A/N:
Xx
Freddie:
"I'll let you sleep...," I mumble as I roll out of bed, not wanting to bother her with my need for affection. I bend over her to place a kiss upon her brow, but she pulls away. She's just too tired.
There's a knock at the door once I've gotten down the steps and I peak out of the side window to see my mother and father standing on the door step.
"Welcome home, my dear boy!," mum engulfs me in her arms and finally, my body relaxes at the familiar safe haven. I just needed to be held. Just for a moment.
Dad gives me a hug too as they both walk inside. "I've brought something to contribute to dinner- your favorite dish!," A mixture of the homemade food sends an aroma of spices prickling my nose. She holds up a large plastic container and I try my best to smile at her as I lead the way to the kitchen.
I hear more voices enter into the house, as Roger walks into the kitchen proceeded by Rose and Emmy. I walk over to Rose and kiss her cheek before scooping my goddaughter from her arms.
"Emilia, darling! How you've grown!," I hold her close to me and press my head against hers while tickling her sides. Her giggles could tear me to pieces! Where on earth are my little beans!?
"Papi! You're home!," As if the winds of fate heard my thoughts, my little baby boy bounces into the room, quickly followed by the princess of my heart.
"Emmy! That's my Papi!," Charlie taps her foot impatiently waiting for me to place her cousin down from my arms.
Roger acts quickly and swoops the twins into his arms, spinning them around in circles. "Didja miss me you little precious twinies!?," They're laughter brings the biggest smile to my face. Good old uncle Rog.
I shake my head and kiss Emmys cheek before placing her down on her feet. "Come here my darlings! Oof!," I'm shocked at the tackle that Richie lays into me as he smashes into my chest. Charlie nestles herself into my other arm.
Closing my eyes I savor the moment of finally having my babies in my arms again. I don't care if two weeks is nothing to some people, to a parents it's a lifetime apart!
"Hi, Freddie! Welcome back!," Ceci chimes as she walks into the kitchen, toting a large tray of fresh fruit slices. "I've picked this up, I hope it's alright," I move to sit at the kitchen table, keeping my babies on each knee.
"Of course it is, dear! Thank you," She sets the tray down on the counter and mum works to quickly unravel the packaging to place the fruit on a large silver tray.
Soon it seems all of my family is present- all except Cherie, who still has not made an appearance. It's almost time for dinner, Mum has been in the kitchen with the rest of the girls heading up the dinner that Rose and Cherie prepares earlier today. All of our little children are running about the place, causing a ruckus, but always enjoying each other.
I sit in the dinning room with the guys and my father as we talk about nonsense things like football games and all of our upcoming schedules. I'm holding my glass of champagne in my hand listening to everyone's chatting and laughter. I wonder when Cherie will show face while swirling the golden liquid around in its flute not yearning a single taste.
Rose whispers my name in a hurried tone and I see her head poking out of the doorway as she sways her arm for me to accompany her. I excuse myself from the table, but mostly I'm ignored.
"I was just wondering, do you want to tell Cherie to come down now? Or should I go up and-,"
"No, dear that's quite alright. I'll go up...," she gives a stiff nod, opening her mouth to say something just before I look away from her to head upstairs.
"Freddie-wait..," her uneasy voice sends a coldness through me. It's like my body can sense the trouble to her tone.
I turn to see her looking up toward the stairs as if checking to see that no one is around. "I have to tell you, Cherie's been acting rather odd. I'm not sure if she's just been hiding her emotions, but the truth is it all started last night. I guess last night with Mary. She has to have said something or threatened her in some way, Freddie and I'm scared for her. She won't tell me anything an-,"
"Woah woah, Rose. Calm down. What- how..what do you mean her and Mary last night?,"
"She hasn't told you?," Her look of bewilderment terrifies me. What the fuck does Mary What with my wife.
"No..we haven't really had a chance to t-,"
"Whispering about me, I see...," The both of us hadn't even noticed the freaks of the staircase as Cherie began to walk down them. I quickly shut my mouth and look to find her smirking at us. Her sad, smiling dark eyes- it's starting to make sense now...
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Ceci:
I'm helping Anita prep the salad bowls for the first portion of tonight's meal. Even though I do feel a bit out of place, everyone has been so sweet and shared nothing but kind words. They've even complimented me numerous times on how I take such good care of the Mercury children. But of course I do! I love the little sweethearts to death!
I feel a tug on my apron and look down to see the precious prince staring up at me. His big brown eyes glazed with the same look he's been giving me all day long.
"Where's mummy, Ceci?," He asks as soon as I bend down to him.
I take him by the hand and lead him away from the loud chatter of the rest of the women as everyone is rushing about the kitchen trying to hurry along with preparing dinner.
