I stood up and walked passed him. His hand brushed passed mine slightly. I unlocked the door and ran to the bathroom.
*crying*
I went in my pocket and got out a razor. I pulled up my sleeve revealing previous cuts and scars. My shaky hand found a fresh piece of flesh to cut. I pressed the razor against my skin and sliced it.
I was used to this so it didn't hurt. I was more of a relief feeling I got from it.
I grabbed some tissue and dabbed the blood away. I sighed and stared at the floor. I pulled my sleeve down and unlocked the door. My eyes were red from crying too much. I walked out of the bathroom and back to class.
Luckily Jungkook wasn't back from the cupboard. I quickly walked over to my seat and sat down. As soon as I did he came in the door.
He made his way next to me. And slumped in his chair. He slightly looked over to me but I looked out of the window.
———————————
[Jungkook's pov]
10 minutes earlier
She was crying her eyes out on the floor. I didn't know what to do or how to feel. She stood up and walked towards the door. I went to grabbed her hand but then stopped. I let her leave.
I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed.
I walked out of the broom cupboard and went to look for her.
—————
After ten minutes of searching I decided to give up and go back to class.
As I was walking back I saw her enter. I noticed her jumper. It had a red stain on its sleeve.
I just shrugged it off. My conscience was on her, I don't know why It just was. I put my hands in my pockets and walked to the classroom door. I opened it slowly and looked right over to Jasmine. She looked up at me but only for a few seconds. I made my way over to her. She backed away as I sat down.
I wanted to talk to her, without shouting or being a dick. "J-jasmine?" Why the hell am I stuttering.
She looked up at me. Our eyes caught for a moment. When I looked into her eyes I saw nothing but pain and fear.
I looked down at the red stain on her jumper. I was curious to what it was. I gently grabbed her hand.
She flinched.
I felt scars on her under her sleeve. I creased my eyebrows and pulled up her sleeve. She grabbed my hand to stop me but I already saw what was there.
"Jasmine...did you do that to yourself?" I asked her the question already knowing the answer. She just looked at me and yanked her arm out of my hand.
"W-why do you do that to yourself?" Jasmine smiled and shook her head.
"I think you already know the answer to that." She had a cold tone to her voice.
"What?"
"Why are you asking? You don't care about me."
"I..."
I sighed, I knew I fucked up. I fucked up big time and I don't know how to come back from this fall. But I have to try.
"Jasmine I nev-."
The bell rang and she shot up. She packed up her stuff and left. I did the same and left.
——————————
[end of school]
I was walking towards the school gates.
"Baby! Wait for me."
"Hey Gia."
She jumped in my arms. I chuckled lightly.
"Jungkook?"
"Yes"
"I want you to come over to mine." She bit her lip. I knew what she wanted, I didn't feel like it but she wants it so I'll give it to her.
"Fine."
She grabbed my arm and dragged me into her car.
———————————
[Jasmine's pov]
I met Mandy outside of school. She smiled and pulled me into a hug "Lets get you home."
I nodded and we got into the car. She drove out of the school car park and onto the main road. I just looked out of the window and thought about my life.
My life isn't all great but there are some ups. Like Mandy, my brother, my mum....well that's it really. I don't have anyone else except for them, but I love them dearly.
The bad things in my life. I have a lot of them but I don't want people to feel sorry for me. I just live with the pain but always remember there is someone out there going through worst than me. And that's the people that others should be sorry for. Not me.
______________
Mandy pulled up to my house
I gave her a hug and thanked her for dropping me off. I hopped out of the car and she drove off. I walked up to my door when I saw Jungkook and Georgia walking up the road. Hand in hand and smiling. Jungkook looked up and saw me. His face dropped, I quickly unlocked my front door and ran inside.
I shut the door and put my hands against it breathing heavily. I looked up and saw a note
📝 note:
Jassie I working the late shift tonight and you're brother is at Auntie Dena's house for a sleepover with your cousins. There is lasagna in the oven . I will be home in the morning. Call me if you need anything.
Mum xxx
I sighed and walked upstairs to my room. I threw my bag on the floor and started to undress. I was just in my underwear.
I looked in the mirror. You could see my rib cage through my skin. My thigh gap has gotten wider and my arms were really small. I look unhealthy, even though I'm skinny. I still don't feel happy.
"Maybe I should eat something."
I put on some shorts and a t-shirt and went downstairs to the kitchen. I opened the oven and there was a plate of lasagna with sweet corn and garlic bread. I took it and went to sit at the table.
I looked at it.
With me and food it was like a battle. Every time I ate it was like I was force feeding myself. I hated it.
I picked up my fork and took some of the mince. I slowly brought it up to my mouth.
I hesitantly placed it in my mouth.
——————-
I stopped eating. I tried and I did my best.
I ate half of what was on my plate.
I was proud of myself. I put the food in the bin and went back to my room.
I laid down on my bed and sighed. Even though I didn't eat much I felt fat again. I sat up and stared at my bathroom. I didn't want to but my brain was telling me yes.
Hopping off the bed I walked into the bathroom. I knelt down and stuck my finger down my throat.
I threw up again.
———————
I texted Mandy
Me-Mandy I did it again.
💕Bestie❤️- Oh babe, you need to see someone about it.
Me-Idk what's wrong with me
Me- I don't want to be like this, sometimes I feel like ending it.
💕Bestie❤️-I'm coming over. We need a serious talk.
Me- okay.
💕Bestie❤️ offline
I put my phone down and was holding a razor blade in my hands. I was shaking like mad sitting in the corner of my bathroom. I had the blade to my wrist. Tears rapidly fell from my eyes.
I pressed the razor down on my wrist
"Bye"