@/silkysofas on twitter, hmu
ghost au...? coz he's a ghost but also like in human form to those who need him and sort of like a guardian angel as well. :)
marvin has become used to the voice of his dead lover being in his head. he heard him everywhere, smelt him everywhere, and sometimes, even saw him everywhere.
marvin ignored all of this until one day he collapsed while hanging out with cordelia. she immediately called charlotte and he was taken to the hospital.
he'd known this would happen some time, and sometime soon. it had been a few months, but he could feel himself grow weaker with each day. it was inevitable, so he didn't want to make a fuss about it.
the voice of whizzer filled the hospital room.
"dels, it's kind of cold in here," marvin began.
"say no more, love," cordelia grabbed a spare blanket and a robe for marvin and poured some soup for him. "she's improving her cooking skills," was a thought that brightened marvin's mood.
"get some good rest, okay," she massaged his shoulders as she helped him put his robe on.
"will do," marvin smiled.
"goodnight!"
and now he was alone. alone with himself and his thoughts.
"hey marvin," whizzer said.
"not now please.." marvin mumbled to himself in the dark.
"why not, marvie? we're finally alone."
with that marvin felt a weight on his shoulder.
startled, he jumped and turned, but there was nobody there.
"over here, babe," whizzer said with a chuckle, emerging toward marvin from the dark.
"wh- ho- how? am i dreaming?"
"haha, no," whizzer sat down on the bed. marvin sat up and brought his legs away from the.. ghost? "then, am i dead?!"
"well- no, no marvie.. im here to help you-" the figment was cut off.
"you're not real. you can't be. im just tired. goodnight room!!" marvin rolled onto his side and closed his eyes forcefully. it looked as if he were straining and hiding from something he feared, not trying to fall asleep.
"you can't hide from me, im here to help you," 'whizzer' grabbed marvin's wrist. marvin hesitated and almost tore his arm away from his lover, but was calmed by the familiar, rough yet loving touch.
"help me with what," marvin inquired in a shaken and quiet voice.
"conquering," whizzer sighed happily while he rubbed his thumb comfortingly up and down marvin's palm.
whizzer hummed for a couple minutes, continuing to comfort his boyfriend as best he could. he was still scared how marvin would react if he acted too rash or abrupt.
once he was sure marvin was asleep, he laid at his side on the very edge of the bed.
yes, he was very dead, yet very there at the same time. he'd been wandering in what seemed like a void for so long. sometimes he'd visit marvin, sometimes he'd visit jason and his parents, sometimes even cordelia and charlotte. most often he awoke in the hospital. he visited the other patients with a similar story to his, but he also enjoyed visiting the nicu and the waiting room. the nicu because he was happy seeing the small babies getting the chance to live the life the deserve. the waiting room because every so often there'd be bad news, but every time, which thankfully was the majority of the time, there'd be good news. he watched as all the family members stood up, embraced each other, cheered, and even cried. it filled whizzer with warmth and glee. he sometimes cried with them.
he wished there had been such an occasion for him, for all the others he watched slowly crumble to their demise, and for marvin.
whizzer laid there all night. around 6:40am, marvin awoke. he sat up and whizzer greeted him. "good morning cutie! how are we feeling?"
marvin jumped a little and coughed, "i-i forgot you were here now," he mumbled.
"it's okay, i forgot i was here for a moment too," whizzer stood up and tried to pour marvin a cup of water, yet he couldn't seem to pick up the pitcher.
"well, this is embarrassing, huh.." he shyly laughed at himself.
"it's okay, i can get it," marvin pushed his covers to the bottom of the bed and swung his legs carefully over the side of the bed.
"are- are you sure?" whizzer looked at him with wide eyes. whizzer felt guilty that he couldn't be anything more than emotional support. he wanted to be there for marvin like marvin was for him. he wanted nothing more than that, yet he couldn't. he felt worthless. he almost wished he'd go back to being invisible in this moment.
marvin saw how upset he was in his eyes and his subtle fidgeting. it really was whizzer, wasn't it? he was now noticing things. he didn't see in the whizzer in his dreams. the small details like how he played with the bottom of his shirt and how much he used his eyebrows to express his emotions as he spoke.
"of course it's okay," marvin stood and waddled over to the table. it was small, rectangular, and on wheels. whizzer tried to push the table to him, but again, he failed.
"i wish i could be a bit more useful," whizzer laughed awkwardly.
"can i say something," marvin changed the subject.
"go for it. im all ears," whizzer smiled.
"i want to go home. i want to leave the hospital and just.. be at home," he finished talking and chugged the paper cup filled with water.
"you have help here marvin. you have everything here that you need marvin. why would you want to go home?"
"im comfortable at home. there's jason.. sometimes, there's my bed, there's.. there's my couch and my table and my- my kitchen and my- my life! whizzer, that's my life.. you're- you're there. you're my life... i can't just- just leave that all behind, you know..?" mavin was out of breath. he was shaken and scared out of his mind.
"sit down, calm, okay? let's take a deep breath," whizzer touched marvin and suddenly he was calmed. he touched the bed, felt solid matter, and was also calmed.
