Hailey's POV:
Living with Justin.
Hmmm....it's been laughter and tears.
In equal measure.
When it's just the two of us, we flow so easily.
We adjust to each other's highs and lows.
That doesn't mean it's perfect.
But nothing is.
It's the outside world.
People don't realize that their words written nonchalantly on a screen can bring a grown man to tears.
I know this,
Because I've watched
Those words break him.
You have to understand that as a man, Justin wants to protect what he loves.
But fighting an enemy that has no face,
It's a losing battle.
So yeah....
Living with Justin has been both laughter and tears.
In equal measure.
It's been almost 2 months since we've found out that we were going to have a baby.
3 months pregnant.
We just had our first ultrasound.
I think that's the moment it becomes real.
Hearing your babies heartbeat.
Watching Justin hear it for the first time.
It's something I'll never forget.
I watched as our doctor placed the gel on my growing belly and moved the ultrasound wand back and forth.
She didn't even have time to confirm the heartbeat.
Justin had picked it up first.
"Stop. No...go back...right there!"
I hadn't even heard anything yet.
I don't know if it's because music is who he is...maybe he picked up the frequency first.
But he heard it.
"Do you hear that, Hailey?"
And just like that....I heard the fast soft swishing sound of our baby's heart.
"That's our babies heart beating!"
He squeezed my hand and just closed his eyes.
We both just let the sound overtake us.
"It's the most beautiful melody I've ever heard."
And it was.
Then we looked over and their on the screen was this little tiny being.
"That's your baby", the doctor said.
Justin jumped up, and moved closer to the monitor.
"You mean to tell me, that ...that's our baby! Right there!"
He pointed for added measure.
The doctor nodded and we both giggled at how blown away he was.
The baby moved and he was mesmerized.
While the doctor took measurements on the screen and made some notes, I laid there and watched Justin sing to my belly.
"Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star How I Wonder What You Are."
He would sing and the baby would move.
"Babe! Did you see that! She's moving! She likes my singing!"
I couldn't believe it, but it was true.
Everytime he began to sing, the baby moved.
"She knows your her Daddy, that's why."
He turned and looked at me with a huge silly smile on his face.
"You just said She!"
"I did not!"
"You did! You said, She knows I'm her Daddy! Didn't she doc?"
Dr.Bremudez nodded.
"Sorry Hailey, but I heard it too!"
I bit my lip and blew out some air.
"Fine, but it's only because I was caught up in the moment!
We don't know yet."
Justin looked like the Cheshire Cat.
"Oh I know. I know Twinkles. And I'm not going to let you forget this moment!
The victory is too sweet!"
"Yeah, yeah...enjoy it now.
I'll have the last laugh Bieber!"
We agreed to not finding out whether Baby Bieber was a girl or boy just yet.
Do you think that stopped Justin from putting his face up to the monitor like a private investigator.
Like he was searching for clues.
"I know what your doing Ogre!
Step away from the monitor.
We agreed to wait to find out!"
He put his hands up, like he was innocent and backed away.
"Hails...alls I'm saying is that I don't see a little jerry on the screen so..."
He did not just say that!
"Justin Drew Bieber, you watch your mouth!
And it's still a little early to know for sure anyway."
Bringing up Jerry in front of the doctor.
Embarrassed.
"It's true Justin. It is early still.
There's time later for that debate.
But right now, you and Hailey have a healthy baby.
And your due date should fall around March 21st."
Justin let out a "Woooooo", and almost made our poor doctor jump.
"Doc, she's coming on the 20th.
She's a Pisces.
See babe, I was right!
Wooooo!"
We let him have his moment.
He was gonna take it anyway.
We left with a recording of the heartbeat and a video to share with our family.
Justin was obviously banned from watching the video just yet.
Not until we knew.
That was a day of laughter.
After that day, we broke the news to our families.
They took it surprisingly well.
My Dad did ask when the wedding was though.
Justin assured him it was going to be
"soon, very soon".
Then came Justin's call to Mama Pattie.
He was actually braver talking to my Dad.
I made him put it on speaker.
I knew she'd be happy.
Justin obviously did not.
He was almost hyperventilating as the phone began ringing.
Pattie: Hey Justin!
Justin: Mom. Mom. Hey it's me.
Pattie: yeah...I know. I just said Hey Justin.
Your so weird.
(He actually started nervous giggling at this point. )
Justin: Oh right. Yeah. Well sooooo how are youuuuu?
