Chapter 1. Roots
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Trees wither in the desert, at least the ones that struggle to adapt...
Proof of that is all around me. Gnarled remains of stunted things that had once dared to try and grow stare back at me, and I wonder to myself...
How much longer until I give up?
A fallen high-rise building stands tall over me as I lean against its grounded floor level. The heat of it radiates through my button-down shirt into the curve of my back. With a large sigh, I drop my head down to my chest and stare off at the pebbled walkway my worn boots dig into.
Stooping, I pluck up an oddly shaped rock and feel its weight in my hand. I can't help but notice it's so easily displaced.
Like me...
I've never really considered myself a homebody; I've skipped from place to place for as long as I could remember. Uprooting myself and trying my best to root again. My mother would always say, "You can't uproot a tree and expect the leaves not to fall off." That's how I've considered my life, like a tree being dug up and planted over and over.
I can never get myself to root long enough for my leaves to grow back.
Sighing once more I toss the stone away before hearing a grunt.
"Ouch!" Lilly's voice breaks me away from my thoughts.
She stands at the mouth of the alley, her silhouette outlined by the setting sun behind her. It barely stretches over the crumbled buildings of Phoenix Arizona, but it casts shadows onto the streets below.
A gust of wind whisks the desert sand through the abandoned allies, sweeping a thin strand of hair from Lilly's chubby cheek.
"I know I'm interrupting your personal time, but you don't have to throw things." She says sarcastically, rubbing her arm.
I offer an apologetic smile and chuckle away the discomfort. "Sorry."
Lilly's damning gaze bores into my cheek as I can sense she knows I'm avoiding her eye.
"Why is your energy off?" She waves her hand at me in accusation and folds one arm over the other, shifting her weight onto one side. Connecting with her gaze once more I recognize the squinted stare she gives when trying to read one's emotions...
I stand still for a moment and rub the palms of my hands on the jagged brick I'm pressed against bracing myself for her quick accusations. The inevitable tingle that comes from her ability starts in my cheeks and then slowly works its way down my neck. There's no fighting it, in one quick moment she knows exactly how I feel and can match it in the same fell swoop....
"I get it..." She snaps at me and steps into the shadows cascading over the passage, it grows a dark hue on her blond head.
I sigh. "I know what you're going to say," Offering a placating gesture. "We've only been here for a few weeks" I look at her with sorry eyes, knowing the reaction she will give since it's one she's given time and time over.
"But we're being trailed again, Tom's already found a new city.
"I'm sorry, I know how much you like the art store here." I tuck the stray strand of hair behind her ear as I try and empathize with her.
"Okay." Her head dips down a little, dropping my gaze as she takes a step backward avoiding my motherly hand.
"I figured it was going to happen sooner or later. The population is growing slim." The air falls silent at the weight behind those simple words. Over the years we have seen the sliming of city size from the kidnappings, and from those that have moved to more sustainable territories.
"Do you know where we're going this time?" Her voice doesn't waver but the way her eyes avert I sense she's growing distant.
"We leave for the shore tomorrow—at daybreak.
"Look, Lilly" A beam of sunlight peaks over the shadow she was hiding behind and it hits her golden locks once more, her eyes meeting mine.
"I know it's hard on you... Hell, it's hard on everyone. All of this isn't something we chose—our abilities, our mother's disappearance. Everyone has to follow blindly without knowing where we're going," My eyes search for hers, " but you can't give up on me now."
I take her small dainty hand in search of comfort, squeezing it in reassurance. "Just you and me, remember?" With her head still down the strand of hair I tucked behind her ear folds over her rounded face, reminding me of how young she still is.
Bringing to mind the hardship she's having to face being only thirteen and for so long she's been forced to search for one place after the other, with hopes one might offer safety.
I pull her into my arms, so we're locked together, my chin resting on the crown of her head. Our familiar embrace reminds me of our childhood, and I wonder if her memories echo mine.
Lilly steps back, releasing our hold. "I know... It's just—it's getting harder and harder to keep going. Sometimes I wonder if it would be so bad to let them find me... Then the running could end." Her hand smooths down the loose ends of hair sticking up as she releases a breath.
I drop my arms to my side and slide down the wall, pressing my thighs into the pebbled gravel. Lilly follows me down, and we both stare off at the faded brick wall across from us.
"I get it." I begin, empathizing with the loss of control. "I've thought the same thing..."