"you have jason here. im sure he'll be here everyday with a chessboard and you're favorite foods and drinks. if it'll help, ask dels to bring some of your stuff here like blankets and pillows. and me- well im here aren't i," whizzer took marvin into his arms. they enjoyed each others warmth for a good minute before separating.
"i guess you're right. god, how'd you keep such a cool face during all this. i just want to scream," marvin gave a slight chuckle and stared into whizzer's eyes.
"i didn't. i just couldn't be weak in front of you. i couldn't- i couldn't put that weight on your shoulders," whizzer put his hands on marvin's shoulders and rubbed them gently. marvin wanted him to kiss him so badly. he wanted them to go home and sit on their couch and watch tv with some wine.
they were both scared. whizzer felt out of place being seen and he was scared it wouldn't go back to being the same as when he was, well, living.
marvin was scared of whizzer, a ghost? a spirit? and of course, death. he was losing his mind slowly and painfully. besides the weak and unsettling feeling in his stomach already, he felt his insides turn with each thought.
"good morning marv!" charlotte and cordelia entered the room.
panicked, marvin looked to his other side at.. whizzer.
"they can't see me, marvin. only you can. i tested this out already," whizzer explained.
"marv, you okay? you seem as if you've seen a ghost," charlotte asks.
"yeah, yeah im feeling as usual," he let out a chuckle. charlotte didn't find his comment very amusing.
"i have food! it's a potato soup, not crazy heavy but still more sustenance than i gave you yesterday." cordelia placed her insolated bag on the counter. charlotte gave marvin a slightly better room, privileges that came from befriending a doctor.
"thank you so much," marvin fixed himself in his bed.
cordelia fixed him a bowl and brought it to him.
"you're seriously gonna eat that," whizzer butted in as marvin shoveled it down. marvin laughed out loud, quite loudly. "yes," he exclaimed.
"hm? did you call," cordelia shouted from the bathroom.
"no- no im all good," marvin replied. the men laughed together.
"i might not be back today, marv. it's an early wedding, but a wedding," cordelia came out and helped marvin clean up. he couldn't go to far by himself, being weak and due to his iv. "jason and trina will be by around 3 when jason is out of school."
"alright, thanks dels," the thought of jason coming to see him in the hospital filled marvin with dread.
the day was filled with naps and catching up. it made marvin feel more comfortable about what was to come, even though he wasn't sure he wasn't going insane still. whizzer just seemed, so.. real? so he believed he was and ignored the thoughts that he may just be going completely insane instead of the partial psychotic-ness he already knew he possessed.
"dad?" a voice was heard faintly.
"come in guys," marvin called.
jason ran in and hugged his father. "jason, careful," trina scolded him.
"no, he's fine. im not made of glass," marvin smiled and ruffled jason's hair.
"shit, i forgot something in the car," trina put her purse down and took her car keys out of them. "ill be right back, boys, okay, jason.. behave." with that she was gone.
"probably just wanted to get out of this awkward mess," whizzer remarked in a rather rude tone.
jason's eyes bugged out of his head and back away from the window.
"oh.. hey jason, kid. you've gotten pretty big. thirteen's a big number," whizzer smiled at his stepson.
"dad... i think i need a doctor," jason exclaimed, grabbing the doorknob to the door leading into the hallway.
"don't freak out son, can you-"
"see a freaking ghost?! yes," jason was yelling.
"calm down, we don't want to alert anyone," marvin motioned for jason to come sit on the bed with him. slowly, he shook his head in agreement and came to sit.
"you're sick like- whizzer.. right," jason asked.
the two lovers made eye contact before marvin replied,"yes, yeah.. i am."
"so you'll..-"
marvin brought jason into his chest and wrapped his arms around him. he was still small enough to fit perfectly. "yes," is all he said to the boy.
they remained in that position for a bit. whizzer joined after a short while, one arm around each of his men.
"what a sweet sight to see," trina said. no one had seen that she'd came back. she held a lovely bouquet of white roses in her arm and tears in her eyes.
they hung around until 6pm. marvin ate around 8 and they watched movies until 11.
"you've been quiet since jason and trina left," whizzer spoke softly.
"yeah, i guess i don't have anything to say anymore," marvin replied. whizzer could see how upset he was. a sight he was sadly used to seeing, the tear-y-eyed marvin, except for his chin quivered the slightest and his motions were hesitant. "you can cry if you need to, marvie," whizzer tried fo comfort him.
and he did. he cried into the crook of whizzer's neck. after about 10 minutes of sobbing pretty consistently, he calmed down.
"did it hurt whizzer... you know.." marvin choked on his words.
"well..no, no my love.. i felt- terrible yes, disgusting and like living hell. the "you know" itself didn't feel like anything."
whizzer pat marvin on the back slowly.
"other than sickly, how did you feel?"
"like emotionally?" whizzer took a long breath before continuing,"i felt scared. it's not like it was an out of the blue thing, but i was comfortable. i quickly came to terms with it and just let myself be covered with yours, and jason's, and hell everyone else's love and affection. i went happy, marvie. just know you're loved."
"i love you," marvin said, followed with a hum-like sigh.
"love you too.. let's get married," whizzer suggested.
"what?"
"in yknow a bit.. let's get married," whizzer kissed marvin's cheek.
"id love that..," marvin smiled.
death didn't seem all that scary anymore.