"I don't know Stace, she's acting weird these past few weeks. If not, she's distracted." Beca complained as she slumped herself down on their couch. The taller brunette looked up to her best friend, seeing a worried look on her face.
"Well, maybe it's because you haven't 'stepped up' your game yet, Beca." Stacie joked, the tiny brunette just glared at her, so she tried to look just as serious as Beca was.
"Well, have you talked to her?" She asked. Beca huffed as she put her left hand on her forehead, massaging it.
"I did try, but she seems to avoid my questions. She's not thinking of killing herself again, is she?" Beca's mind was going overdrive.
She knew she shouldn't overthink, but she's been noticing that something's really off with Chloe. The girl is still sweet to her, their relationship is going well. But there are times when Beca would see a teary-eyed Chloe.
And the girl wouldn't talk to her about it.
"Well, I don't think she does. I mean, I could see how happy you two were." Stacie said, trying to help ease her friend's thought.
Beca heave a deep sigh as she checked her phone. Chloe hadn't texted her yet, the redhead left early this morning to visit her parents and grandmother in her hometown which was a couple of hours away from Barden. As much as Chloe wanted Beca to go, the brunette can't, because of work. Besides, Beca wanted Chloe to have some alone time with her family. Well, she's also nervous at the thought of meeting Chloe's parents though she had talked to them once.
"Come on, Beca. Stop overthinking. What do you say we all head out for a drink?" Stacie asked. Just then, Fat Amy and the rest had come out of their rooms.
"Did someone say drink?" Fat Amy said. Beca only shook her head at her friends.
Of course, Beca going out with Amy and the rest would require a lot of drinking. They all headed out, this time, they are not going in Emily's bar. It would be their girls' 'night out' without the Bellas, without Beca's and Stacie's girlfriend. Which was okay, since the bellas were gone for their spring break.
But Beca knew that it was just her friends' excuse to get wasted tonight.
And knowing that, Beca despite her thoughts about her girlfriend, decided not to drink too much or else, they wouldn't be able to get back home. She watched her friends partying like there's no tomorrow. Even Emily, their youngest ones, the one whom Chloe had been treating like a baby.
Beca smiled at the memory when she and Chloe were having an argument when Legacy had accidentally messed up with her mixes. Chloe was like a mother, trying to protect her child from an angry Beca. Since Chloe was backing up Emily, the tiny brunette couldn't do anything about it. Eventually, Chloe still made her feel good about it by seducing Beca. They make up later that day, well, after Chloe and her made out like a horny teenager.
That was one of those times when Beca had almost loose control. Then it became a teasing habit for Chloe to call Beca 'daddy' whenever the brunette is upset, either at their friends being nosy and childish or at Chloe, which doesn't really last long. The redhead could just sit down and do nothing, and Beca would still forgive her.
Damn, she's that whipped.
Beca was just sitting on their table as her friends continue to dance when her phone vibrated. She quickly took her phone out and smiled upon seeing Chloe's name on her screen. She wasted no time in answering the call.
"Hey, baby." Chloe's voice rushed through the line. Beca couldn't stop the smile on her face by just hearing the redhead's voice.
"Hey, how was your trip?" Beca answered. There was a quick silence, she heard Chloe move from the other line and she knew that the redhead is already on bed.
"Pretty boring, I wish you're here with me. I miss you." Chloe's soft spoken voice was enough to make Beca grin like a teenager talking to her first crush.
"I miss you too." Beca replied when Amy called her from afar. She could imagine Chloe furrowing her eyebrows.
"Where are you, Becs?" Chloe asked. The brunette glared at the Aussie blonde, and motioned that she's on the phone with Chloe. Before Chloe could say anything, Beca spoke.
"Yeah, the girls wanted to hang out." Beca explained. Then there's silence.
"Chloe?" Beca called, she heard the redhead sigh.
"I'm warning you Beca, if you agree to Amy or Cynthia Rose's idea to get you a hook up while I'm away... I'm cutting your balls off." Chloe sounded like a typical jealous girlfriend, whose lover is out with her friends, and is suspecting them of doing something naughty.
But Beca isn't like that. Even Stacie, now that the sexy brunette is being tied down by Aubrey as well. Well, better be clear than sorry, having Fat Amy around could mean any trouble.
"Hey, now. You know I'm all yours. Besides, I don't think there's no need for a threat, I won't do anything stupid, baby." Beca argued in her defense. Just the thought of having her friend cut off makes her wince already.
Chloe chuckled on the other line, which made Beca smile, too.
