USERNAMES (because I haven't done this in a long time and there was a lot of username changing last chappie)
ATEEZ
Hongjoong: R00DSHORTIE
Seonghwa: everyonesfav
Yunho: TeddyBearYunho
Yeosang: Shy Boy
San: SANshine
Mingi: Narrator Rainbow
Wooyoung: uwuyoung
Jongho: appletree
ONEUS
Youngjo/Ravn: r00dboii
Seoho: dumbjerk
Geonhak/Leedo: GONEHAK
Keonhee: StrongToedOlaf
Hwanwoong: Shortwoong the Tree
Dongju/Xion: babyxion
☺
8.59 a.m.
Messaging: ONETEEZ BATCHES
uwuyoung
Y'all we ticked off my mom so bad
She won't talk to me now
Shortwoong the Tree
Tell her she's the mean one for not appreciating our efforts to make a good crackfic
Shy Boy
At least she won't bug me about my vitamins and food and stuff anymore
Shortwoong the Tree
Hmm that's nice
uwuyoung
Anyways
How was y'all's day?
Shy Boy
Is this your attempt to start another normal conversation?
uwuyoung
No, actually
Every attempt of a normal conversation turns into a not normal conversation
So this a way for us to start a not normal conversation and entertain some certain people
Shortwoong the Tree
You mean the readers?
uwuyoung
SHUSH NO MORE FOURTH WALL DEMOLISHING
appletree
So we're currently in Bali
And there are so many mosquitoes here
babyxion
Every country has mosquitoes, Jongho
appletree
Singapore has like, none
I should've tried to convince my parents to go on vacation there instead of this forsaken place
babyxion
BALO IS AMAZING IT AIN'T FORSAKEN
Shortwoong the Tree
BALO
Shy Boy
BALO
uwuyoung
BALO
babyxion
I MEANT BALI
appletree
*shakes head exasperatedly*
r00dboii
What's up y'all
appletree
The ceiling
uwuyoung
You plagiarized Mingi!
appletree
You plagiarized me a few chapters ago!
uwuyoung
...
Shut up
appletree
ROOD
appletree is about to change uwuyoung's name to—
TeddyBearYunho
THE UWU STAYS
appletree
babyxion
skskskksks
appletree
DON'T SKSKSKSK HIM
IN FACT, DON'T SKSKSK ANYONE
babyxion
Rude much?
appletree
Shush
Anyway fine
Can I change it to roodieuwu instead
uwuyoung
WHA TIS THAT EVENN
appletree
Your new username
Wanna me to change it?
Shortwoong the Tree
WANNA ME
More like WANNA ONE
babyxion
Y'all I miss Wanna One ):
Shy Boy
Meh Idk who they are
uwuyoung
WAT HOW DO U NOT KNOW WHO THEY ARE
SAN AND I LITERALLY DID A DANCE COVER OF THEM
SO DID YUNHO AND MINGI
TeddyBearYunho
YEAH HOW COULD YOU FORGET
Shy Boy
WELL I'M SORRY I WAS PRETTY BUMMED OUT THAT I COULDN'T DO A DANCE COVER LIKE THAT WITH SEONGHWA OR SOMEBODY
I WAS THE ONLY '99 LINE WHO DIDN'T DANCE IN THAT VID
I FELT LEFT OUT
Shortwoong the Tree
))):
r00dboii
)):
babyxion
):
Yeosang hyung come here imma give you a hug
*sends virtual hugs*
Shy Boy
Aw ):
*receives the hugs*
appletree
Aw this is cute
Shortwoong the Tree
BTW when r u and Dongju coming back?
appletree
Idk
Probably in like five days or something
I don't want to miss school after all
r00dboii
When does school start for y'all?
uwuyoung
Next week I think Idk
I lost the schedule
Shy Boy
Welp not surprised tho
r00dboii
Y'all busy or anything rn?
TeddyBearYunho
Nope
Why you asking?
uwuyoung
Maybe he wants us to come over to their dorm again 🤩
Shortwoong the Tree
And what?