Pattie: Ummm I'm great, but seriously why are you acting so weird for?
Justin: Mom. I'm not acting weird. I'm just calling because I love you.
Pattie: Ugh hugh! And what else?
Justin: well so Hails and I are planning the wedding...and well it may have to happen sooner than later.
Logistics and all.
Pattie: oh logistics, hmmmm....like Hailey having your baby type logistics?
Justin: hey! How'd you know?
Here I was freaking out about telling you!
(I slapped my hands over my eyes at this point. )
Pattie: I didn't know. You just told me!
Justin: oops! Well surprise! Your gonna be a Grandma!
(Pattie was silent for a moment, probably taking it in.)
Justin: Mom. Mom. Moooommm.
Did you hear me? I'm gonna be a Dad!
Pattie: Baby I heard you.
My baby is gonna be a Dad?
(She was crying now)
Is Hailey there?
Me: I'm here Pattie. Are you ok?
Pattie: yes baby girl, but are you ok?
Me: I'm ok.
Justin: Guys! We're all ok, OK?
Mom...We heard her heartbeat!
Mom...it's the most beautiful thing you'll ever hear.
I'll play it for you.
Pattie: It's a She?
Me: we don't know that!
Justin just believes it!
Justin: Mom trust me, stock up on the pink and purples.
Me: Pattie please don't!
(She was laughing hysterically at us.)
Justin played her our babies heartbeat over the phone.
We all cried.
That was also a good day.
But they weren't all good days.
The outside world wouldn't allow it.
Justin's POV:
My life was finally making sense.
I was getting married.
I was going to be a Dad.
My heart was so full.
I loved watching Hailey's stomach start to grow.
I loved how she would fuss when I'd try and measure her stomach.
I could definitely see a bump now.
I loved arguing with her about wedding details.
The way she would scrunch her nose and roll her eyes when I left my dirty socks on the bedroom floor.
I loved that.
Or how she would try to teach me how to do laundry.
"Justin! Whites,Lights, and Colors!
Babe, stop mixing your purple socks in with my white shirts.
It's three words baby.
Whites, Lights, and Colors!"
I could never remember it!
I loved how she taped a sign to the washing machine lid.
"Whites! Lights! Colors!"
I loved how she insisted we do our own laundry.
She was making me a better man day by day.
I loved taking care of her when she was sick.
I loved watching her sleep.
And so I started posting alot about her, about us to my Instagram account.
I was so freaking happy that I just wanted to tell the world.
What I got back was cruelty.
The things people would write.
"Your delusional @ justinbieber."
"You must have hit your head pretty hard to be marrying that duck face."
"She's after your money. Boy your dumb."
"Duckwin must have something on him.
We all know he's obsessed with Selena."
"Going from Selena to Hailey is the equivalent of Gucci to Goodwill."
"Let's pray they don't have kid's together.
Half dumb. Half duck."
I tried to hide how much it affected me from Hailey.
She didn't need to deal with this right now.
But at night, after she fell asleep...I became a keyboard warrior.
Trying to fight off these vicious attacks on my family.
It wasn't just random people either.
News outlets had headlines that read:
Justin Bieber making a big mistake!
Poor Hailey! We all know he'll be back with Selena in the end.
Justin Bieber suffering from a mental breakdown.
Family is worried for his life.
I honestly felt ripped apart.
I would cry as silently as possible at night.
I felt like I was failing my girls.
I couldn't protect them.
My anxiety attacks got worse every time Hailey left the house without me.
The paparazzi would shout terrible things at her.
Things like:
Is Justin suicidal?
Are you going to marry him, even though he's in love with Selena?
Are you knocked up, is that why he's marrying you?
She always handled their poison with grace.
She would smile and keep moving.
But I couldn't let it go.
I started shouting at them in public.
Sometimes even breaking down in tears.
One night it got pretty bad.
Hailey was sick and had ran to the toilet again for the 5th time.
I went to get her some water.
When I came back, I happened to glance down at her phone.
She had just posted a photo of herself to her Instagram account.
It was from a photo shoot.
It was a contractual thing.
The post.
She looked absolutely gorgeous.
I smiled at how pretty my girl looked.
Then my face froze.
And the anger and rage began.
People were commenting with
🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍
&
🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆
all over her page.
Telling her to kill herself.
That she was trash.
That she wasn't worth my love.
My beautiful girl was suffering in the next room.