"I told you just a few minutes ago, Rich. She's upstairs napping. She'll be down in a second,"
All day he was being an u usual crabby pants. He is not usually your typical small child, my little Richie is wise beyond his years and likes to behave as so. But for some strange reason, today everywhere we went he kept stopping playing to come and ask me when his mummy was coming back.
Every time I said she was waiting for us at home, he'd huff and walk away shaking his head. If I had to say so myself, with all my years of studying child psychology, I'd say a little someone is starting to feel the bit of jealousy that a new baby brings. So far, he had always spoken lovingly about the arrival of his new little sibling, not that he's said anything to the contrary recently or at all- but something tells me this is the reason for his foul mood.
"Look, Richie. There's Mummy!," I smile at him and his eyes light up as they reach mine and follow my finger as I point to Cherie who has just walked into the crowded kitchen.
"Where? Where's Mummy?," he hops about, even standing on top of the kitchen chair where we are sitting to peer around the fast paced chaos that the dinner party makes.
"Right there, silly!," I point exactly at Cherie who is now talking with Mrs. Bulsara and Kash bear the oven. "Go on..," I urge him as he climbs down from the chair.
Once again, I'm thinking the sight of his mother or perhaps her ever growing belly, sets him off in a new mood swing. After his persistent asking about his mum the entire day, it surprises me when he turns to me rolling his eyes. I look down at him, confused as to why he now walks away back to his bedroom instead of greeting his mother. But, I mean, he's had a long day today, poor little guy probably needs a nap.
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Freddie:
"Thank you, Mama and thanks for making that delicious feast," Mum squeezes my face, her fingers in the dents below my cheekbones as she quickly pecks my lips.
I smile like a little boy, she always knows how to make me feel better. Even though, I haven't even mentioned anything about the way I am feeling.
Everyone else has gone now and I decide to leave the rest of the mess to clean in the morning. Cherie had completely vanished after dinner, locking herself in our bedroom once again. I have to say I'm not pleased with her actions, she's come off quite rude to our guests today. Even if she is feeling badly, this attitude is not her usual way at all.
I sneak a look into the twins room to find them fast asleep. Thank god for little sisters- mine had the nice thought to lay her niece and nephew to bed a couple of hours ago. She said she had wanted to let me have a night of rest- a night to relax with Cherie once everyone's left.
So, I slowly open the door to my room, all my nervous feelings from earlier creeping back into my gut. I have to tell her sometime...
"Cherie? Are you awake, love?," Not wanting to scare her like I did when I arrived today I make sure to make my presence known before reaching out to cuddle against her.
"Don't touch me, Freddie...," She mumbles in a groggy tone, as if she has just awoken from her sleep.
"...why?," I don't mean for the question to come out of my mouth as quivering as it does, but we always cuddle to bed. What's the matter with her.
"I'm just very sore and tired- I..I don't want to be touched, you understand don't you?," Her monotone reply slices at my already tender emotional mask, making me bite down into my lip to keep from asking anymore stupid, desperate questions.
But, of course, my mouth always betrays me as I let out a shaking breath and reach for her again, but this time I quickly pull her against my chest and put my chin on top of her shoulder. I remember she once told me the vibration of my deep, tired voice against her skin is soothing to her. Maybe it'll make her feel better.
"I just want to hold you..," My hand slides down the covers to find my favorite spot on her round belly, " and say hello to our little bijou..I miss-"
Before I can even reach her stomach, she shoves me away by shaking my head off of her shoulder and spinning around on the spot so quickly, my first thought is that I hope she doesn't strain herself.
"Jesus! Freddie- I said no! I don't wanna be touched! ,"
I pull my top lip over my teeth, as is my nervous habit, as I watch her reaction. And dry my lips, no word would make as my thoughts race around my brain. I shouldn't get her angry...not with what I have to tell her..
"They've told you haven't they?," I ask while now looking down at the silky sheets. I use my pointer finger to scrawl across the sheets as if writing my own letter of apology.
"Told me what? Who are you taking about?," She seems calmed now- intrigued even. Shit, I've already fucked this up, haven't I?
"Well...a-about last night...," As it began to pour out of my mouth, I couldn't bare to look at her. "There's something you should know...something that happened last night..,"
Her eyes stare up at me as I find the courage to meet her blazing gaze. Of course I've got her attention with the weary way my words whirl together...
"Well I, um, first of all...remember the fans I told you I had to greet....,"
I don't how to start this...
"Ahhhuh....," she says, ushering me to move along.
I don't know why I'm making this a big fuss. She is my heart, I should trust that she'd hear me out. That she'd console my sadness and not blame me for things out of my control.
I fidget with the edge of the pillow case as I prepare to tell her the whole truth. It's not my fault.
