Sanaz was shaking her head and taking out the clothes she had roughly stuffed in suitcase, neatly folding it and packing it back in. While Falak was lying back on the cushion near the window, playing with Akira.
"So you're telling me that Recycled Plastic Barbie is your sister." Falak squinted at her. Rabail nodded. "Eeeew... I got a cold shiver just listening to that... it couldn't be like someone else... i don't know some celebrity." Falak made a face and Rabail just laughed.
"Recycled Barbie is not even the problem. There are like two other siblings and all of them are Surgeons. Do you know what I feel like... that token failed sibling... not that we are full Siblings or even siblings but like still."
"Like all of them are Surgeons? The Mom too?" Sanaz raised her eyebrows.
"Mhmmmm. I mean I'm just a baby journalist with a small website." Rabail flopped back on the bed.
"You'll survive." Falak scoffed. "But do you have a hot billionaire surgeon brother. Like I'm totally ready to be a trophy wife. You know the one that waves at charities wearing those big sun hats and obnoxious sunnies."
"Falak!" Sanaz threw her hands in the air. "Let me get Rayyan and you repeat that in front of him."
"DON'T EVEN SAY HIS NAME IN FRONT OF ME." Falak fummed.
"What did you do this time?" Sanaz and Rabail looked at each other said it together.
"ME? I didn't do anything. I was just going 90 and he pulled me over and gave me a speeding ticket. Then he is like if I catch you speeding next time. I'm going to suspend your license with 500 hours of community service."
Sanaz and Rabail's eyes met and they burst out laughing at fuming Falak.
"He is the only who can straighten you up." Sanaz high fived Rabail. "I'm just surprised how is he still holding up and dealing with you. I mean he really is blinded by love."
"Go die, bîtch," She threw a cushion on Rabail's face and took Akira with her and started leaving.
"FALAK!" Rabail yelled between her fits of laughter. "Asfi left some Biryani for you. He said you can have as much as you want."
Falak stopped in her tracks and flipped her hair over shoulder.
"Just so you know, Akira and Asfandyar are my only two favorites in this house." She stomped her foot and went to the kitchen.
"I'm so happy she found Rayyan though!" Rabail fell back on the bed. "And that he doesn't let her get away with most things."
"She's been so much happier. I've seen her change for better." Sanaz zipped the suit case and on to the other one. "You haven't changed with your stupid habits. Who packs like this?" Sanaz scolded her.
"I mean I m gonna have to take it out again and iron it again so why not just stuff it in. Why do I have to make everything so presentable?" She shook her head as Falak was back with a plate full of Biryani and yogurt.
"I forgot to ask you," She said as she sat back near the window with her plate of food. "Are you going to see your father before you leave for Pakistan?"
"Maybe." She sighed, staring at ceiling and following the patterns. "We only have a week so I'm gonna see how I am feeling. I don't want to go to Pakistan with a bad start and feeling. I want this trip to be for us. For our time together. So I m not too sure."
"Did your mom call after your attempt?" Sanaz asked. God, it was so weird updating them on her life. Living witht them, they knew everything and now she was so close to them still but life was not the same.
"She did. Twice." She remembered the phone ringing, but she didn't have the courage to answer.
"Did you talk to her?" Both Sanaz and Falak were now listening to her intently.
"No." She closed her eyes. "I don't think so I ever can. At least that's why I feel like now, but maybe it'll be different in future. But for now I can't forget what she put me through because of her mistakes." She gulped, hearing her own voice cracking as pain slipped through those cracks. "It was not my fault to be born in that situation. It was her choice to do what she did so why did she put me through all that?"
"I'm learning to heal. I'm learning to love myself. Learning to let go and not feel guilty about how I copped with what was thrown at me. But I haven't yet been able to forgive her. Maybe I never will. Maybe I will. But for now. I just want accept the fact that Allah has given me this chance to live again with a person who loves me and accepts me with all my flaws and without requiring surname and titles."