Sick day after day.
Growing our child.
She always had a smile through it all.
And this is how she gets treated?
I'd be dead if it wasn't for her!
I lost it.
"Hailey! I'm deleting our social media accounts!
I fucking hate them! All of them!
If I could kill them...I fucking would!"
I started sobbing.
Pounding my fists against our bedroom wall.
"Justin, back away from the phone.
Don't let it affect you.
Please baby, I'm ok."
I couldn't even stop myself.
I smashed my phone to pieces.
I threw my laptop across the room.
Sobbing and cursing uncontrollably.
She flushed the toilet and came walking out to find me like this.
A broken man.
A man who couldn't sleep at night.
Who panicked everytime she left.
Who worried about her safety.
Our babies safety.
So much that I was taking xanax again.
Sneaking a drink here and there.
I tried to hide it.
To be strong.
Because that's what a man does.
He protects his family.
I failed her.
She came out and saw this.
"I've fucking failed you!
I'm not going to be a good Dad!
I can't!
Why do they hate me?
I fucking love you sooo much!
Why do they want to take you away from me?"
I cried throughout that whole night.
She just held me and cried too.
After that night, I started getting counseling.
Hailey was always there.
Always supporting me.
So yeah, like Hailey said...living with me was both laughter and tears.
In equal measure.
But I wasn't going to let them ruin our joy.
I was going to marry my girl.
After dealing with the social media attacks and the rabid paparazzi...I realized Twinkles was right.
A big wedding wasn't what was right for right now.
"Hailey, I just wanted to give you a dream wedding! I'm sorry baby."
"Justin Drew Bieber, my dream wedding is just you and me, saying our vows."
"But I've worked my whole life, been successful.
I have the ability to give you the fairy tale wedding that every girl dreams about."
"This girl's dreams are simple.
Being your life partner and having your children.
The rest isn't important."
"Then when should we do it?
Your right, I just want to marry you right now."
"Ogre, I have an idea..."
And that's how quickly it happened.
We stayed up all night, planning our small little backyard wedding.
We put everything together in less than 2 weeks.
The venue...our backyard.
The music...our own hand selected play list.
The food: Hailey's parents were taking care of.
The decor: My Mom and Kendall had it covered.
Hailey found a dress.
I found a suit.
The guest list was small.
Only close friends and family.
Her parents, sister and husband.
Her Grandparents.
My parents and siblings.
My Grandparents.
Scooter and Yael.
Allison
Kendall
Ryan
Joe and Kelia
Florido and Maeve
And our Pastor, Carl Lentz and his family.
Less than 30 people.
And a date,
September 13th.
Our friends and family jumped in and helped make it happen.
I was finally going to marry my bestfriend.
September 13th,2018
Hailey's POV:
Butterflies.
It felt like hundreds of tiny little butterflies were fluttering around in my chest.
My sister just finished putting the small veil and flowers through my loosely pinned up hair.
My Mama took my hand and helped me into my soft flowing dress.
I felt absolutely beautiful as I looked down and my small baby bump.
I was ready to see him.
I was ready to be his wife.
Kendall handed me my folded up vows.
As my Mama took my picture,
I thought about those vows.
The words that would make me his wife.
Justin's POV:
I've always been the life of the party type of guy.
But today I felt nothing but peaceful.
This was the day I never thought would come.
Yet here it was.
I was marrying my Twinkles.
I looked at myself in the mirror.
I was going to be a husband today.
The gravity of that was overwhelming.
In the best of ways.
My Mama pinned a flower to my blue suit coat.
She then ran a comb through my hair.
"Mom, I'm not a little boy anymore.
I can do that."
"Baby, your mine for just a little bit longer.
Let me have this."
I watched as the woman who raised me from a little boy ran her hands softly through my hair.
She was my first love.
The one who kissed my scrapes and bruises.
The one who sang me to sleep.
Read to me every night.
If I could be half of what she was for me, my daughter would be blessed.
We both cried as my Dad straightened my tie and ran his hands over my shoulders.
They were letting go of their boy.
"Mom, Dad...Thank you. For loving me.
For making me the man I am today.
Thank you."
I took my place at the altar in our yard.
My Pastor Carl met me there.
He handed me the microphone.
Dan walked out holding his guitar.
Hailey had no idea, but I was going to serenade her as she walked down the aisle.
I had preformed on hundreds of different stages, but this was the most important stage.
I looked out at the faces of our friends and family.
