— Rowdy Howdy Inn, Svartalfheim —
"Godsdamnit," Lulu cursed as she pushed open the door. "Why is it that every tavern we find has to be seedy, dark, and filled with gross, hands-y men you wouldn't want to touch with a thirty-foot pole?"
"Because you always pick the taverns we stop at?" Idelle answered in her ear.
"It was an entirely rhetorical question, Dell, but thank you so much for pointing out my flaws."
"That's what I'm here for."
Lulu grimaced at the soft mutterings from her friend. A quick side glance confirmed her suspicions. Idelle never said a word of complaint in their travels, not one. Whether traveling through veils, fighting bandits, fighting monsters, or just skirting the law because it was fun, Idelle was always at her side. It was easy for Lulu to forget how difficult parts of the journey were for her friend.
Navigating the veils was strenuous enough when it was a simple journey from A to B, but reaching Svartalfheim was no easy feat. It required a complex route of no less than seven veils taken in almost rapid succession, but that wasn't the end of it. They had a long, grueling walk through hostile territory to reach this tavern of semi-respectability. It wasn't the nicest place, but at least they were almost guaranteed to not be attacked by either the resistance fighters or by the imperial loyalists that were constantly feuding. Idelle's magic was likely running on empty. They hadn't paid the Black Gathering this time, relying completely on Idelle's power. She needed a warm place where she could relax, eat, and get a good night's rest.
So, Lulu apologized quietly and led her friend over to a table near the roaring fireplace in the back of the tavern. The two gentlemen sitting there looked up as they approached. "Move." The men made to argue but Lulu held up a hand to quiet them. "I would really reconsider how you're planning to speak to me and my friend here, because we've both had a really long day, and I'd rather not end it by cutting two dicks off and tossing them into the fire."
A moment of consideration, and the two men promptly vacated their seats. Lulu thanked them in her sweetest voice as Idelle rolled her eyes and took the seat closest to the fire. Lulu left her for only a little while as she went to get their food and drinks. When she returned, Idelle looked pale, but already a little better from the much-needed rest. She pushed the small plate of food to her friend.
"I'm sorry, Dell. We should've stopped sooner."
"And miss that incredibly inspiring display of you tripping over your own feet when that krelvig dove out from those bushes? I wouldn't've missed that for the world, Lulu." Idelle smiled slyly as she tore off a piece of bread and popped it in her mouth. Lulu's nose wrinkled with annoyance.
"Laugh it up, but it could've been anything coming out of there. It could've been a resistance fighter or a loyalist. Either one would've tried to kill us. I saved your life."
"Yes, you did. You saved me from the vicious krelvig with its long, little snout, four tiny paws, and its evil soft fur that feels like silk. Thank the goddess you startled it away before it could mistake me for a piece of grass."
"I do hate you, you know," Lulu glared at her friend as she sipped her rather tasteless ale. "I'll remind you, I'm a highly desirable traveling companion and could pick anyone else to travel with, but I keep you around...because I'm nice."
"Ha! You keep me around because no one else can stand you for longer than twenty seconds!"
"What about...?"
"Your sexual conquests don't count because you're done with them twenty seconds after you...do whatever gross things you probably get up to."
"Hey!" Lulu protested, a piece of bread half hanging out of her mouth. "Just because I like sex doesn't make me a sexual deviant."
At her words, a man at the next table leaned over and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Lulu took a long sip from her mug as the man continued to stare, his tongue snaking out from behind chapped lips that were dotted with bits of food. A few lewd gestures and Lulu leaned forward, her chin resting on the back of her hand.
"Do you have a vagina?" she asked. The man blinked, confused. "Then, I'm not interested. Also, you're absolutely disgusting. My father was a gigantic slut in his day, and I'm pretty sure even he wouldn't have touched you after sixteen kegs and a scalding bath for you."