"Also, I don't think you'd be able to cut my little friend off. You haven't got to befriends with him yet." Beca added, teasing the redhead. She heard Chloe groan followed by a light laugh.
"And here I thought Stacie's the only weird one to call it a dude. You guys are really bestfriends." Chloe sniped back causing Beca to grin.
"Well, mine's more reasonable." Beca sarcastically retorted.
Then they both fell in a comfortable silence.
"But that won't mean that you can get yourself some other girl while I'm not around." Chloe warned again, though she feels uncomfortable that Beca is out, without her, she knew she could trust Beca. Well, the girl has some good control in herself, Chloe would admit to provoking the brunette but she feels glad and so important that the brunette is treating her like a precious gold.
"Don't worry, Chlo. You only have the privilege to call me daddy." Beca stated with a smirk.
The two talked with each other for longer, causing Beca to miss the agenda of their night out. Well, it's a good thing though, because her friends were all wasted that she was surprised by herself that she managed to get them home.
Chloe thought that visiting her family during spring break would help her ease her mind. Apparently, she had come to good terms with her parents after her attempted suicide. She then realized that her parents didn't intentionally wanted to hurt her feelings.
They all just loved her sister, that they were all afraid of forgetting her. So, for the past few months as well, Chloe and her family had been trying to fix their relationship. Which is going okay.
She had decided to visit her sister's grave after arriving at their cabin.
What she hadn't expected was to see Tom… whom she hadn't seen for a long while. The brunette guy was surprised to see Chloe there. But then he smiled at her, she felt her energy drained all in one go, as she forced herself to walk forward. She smiled back at him, as she stood on his side. She looked down and saw a fresh white roses placed on top of her sister's grave.
She kneeled and placed her own flowers beside Tom's. She then stood back up, staring at the engraved name of her sister. She know she shouldn't feel this way, but damn, she could feel her heart beating wildly. A pair of hazelnut brown eyes staring at her didn't help. She took a quick glance at the man, smiling timidly at him.
"Long time no see." Tom said with a soft tone. Chloe nodded at him with a small smile.
"So, how are you?" Tom asked, not tearing his eyes off of Chloe.
The redhead swallowed and knew that there's no way she could escape this. Their supposed 'talk' had been buried for much longer now, isn't it about time?
She then met Tom's gaze and her heart almost melt. She knew it was wrong, she's with Beca now. But the effect that Tom has on her is clearly still there. And damn, it's confusing Chloe.
"I'm good. You? I haven't seen you around for months." Chloe answered as she looked away.
Tom just smiled, "I was injured and have to take surgeries. Got my knee fucked up on my soccer game."
Chloe's eyes shot wide open. She couldn't stop herself from being concern, they're bestfriends after all.
"Why? What happened, how was it?" Chloe rained him a lot of questions. Tom chuckled which made Chloe's heart jump.
"Calm down, Chlo. I'm good now. Sorry I haven't reached out to you I figured you still wanted your space." Tom's voice sounded hurt. Chloe looked at him apologetically. She realized that she just made things awkward for them.
"I'm sorry Tom. I was just so confused and messed up that time." Chloe tried to explain as though, she felt a small lump in her throat. Tom just shook his head with a gentle smile.
"I understand, Chloe. I was just a bit hurt that instead of talking to me, you pushed me away." Tom confessed, and Chloe wasn't so sure anymore of what to feel.
Or how should she feel.
"So, are we good now?" Tom asked, dropping the subject. He tilted and looked at Chloe with a hopeful smile,
"Because I couldn't stand being away from you anymore." Sincerity filled his voice.
Chloe pursed her lips as she met with his eyes. She then remembered Beca. The girl who helped her forget about all these. The girl who loved her more than anything even in a span of a few months. And is still doing so.
Tom noticed the quietness of Chloe. He frowned as brows furrowed, "Now, tell me there's nothing wrong?" He stated.
Chloe snapped out of her daze as she looked back at him, shaking her head. "Of course, we're friends." She blurted out.
She didn't want to assume anymore but this time, she saw the change of his expression. He then looked at her as if he wanted to say something but decided not to.
"Clarisse would be so proud of you." Tom stated with a pained smile. Chloe furrowed her eyebrows, she was expecting him to compare her with her sister but… he said something different.
Chloe then turned to face her sister's grave. She saw at the corner of her eyes how Tom smiled at himself as if he's done something silly.
"I just talked to her and thanked her for pitying me. Because months ago…" Tom trailed, gathering Chloe's attention. Confusion filled her face completely, "I told her… to give me one fucking sign. And I would let go." He said, Chloe felt how much hurt he is now. She was amazed at how he loved her sister all through the years.