I was ready.
Hailey's POV:
My Dad took my arm and kissed my nose.
"You ready baby girl?"
I took a deep breath.
"Ready Daddy.
I love you!"
He gave me that wide famous Baldwin smile.
"I love you more Hails."
As we began to walk into the yard, I heard the guitar playing.
Then I heard Justin's voice.
As we rounded the corner, I finally saw him.
He began singing a song I knew so well.
My tears just came.
As I listened to him sing.
My eyes only on his.
"There's gonna be one less lonely girl (I'm coming for you)
One less lonely girl (I'm coming for you)
One less lonely girl (I'm coming for you)
One less lonely girl
There's gonna be one less lonely girl (I'm coming for you)
I'm gonna put you first (I'm coming for you)
I'll show you what you're worth (that's what I'm gonna do)
If you let me inside of your world
There's gonna be on less lonely girl
I can fix up your broken heart (heart)
I can give you a brand new start (start)
I can make you believe (yeah)
I just wanna set one girl free to fall,
Free to fall (she's free to fall)
Fall in love
With me
Her hearts locked and nowhere to get the key
I'll take her and leave the world with one less lonely girl
There's gonna be one less lonely girl (one less lonely girl)"
Justin was singing "One Less Lonely Girl" to me.
It felt surreal.
As I got closer I could see he was crying too.
I think everyone was crying.
He reached for my hand.
I took his in mine.
Our Pastor led us with beautiful words.
And then it was time for our vows.
I stood there and watched as Justin began speaking to me.
"Hailey Rhode Baldwin,
Your eyes are taking away my words."
We laughed as he reached into his pocket and took out his folded up paper.
"Let's try this again.
Hailey Rhode Baldwin,
You are the love of my life.
God put you in my heart at the perfect time.
When I thought I was lost for good, there you were.
You've always been my compass.
Guiding me through this thing we call life.
My soul knew you, the moment we met.
I'd like to think we've already spent a thousand lifetimes together.
And yet this one is the most beautiful of them all.
I vow to love you unconditionally.
To set you apart from all others.
I vow to honor you.
To laugh with you.
To cry with you.
I vow to love and raise our children, showing them each and every day how precious their Mama is.
Grow old with me.
Take my hand and let me share my life with you."
He slipped the delicate diamond band on my finger.
I was forgetting how to breathe.
"Breathe, baby."
I smiled as his finger wiped the tears from my eyes.
My turn had come.
My vows to him.
I took my folded up paper out.
Slowly with shaking hands I unfolded it.
"Justin Drew Bieber,
The words you just spoke to me, it's like I've heard them before.
My heart knew them as you spoke them into existence."
I looked into his eyes and felt his peace wash over me.
"When I was a little girl, I dreamed of you.
My husband to be.
I knew you were kind.
That your heart was bigger than even you could contain.
I knew you were funny and charming.
I dreamed of this handsome boy.
The boy with the beautiful voice.
You would sing to me in my dreams.
As I grew up, I lost those memories.
Until the day, I heard your voice again.
My soul recognized you, by just your voice.
And I know it sounds crazy.
That I knew you before I met you.
But what's true is true.
You are my other half.
I vow to stand by your side.
Through the laughter and the tears.
Through it all, I will be your one true constant Twinkling star.
Our children will tell stories about our love.
And in that we will never be apart.
From this day forward I am yours.
Forever."
I slipped the band onto his finger.
Our eyes connected.
He whispered "I love you Twinkles".
"I love you more, Ogre."
We said I Do.
And then he kissed me.
Like a husband kisses his wife.
It was familiar, but new.
And our family and friends cheered and cried right along with us.
Our reception was a night to remember.
Amazing food.
Laughter.
Singing.
Dancing.
It was absolutely perfect.
As Justin led me out onto the small dance floor and wrapped his arms around me, I felt at home.
Our first dance as a married couple began to our song.
As "The Book of Love" by Peter Gabriel filled the air.
All I could do was breathe him in.
Take in as much of this moment as possible.
Justin and Hailey Bieber were lost in each other and the words to their song,
"The Book Of Love".
A/N: For the romantic in all of us.
This is how it should always be.
My most favorite chapter to have written so far.
I actually got teary eyed through this.
Please let me know what you think!
Songs for the Groom and His Bride:
One Less Lonely Girl by Justin Bieber
The Book of Love by Peter Gabriel
The One by Kodaline.