some managed to make it through.
“You know each other?” She asked. Her throat was surprisingly dry.
“Of course we do, they’re the ones who told us where to find you the day you were served your sentence. They’re old acquaintances of Reed, and through him friends of mine.” Jade’s mouth opened slightly and she looked at Merek and Lander fully. Lander looked much the same, his blonde hair was cut short, his beard was trimmed, and his uniform and boots were spotless, everything about him showed the disciplined leader he was. Merek might have grown his hair but the two of them looked just as Jade had remembered.
“I didn't know that,” Jade admitted. When Reed had told her that someone had tipped him off, she hadn't connected that it had been Lander and Merek. Looking back now she realized she was a fool not to have thought it sooner, who else would have vouched for her? She had been a foreigner and stranger to anyone else in that city. She realized that not only did she have a debt to Reed, but an even greater debt to Lander and Merek.
Lander didn’t meet Jade’s gaze, his cheeks were flushed and Merek smiled softly at her, “It was the least we could do after…after everything.” Merek said truthfully.
“I owe you both a great debt,” she said. More debts.
Lander looked up sharply and shook his head. “No,” he said rather forcefully, “It was I who owed you, after the way you were treated…”He stopped abruptly and looked at Merek. “We need to move on; the commander is expecting us back with a report. James it was good to see you, Jade.” He turned his horse to leave.
Merek frowned, as if he didn’t know why Lander was acting so urgently. “Of course, sir.” Though the two were obviously friends, Jade respected how Merek showed Lander that he was his leader. Merek turned his horse and gave James and Jade a parting farewell, “I’ll see if we can’t hunt you down this week. Good bye.”
“Come by anytime, I know Reed would love to speak with you!” James called after the departing men and waved with his open hand. Jade watch them move quickly through the crowd of people, headed toward the city.
“You really didn't know?” James asked and she turned, pulling her eyes from the disappearing men. It threw Jade off, seeing some both familiar to her and yet strangers at the same time, and they had gone as quickly as they had appeared. If it weren’t for James she might have thought she imagined the whole exchange.
“No.” Jade sighed, “I guess after Reed offered me the job, and after everything moved forward I didn't put much thought into who had been the ones to tip Reed off. It makes sense though. I’m honestly ashamed that I didn't realize sooner. I was just more distracted by the relief of a job and real work.”
“Makes sense.” James smiled at her, “Don’t think on it too hard, there’s nothing you can do about. Now come on, we've still got to acquire wine and get back before everyone starves.
In the end Jade carried back the barrel of wine. It started as a joke and then turned more serious when Jade refused to give it up when James insisted a woman shouldn’t do the heavy lifting. To prove her point she had swung the barrel over one shoulder and snatched the rabbits out of James hand with the other. The weight felt good and the smile that crept on Jade’s face showed she was genuinely pleased to carry the barrel. It brought back fond memories of rigorous training with Nemroy and the other apprentices.
Many people had settled down around their fires and in front of their tents, people were eating, cooking, drinking, brushing down horses, and sharpening swords. As Jade past groups many of them called out to her cheering at the sight of James blushing as she walked ahead of him, a small crowd started to gather and followed and soon there were bets being placed as to whether or not Jade would be able to make it back without dropping the barrel or resting before getting to where she was going. James perked up and led the crowd behind her, he was betting in her favor and was raising people with the money Reed had given them. She wasn't sure Reed would be pleased that he had risked betting his coin, but Jade also knew James was betting safely. While the barrel was awkward and heavy, it was nothing that Jade could not handle.
Soon the blood red tent of the knight came into view and by the time it approached Jade had a formed a light sweat that slowly dripped down her forehead. Her arm and neck ached from the barrels awkward shape, and she knew it would be a relief when she could finally put it down and let the blood flow normally again. The crowd was doing everything they could to distract her, even to the point of bribing Jade with food and little trinkets, but she drowned them out. She focused instead on her own heartbeat, when she finally arrived to the tent she dropped the rabbits and then slowly lowered the barrel the ground where it balanced steadily in the cropped grass. She turned to the crowd that had followed and smiled at her stubborn accomplishment, the crowd laughed and people clapped her on the back and James went about settling the bets and before long everyone disappeared back to their own campsites. James turned, holding a pie in each hand and the purse with the coin was situated firmly between his teeth as he grinned at her.
