A/N: Boats.
"Whizzer, are you sure about this? What if we fall in," Marvin asks me, holding onto my arm nervously. I roll my eyes and shrug him off. Dejected, he drops his arm to his side and looks down, as if he were a little kid that had just been yelled at.
"You're not going to fall in. I've done this plenty of times, so just relax and sit down. I've got this." We've only been together for a month now, although Marvin continues to insist that it has been two. I don't fully trust him yet though. After all, he's still married with a child, and I'm hardly ready to be committed to a relationship, let alone with someone like him. This is one of our first real dates, which is only possible due to his wife taking their child to some sort of chess competition a few hours away. For a nine, almost ten year old, that kid must be smart. I wouldn't know, since he doesn't trust me enough to let me meet him. I guess as long as neither of us wants to open up, we'll be locked in a stalemate of some mistrust. But in any case, maybe this date will lead to the development of more feelings between us.
"I'm still worried. How long have you been a sailor exactly?" he questions shakily. He actually looks pretty scared. Funny, I've never seen him this worried before. For some reason, I want to comfort him, which is strange since I have never cared this much about any other partner before. Maybe he is the one. Slowly, I wrap my arms around him and place my head on the crook of his neck. Taken aback, he steps back, before relaxing and returning the embrace.
"It will be fine, and whether you believe me or not doesn't change that. Look, I'll make sure you don't fall in, and if you do, I'll save you. I've been doing this for a long time now. Ever since I was a kid. And I'm perfectly capable of protecting you," I say, kissing his cheek gently. I step back and hold his chin, forcing him to look me in the eyes. "You're safe with me."
Marvin takes a deep breath and nods, smiling what seems to be the most genuine smile I've ever seen from him. Expecting him to be ready to proceed, I turn around, but he rushes at me again, throwing his arms around my neck and simply holding me from behind. My heart starts racing as my brain stops working, and I stand rooted in place. It's not an unpleasant feeling, but it's definitely new. I think-I could be wrong, but I think this is what love feels like. I think I love this crazy, selfish, beautiful man. Though I don't approve of everything about him-like his hideous sense of style-I certainly love this.
Forcing myself to react, I lift my arms to hold his in place and lean back into his embrace. I close my eyes and let myself just be in the moment. After a while, which still feels way too short, we separate. I grab his hand and all but drag him to the boat, looking over my shoulder to flash a wide grin at him. He smiles back, though not nearly as excitedly, likely due to remaining nerves. Oh well. Releasing his hand (and almost immediately missing the warmth of it, though I would never admit that), I step onto the small sailboat I got last year. Meant to fit only one or two people, this beauty has never done me wrong, being the perfect option for a date night, and watching the sunset from the sea is one of my favourite things. Glancing up at the sky, I see that the sun is just about to make its descent past the buildings in the distance. Hurriedly, I nod at Marvin to join me, but he still seems hesitant. Maybe if I...
"Hey, Marvin. You can't seriously be afraid of a little boat?" I say in a mocking tone in an attempt to get him to man up and join me. He narrows his eyes and grits his teeth slightly. It's working. I just need a little more. "Aw, is Marvin afraid of a little water? Don't worry it won't bite." That's all I needed to get him to snap.
He rushes at me, successfully getting onto the boat. I let out a relieved sigh, but before I have much time to breathe, I notice that he's still advancing on me.
"M-Marvin?" I ask, my entire snobby demeanor fading as I see the level of pure rage in his eyes. I shrink down a bit, breathing shakily while I attempt to convince myself not to cry, out of fear that it would escalate the situation further. I'm not a person to let myself be scared, but right now I'm terrified.
I don't notice that I'm backing up until my foot hits the back of the boat. Worried but stubborn, I stand my ground, looking defiantly at Marvin. This, however, ends up being a very, very bad idea. He grabs me by the collar so aggressively that it feels like he punched me square in the chest. The buttons of my shirt dig into my chest, increasing the discomfort severely. I cough a little and gasp in pain, attempting to worm my way out of his grip. He yanks me forward, and I lower my head slightly in terror. He raises his hand, prepared to strike me, and I let out a strangled sound before closing my eyes and beginning to cry softly.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean it, I swear," I plead. I wince, bracing myself for the impact... which never comes. I crack one eye open and see Marvin staring at me and gaping, all of the anger gone from his features. He lets go of my collar, and I crumple to the floor, unable to bring myself to stand up. Bringing my legs to my chest to protect myself, I lay on the bottom of the boat, sobbing harshly as I fully process what just happened. I feel rather than see Marvin crouch down next to me. He hesitantly reaches out and places a hand in my hair, stroking it softly. I'm too tired to resist him, choosing to just lay there for a bit and stare at the setting sun. We haven't even left the dock yet.
