I am not transgender.
Of course, this will make some individuals toss around the word "cis-gender" which is the manner in which people attempt invalidating the opinion of someone who isn't transgender – someone whose identity does not conform to their birth gender. Actually, let's make it clear that the use of "cis-gender" outside of academic papers is honestly inappropriate due to the fact the usage outside of said context is meant as an insult meant specifically to invalidate another person's opinion.
None of this occurred when I first started in fandom over ten years ago. In fact, discussion of the topic was encouraged on both sides, but then again, gender non-conforming people such as me weren't labeled as transgender simply because they didn't conform to society standards regarding gender. I felt comfortable in my own skin, yet I felt some of my greatest supporters were transgendered women who got what it was like to be misgendered or have someone refuse to call you by the gender you wanted to be called by.
Yes, I've been misgendered despite the fact I'm not transgender.
Yes, I've had someone refuse to call me by the appropriate gender.
These are not transgender only issues like some today claim.
Of course, these same people would conveniently label me as transgender because I'm not gender conforming and express myself in a very masculine manner despite being born female and identifying as female, at least in regard to what is expected in American culture. These same people also label intersex people as transgender simply because their eventual gender doesn't match the gender assigned at birth. These same people are the ones who toss around the word "cis-gender" to conveniently invalidate my opinion on the matter despite also wanting to include me in their transgender statistics.
This isn't to say there can't be an overlap between transgender and gender non-conforming people, or transgender and intersex people. To quote Mauro Cabral – who is both intersex and transgender – on the matter in his October 26, 2016 message, "intersex people are not a natural third sex, we don't have a third gender by definition, and leaving a blank sex assignment at bith is not the way to "create justice" for us. We need to stop approaching intersex issues as if they were trans issues. Actually, we can collaborate a lot with the intersex movement by making it clear how wrong that approach is."
As someone who is gender non-conforming, I also ask that our issues not be used to champion transgender people as if our issues were the same. Some are, such as the misgendering and refusal to call me by the gender I want to be, but others are not. I am a person born female who identifies in female who is proud of not conforming to gender norms, yet society wants to squash the fact I am a woman who does not conform to being how society wants a woman to be. In fact, one way patriarchy society tries forcing me into conforming is by trying to say since I don't act like a woman I must be transgender.
However, what does this have to do with fandom?
I actually love the fact transgender individuals identified with Pidge from Voltron: Legendary Defender as transgender, but this also brought up one of my major contentions regarding fandom; if they act male the female must be transgender, but if you disagree with said head canon you are in fact transphobic. Pidge isn't the only character this is done for, but any male character who shows feminine traits or any female character who shows male traits must be transgender. It doesn't matter they clearly don't identify as such.
This isn't to say fans can't have their headcanons, but headcanons are not canon.
There's also the issue that these headcanons are formed on a misconception regarding what being transgender is. Being transgender isn't simply not being the gender assigned at birth, it's that you don't identify with said gender. Which, by that definition alone all intersex people should also be transgender, yet this ignores the fact there are those intersex individuals of whom this is visible and those who don't show up until say puberty who don't fall into a midground on the matter.
It ignores the fact labeling someone as transgender is actually the new way of bullying someone who is non-gender conforming. I bring this up because I've seen articles regarding certain individuals coming out and I feel sickened because they're actually individuals who were condemned for simply being gender non-conforming and find themselves mislabeling themselves. It doesn't help girls during the formative age are quite cruel and have now been given a new arsenal in their hands.
How though does one get a transgender character right, particularly if one isn't transgender?
Draw inspiration from well crafted characters such as Hana from Tokyo Godfathers, but also documentaries about such individuals, yet also articles written by them. Don't draw inspiration though from the poorly crafted characters even if they're advanced for the time. Avoid stereotypes of course, but also don't decide a headcanon just because a character is not gender conforming and you think that's what being transgender is.
It may not seem like a big deal and may seem like you're being supportive of transgendered issues, but for someone like me who is not transgendered and is gender nonconforming it makes us feel like our identity is being erased. For females who are gender nonconforming it also feels like a way for the patriarchy to assert itself over us.