Set our dorm on fire?
r00dboii
NO
But I want a normal conversation for once you know
I want to see if we can actually do it
appletree
In yo dreams
babyxion
In yo dreams
AYYYY
appletree
AYYYY
Shy Boy
With these people, how could we start a normal conversation?
SANshine
Couldn't agree more
r00dboii
Okay fine
So
What stupid thing are we going to talk about today
uwuyoung
I am out of ideas of dumb conversations
Shortwoong the Tree
Keep talking
A dumb conversation usually comes up if we start talking
SANshine
Let's just say random words and let's see if we can make a conversation out of it
Okay
Casablanca
Shy Boy
Idiots
Shortwoong the Tree
Morons
TeddyBearYunho
Weirdos
babyxion
Retards
appletree
Lunatics
r00dboii
Psychos
uwuyoung
Strangers
appletree
Heh?
uwuyoung
Strangers = Strange people
TeddyBearYunho
That is definitely not what strangers mean
uwuyoung
Oh yeah?
Prove it
appletree
uwuyoung
Well the dictionary is wrong
'Strangers' has the word 'strange' in it
And if you have '-er' at the back of a word it means 'more'
Like silly-er
Sillier
And so stranger
Means 'more strange'
As in 'very strange'
And so 'strangers' are 'very strange people'
appletree
TeddyBearYunho
r00dboii
Shortwoong the Tree
babyxion
SANshine
Shy Boy
Welcome to a Wooyoung Lession Session. If you arrived when it just ended, be glad it did.
TeddyBearYunho
@r00dboii @dumbjerk @GONEHAK @StrongToedOlaf @Shortwoong the Tree @babyxion This is Wooyoung's logic at play
Shortwoong the Tree
I can clearly see that
uwuyoung
You gotta admit, that made some sense
appletree
True tho
Narrator Rainbow
What's up b4tches
SANshine
SONGJDKSJ MINGIDHSKAJD NOFJKADGSJADK
Narrator Rainbow
What
Shy Boy
No censoring batches
babyxion
It is already the censored version of the word
appletree
THE WORD
r00dboii
Also, do you know that when you censor it like that I read it as the actual b word?
Shy Boy
Welcome to another corner of this Chatroom Reality Show: Confessions with Ravn the R00d Boii
SANshine
He's so dirty-minded wat da hecking heck
r00dboii
How is reading things as curse words dirty-minded?
Narrator Rainbow
Everything is different in San's language
SANshine
Yeap
appletree
Where is this conversation going...
everyonesfav
Guys
Guys
Guys
I have an actually serious problem
uwuyoung
Okay
What's up
everyonesfav
I have a crush
And IDK how to ask her out
TeddyBearYunho
waIT
Shy Boy
WaiT
uwuyoung
wAIt
babyxion
Hol' up
appletree
Ur legit serious?
everyonesfav
Yes yes yes no jokes now please
Apparently she likes me back
But
Idk how to ask her out
Help
SANshine
This is new
everyonesfav
I'M FOOKING SERIOUS I NEED HELP
r00dboii
Why can't you ask Hongjoong or something
Narrator Rainbow
Yeah ur all so attached to one another I'm surprised that you aren't married—
SANshine
Are you jealous, Mingi? 🤪
Narrator Rainbow
NO WHAT THE FOOK
everyonesfav
MINGI NO
WE'RE JUST VERY CLOSE
BUT I AM LEGIT SERIOUS
THIS IS URGENT
r00dboii
Urgent enough to ask us for dating advice?
everyonesfav
YES
uwuyoung
Wow
He must be very desperate
everyonesfav
YES
appletree
Y'all
Let's make a gc
Shy Boy
To what?
Help Seonghwa get a girlfriend?
I think that's—
Shortwoong the Tree
Y'all Sassy Batch has returned—
Shy Boy
—A GREAT IDEA
Shortwoong the Tree
Never mind
everyonesfav
Aw I'm grateful for y'all :)
uwuyoung
No probs
I'm making the gc okay 👌🏻
Shortwoong the Tree
Oh come on I wanted to ):
babyxion
Just let him do it Shortwoong hyung
Shortwoong the Tree
STOP CALLING ME SHORT
appletree
But it's the truth
Shortwoong the Tree
...