A small laugh escapes my lips as I remember back to many nights screaming into the night air the very same thought...
" —but this is bigger than us. We have to keep moving." I glance at Lilly and recognize the exhaustion resting on her face. Small circles ring her eyes. I want so much for her to be happy, to feel free but all I can offer is a strength I don't have.
"Look, it's hard to keep going, but..." I grasp at desperate thoughts. Not knowing the right ones to hold onto to ground her here with me.
"Think of mom."
Damn it.
At the mention of her, I see Lily's presence tighten. Her chin line becomes more defined as she clenches her teeth in reaction.
I didn't mean for it to slip... The guilt floods over me after realizing what I've said. It's a sore subject for both of us but to my sister; it's more of an animosity. She was so young when our mother was kidnapped. She wasn't able to feel that love the way I did. My chest constricts and I can feel the heat of tears waiting to spill over. She won't ever admit to herself her true feelings... She feels abandoned.
The tension in her chin releases as she pushes out a small quiver. I break my stare from her side profile and begin to anxiously pick the underneath of my nails.
"You know mom isn't coming back. She disappeared nine years ago, and you still can't let her go. She's gone, Cynthia." Her voice is shaking with emotion, as I see out of my peripheral her face turn to mine...
I swallow a small lump in my throat, and let her words seep into me; they wash away the peace and flood my resolve.
"Look, I understand you were too young to remember all that our mother did for us, but she was a strong-willed woman, and she would have killed for us if she needed to." I can sense Lilly is fighting back her tears as she fights running.
"I know you feel abandoned, shit I do too... but how can we blame her? She was kidnapped." My voice comes out hoarse from the nails scraping against my throat, it doesn't help that my neck is craned down. Avoiding any possible eye contact.
This dance is so familiar, the to and fro between us has been done so many times I can already sense what her next move will be. I instinctually push myself from the wall getting into a standing position.
Lilly follows, stumbling as she pushes herself up in reaction to me. "I get it." She sneers. "You're never going to let go of her." Dropping her arms to her side she turns as if to run but I catch her hand and pull her back. Keeping her from doing her usual escape routine.
She snaps back to her stance, and I try to lessen the intensity of my words. "Lilly," keeping my tone as soft as possible I hide her from the onslaught of my emotions.
Her arm is stiff in my grasp, her head still turned to the side as if to run. Then the edge to her stance softens as she turns her head back, connecting with my gaze. "I don't know how much longer I can take this." She says in a whisper.
Her puckered expression shifts to furrowed brows as she takes her hand from mine and pushes it to her wet cheeks. Folding in on herself she slouches back down to the ground in tears.
Kneeling beside her I rub the sobs from her back. "Running?" I ask.
"Feeling." She pushes through the small cries.
And finally, I understand.
Lilly has always been emotionally connected, that's her gift and her curse. She can feel others' emotions. She is an empath, but without guidance, without stability. That was the ability she was given at birth, like each one of us we are left to cope with it.
"We have two choices." I approach her with logic and switch my feelings off.
"You know what would happen if they caught us?" Biting my tongue, I hold back the sarcastic tone I have to my voice.
She shakes her head.
"Exactly," I huff, putting my other hand reassuringly on her folded knee. "We don't. Running is the only thing keeping us an inch away from them... We're all left blind, but we know that when one goes missing, they never return, and I couldn't live with myself if that's what happened to you. Running keeps us safe and together.'' Lilly wipes her tears and sniffles.
"Hey, if you stick this out with me," I search my mind for something that will bring some kind of spark back to her eye. "I promise I'll get you some new art stuff wherever we go." I attempt to ease the pain with a sentimental offer, though I know it's just a momentary lapse in comfort. She nods somberly.
Her dreary eyes meet mine; the red ring around each has deepened from the cries. I hold my pinkie out so she can take it with hers, as we've done our whole lives.
"Pinkie swears?" I ask. She completes the ritual.
"Pinkie swears." I pull her up by our linked fingers and she sniffs a sad little laugh.
"Come on, let's get back to camp. Tom's probably building up a sweat with us being gone. I told him we would be back by dusk, and the sun is almost gone."
**********
We round the corner to the warehouse and Tom is pacing a track into the gravel in front. His hands are held tight to his hips in an obvious upset, the broad stance of him grows as we get closer. He whips his head towards us, and I subconsciously tense myself for the onslaught.
