"[f/n]"
"[f/n]?"
You jerk your head up quickly, the light in the restaurant room blinding you for a few seconds, the figures of the people in front of you seeming distant and almost angelic. With your head throbbing, your surroundings seemed to turn into kaleidoscopes before you blink a few times to try to concentrate properly. After a long minute, you were able to assess the situation in front of you. Atsushi was there, standing with a stern look, and next to him, to your surprise, was Yosano, her analytical gaze making you self conscious of your state knowing she is a doctor. You quickly straighten yourself up, looking between Atsushi and Yosano, both unsure what to be expecting from you. Whatever their expectations were, you did not meet them.
"You threatened us knowing you're in this state?" Atsushi asks before you can get your thoughts together.
"I could still beat both your asses" you say with a confidence and attitude that did not match your look. Yosano scoffs, slamming on the table her medical bag and eyeing you with a calm impatience.
"Don't waste our time. What do you want?" Yosano demands, pushing Atsushi to the side.
You look at her and roll your eyes, turning away to cough, a slow shiver running up your spine.
"I need to know how the were-tiger got control of his ability. I need to know how he stopped it from consuming him."
Atsushi's eyes widen and Yosano pulls back and looks at him questioningly, like she didn't know what to make of your request.
"You threatened innocent people for that?"
"So what?"
Atsushi sighs, placing a hand in the table and glaring at you.
"We have no business with you, especially if you aren't here for the Port Mafia. I won't help you. Not after what you did to Tanizaki. Even Dazai didn't want to come see you."
Though you weren't exactly surprised, you couldn't say that hearing that Dazai didn't even offer to come made you wonder if you had finally bored him, if he finally realized you weren't a game. You couldn't tell what you wanted it to mean.
"I need to know. Please." You beg, a desperation you didn't realize you had in you coming out.
"No. I-" Atsushi starts, but Yosano interrupts him immediately, concern clouding her dark magenta eyes when she replied to you.
"Atsushi joined the agency. That's what helped him. That's what gave him control." She says, taking back her bag and turning to walk away, signalling that the conversation was over.
Seeing them both turn away, you got up from your seat with aggression, reaching for them to come back.
"Take me. Take me." You repeat to them, a panic rising in you when they refuse.
"She obviously got out of control...This fever is most likely an affect...It's on her"
"I'll make you take me." You suddenly say with a small deranged smile. "I'll prove to Akutagawa I can survive. I won't fail Chuuya" you add to yourself, walking to a table of strangers and tapping the couple, your dark blue glow surrounding them both. You take hold of their collars and throw them to the ground in front of the two horrified agency members. They hadn't seen you work on two people at the same time, and you didn't think they knew you could now.
"Did you know there are only three things I hate? Being alone in the dark...." you take a few steps to stand directly behind the people in the floor in an unimaginable mental agony.
"Weakness, my own weakness..." you continue, Yosano holding atsushi back from attacking you and causing a mess in the restaurant.
"And the cold. I hate the cold. It's always after me...and she's growing. I thought the Port Mafia had given me a reason to let her loose. But now I'm hurting and it's on me. I wanted to die, but now I refuse to die like this." You finish. The longer the people on the floor suffocate in their own grief, the colder you get. Except it's different this time. It's harsher, your body can't take so much. Your already sick self starts coughing, breaking into cold sweats.
Your ability Annabel Lee begs to be used, to be given purpose. You were letting it win. The cold was catching up to you. Ever since you got into the mafia, your need for power and satisfaction to have complete control over the lives of others has made you blind to any consequences. Chūya's warmth intoxicated you. And the stories you'd always heard of how Akutagawa found greatness in the Mafia fed you the greatest lies. You wanted that same legacy, but now you knew there was something wrong with who you'd let yourself be.
Yosano lets go of Atsushi, and he runs to you with am activated clawed hand. You move away just in time, pulling out a gun with your shaking hand. You point at Atsushi, but don't take into account Yosano, who jabs a scalpel into your shoulder, making you cry out and lose the hold on the couple you had, the gun also dropping to the floor.
You feel blood start to drop when Yosano pulls the scalpel out, and you cover your shoulder, looking at Atsushi and Yosano with a look of pure helplessness.
"I will keep going unless you take me." You assure them, your cough stronger, your throat burning as your skin freezes up and your fever makes your head feel like it's on fire.
"You'll die" Atsushi points out, anger seeping through every part of him.
"You won't let me" you say back, and you feel Yosano take a hold of you firmly, pressing against the wound she made. You wince, unable to move anymore.
"She's right. Let's just give her what she wants. All we need to do is bring her to the agency." Yosano insists, and by the way she talks you can tell she's already thought it all through.
You knew there'd be protest to your presence, but all you had to do was make it there.
For now.
-❦-
Yosano and Atsushi kept their word and took you to the Armed Detective Agency office right away. Bloody, sick, your hair still damp from the rain, you assumed you probably looked like a stray kissing death. You were well aware of it all when Atsushi and Yosano brought you in, and everyone stopped what they were doing immediately. Currently in the office, you could see Ranpo, Kunikida, Kenji, and in the middle of it all, Dazai.
Atsushi and Yosano looked at each other with uncertainty before deciding to let you go from their grasp, leaving you standing in front of everyone by yourself, your eyes scanning the room for any hostile movements. Nobody attacked you, but after Atsushi explained what had happened, loud protests erupted through the room. Kunikida kept going on about how you were dangerous, and it was irresponsible to invite you in, and Ranpo made it clear that even if everything else hadn't happened, you were still Port Mafia and they didn't owe you anything. Amongst the conversation, Dazai stood silent, staring straight at you without betraying any emotion.
"I need help" you say, forcing yourself to talk loud enough so everyone could hear you. It was the first time you'd admitted it out loud, and upon hearing that you could see Dazai's face shift from nothing to a hint of surprise.
"How do we know you aren't just planning something with the Port Mafia?" Kenji asks, and before Atsushi could explain against that idea, Dazai talks for the first time since you got here.
"She's not." He assures them, walking towards you and stopping less than a metre away.
Your heart pounds in your chest the closer he gets, and you almost forget what you told him last time. You had wanted nothing to do with him, you had insisted he was wrong about you. Yet now, you show up back here, and you've only proved him right. You didn't feel anger, nor hatred you thought you had reserved for him. Instead, you're relieved. Although you hadn't wanted to involve Dazai at first, seeing him now, all you wanted was him to be there. You knew he could get you all the answers.
Dazai assesses you in the moment, looking back at his colleagues to add "She's only just realized something I've been telling her from the beginning."
Out of impulse, you reach out and take Dazai's hand, your imbalance from dizziness due to you current condition causing him to help you steady yourself, but you try to straighten up and look into his eyes with a sudden melancholic regret.
"I've over exerted myself. It's going to kill me." You whisper, and Dazai's hard gaze softens, his head turning to the agency watching carefully.
"We can't do anything for her, Dazai." Kunikida commands, his arms crossed against his chest, his face revealing no sympathy. He was not changing his mind.
"We have to."
Dazai's tone surprises you, but what surprises you more is Kunikida's answer.
"You don't get to decide. You're biased. You've said it yourself, she makes your judgement clouded. You believe in her. You like her, Dazai. But she is dangerous and whatever she's done we can't help her."