Iamsodonewiththesebatches
☺
9.46 a.m.
uwuyoung created the group chat Helping Seonghwa Ask A Girl Out On A Date
Messaging: Helping Seonghwa Ask A Girl Out On A Date
uwuyoung added appletree
uwuyoung added babyxion
uwuyoung added Shortwoong the Tree
uwuyoung added Shy Boy
uwuyoung added r00dboii
uwuyoung added SANshine
uwuyoung added Narrator Rainbow
uwuyoung
Attention attention!
Narrator Rainbow
I want pie
appletree
Why would anyone want any lame Math questions with pi in it
babyxion
OH MY GOSHNESS JONGHO THAT WAS SO LAME
TeddyBearYunho
I don't even get the joke—
appletree
Goshness??
Shortwoong the Tree
gosh + goodness = goshness
uwuyoung
PAY ATTENTION Y'ALL
THIS IS SERIOUS
Shy Boy
Yeah
Don't you guys want Seonghwa hyung to find happiness?
appletree
If it means finally getting rid of him, yes
uwuyoung
JONGHO WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN 😫
babyxion
At this rate he's going to steal Yeosang's position as being the savage
Shy Boy
No way!
babyxion
Yes way!
Your username doesn't even have the word 'savage' on it
Shy Boy changed his name to Savage Boy
babyxion changed Savage Boy's name back to Shy Boy
babyxion
NO CHANGING
uwuyoung
Okay guys
Ideas to help Seonghwa hyung
r00dboii
Wait
I have a very important question
Why isn't Seonghwa in here
SANshine
Oh yeah I just realized that
Why Woo?
uwuyoung
Tsk I think it's best to not let her in here
appletree
HeR
Shortwoong the Tree
hEr
Narrator Rainbow
hER
uwuyoung
FOOK
I meant HIM
Shy Boy
When will the day come that Wooyoung won't be confused with the pronouns and which gender they go to 🤦🏻♂️
r00dboii
Never
TeddyBearYunho
So true
uwuyoung
UGH GUYS WE KEEP STRAYING OFF TOPIC
SANshine
sTrAy kiDS wOo~
uwuyoung
NOT NOW SAN
SANshine
Oops sorry
uwuyoung
Anyways
I have an idea
Narrator Rainbow
I'm worried
uwuyoung
I'm sure you're going to love this idea
babyxion
I have a feeling I won't
uwuyoung
Why don't we get Seonghwa a piano to throw at his soon-to-be girlfriend as a sign of love?
Shy Boy kicked out uwuyoung
Shy Boy
It had to be done
Shortwoong the Tree
We understand, Yeosang
babyxion
wHY THO
Why would Wooyoung propose that kind of dumb idea
SANshine
He literally offered the same idea when we were trying to find out how to apologize to Jongho
He said it was a "peace offering"
appletree
At this point I'm not even surprised anymore
This is my hyung's logic deteriorating
r00dboii
Couldn't agree more
So
Who's in charge now
Narrator Rainbow
You
You're the eldest
TeddyBearYunho
Yeah
We expect up you to have some dating experience
Shortwoong the Tree
babyxion
r00dboii
What
No
Shortwoong the Tree
PFTTTTT
babyxion
HSKSFKSJSKFJDLS
Shortwoong the Tree
YOUNGJO HYUNG HAVING SOME DATING EXPERIENCE—
babyxion
YEAH RIGHT
Shortwoong the Tree
IN YO WILDEST DREAMS
babyxion
PEOPLE
Narrator Rainbow
Okay so we now know that Youngjo hyung has NO dating experience and is DEFINITELY not fit to lead this group chat
r00dboii
Leading five deranged people is enough anyway
SANshine
HDKAHFKSJSKFK—
appletree
Oki then
Imma in charge
Narrator Rainbow
NO
TeddyBearYunho
JONGHO UR TOO YOUNG FOR THIS SHIRT
Shy Boy
YOU ARE OUR PRECIOUS MAKNAE
SANshine
OUR LITTLE BABY
babyxion
EXCUSE ME—
SANshine
SORRY HE'S ALSO A BABY
appletree
DOOD
I'm like 19—
Narrator Rainbow
STILL A BABY
appletree
Well fook it I'm in charge now
Suck it up hyungs
SANshine
Who's second eldest here
Shortwoong the Tree
ME
SANshine
Anyone?
