Nipsey|Ermias
" I can't tell him this, he's too young to go through this hurt, can you drop me off before you go to pick him and Emani up?"
Kameron and Emani were at Nanny's house spending time with her and Rambo and yet again London was avoiding her grandmother.
"Nah you need to come to fix shit wit yo Nanny, y'all haven't talked in a month you don't feel no type of way about dat?"
"She lied to me about my wack ass mother got a whole urn sitting up on her mantle making me think she was dead all along she was a fake ass bitch who got my dad killed"
"You know yo Nanny did dat to protect you, you was too young to hear da truth"
"What about when I got older?"
" You know ya Nanny ain't do dis to hurt you, you know she was protecting you from da hurt you feel now from da truth"
London shook her head looking out the window, this was the only family my girl had and family meant a lot to me and I knew Nanny and London missed each other no matter how angry they tried to be.
"So how is dis shit any different from what you doing to Kam, I know you want to protect his feelings about his dad so what you gonna tell him, you gonna lie right?"
I knew there was no way London was going to tell Kameron his dad was dead so she was in the same position as Nanny, trying to figure out a lie to soften the punch.
"Now you standing in Nanny shoes you see how hard it is to tell a child about a death because you know how hurt they will be so you try and to either tell them some fairytale death or say the person was coming back when they won't"
"Let's just go to her house if that will shut you up about this Hussle"
"You know I'm right dats why you want me to be quiet"
"Whatever" London roller her eyes and rubbed circles around her stomach.
"I'm just saying you and yo Nann shouldn't let a trader come in between y'all strong relationship, I'm sure yo egg donor ain't giving a shit about how y'all feel"
"Your right, it still hurts though I'll never have my dad because of her I didn't want that for Kameron and it may seem like I'm taking up for Brent but trust me babe I'm not, I just feel responsible that he committed suicide and now he won't be around for Kameron"
After a lot of thinking I did feel where London was coming from, we could hate that nigga Brent all we wanted but Kam was innocent in this all and didn't deserve to have to go through this.
"I get it and I'm sure you understand now da tough decision Nanny had to go through wit altering da truth to give you a little piece of a normal childhood without your parents in it"
"Yeah let's go to her house then"
"I'll be right behind you, I know she misses you"
I put my right hand on her belly rubbing it, a little thump hit my hand, we both looked at her belly and then at each other.
"You felt dat?"
"He kicked!"
London gleamed pushing lightly at her belly to make our son kick again.
"He know daddy hand on him"
"This is so crazy we are having a baby together"
"You stuck wit me foreal foreal"
London groaned playfully resting her hand on top of mine waiting for our little boys next kick pulling up to Nanny and Rambo's house, they sat on the porch with Emani and Kam playing cards.
"Oh shit" Rambo jumped up from the table to meet London in the walkway.
"Long time no see Rambo"
London hugged him for while, he stared in awe at how her stomach had grew.
"I missed you kid"
"I missed you too and your bbq ribs"
Nanny came down hesitantly without an expression on her face, I didn't know if this would go bad or go good.
"Hey London"
"Nanny" London nodded not advancing forward to her grandmother.
"It's hot out here you want to come inside for a drink?"
Nanny rubbed her arm, I put my hand on the small of London's back pushing her forward to start taking steps to the house.
"Okay"
We all filed into the house for something to drink, London made a move for the mantle catching everybody's attention she snatched her mother's urn off opening it and dumping it upside down.
"London" Nanny tried explaining.
"Why would you lie to me and tell me this bitch was dead!"
"Come on Mani and Kam lets go out front and teach you some more about spades"
Rambo escorted the kids out to the porch closing the door behind them to give the two women their moment.
"How did you even find ou-
"That was my bad Nanny we got into it and I used it as a way to make her upset"
"Why would you even put a urn up here if she wasn't dead?"