"Gosh, Rabi Bear. I am so proud of you." Falak wrapped her around her. "You deserve every ounce of happiness and love in this world. I'm so proud of you and how far you've come along."
"It wouldn't have possible without you guys." She held on to both of them.
"Okay that's it this is becoming too emotionally touchy. Let me out." Falak tried to let her go, but Sanaz and Rabail laughed and hugged her even more tightly. "Eww guys!!"
/////
"You know Rabail is not leaving without you. She bought the ticket for you. Literally the seat next to her. I think she is one step away from stealing handcuffs from Rayyan and handcuffing you to her own wrist and tagging you along to our honeymoon too."
Asfandyar snacked on pretzels as he tried to convince Zach on more time. The latter sat on the stool of his kitchen counter with eyes closed and his hands shoved in his over grown hair.
"How did you get that bandage on your hand?"
Zach pulled away his hand from his hair and stared at it. His anger still simmering within him. The ache had seeped in his bones. Fùçk it hurt. He closed his eyes again.
"Just got cut accidentally." He was lost in his thoughts.
"Okay. Like accidentally broken window. Accidentally shattered glass. The window glass probably accidentally hit you instead." He popped another piece of pretzel in his mouth and calmly called out his best friend's bullshít.
Zach didn't bother replying he just hunched over the counter and took a swig of his sparkling water.
"Zachary." He left his seat and walked towards him. Putting a hand on his shoulder, but it seemed his best friend was too tired to even turn. "It's time to go home. It's been too long."
"I can't."
Asfandyar took in a long breath, trying to form a sentence and putting his thoughts in words.
"My sister needs you, man."
Those words... Zach turned his head so fast, he almost got a whiplash. Staring back at his tattooed friend with a mix of shock and confusion.
"I know. About you and Ayla. I should've let you know about it long ago, but I think I just needed to accept it myself first. For some bizarre reason you're everything to my sister." He took a step back, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I don't know what happened between you two, but I know it affected both of you. For past ten years, you have been restless and in pain, and I know she feels the same. I've seen her empty eyes. I've seen the broken words and the ache she's been holding within."
Zach wasn't sure what to do anymore. Before anything it was that he could never say No to Asfandyar, but the other thing being, Asfandyar knew everything.
Everything?
No way he knew everything. The chances of him being alive in one piece were quite slim if Asfandyar knew everything.
"Let's go home, Zach."
"Asfand... I..." God, how could he tell him he was holding up a promise given to his sister that he'd never return. Ever.
"Promise me you're going to stand by sister when I'm not there. Promise you're going to protect hEr from here on." It was a brother pleading for their lost time. "She needs your protection, your support, and your love, Zachary. Let's go home. If not for anything at least for Ayla's sake."
What was this test by fate that each sibling asked for a promise that contradicted the other? Where was this dilemma taking him?
////
"He is not here yet." She looked over the rush of people in the airport once again.
"Stop fidgeting." He held her hand in his, intertwining their fingers to stop her from fidgeting around as she waited for Zach. "He said. He is going to be here so he is going to be here. I went to see him yesterday and he said he is going with us, okay?" She nodded, but still tapped her leg against the chair. He shook his head and chuckled.
The announcement for the gate happened, still there was no sign of him. She was getting agitated. Trying to calm her breathing as they walked to the gate.
"Asfiii." She whined.
"Stop acting like a baby, Rabi." He shook his head. "He is going to be here. "There. Happy now?" He rolled His eyes.
And there he was walking towards them and winked at Rabail. She just sneered at him.
"Sorry, Noor. Some personal business came up." He smiled at her and then walked passed her. "Let's go, you're making us late, Noor."
Her jaw dropped open.
"I'M making you late? ME?" She fumed, smoke almost coming out of her scarf clad ears. "You better watch out because I'm about to throw you off the plane."
Asfandyar looked up to the sky as if praying for a miracle because he dreaded the flight with his wife and his best friend.