Shortwoong the Tree
BRO
babyxion
Speak louder Shortwoong hyung we can't here you
Shortwoong the Tree
X Q Z ME—
babyxion
You know what
He's not fit to be a tree
SANshine
Indeed
Narrator Rainbow
Yeah
He was a seedling in my story
babyxion
Oo yes
babyxion changed Shortwoong the Tree's name to Shortwoong the Seedling
Shortwoong the Seedling
WHAT THE FOOK—
appletree
An intellectual
babyxion
✊😌
appletree
So people
Ideas
r00dboii
Why can't Seonghwa just take the girl out on a movie date or something
Narrator Rainbow
Maybe he thinks that movie dates are too cliché for first dates
TeddyBearYunho
If I were to bring a girl out on a date I would bring her to the movies though
babyxion
So if Seonghwa doesn't want any cliché dates he wouldn't want any fancy restaurant dates right?
SANshine
Well I guess it sort of is cliché
But I think another reason why he wouldn't want to take the girl some place like that is because his wallet would be suffering and crying out to him for help
babyxion
?
SANshine
SKSKSKSKSK I meant that Seonghwa would have no more money left in his wallet
babyxion
oH
Shortwoong the Seedling
What about taking her out for bowling night?
Narrator Rainbow
Yo
The seedling actually thought of a great idea
Shortwoong the Seedling
If you call me that one more time—
Narrator Rainbow
Then what? Why do you gotta act so high and mighty?
appletree
GUYS STOP
I actually agree with Woong hyung's idea
Shortwoong the Seedling
Why thank you
appletree
But that's our first option
We need another one
TeddyBearYunho
Movies?
SANshine
No Yunho that one's already crossed out
appletree
Wait wait Yeosang hyung has been typing for a long time now let's see what he has to say
Shy Boy
Okay batches listen up Seonghwa hyung says that he wouldn't like any movie or dinner dates because he believes that during movie dates the couple doesn't interact much and believes that to be somewhat sad and he finds dinner dates somewhat awkward, and so yeah we can't suggest anything like that, but then he said that normal hanging out (like doing homework or studying for a test or going to the park or that kind of shiz) is just boring stuff, and a concert will take 100% of his money away and oh yeah don't even think of proposing a vacation out of Korea because Seonghwa has no money and that's more like a honeymoon than a date and he ain't married yet and yeah so those are the ideas we can't propose to him and that's all I have to say
Also y'all better read all that it took me 38 hours
appletree
...
Did you just type out an essay
r00dboii
That doesn't even count as an essay there are even no freaking periods
appletree
Whatevah
So second choice
Shy Boy
Cannot be any of the above
Shortwoong the Seedling
Why can't we just stick with the bowling idea
It ain't cliché, right?
appletree
I don't think it is but we're asking for another idea just in case Seonghwa disagrees with it we won't have any backup ideas
So
Come on
Think y'all
Or I'm sucking your brains out
Narrator Rainbow
Well sucks to be you then I'm brain dead
appletree changed Narrator Rainbow's name to Brain Dead 🧠
Brain Dead 🧠
stOP
appletree
idEAS
TeddyBearYunho
Wow Mingi's the first one to have an emoji on their username
What an honor
Brain Dead 🧠
OH BE QUIET YUNHO
Shy Boy
Jongho why don't we do this
We propose the sucky bowling idea
Shortwoong the Tree
hEY—
Shy Boy
And when Seonghwa disagrees we come back here and discuss again
Sounds like a great plan?
babyxion
Yes
SANshine
Yesh
Shortwoong the Seedling
Yeap
r00dboii
Let's just say everyone agrees with it, Jongho
appletree
Oki
Back to ONETEEZ BATCHES y'all
☺
1.16 p.m.