"Where were you two? I just sent troops out to find you." His shout echoes off the empty city walls as he spans his arms out in question. We pick up our pace, jogging the rest of the distance to him. I notice his scowl grow on his bearded face.
"There are Watchmen in search of Activators. They're getting closer. We have to leave tonight. Pack your things and report to the landing at 2100." He pushes his words out so fast, neither of us have a second to reply before he turns and rushes inside.
Nearing the open doors, I can hear the chaos ensuing before stepping in to see it. My eyes are wide when glancing down at Lilly.
Our camp is in a frenzy; everyone's face holds the same scared expression. Each one of us is just as lost as the next, no matter how many times we've had to grow accustomed.
Setting my panic aside we make our way towards our bunks, our small cots are positioned about a foot from each other, lined side-by-side in a single file. We've always been very... limited on privacy, especially in this location.
Hovering over my cot, I begin to shove things aimlessly into the tote bag on my side. Finishing, I look to my left at my neighboring beds' men, and I give a friendly nod. We're lined up single filed in front of our cots waiting for a patrol to lead us out.
"You all ready?" I ask, taping Lilly's shoulder to get her attention.
She shoves the last of her things into a duffle and nods.
"Yeah," Her response is stiff.
"I mean, nope. 'Cuz I just have so many things to pack." She rolls her eyes at me. And all I give is a sly smile at the attempt of humor.
An eruption trembles through my core as the main front doors slam open, echoing through the compound. I turn to glance at the Liberty Patrols gathered behind the doors as they swing from the strength. Taking note of the twisted expression each of them share I wonder to myself what it is to cause it.
My ears perk up as I try to catch something among the chatter that can give me a hint. There's not much, and it may just be my imagination, but it sounds like the last syllable of my name slips one of their lips.
As I'm concentrating on making out the words of the patrols I snap back in place as I see Tom burst through the doors. His aged face is contorted, scanning the building until his eyes meet mine.
"Thia," He shouts, walking down my aisle of lined-up camps' men.
"There's something you gotta see—or someone..." The scratch of his throat is ominous and hushed. "Come with me."
I follow behind Tom's large-built frame, his shoulders shielding me from the stares I feel trailing us. As we get to the front doors, he opens them with a heave, and we step into the evening air. The concrete stoop is crowded with guards pushing in and out of the warehouse.
At the bottom of the uneven staircase, there are two Patrols guarding a thin, broad-shouldered man; who looks to be around my age. His brunette hair is knotted and pinned to his forehead, skin paperwhite—the sweat beaded on his brow speaks of a recent run.
Tom gives a slight eyebrow raise to the Patrols, and they instinctively move to the side of the unfamiliar man.
Their conversation comes to a halt as we approach and the man's eyes land on mine. His gaze passes through me like water... it leaves me with an uncomfortable itch at the surface. Recognition flashing across his face.
My brow furrows as I try to clear the muddled confusion of who this man is, as my heartbeat quickens, I hear the rhythm in my ears.
He rushes towards me—giving me no time to react before throwing his arms around me.
"Umm..." I push his dampened shoulder away. Stumbling back, he looks at me in shock—as if I'm not a complete stranger.
"You don't remember me, do you?" Bright blue eyes stare back at me, and they refract in the little sun that is left. His expression reads hurt, though I can't guess why.
"No..?" As the question slips my lips I begin to wander as his familiar essence grows.
"I don't think so, who are you?" My words crack as his eyes search mine. Silence spreads through the air like a noxious gas, filling my heart with anticipation.
A familiar faced Liberty patrol steps between us.
"He says he knows you. We found him running from a couple of the Watchmen—he said he escaped. We found this on him." He holds his hand out and sets a piece of notebook paper in my palm. It's moist and folded as if someone has been holding it for days.
I'm stopped by the statement "he Escaped" as its panicked overtone trembles through my core. Connecting eyes with the tall lanky Patrol in front of me, I see them shake in response to his statement obviously disheartened by it.
I unfold the paper; some of the words are hard to read as the creased edges cut into them. Deja Vu unfolds along with it. I don't recognize why until I start to read, and as I do tears spring to the corners of my eyes. I read the first line and my heart shuts the world out around me.
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Hiya! First I would like to just say THANK YOU! For supporting and reading my first ever book!!
How did this first chapter feel?
Does it make you want to continue; does it spark a fire under you to know more? Or does it need something else? Any comments or critiques are Welcomed, and I hope you stick around for the nitty gritty ;)