"As far as I'm concerned she is dead to me, I'm not trying to hurt you by telling you my feelings Lonny and I'm not trying to take my anger out on you either but these are my personal feelings towards her"
London sat down putting the urn on the floor.
"If you would have told me the truth I would understand your anger, I'm angry too she took away my dad" She cried
"Lonny baby don't cry"
Nanny grab some tissue sitting down beside her rubbing her back.
" I'm just as mad as you are"
"What I told Boog in da car was y'all shouldn't allow her mother to get between y'all like dis, it should bring da both of you closer"
"I'm sorry for the way I talked to you when you deserved some sort of explanation, I let my anger do the talking and I apologize, I spent your whole life trying to protect you and knowing you were asking for some truth scared me because I knew I could no longer protect you like I was used to"
Nanny dabbed her eyes with some tissue,London laid her head on her grandmothers shoulder.
"I'm sorry for not taking your feelings into consideration and pressing too hard for you to tell me about her, I missed you Nanny I need you in my life my sons need you" London rubbed her belly.
"You having another boy, oh my God! Rambo is gonna be in heaven"
"Nanny I love you"
"I love you too"
They hugged it out, London picked the urn back up putting it in her lap.
"How about we dump this shit at Venice beach?"
"Baby girl that's a real good idea"
I smiled feeling better that they had hashed shit out and weren't letting a trader come in between them.
Boog|London
"Boog"
Hussle called me while I tried to sleep, I peered through my squinted eyes, this nigga had the lights on in the room.
"Baby sit up it's an emergency"
"Hussle this better be serious I'm fucking tired"
I sat up in bed putting my pregnancy pillow behind me, he stood at the foot of the bed.
"Blacc called said Damirus got a call from the police about Kam dad"
"Okay he's dead you couldn't tell me that in the morning?" I fluffed my pillow to lay back on my side and go back to sleep.
"That's da thing Boog dat nigga still alive"
I laughed to keep from crying, there was no way he could survive jump off of the San Francisco bridge.
"Alright stop playing and let me go to bed"
"Boog I'm serious, da cops called Damirus and told her, Blacc putting them on a jet to get to da hospital where he's at"
I was relieved that he was alive for Kameron's sake but what would I do now with him still alive? Do I let him just walk around free like he didn't rape me or do I lock him behind bars and have to lie to Kameron about why he was there?
"What am I suppose to do with that babe? Outside of being happy for my son?"
"I'm not sure Boog but whatever move you make you know I'll be in your corner supporting any choice you make"
Hussle had my back with my Nanny and now, I truly loved this man for always being my support system.
"I'm tired of the drama I want to just live a day without it"
"You gotta go through a storm before you get a rainbow Boog, yo time is coming" Hussle got up on the bed laying his head on my belly, our son kicked him forcefully.
"My baby said stop squishing him"
" I told Blacc we going out there tomorrow"
"Hussle I can't face that man you of all people should know that"
"It's for Kam and I think it will help wit yo closure and helping you heal and be genuinely happy before you have our baby"
I was amazed at Hussle wanting me to face Brent and try and get closure when he was close to killing him at one point.
"I don't know Hussle if I'm ready for that"
"You can't take da steps to being really happy if you keep of hold of shit dat caused you pain, you got to let shit go and forgive, like I said before I'm there with whatever you choose"
"You in your TD Jakes bag babe" Nipsey chuckled rubbing and kissing my stomach.
"Man I'm just trying to make sure your spirit is right, our son feel every emotion you feel and he's feeding off of it we don't want to bring a broken and sad baby into da world we want him to smile just because he's breathing dats why I'm pushing you to do dis, I hate dat nigga wit a passion for what he did to you but if talking to him helps you to heal and be happy finally then I'm all for it"
"What did I do to deserve you?" I looked at him lovingly.
"You said dat Ciara prayer she said to get Russell"
I mushed him laying back down to go back to sleep, feeling more at ease that Kameron still had his dad and more anxious to speak to Brent.
God grant me the strength!