Messaging: ONETEEZ BATCHES
R00DSHORTIE
YouTube is a fooking batch
GONEHAK
What now
R00DSHORTIE
They translated Yeosang's line to 'I don't give a shirt' in Wonderland
I'm glad they changed it
Shy Boy
But it's true I don't give out free shirts
R00DSHORTIE
NOT THAT ONE
THE ACTUAL S WORD
Shy Boy
oH
thAT
R00DSHORTIE
yeAH
StrongToedOlaf
If they changed it back already why are you still tucked off about it
R00DSHORTIE
BECAUSE SOME FANS ALREADY SAW IT, IF NOT 89% OF THEM
THERE WAS A COMMENT THAT ASKED PEOPLE TO LIKE IT IF THEY SAW THE LYRICS BEFORE THEY CHANGED IT TO "I DON'T CARE NOW"
r00dboii
Also YOU GUYS PLAGIARIZED US
R00DSHORTIE
What are you even saying
r00dboii
YOU'RE ICONIC LINE IS 가자, JUST LIKE OURS
TeddyBearYunho
Actually, it's "OH MA MA MA WEY—"
r00dboii
SILENCE, PEASANT
TeddyBearYunho
everyonesfav
OI
PEOPLE
STOP TALKING ABOUT PLAGIARISM AND THAT KIND OF SHIRT AND HELP ME WITH MORE URGENT MATTERS
WHERE ARE YOUR IDEAS
appletree
PATIENCE, PEASANT
everyonesfav
Wait wasn't Wooyoung the one in charge
uwuyoung
Yeosang kicked me out ):
Shy Boy
He proposed to throw a piano at your soon-to-be girlfriend
uwuyoung
Yeosang I thought we made an agreement not to expose each other to the others
Shy Boy
I crossed my fingers behind my back
uwuyoung
Traitor ):<
appletree
Anyways
Seonghwa
We have only one idea, so I'm sorry if we disappoint you
everyonesfav
Okay whatever let's hear it
dumbjerk
Sup y'all whatcha talking about?
babyxion
Helping Seonghwa choose where to take his crush to a date
dumbjerk
WAIT WHAT
OMGEE
PARK SEONGHWA
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD A GIRLFRIEND
everyonesfav
That's cause I don't
dumbjerk
?
StrongToedOlaf
*crush
dumbjerk
Oh
OH
OMGEE
I FEEL LIKE SUCH A PROUD MOM
everyonesfav
But aren't you the mom of ONEUS
dumbjerk
WELL I'M THEIR MOM TOO
babyxion
Wait I'm confuzzled
StrongToedOlaf
Allow me to map y'all a genealogy
[I deeply apologize for my crappy handwriting :/]
Brain Dead 🧠
That's a family tree you dumbbutt
StrongToedOlaf
Says the one with the dead brain
Brain Dead 🧠
GONEHAK
You know what you got it wrong
Give it to me Keonhee
StrongToedOlaf
GONEDUCK GIVE ME BACK MY MARKER AND PAPER—
GONEHAK
There you go
I even fixed my name you got it wrong Keonhee 😤
StrongToedOlaf
I didn't
Shortwoong the Seedling
You didn't even cross out the big fat "Y"
Also whY AM I A SEEDLING
GONEHAK
Because you ARE one
Shortwoong the Seedling
Fook you
r00dboii
So Seoho is ATEEZ's grandma
Wow
everyonesfav
ANYWAY
@appletree what was your great idea?
appletree
Well because I don't want to seem like I plagiarized him, this is Shortwoong hyung's idea
Shortwoong the Seedling
STOP CALLING ME SHORTWOONG HYUNG
appletree
Anyway
His great idea
Was for you to take your crush out for bowling
GONEHAK
Wait what?
R00DSHORTIE
Seonghwa you finally have a girlfriend and you didn't tell me???
#betrayed
Brain Dead 🧠
Oh be quiet Hongjoong hyung
SANshine
Definitely jealous 🤪
Brain Dead 🧠
oH SHUT UP
appletree
Anyway
Seonghwa hyung do you think that's a great idea?
dumbjerk
Well he's not saying anything
Shortwoong the Seedling
What if he walked into a ditch or something?