"Oh," the man recoiled sharply. "You're one of those queers, who..." The words stopped abruptly, his face turning an alarming shade of red as he reached up to grasp at his throat. Lulu glanced over to her friend, who made no outward signs she was doing anything at all, but she knew the feeling of her friend's magic well. Idelle held the man by his throat with her magic, the grip tightening ever so slightly.
"I'm sorry," Idelle said sweetly. "Were you saying something?"
"I...said..." the man wheezed. "That you're...dis...gust...ing." She tightened her hold again. "Your kind...don't belong...here...ya QUEER!"
The word silenced the tavern. Lulu was surprised by the reaction. A pin dropping could have been heard in the wake of his shout, all eyes turning to where the man sat. Idelle released him immediately, the man coughing and hacking as he stood up and pointed at them.
"A bunch of queers! The white one would rather take another woman to bed than a man! I don't want to know what the brown one would do!"
"Oh, it's not just another woman," Lulu said proudly as she stood. "I'd fuck a cactus before you. Trust me. And, if anyone wants to have words or a fight over this incredibly ridiculous matter, then let's just get crackin' already."
A chair screeched across the floor. Lulu's hand reached for her sword, but the man that stood raised a hand, signaling he didn't wish to fight. Regardless, she kept her hand on the hilt as he made his way toward them. He was an absurdly large man. Nearly as tall as Uncle Baloren, he was all muscle, each one rippling even as he walked the short distance. His dark brown skin with warm red-orange undertones glowed with softness against the flickering of the fire crackling behind them, but his brow was set in a hard line, nostrils flaring out to make this hulking beast of a man look even more dangerous. He could probably kill everyone in the tavern with nothing but his ginormous hands. Instead of Lulu, it appeared his intent was to reach the other man instead.
"Ah, fuck, Martin," the Innkeep groaned behind the counter. "What am I gonna tell your sister?"
The huge man towered over the man named Martin, his shoulders squared to show his full height and girth. "So... You're sayin' you have a problem with people who sleep with and love members of their own gender?"
"It's gross. It's disgusting! It's..."
The other man shook his head and turned to point at the table near the far window. "You see that man, there? The one with the blonde hair, blue eyes, skinny as a rail, and that horrible excuse for a beard?" Martin nodded. "His name is Isaac Pimperknell, and I've loved him since that lanky motherfucker tried to save me from a pack of ghouls." He turned back to Martin and raised his fist. Lulu grimaced. It was the same size as Martin's head. "Still think it's a good idea to be homophobic, you piece of shit?"
"Um..." Martin looked from the man's fist, to Lulu, who winked at him, and back to the man. "It's not...uh...I mean..."
"Get out of here," the man motioned to the door. Martin didn't have to think twice, scrambling for the exit without a backward glance. When he was gone, the tavern resumed its nightly ruckus as the man turned back to Lulu, eying her curiously. "That's a lot of steel for one lady. We don't see a lot of newcomers 'round here."
Lulu shrugged. "What can I say? I just couldn't resist the seedy tavern built into the side of the mountain. Lovely country, by the way. I just adore how walking from one settlement to another is basically a death-sentence. Oh, and thanks for the help with, what was his pathetic name? Martin? But I think you shoulda kissed him first. You probably would've caught an incurable disease, but the look on his face woulda been priceless..." she dissolved into a fit of laughter.
The man chuckled, extending one hand in friendship. "Name's Duncan Fizzerweld."
"Fuck, I'm sorry. That's an awful name." He nodded. "I'm Lulu, and that's Idelle."
"Mind if Isaac and I join you ladies? I'm tired of listen' to Gerd and Hindle's same stories, over and over. Be a good change of pace."
"Gods below, do any of you have a normal sounding name?"
Duncan pointed to a rosy skinned man at his table, hunched over a hand of cards as he played a woman with long red hair. "Him. His name's Thomas. Best card player you ever met. Don't ever play him. You'll lose your smallclothes before you realize you're broke."
"Well, that lady with him seems perfectly content to lose...whoa...everything. She is completely naked. And, she has fantastic tits."
Duncan nodded. "That's Slutty Tutty. She'll take anyone."