Chloe then felt a sharp pain in her chest. One questioned had come clear to her the time she had been here with him.
Had she already moved on? From him?
Tom sniffed as he scratched the back of his head, he could not look at Chloe. "You know what sign did I ask for?" His voice broke.
Chloe is now confused than ever. He then turned and looked at her in the eyes, pain filled his eyes.
"You."
It seemed to be a cue for Chloe's tears to stream down her cheeks. They just stood there, looking at one another. How is this happening, now.
"T-tom..." Chloe whispered in a muffled voice, as her tears flowed wildly. He shook his head and smiled at her.
"Hear me out please… look, I'm sorry Chlo. I was dumb. I wasn't sure if I did hurt you, but I'm sorry. I tried… I tried to stop myself, at first, I thought it's because you're her sister." Tom paused as he looked deeply at Chloe's eyes, finding a source of strength to keep going.
"I kept telling myself that. And when you jumped off the bridge that day, I hated myself… I hated and feared the thought that I will lose you. Just like how she slipped out of my hand. I knew by then that it was her sign… that I have to let her go so I could love you, completely." He confessed as his voice cracked.
Chloe felt her heart sank upon hearing him lay his heart out in front of her. Months ago, she wished nothing but to hear him say those.
Why is life fucking with her? Why is fate playing with her? And why is her heart betraying her?
Chloe shook her head, as she bit her lower lip, suppressing her sobs. Tom looked at her, his eyes pleading yet it is filled with sincerity. He thought that this was too much for her to take. He smiled at her, tears falling from his eyes.
"I'm not expecting to hear an answer, Chloe. I just figured that I should say it now, or I'll never get the courage again to do so." His voice was laced with defeat and pain.
He looked at her once again, before walking away. Giving her more time. He knew she would call him if she's ready to talk, to hear more from him. Chloe would always listen. Tom knew her enough. And he will wait.
When Tom was gone, it was then Chloe had broken down. She helplessly slumped on the ground, as she sobbed hard, her tears representing her pain. She didn't know how long she sat there, in front of her sister's grave. She doesn't know what to feel anymore. But pain is surely one of those, she clutched her chest as she sniffs.
Her mind could not handle everything, especially what Tom had just said. She felt the cool breeze of the wind against her skin. She smiled through her pain as she stared at her sister's grave.
"What should I do? Could you like come back… and, help me?" Chloe sobbed as her tears continued flowing. She knew this shouldn't be her reaction. But how? Tom had just confessed, he had said the things she'd been dying to hear.
And just when she thought she's over him, here he comes and suddenly confesses? How fucked up, is that?
Chloe kept on crying for hours, forgetting how long she had been there. All her anxiety rushing back through her, her tears un-ending… draining all of her.
She cried and cried… until she blacked out.
"Chloe? God, you scared me! You scared us, did you know that?" Chloe's mom, Carol, said worriedly when Chloe stirred. She's in the hospital, again.
Chloe pursed her lips as she opened her eyes. Her swollen eyes. She met the concerned eyes of her parents. His dad tearing up at the sight of her poor daughter. He's never been expressive, but seeing her left and now only daughter just breaks his heart.
"Sweetie, what's wrong? I thought… I thought we're gonna lose you too!" Carol tried to control her threatening tears as she engulfed her daughter into a hug. Which made Chloe just cry again. The pain, the confusion, everything had come back to Chloe.
David, Chloe's father, dried his tears as he approached his wife and daughter. Placing an arm over them.
"I'm sorry mom. I didn't mean to be so weak… it's just, it's hurting me." Chloe cried as if she was a kid, crying in her mother's arms.
"I know honey… I'm sorry we weren't there for you." Carol hushed her daughter as she rubs Chloe's back.
Chloe cried for a few minutes, until she had calmed down. The doctor said that she had been dehydrated and she cried too hard causing her body to give out. Chloe has been going through a lot of stress, ever since her twin died. And with this thing going on, it just adds up to that.
Her mother held her hand as she stared blankly. "You could've talked to us about Tom…" Carol said, Chloe smiled sheepishly.
"I thought I'm already doing fine… with Beca, you know. We're doing just fine." Chloe answered with a soft voice. Her mind fleeting back to Beca. She felt guilty for being confused after Tom's confession.
Carol nodded knowingly, "What are you going to do, then?" she asked. Chloe was taken aback, she hadn't thought about that yet.
What should she do? She's too confused right now. But if she does love Beca, she shouldn't be… right?