“Where did you get those pies from?” She asked and then held up her hands, “Never mind, I don’t even care.”
“What the hell is all the noise out here?” Reed, Garth, and Yates all popped their heads out of the large tent.
“Let him explain,” She shoved a thumb at James. Jade scooped the rabbits off the ground and handed them to Yates. “Here these are for dinner.” James recalled the events that had happened when everyone settled down around the cook fire and sipped at the wine that Jade had carried. Phantom had appeared out of their tent and settled down next her in the grass and she stroked his fur absently. Everyone laughed and lifted their mugs to Jade and Reed counted the extra money that had made in the short time. They ate the rabbits and dug into the pies until everyone had their fill, and fade fed Phantom whatever was left, and he chewed at the bones and meet happily.
“Maybe we could do this every night.” James said motioning to the destroyed pies that he had also managed to win. “We might walk away rich men as everyone gets drunk.”
“Everyone is just in a good mood tonight and excited for the real festivities to start. No one will want to bet on your silly game when there’s a real tournament going on.” Reed chastised him like he was a small foolish boy.
James shrugged, “Well it was a good night anyway. I hope Merek and Lander stop by, it would be good to see them in earnest.”
Reed paused at that and nodded, “It would indeed.”
She was curious what the connection between Reed was with Lander and Merek. There was a story there she was sure but she was too tired to ask so she closed her eyes instead and dozed off with her fingers entwined in Phantoms fur. When she woke up around the fire again only a short time later she retired to her tent with Phantom for the night. But the camp grounds were loud and full of drunken laugher, song, and petty arguments. Eventually Jade grew more irritated and stormed out of her tent. The men were still up drinking and laughing, a few other people had gathered around the fire and shared stories. They recognized Jade as the barrel girl and greeted her, she said nothing but instead took the mug of wine from James hand, drank its entire contents in a single go, and stormed back to her tent and proceeded to try to sleep.
The wine helped a little, but in the morning when the sun rose Jade felt groggy and un-rested. Phantom, however, seemed perfectly content and licked her face when she opened her eyes and yawned. “Stop.” She pushed him away with a bit of laughter when his cold nose found her neck. She lay on her back for a while and watched the inside of her tent lighten as the sun slowly rose. “I’m hungry.” She told Phantom and she could feel from him that he could use a good breakfast as well. Jade pulled on her clothes and buckles the Katana to her waist. She was sure she wouldn't need it, but as always she felt exposed when it wasn't at her side.
Jade pulled on her boots and Phantom followed her out of the tent. The men were asleep around the now cold fire pit, and she noted that the wine barrel was empty. Jade would be surprised if they woke any time soon and decided to find her own breakfast and eat in peace. Even in the early morning things were alive, the buzz of voices was a constant hum in Jades ears as she walked down the main open path that ran through the grounds like a scar. The place was like a nest with small webs branching out in all directions. Phantom dropped his head occasionally to pick up a smell and she opened up the connection between them until there was little distinction between her thoughts and his own. She was curious, if nothing else, about what he thought of this place, and what scents he picked up. He was alert as he should be, but not as tense as she expected, which made her smile. He was learning fast, faster than she could have hoped. He picked up scents of animals and strangers and food but he dismissed all of them until he came upon a musky unfamiliar scent of a wolf. That made both him and Jade stop in their tracks. She watched as his nose stopped on a particular spot of earth, nothing else moved just the small twitch of his nostrils. She couldn't smell what he was, but the emotion the scent brought translated clearly enough. Not a dog scent, but definitely a wolf. Phantoms eyes lifted to Jade, both of them were unsure. Jade looked around, the main strip was busy, but not so busy that Jade couldn't scan ahead and behind her without too much difficulty of seeing how was about.
There ahead of them, she spotted the scent that Phantom had picked up and his eyes followed hers as her emotions translated between them. The Protector and his Guardian were down a ways, standing in front of a large tent with a simple gold flag at the top. There were horses tethered outside and the Protector was talking to a man wearing light training armor. Jade instinctively told Phantom to get out of sight and they both dove between the nearest tents and hid.