2014
"Hello?" I say answering my phone.
I was hanging out with Maya and Remi and our new group of college friends at a music lounge bar one rainy Friday night. One of our new friends was going to be performing there so we wanted to be supportive. Not gonna lie, some of us were all a little illegally tipsy and in a good mood and just enjoying each other's company.
Remi had come from his school a few hours away to visit for a couple weeks and it was always great for me to get time with him. He was able to extend his visa to include a little over a full year of college in engineering if he attended the university he's at now that has close ties to a university in Ireland, so I didn't have a whole lot of time left with him before he had to go back home to finish school there. So, receiving a phone call in the middle of my fun and "Remi time" wasn't what I wanted.
"We're done. I'm so fuckin' pissed at him Nova!"
What? Who was this?
I try to force my eyes to focus and take a closer look at my phone to see that it was Ari calling me. I hadn't spoken to him since the beginning of last semester. Or at least not on the phone. We exchanged texts every now and then to check on each other, or tag each other in stuff on social media, but other than that, we hadn't really spoken to each other in a good while.
He was always so busy with school, basketball, football and living his own life. He was starting to become more involved with other things over in California and making new friends. The same went for me.
I was also busy with school and life. I had also made new friends and became more involved in my university campus life and doing things around the city were I reside, but I made it a point to always try and check in with him. I guess we just weren't doing enough to stay close to each other.
"Ari?"
"Nova," he says sniffing a little, "We've been dragging out this long-distance thing for as long as we can, but it's just dying out. We can't hold onto each other anymore. He said he met someone else in his lgbtq+ community in New York. Someone who wasn't gonna "hide their relationship" and who was within hugging distance. I don't know how true or not that is though.
We had a big argument and he was upset that I waited until we were away from each other to be out. He claimed that I just wanted an excuse to see new people and was ashamed of him in high school. That I used the long-distance thing as an excuse and an "out" of the relationship. Nova that's not true."
I had noticed Ari's recent indulgence in various types of drugs. Alcohol included. Now, I'm not knocking someone who wants to *drink a little bit, smoke a little bit.... "get fucked up"*, but he had been doing it in excess and his Instagram stories reflected it.
He really needed to be careful because doing stuff like that in excess can really mess up your body. He was also putting his scholarships, placement on teams, and schooling in jeopardy.
I assumed that this was all starting to happen because he was becoming emotional about the state in which his relationship with Charlie had become.
"I know it's not true Ari. You guys are just having a spat. I'm sure you guys will be fine in no time. You haven't been drinking, right?"
....
"Ari? Where are you?"
"Ok, ok, I have been drinking because imma sappy ass dude."
I laugh at his drunkenness. It was nice to hear his voice again and it sends a familiar tingle down my spine to hear the voice that I've missed so much. Even if he is a drunken mess right now.
"Ari, you're just a little sensitive. You have every right to be though. Charlie is very important to you in more ways than one. You're going through a tough time. You'll get through this though. Take the time you need, and then find the courage to move on when you're ready. Or, to try and patch things up.
Put the bottle down and go to bed. Have your roommate check in on you every once in a while, if they can. Before going to bed, put a trashcan by you and some pain killers and a cup of water on your nightstand for the morning, ok? Then, in the morning when you're awake, I want you to call me so I know you're ok."
Is it weird that I can just jump back into being his friend like we never parted from each other even though we haven't spoken in so long? We are both at fault, but neither of us is too worried about that right now. He's in need of an old familiar voice and I'll be that voice for him. He's been that voice for me more times than one in the past and I wanted to repay that. It's what friends do when they are in need.
"Nova, hope is a bitch."
"I thought that was karma?"
"Nah, it's hope, karma's older sister."
*A month later*
"Hello?"
"Nova, fuck him!"
"Hello to you too Ari."
Here we go again.
That's become the pattern with us now. Since that night he called last month we agreed that we needed to call each other more. But of course our lives interfered with that, so we called each other when we could, which resulted in sporadic calls or texts.
Hey, we're trying to do better.
"Sorry, hey Nova, how is your summer going? You all ready for school to start again?"
"Ha, no way. I enjoy my summer breaks. I'm also enjoying my new job. I've been doing recruitment for the school's study abroad office, so I get to travel to different schools in the U.S., eat new food, and meet new people. It's awesome! My manager has been talking about keeping me on when the semester starts back up to make it a permanent job."
"Hey, that's great! Sounds like a lot of fun and a smart way to travel on the school's dime. I know how much you like to travel and have been wanting to see what the world looks like outside of the U.S. when that kind of travel becomes available to you. Where have you been so far?"
"You're right, I love to travel. I've only been to Florida and Arizona so far. Spent about a week in both places. I put enough time into this school and money so the least they could do is give me free travel. Hopefully, by next summer I can go with them on the out of country trips! What's been going on with you?"
"Arizona and Florida? That's pretty cool! Ironically, I've never been to my namesake, but I have been to Florida. It's some weird and strange people there, but I went to Pensacola with my family once and it was pretty cool. I know you ate plenty of food. I'm going home for a few weeks before school starts again. I haven't seen my family in a hot minute. It'll be nice to see them."
"That's good. I should really take a trip back home too. I haven't seen my family since Easter. Are you still not out to your family?"
"It's funny, my friends here know I'm gay, but my friends and family back home don't know."
"Well, it's different back home. Your parents are very conservative. But I don't think your friends or siblings will care too much. They may be a little upset that you never told them in the first place though. They may feel like you don't trust them enough. Especially your siblings."
"You're right about my parents, which is why I'm kind of scared to tell them. I love my parents and don't want them to see me any different just because I'm not going to be bringing home a girl one day for them to meet. I mean I'm not out here hoeing around and being promiscuous. I'm still the same son, just a different sexual orientation.
And regarding my friends and siblings, you're right. I should've trusted them more in the beginning, but I was scared with them too. My siblings and I have always been close, and I should've told them. But I guess we'll see once I get there."
"Who were you talking about when you first called me anyway?"
"Huh? Oh! Bitch-ass Charlie. He called me last night, drunk, and we got into an argument. I really miss my best friend Nova. Do you think me dating him was a bad idea?"
"I can't answer that for you. Do you think it was a bad idea?"
Ari sits for a second, "No."
"Well, there you go."
"Nova, you always know what to say. You're such a good listener and friend. I'm glad I came and invaded your space in the library that day in the tenth grade."
We both laugh and sit in silence for a few moments just listening to each other breathe.
I'm not gonna lie, it's been a little minute since the last time I spoke to Ari on the phone. I've noticed that the distance between our phone calls has gotten a little bigger each passing week. I guess I should've been prepared for that though. Most friendships in high school, unfortunately, don't last through college because of the distance and you meet new people to "replace" the old.
I miss talking and hanging out with Ari. It's funny though considering I used to not be that fond of him. Like he said, that one conversation in the library that day completely changed the dynamics of our relationship.
He went from being just another jock in my school who everyone loved, to being one of my best friends and confidant who I loved. I think I'm going to go back home to visit my family and friends and see him again. It's been long enough. I really hope that when we see each other again it will be like we never left.