"Honey… were you questioning your feelings for Beca?" Carol asked, David just stood and leaned against the wall, listening to their conversation. Chloe took a deep sigh, as another tear fell from her eyes. God, why is she so vulnerable.
"I don't know mom… I don't know anymore." Chloe's voice cracked. Images of a smiling Beca came to her mind, she suddenly felt sorry about her… fuck, why.
"Why didn't you tell me that something happened? Fuck, do you know how much worried I was?" Beca said, anger laced in her voice.
It wasn't that usual that Beca is using this kind of tone to Chloe. She was always soft, calm and gentle when it come to the redhead. But hearing that Chloe passed out and was in the hospital over spring break, Beca had lose it completely.
Chloe just looked down, not knowing what to do. That's when Beca knew that there is definitely something wrong.
Because it nothing, Chloe would come up now and use her charm to calm Beca off. But instead, the redhead remained on her seat. Not to mention that she hadn't looked at Beca in the eyes, yet. Beca's face soften, she kneeled in front of Chloe and held her hands, the redhead still not looking at her.
"Baby?" Beca called in a much softer tone. Chloe glanced at her quickly and it just pained her even more. She loves Beca…so why is she acting like this?
"I'm sorry… I just thought you'd leave your work without a word if you knew… I'm good now, I was just dehydrated." Chloe rambled, biting her lips when she remembered Tom, who hadn't talked to her yet.
Beca nodded, accepting Chloe's explanation. She pulled Chloe into a hug, which Chloe returns. She hugged Beca tight, her eyes shut closed, digging her head in Beca's shoulder.
"I missed you." Beca whispered as she kissed the side of Chloe's head. Chloe felt like she was being tortured. She knew she couldn't hurt Beca who had done anything, who loves her.
They stayed together just like that, holding one another in their arms. Beca stealing a few kisses from Chloe, god, she missed this girl so much. And worrying about her for a week didn't help. It scared Beca to death, she's almost losing it when Chloe's dad called her. She could remember how his voice sounded in pain and serious. She could hear Chloe's dad begging her to take care of Chloe and to make sure that she'd do everything to make and keep Chloe happy. No matter what happens.
And Beca made a promise. She would, even without Chloe's dad request. She hadn't met Chloe's parents yet, but she was just glad that they were supportive of their relationship.
Beca then stood up from her bed, looking at Chloe. "Do you want to come tonight? We'll be performing." She asked her girlfriend.
Chloe flashed a genuine smile as she nodded her head. "Of course, since when did I missed your performance?" she answered.
Beca smiled at her girlfriend, before smirking, "When we haven't met yet?" she joked. But Chloe's mind quickly flew somewhere else.
She remembered those times when she and Beca haven't known each other yet. Then, a thought had completely occupied her mind.
So, those gestures that Tom had been showing Chloe were something else?
Beca watched her girlfriend attentively, she knew something's bothering Chloe. She knew that Chloe was aware that she could tell anything to her, she never forced Chloe to talk. But the redhead would eventually come around and open up to her, just as much as she does. So, what exactly is it that Chloe could not get herself to talk to Beca about it?
The brunette shrugs her own thoughts and tried to be more understanding. She knew loving Chloe includes having to understand her and be just there for her.
And that's what's Beca is going to do.
Beca and Chloe had met the rest of their friends at Emily's bar, the bellas seeing each other after coming from their own spring breaks. Aubrey was the only one who knew what happened to Chloe. And she's worried about what would happen to her bestfriend, and friend… Beca.
Stacie and Beca left their girlfriends on their usual spot in the VIP area to go down and prepare for their upcoming performance. This time, Fat Amy suggested a new gimmick. They would be singing requests from the crowd. Which everyone was excited about. A lot of requests came flooding in.
Aubrey looked at her bestfriend and noticed the burdened look in her face. She smiled at her sympathetically, putting a hand on top of Chloe's. They would talk about it later.
After a few minutes, Beca and her band started performing their prepared set list. Not failing the crowd to amaze them by their music. Until they went into the new segment that Fat Amy had suggested. Cynthia Rose came back to the stage with a big box, filled with papers, song requests written on it by their customers.
Emily took the first honour of randomly picking a song. She smiled after seeing it, she then whispered to her friends as they prepare to sing the song. Beca looked up to see where her girlfriend was, she smiled at her. Chloe returning a sad smile.
"So, this song is for the dude out there…" Emily said through the mic, pointing at the guy with his friends sitting on one of those tables, who all cheered at them wildly.
"Dude, don't worry, if she's meant for you, she'll come back." Beca smiled at them, "So this is Gravity by Sara Bareilles. Nice choice of song, by the way." Beca grinned as the guys shouted a; 'it's for our broken-hearted friend!'
