Lorelei cut her hair. It doesn't look bad but it's different. I might take a while to get used to it. She's still really pretty though.
When we got in the air we relaxed into our seats. Well after our initial take off we relaxed. Lorelei was getting airsick for the first hour or so. Actually Lorelei relaxed into her seat. I couldn't. My mind was still filled with the conversation I had with my mother.
It freaks me out that she has the upper hand over us at the moment. Alexandra is one scary woman. I don't care that she raised me, we lost all connection when she threatened Lorelei for the first time.
"Elijah? You zoned out. Do you need to tell me something?" Lorelei interrupted my thoughts.
"Oh sorry. Did I tell you I liked your hair?" I asked her.
Lorelei self consciously grabbed at her shortened hair. I'm not sure if she regrets her decision to cut it or not. It was such a change. Her hair was really wavy and that seemed to make it seem shorter.
"Yes only the last few times." Lorelei laughs a little.
I guess she wanted change. Something she could be in control of and I guess she assumed her physical appearance was the only thing she was actually in control of changing.
I guess it makes sense in my mind. All of us need some way to deal with the tragedies that have happened to us. When I looked over at Lorelei she was writing in a journal.
"What are you writing?" I asked looking over her shoulder.
"N-nothing!" She stammered as she snapped the book shut.
"I may not be extremely bright but I'm pretty sure you were writing something." I point out.
Lorelei looks down at her lap where the black notebook rests. Then she looks back up at me.
"Fine, but only when I'm done." She tells me in complete seriousness.
"Right." I nod.
She gets back to writing in her notebook and it leaves me to wonder about what she's writing. What is going on in her head. The one thing no one can understand, the mind of a teenage girl. Maybe this time I can understand just a little bit.
After sitting for a few minutes Lorelei hands over her note book and in her small and delicate handwriting is a poem.
A single moment
So bittersweet
A ghost in my memory
Do I free it
Or hold on forever
A single moment
So finite
One decision
So big
Yet so small
So huge
But in the end
Nothing at all
I feel like
A stranger in
My mind
Like an intruder
Wandering aimlessly
With no business there
I must leave
But I can't
I have to leave
Before this poem ends
But a poem
Never ends
It just stops moving
Holy crap. I didn't expect Lorelei to be a poet. But here is my proof. Lorelei placed before me a poem filled with a deeper meaning than I ever thought possible.
"Oh my stars. Lorelei this poem is so good." I read over it again.
"Thanks. But it's just something I threw together." She was being modest.
"When did you start writing poetry?" I asked her.
"Oh I've been writing poetry forever. It's kind of like a therapy kind of thing." Lorelei smiles.
"I can understand that." I tell her.
"It's kind of embarrassing though. Sometimes I used to think that I lived only for poetry." She looked down at her lap and her short hair falls into her face.
I brush it away.
"You know I feel like short hair suits you more than your long hair." I tell her.
Lorelei gives me a side smile as she tucks her hair behind her ear.
"Why did you cut it though." I asked her.
"I don't know. I was feeling awful that night. I just couldn't stand myself. I needed to change something so I took it out on my hair. I bet if I was thinking straight I could have at least made the cuts even." She smirked a little.
"It looks good." I answer immediately.
"Thanks." She smirked.
"Is there another poem I can read soon?" I asked her.
"Sure." She flipped to a page in her little black journal and handed it to me.
Pristine white
So pure
Gliding effortlessly
Twirling elegantly
Round and around
In endless circles
Until he came
Bleeding black
Over my white
I shoved him out
He shoved me back in
His darkness
Puzzles me
He grabs my waist
He pulls me tight
We blend together
He leaves
Black finger prints
Where he
Holds me close
The pristine white
The coal black
Blends to grey
We stand out
But dance together
In beautiful harmony
Is this poem about me? I can't think of anyone else it would be about.
"I wrote this a few months ago. And yes it is about you. It was back when we were broken up and I realized just how different we were and how deeply you influenced me." Lorelei looked down at the page.
I examined it more closely. The ink was ruined in some places. Tears stained the pages. Did she cry during this poem? Did she cry over me?
"What did you mean when you said 'he leaves black fingerprints where he holds me close'?" I asked her softly.
"I mean how much you influenced me and my decisions. I would look back at my choices and realize had I not met you I would have been a completely different person. You leave marks on me, whether or not you see them." She explains to me.
"I hope you understand what I'm getting at." She whispers aloud but mostly to herself.
"I believe I am." I tell her.
I get that it was rhetorical but I think she needed to know that I did understand her and all her thinking. Well maybe not all her thinking but enough to understand parts of her.
"Everything is going to be different when we land isn't it?" Lorelei asks me.
"Yep." I acknowledged.
"heaven help us all." Lorelei sighed.