"Hmm..." Lulu tilted her head, imagining the possibilities. A touch of frost blooming on her shoulder returned her thoughts to the matter at hand. With a backwards glance at Idelle, she brushed the cold from her shoulder and invited the men to join them.
They sat together, enjoying their meals and ale as they exchanged simple pleasantries. It wasn't often they came across such friendly locals, especially in Svartalfheim, but the men who joined them at the Rowdy Howdy Inn were some of her favorites they had met along the way.
It turned out the four of them were ex-imperial soldiers that had left the Legion after Alpha-Commander Baloren Tor'Varyan's departure. They had fought with the famous Lion when he had been stationed in Svartalfheim and had helped him to secure victory at the Battle of Khest. Duncan had earned a commendation from the Lion himself and had been gifted his personal dagger that carried the Tor'Varyan crest. He had shown it with pride, his eyes sparkling as Lulu traced the raised edges fondly. She had returned it to him with a small smile and told them that Baloren Tor'Varyan was no less than their uncle. Duncan had inhaled a sizeable portion of his drink, Isaac had choked on a grape, Gerd's jaw dropped so comically that Lulu had snorted her own drink out her nose, and Hindle let out a squeal that would have made a choir boy jealous.
From there, the conversation flowed even more easily, everyone far more comfortable and relaxed with drink and common ground between them. The Innkeep brought them more food, a nod passing between Duncan and the Innkeep and a quiet pat on the shoulder. It seemed Duncan and the others were regulars here and very well liked, for a reason. At long last, however, the conversation turned from their pasts to the future instead.
"So, then," Duncan leaned back in his chair, sated with a fully belly. "What brings two fearsome ladies out here, then? Not much near the Rowdy Howdy Inn except resistance fighters, burnt farmlands, and... No, that's about it."
"How do you stand the violence?" Idelle asked as she shifted in the uncomfortable wooden chair. "We've only been traveling for about a day in total here, and everywhere we went there were burning fields, attacks on the roads, villages in disarray... How can life even carry on here?"
Duncan laughed sadly. "Well, to be honest, the fighting's actually decreased since the Bridges broke. Without Valdornne lording over everyone...well..."
"Honestly," Hindle joined in. "I think everyone keeps fighting each other because they don't know what to do, otherwise."
Gerd nodded. "I mean, when Valdornne was here...The Resistance had purpose. They were liberating lands and fighting for their people's freedom. Now, it's just...all they know."
"That's really sad," Idelle frowned into her own mug. Most were on their third or fourth drink, except for Lulu who was on her fifth, but she hadn't even finished one.
Duncan shook his head with a small smile. "No need to be sad, little lady. Valdornne's gone. For better or worse, Svartalfheim is free. They get to forge their own future now. That's more than they've had in over a thousand years. Peace doesn't last forever, but neither does fighting. They'll work it out."
"Valdornne just seems like it did a lot more harm than good. I doubt its scars will ever fully heal. It makes me sad to think of all the history and culture lost for the 'Valdornne Ideal.'"
Duncan nudged Lulu playfully. "That's a woman with a good heart you've got there. Don't take her for granted."
"What?" Lulu's eyes darted to Idelle, her friend blushing heavily as she buried her face in her mug. "No. We're friends. We grew up together."
"But you're not actually blood related, yes? 'Sides, she seems to have no trouble havin' feelings for you."
"Well, duh," Lulu laughed. "I mean, look at me, I'm fucking gorgeous. I'm sexy, confident, an amazing swordswoman, and a skilled and ardent lover. Who wouldn't fall for me?"
"Can I marry you?" Hindle asked.
"Do you have a vagina?"
"I can tuck it in."
"Gross."
"I second that," Duncan raised his mug. "But I do believe we strayed from topic. Where are you lovely ladies headed?"
"Anywhere we can help you get?" Isaac asked quietly. He hadn't said much during their conversation, allowing Duncan to take most of the spotlight while he watched his lover fondly. But the question was asked with genuine sincerity and kindness.