With the mercy of God or some miracle they made it through without scratching each other's faces off and landed in another problem.
"I'm going to see you guys tonight okay?" Zach pulled on his hand-carry.
"What do you mean tonight?" Rabail crossed her arms as they waited for their suitcases to arrive. "Why not now?"
"Noor. I just need some time okay? Please."
"You're not going to runnaway right?"
"No NOOR. I SOLEMNLY SWEAR I WILL BE BACK BY TONIGHT!" Zach held his hand up and swore.
His wife just burst into a laughter, and all he could do was stare at her with an awe. how far along she has come. Her laughter was much lighter now. She was starting to be herself, comfortable in her skin.
"See you tonight." Zach bumped his fist with his and left.
He let him go because he knew he needed time to come to terms with being back at home. To face the demons of past.
/////
Ayla was standing there as he rolled out the trolly with Rabail by his side. The last time he was at this airport, he attended the funeral of his mother. The fear still roaming at the corner of his mind. His steps faltered for a second. His wife felt it as she turned around and saw his hands shaking.
"Hey," she wrapped her hands around his and softly averted his attention to her. "I'm here okay? We'll be fine."
He nodded, pulling her closer as if she had became his strength. His sole reason he was brave enough to step back in a city where he lost his mother, his brother, and his whole world.
The memories were violently thrashing in his mind as he took more steps. His mother's cold and lifeless eyes. Her body without her soul. The horror in his siblings eyes. It was all coming back.
"We don't have to go, Asfi." She squeezed his hand in assurance.
But he was here this was the last step to his closure. He needed closure to his wounds. It had been too long. He lived in his darkness too long it was time to find his light and let go of the inky past.
"We have to, Rabi."
He held on to her one more time before walking out further and they finally were close enough to Ayla for her to see them and her eyes widened before she waved back erratically.
"Lala!" She called out before running up to him and his arms. "You're here." He wrapped an around her and held her close to his heart.
A guilt still swirling within him for leaving them behind. Maybe it will forever be etched in his heart, written in his memories and buried with in him, but he needed to save himself. He needed to make a run before the poison killed him.
He let her go and she was in Rabail's arms.
"Thank you, Rabail!" She pulled back and held her hands. "For everything, but especially this."
The ride back to the villa was filled with nothing but the threads of anguish, fright, and torment getting tangled together. Once in his lifetime he knew these streets like the lines of his palms. They were his paths to his dreams, his hopes, and his home. The basketball court of middle school, where they sneaked at night to play basketball. Or the park where he watched Ayla and Kabir grow up playing. Or the track of his high school where the coach made Zach and him run ten laps in frosty morning because of the fight they got in.
Or the home where he lost his self respect. His dignity. His family. The memories thundered in him, lightening his pain on fire. The muffled screams. Eyes so red he thought they were bleeding. Broken mirrors because he was made to believe it was his fault. He couldn't face himself.
He felt a body getting plastered to him, for a second he couldn't figure out whether it was his past or his present. The line between reality and nightmare becoming a blur. And the breathing became harder. He wanted to scream for help. Asked to be saved, but the words were coiling around his neck like a noose. Fùck. He was losing his grip on himself and then he heard the voice.
The one synonymous with the first ray of dawn. Fireflies in the darkness of the night. His redemption when his past rose from ashes.
"Breathe," she whispered as she drew circles on his wrist, tracing the ink that spiraled up his arm. "You have to remember to breathe."
He held on to her, coiling his arms around her. Breathing in the scent of her. She smelled of strawberries and flowers maybe, whatever it was she smelled like home. Perhaps her scent was of the faith she had restored in him. Of the shattered pieces put together. Perhaps of the love, respect and strength they held for each other
The car came to halt and her arms tightened around him. He stared at the Villa, still standing tall in it's glory and arrogance. A dome of egos and honor written off with the blood of his family. A ruin of his torture. A monument of his destruction. This was the Khan Villa, a home to everything, but love.