"Well they," I clear the tightness from my throat with a quick cough. "Um, I mean two of them, th-they well one of them was all over me even though I kept tryna g to push him away from me and then, well I just- I'm sorry, Cherie! I don't know what else happened but one thing lead to another and they...they both drugged me-
My word spew out of my mouth like pellets, each sentence stinging my heart as her face contorts against my explanation. I'm slacking in what I mean to say- I know it. It's not coming out right. She abruptly stands to her feet cutting me off.
"Are u fucking kidding me?!," She stands to the side of the bed, risjngto her feet as her voice rises in pitch.
"Drugged you?!," She scoffs And I'd be lying if I said I'm not taken aback at her reaction. This ain't what I pictured.
"That's your genius excuse for cheating on me!?," Her hands flail around in the growing tension in the air as I sit up slowly on the bed, not wanting to make matters worse.
"You can't even say the words, can you!?,"
My mouth gets dry and I try to wet my lips to stop her assumptions, but she starts smashing things across the room and I'm frozen at her uncharacteristic outburst.
Everything from the top of our dresser, she throws down to the ground:
Our ring holder dish,
The glass figurine of the waving Japanese cat she bought me for my birthday,
Our silver wedding frame picture...
"Cherie listen! I was almost raped do u not care about that?," I don't deserve this.
"Oh! Stop lying to me, Freddie! Raped? You?," Her sarcastic tone is menacing as she laughs in my face. Her untrusting words instantly scare me.
"You're always surrounded by people or the rest of the band or security! Fuck! Quit lying to me!,"
She starts to pull at her finger. Her wedding rings clinks against the floorboards as she throws it across the room at my feet. She promised no matter the fight, she'd never taken them off...
"What are u- Dont! You- you're not even letting me finish! The guys were all there, they saved me! You can ask all of them-,"
"Ask them? They're your friends not mine! Of course they'll lie for you! Men always stick together!," Inly my friends?! Where the hell is this all coming from!?
"Darling, please, don't do this! Cherie, I need you right now! I feel like shit-,"
"And you should! You should feel like shit! That's what you are!!,"
Now, I don't know what her problem could be. Is this a second surge of crazy hormone problems? I just got home, yet she's acting like we've been in a fight. She's distant and cold- she's mean.
I bend to reach for her wedding rings- one by my foot, the other just under the bed. That's when I feel something hard hit the side of my head. She's started throwing things at me.
The painted portrait of the twins when they were born, one of my plagues of a gold record award, the table lamp. Anything and everything within her grasp.
I've never seen her act this way when she's angry, maybe I should have waited for tomorrow to bring this up and not after a long day like today-
"I knew I should've listened to her! She told me you were a fucking pig and you stood aside and let me throw my own sister out! Of course, you had to have probably lead her on! You wanted her didn't you!? You disgusting asshole!!,"
What the fuck!!!? How the hell did she just loop these two horrible instances together- she....she knows me better than this!
"No! No, you've got it all wrong!," I croak, trying to speak up now. There's no way she's being serious!
"Angel, please just listen-,"
Needing unheard.
"You see! You can't even keep your names straight!," She throws her head back, laughing maniacally.
"Angel?? Who is that, hmm? Your little whore from the road?! Can't remember your own wife's name, Freddie??,"
Pleading unheard.
She storms out of the room, as I sit with my jaw hung, trying to collect my confusion. What does she mean by that!?
So sad, my eyes.
"Where are you going? It's late...,"
"Out," she calls back over her shoulder and walks out of the bedroom.
She cannot see.
I run out after her, slinging my body to follow her. I catch myself against the railing at the top of the stairs case, as I watch her slam the front door and she's gone.
what did I miss?
I know every single inch of my wife, from her head down to her toes. I can close my eyes and imagine her naked body in full flesh tones, outlining every curve and perfectly recall everything she claims as imperfection. She's acting strangely and this attitude is very new. Her perfume is much more shocking and loud in fragrance...nothing like the soft smell of flower petals that I've grown accustomed to, the smell of my love.
It's 3 am when Cherie finally strolls into the house. She doesn't even know that I'm in the living room. She doesn't even bother to look for me. She just goes into our bedroom and not a peep is heard. She doesn't come back out.
I miss my wife...it's lonely at home, a feeling I thought would never happen again. I really thought she'd understand. I thought she'd comfort me in the soothing, soul calming way that only she can. But I was wrong. I am disgusting. Maybe I am a pig. If she's I am...
I think it's gonna be a long, long time til we touch down again- this ain't what I thought marriage is. I thought she'd love me with a passion that would burn for a thousand years. Again- I was wrong. It's no longer a flame of love alive in her heart and to be completely truthful- I think I feel my own heart beginning to reseal itself in the comfort of an icy shell. Gone, is the fire that brightened my horizons. I miss the heat, but it's been extinguished and it seems I'll never be able to rekindle it to match what we were. Something maybe intuition, lets me know that she's slipped from my fingertips; It's a icy-hot chill that courses through me. In fact, it's cold as hell.