"Oh, well, we are headed to a lovely little place known as The Doom that Consumes the World," Lulu leaned against the table, taking a long drink of her ale.
The smiles slipped from their companions' faces in an instant. Duncan sat forward, his eyes serious as he looked at her closely. "Why the fuck are you goin' there?"
"Whoa, language, Dunc-y. We have some business with an ancient priestess named Virmira Tanadall. We're hoping her descendants can point us in the right direction."
"Her descendants, huh? You'll have some trouble with that."
"Why?" Idelle asked, brow furrowed.
"Because Ar'Surbellan are made infertile when they join the priesthood."
"Fuckin' damnit." Lulu groaned. "Well, maybe the locals will know something."
"Or," Duncan cut in, "just a suggestion, but, maybe, you could just ask the lady herself instead."
"A corpse is going to help me, how?"
"Wait," Idelle looked at him. "Are you saying she's alive?" He nodded. "How is that even possible? She was revered in the days of Vandalar...How could...?"
He shrugged, rubbing a hand over his bald head. "I don't know the particulars, and I don't want to. I was near the Doom once, and that was more than enough for me. The sounds coming from their tents...that's magic you don't want to mess with, and it's certainly no place for two nice ladies such as yourselves. Ar'Surbellan... They never part with anything for free."
"There's no other choice," Lulu shook her head. "Virmira Tanadall has something I need."
"What could be worth gambling your life with those witches?" Duncan's concern was touching. Even knowing her for only a few hours, it was nice to remember there were good people in the worlds. Some days, it seemed like there were too few of them.
"My dad," she answered, honestly. "I watched him get locked away in another plane when I was four-years-old. I promised myself, and him, that day that I would bring him home, whatever the cost. Virmira Tanadall and The Doom that Consumes the World don't scare me. I've faced witches before."
"These ones are different. Trust me. When you reach the Doom, you'll see."
"At least let us escort you part of the way," Isaac said. "I can tell you both know how to handle yourselves, but it never hurts to have more numbers on a journey like this...especially to the Doom."
"Thank you," Idelle cut in before Lulu could deny their offer. "That would be very apprecia..."
The door to the tavern was kicked open without ceremony, something small, round, and smoking tossed into the crowded space. Duncan reached for Isaac, pulling him beneath him as they rolled to the floor.
"Bomb!" someone shouted a split second before it exploded.
Somehow, Idelle managed a barrier at the same moment. It absorbed most of the blast, but not all of it. Lulu felt her back slam into the wall behind them, her head knocking against the stone. There was shouting and chaos, smoke filling the inn so thickly it was difficult to see anything. She could hear sounds of fighting drawing closer, and someone managed to shout, Lavaira'telle, the Elven Resistance.
A hand snaked through the smoke to grab her own. She jumped at the contact, but then, the fingers threaded through hers, and she knew it was Idelle. Her friend pulled her along through the kitchens and out a back door they happened to find. Others were making their hasty exits as well, but as she searched their faces, she saw no signs of their new friends.
Someone grabbed her shoulder and she whirled around, sword at the ready, the tip of the blade pressed against Duncan's throat. She relaxed when she realized who it was.
"I lost track of Isaac and Hindle," he coughed from the smoke. "I need to stay and help those I can."
Lulu nodded. "I understand."
He clapped her forearm in a Valdornne handshake. "I hope we meet again, Lulu, Idelle." Idelle smiled sadly at their hasty parting. "Walk straight ahead for three miles, and you'll come to a road. Follow that north and by daybreak you'll see a city. It's Eltarraven. Trust no one except for a Halfling you'll meet by the hangman's perch. Rolanberry Puchi. He will tell you the safest route to the Doom. I wish you luck in finding your dad. I hope the price isn't too high."
With that, Duncan shoved his way through the scattering crowd and barreled back inside. In the dark, Lulu looked to Idelle, ensuring her friend was well enough to travel, not that they had much of a choice, before she took her friend's hand and lead them out into the night.