"God, Whizzer. I am so sorry. I can't believe I almost did that... I could've hurt you," he says somberly, continuing to pet me as I attempt to respond.
"You say that as though you didn't. My chest fucking hurts, Marvin!" I croak, lifting my head and pushing myself to my feet. Despite my body's resistance to the movement, I walk over to the other end of the boat and untying it from the dock. "Even though you may have ruined part of this 'date,' we're still going to do what we came here to do," I say coldly. I don't wipe away the tears or try to cover it up. He deserves to feel guilty for his actions. It doesn't matter how much I love him. If he tries anything like this again, we're done.
As I guide the boat away from the dock, I stare off into the distance, refusing to make eye contact with my boyfriend. I sort of want him to come up to me and continue to apologize. Does that make me a bad person? But much to my dismay, he doesn't do that. He elects to give me space, or as much space as one can give while in a tiny boat, which may actually be a better idea in this instance. Once we get far enough into the water, I take a look at him again and see that he looks sort of pale, though I'm not sure if it's from guilt, nervousness, or seasickness. It very well may be a combination of those things. He sits towards the front of the boat, his arms wrapped loosely around his knees as he gazes across the water.
"Whizzer?" he says quietly. I make a sound to acknowledge him but don't actually reply. "I know that you're probably mad at me-" he is cut off as I scoff loudly, crossing my arms and rolling my eyes, causing him to sigh. "Very mad at me. But I really am sorry. I really love you, and-and it scares me because I've never felt this way for anyone before. Not even Trina. And I'm terrified that I'm gonna lose you. I just-I'll really try to control my anger, and I will never hurt you like this again. Please believe me," he finishes, dropping his head. Even though he's facing away from me, I can tell that he's being genuine.
Dropping my arms to the side, I walk over to him slowly and drop to my knees behind him. I sniffle a bit as I wrap my arms around him, pressing my cheek against his back and closing my eyes tightly.
"You had better keep your word. I-I do love you, and I don't say that lightly. I just need to know that I'll be safe around you, Marvin," I say holding him closely. He unwraps my arms from him, and I step back, fearful that I've said something wrong. My fears turn out to be unnecessary, as he turns around and places a gentle kiss on my lips. Almost on instinct, I wrap my arms around his waist and relax into it, and he holds my face in his hands. I feel him put a bit of force into it, so I lean back like I usually do. My eyes snap open as I remember that we are, in fact, on a boat. I try to push him away but he holds me in place for a little bit.
"Marvin!" I try to say, finally getting him to pull away.
"Wha-" he mutters, but it is too late. I feel the boat sway a bit too much, and I stumble a bit, falling backwards off the boat. I screech slightly, as I fall, holding onto Marvin's wrist in an attempt to steady myself, but alas, he simply falls along with me. There is a loud splash as the two of us careen into the water, one right after the other.
Gasping, I pull myself out of the water and grip the edge of the boat, rolling my eyes as Marvin flails around, panicked. Using my hold on his arm, I pull him closer to me and allow him to latch onto me. Laughing, I guide him to an area of the boat where he can pull himself up, which he does only after I do it and give him a hand to help him up. Laughing, I lie down on the boat with Marvin by my side. He looks over at me with a large smile, all of the past tensions gone. Cuddling up against his side, I turn my attention to the sky, which is now littered with stars. Soon we are settled into this position, and he calmly strokes my back. This peaceful situation, though somewhat unconventional for us, makes me truly happy, and although I can't quite forgive Marvin for hitting me like he did, I think that I'm willing to move past that for the sake of us.
Though this relationship can't be healthy for me, especially so long as he still has a wife and child to think about, I think I've found my soulmate, and I wouldn't trade him for the world.
So the inspiration for this was a connection my brain made between Falsettos and A New Brain through sailing, even though that's really random and we already know that the two are connected (literally both William Finn's semi autobiographical musicals). But my mind connected Roger & Whizzer, plus the whole song of I'd Rather Be Sailing along with the line "time I met a sailor" from Falsettos and yeah. Boats. Thanks to Teresa (IAmAWriTeresa) for keeping me sane. And I literally punched myself in the chest to see if it would be better or worse than being slapped, so that must've taken a lot of patience lmao.