"No facades." He replied bitterly turning away from me.
"Then what's the story?" I asked
"Payton and I were a disaster, the end."
"Can you elaborate?" I prodded.
"Mia we don't even know each other I'm not going to spill out my whole life story!" He spit out facing me now.
I cringed momentarily caught of guard.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that..." Trevor spoke gently taking a step towards me.
"You didn't seem to have a problem with prying into my life." I said quietly backing away from him.
"I know I-I...I don't know." He sighed heavily, "Sorry."
I crossed one leg over the other awkwardly gazing around the room. Obviously we both had touchy spots regarding our past. Typical teenager, no?
"You can sleep in my bed if you want..." Trevor said kicking off his shoes in the corner.
"No, its okay. I'll use the spare." I said shaking my head, looking over at the empty bed across from his.
"But that doesn't have blankets."
"This is your bed Trevor. I'll be fine." I ensured him rubbing my arms.
"Here," He said digging in one of his drawers. He pulled out an over sized grey sweatshirt and tossed it in my direction.
"Thanks." I murmured pulling the hood over my head. It was big enough where it covered my entire mini dress reaching to the midst of my thigh.
"I'm just going to get cleaned up." He said disappearing into the bathroom.
I looked around the room once more, approaching his bed side table. There was a lamp, alarm clock, laptop and picture frame. I picked up the frame carefully, planting myself on the edge of his bed. I couldn't help but smile at the family portrait, especially the look on Trevor's face as he tickled what must be his sister or cousin.
It reminded me of Abby and Mike...God I missed them. But I have been through this countless times.
Except this time I scarred my sister for life. I couldn't tell if she fully ever forgave me for what she had walked in on. The last morning of pure happiness I remember ever feeling- I remember it perfectly.
I closed my eyes tightly, lying back on Trevor's bed, curling into a small down holding the sobs that threatened me. Just the thought of Jacob that morning sent waves of sadness I couldn't forget through my being.
"Why'd you have to leave me Jake?" I whispered to myself squeezing my eyes tightly.
"He left you." Trevor stated quietly. My eyes shot open, meeting his concerned piercing oceaonic eyes. I studied him for a moment before realizing he was only in a towel. I sat up on his bed swallowing my emotions quickly
"You don't have to get up." He said walking towards the dresser. I simply shook my head, wiping beneath my eyes. Pull it together Mia, you have to.
Trevor quickly put on a pair of plaid pajama pants and was quickly squattedin frontof me.
"You know its okay to cry." He whispered, "There isn't a sign on the door that says 'no tears aloud'." He said with a sloppy grin.
I forced a chuckle adverting my eyes away from him.
"Tell me about Jake." He asked softly. "But before you do, lie down. Just toss me a pillow." He said pulling the quilt of the back of his desk chair, stretching his body out vertically next to his bed.
"You can't sleep on the floor." I shook my head.
"Who said?"
"Me."
"Well you don't have that authority." He grinned pulling a pillow off the bed himself.
I groaned and laid down on his bed, slipping beneath the soft navy blue sheets while he reached up to turn of the light.
"Tell me about Payton and you." I said quietly, rolling on my side towards his direction.
"I already told you you weren't discussing this..."He groaned.
"Please." I pouted.
He stopped for a long while before letting out a heavy breath. "I loved her." He said quietly. "She uh...but she just couldn't handle monogamy."
"Did she cheat on you?" I asked softly.
"Yeah...So I cheated on her." He whispered in shame, "I regret it all."
"Is that why she hates you?"
"She seems to forget she was the first to cheat...so does the entire school, since they only know her story."
"I'm sorry..." I murmured. I guess I'd have to hear her story, but the way Trevor spoke about it made him oh so vulnerable- I could tell I just peeled back a layer.
"Nothing to be sorry about," He sighed, "her and I aredone and that's that."
I wish I could be over Jake like that.
"Jake...You loved him?" He asked quietly.
"Yes," I swallowed, "I love him a lot." I whispered, tears welling in the corner of my eyes. I starred up through the window at the full moon outside above us, the tears finally spilling over silently. Everything reminded me of Jacob.
"Tell me about him."
That I couldn't answer as easily. How could I tell anyone about Jacob without loosing it completely or missing something important? There was just far too much to Jake that I couldn't put into words.
"We've known each other since birth..." I started, taking deep breaths. "Best friends since forever. He's smart, goofy, confident, sincere, inspiring..." I listed growing quiet.
"Why did he leave?"
I couldn't answer that. I didn't want to hear the words out loud, they were still to painful to face. I rolled away from Trevor facing the wall now, using all my strength to keep my sobs from making a sound.
"Don't cry...." Trevor whispered, his soothing hand stroking my back.
I tried pulling it together, but finally the loud sobs broke through my wall. I had never cried in front of anyone over Jacob, and now that I started I couldn't stop.Quickly, Trevor was up on his bed again pulling me into his embrace. His warm arms and body reminded me of the way Jake sheltered me, and the tears just kept coming.
"You don't deserve what he's done to you Mia, I can tell you that." He whispered resting his chin on top of my forehead.