The crowd all chuckled and laughed at this.
Then the group started playing their instruments, Beca was taking the lead for the song.
Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long
No matter what I say or do
I'll still feel you here 'till the moment I'm gone
You hold me without touch
You keep me without chains
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love
And not feel your reign
Beca sung soulfully like she always does. Her deep alto-voice perfectly giving the song a justice.
Music is her passion, she feels like it speaks her mind when her mouth couldn't.
Chloe watched as her girlfriend sing with much emotions, she knew the pick was random but why does it felt like it was intentionally chosen? She felt her chest tighten as the lyrics of the song spears through her. She felt her eyes warmed up. Aubrey looked at her in panic, patting her shoulders.
And Beca singing with so much emotions didn't help.
Set me free, leave me be
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am, and I stand
So tall, just the way I'm supposed to be
But you're on to me and all over me
It was the chorus that sent Chloe's tears to fall. The song being sung by Beca just made its message raw and the sad feelings were embracing Chloe.
She was confused as to why the song relates to her, she knew… she knew that Tom is doing this to her. She couldn't get over Tom, could she?
She silently cried, worrying the other bellas but Aubrey told them to just let Chloe be. While Chloe just stared at her girlfriend who looked back, and her expression turned into a worried one. Chloe shook her head and smiled at Beca.
Oh, you loved me 'cause I'm fragile
When I thought that I was strong
But you touch me for a little whie
And all my fragile strength is gone
One thing Chloe couldn't handle well is… confusion. She was always confused, especially when talking about her feelings. The first time she had fallen for Tom, she wasn't aware of it… she was confused by it. Until Aubrey made her realize her own feelings.
And she knew, even if Aubrey tried to help… she would continue mess herself up, mess her relationship with Beca because of her confusion.
Because she lost the assurance of to whom her heart is actually beating for.
When she shouldn't be confused in the first place. When she shouldn't be doubting her feelings for Beca. When she shouldn't be thinking about how Tom have been actually feeling towards her all this time.
She shouldn't be, yet she did.
Beca continued through the second chorus of the song even though she is worried sick about Chloe. She swears she just saw Chloe's eyes glistening with tears. She's crying, but why? Is she on her period, or something? She'd never seen Chloe be this emotional when she sings.
I live here on my knees as I try to make you see
That you're everything I think I need here on the ground
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down
You're keeping me down, ooh
You're on to me, on to me, and all over
Beca had successfully hit the high notes of the song, causing for the crowd to scream as they feel the emotion of the song, they cheer and clap wildly at the brunette. They had just felt melancholy through Beca's voice and the song. They all turned their head at the back when they saw the guy from before screaming a; 'fuck' as he cried. He was being teased by his friends, so the crowd wasn't sure if they should sympathize with the guy or not.
Beca finished with the song, blurting out the last lines with just much emotions, making everyone more emotional.
Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long
Everyone clapped at the soulful singing of the brunette. That's when Chloe could not take it anymore, she stood up and walked out. Luckily, Beca hadn't seen that since she was occupied at waving at the crowd. Though Stacie saw that, she looked to her girlfriend, Aubrey, who shook her head and nodded at the brunette before following Chloe.
Then, they proceeded into singing a few more of the requests before ending their performance.
Beca frowned when she saw an empty seat upstairs. She checked her phone and saw a text message from Aubrey who told her that she went home with Chloe, since the redhead isn't feeling fine. Which Beca wasn't aware that it's a lie.
The brunette of course wanted to see Chloe, but Aubrey said to let the redhead rest. Which was another lie, but Aubrey knew it would be the best for now.
The brunette stood in front of the bellas house, she looked up and saw that there's still a light in Chloe's room. She was still oblivious to what was going on, it's been days and Aubrey had been keeping her in the dark, wasn't helping. She sent Chloe a goodnight message before deciding to leave and talk to Chloe the next morning.
She turned around and was surprise to see Tom, standing not too far from her.
She scoffed and ignored his presence, she is just going to walk past by him. When she heard him talk,
"So, you and Chloe, huh?" Tom's voice doesn't sound anything… but hurt.
Beca frowned as she lifted her head to look at the guy. She looked at him confusedly.
"Yeah… for like three months now." Beca answered. She saw the guy smile, but she also saw the sadness in his eyes. What's going on with this jerk.
Tom nodded, as he glanced at Chloe's room once again.
"I see, I was late." Tom mumbled before leaving. Beca stood dumbfounded, her eyes rounder.
What the fuck does that mean?