GONEHAK
DID YOU JUST STEAL MY LINE—
Shortwoong the Seedling
Yes now shut up I am not in the best mood today
R00DSHORTIE
Nah
He just ran out of the room faster than I had ever seen him run in my entire life
It's kind of funny, really
appletree
So he just left without thanking us?
How r00d 😤
babyxion
Yeah
everyonesfav
GUYS I'M BACK THANKS FOR THAT MARVELLOUS IDEA SHE LOVES IT AND WE'RE HEADING THERE NOW
SORRY THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY KEYBOARD I'M TYPING IN ALL CAPS NOW
uwuyoung
I wish we could have cameras hidden around the bowling place and just spy on Seonghwa and his date from there
Shy Boy
Ew stalker
Don't make me kick you out of this group too
uwuyoung
WHY ARE YOU ALL SO MEAN TO ME 😫
Shortwoong the Seedling
I suffer more than you you brat
uwuyoung
TeddyBearYunho
So
I guess we're done now?
dumbjerk
No we still need to know how Seonghwa's date went
Brain Dead 🧠
If it was a disaster don't come @ me people
StrongToedOlaf
Why would we even blame you anyway
Brain Dead 🧠
Because y'all usually blame me
GONEHAK
Actually we usually just blame Shortwoong
Shortwoong the Seedling
oH STOP WITH THE NAME CALLING GONEDUCK
GONEHAK
YOU HYPOCRITE
dumbjerk
So what are we doing now
R00DSHORTIE
Nothing?
TeddyBearYunho
Okay since there's nothing for us to do I'm adding emojis to some of y'all's usernames (because we need more color)
Brain Dead 🧠
Why—
TeddyBearYunho changed his name to TeddyBearYunho 🧸
TeddyBearYunho 🧸 changed babyxion's name to babyxion 🍼
TeddyBearYunho 🧸 changed appletree's name to appletree 🍎
TeddyBearYunho 🧸 changed StrongToedOlaf's name to StrongToedOlaf ☃️
TeddyBearYunho 🧸 changed Shortwoong the Seedling's name to Shortwoong the 🌱
Shortwoong the 🌱
ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW—
TeddyBearYunho 🧸 changed SANshine's name to SANshine ☀️
TeddyBearYunho 🧸
Is that all?
dumbjerk
I guess so
GONEHAK
Is there an emoji that can tell you if someone's short
@R00DSHORTIE
R00DSHORTIE
BRUH—
appletree 🍎
I love the emojis the chat looks so much more colorful now
TeddyBearYunho 🧸
Right?
uwuyoung
I feel so bad for the author tho, having to switch keyboards to insert the emoji
Shortwoong the 🌱
I don't think there'll ever be a chapter where we don't demolish the fourth wall
Brain Dead 🧠
RIP Wall you will be missed 😔⚰️
everyonesfav
Thanks y'all
She loved it
R00DSHORTIE
DID Y'ALL KISS??
everyonesfav
Maybe?
babyxion 🍼
Awww that's cute ❤️
r00dboii
Wow this is new
Shy Boy
What is?
r00dboii
Xion being all uwu-y and all that
Usually he has a poker face on and is emotionless about anything and everything and the only thing he cares about is getting his hyungs roasted
TeddyBearYunho 🧸
Wait really? It doesn't seem like it
r00dboii
Have you not read the previous chats?
everyonesfav
Anyways she's my girlfriend now uwu and I thank y'all for making it happen ❤️
appletree 🍎
Aw no problem hyung ❤️
We are your squadron of wingmen
Shortwoong the 🌱
Yo people we should make that our new gc name
Brain Dead 🧠
Why do you always have the best ideas smh
Shortwoong the 🌱
The perks of being a seedling 😌
uwuyoung
So now that we're done can we close this chapter?
Shy Boy
STOP DESTROYING THE POOR FOURTH WALL
[also thanks for 100 followers uwu 🥰]