Proposing Possibilities
"Marriage is a three ring circus: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering." -Anonymous
"What?"
"Oh, my!"
"When?"
"Really?"
"Is she pregnant?"
"NO!"
"Oh, thank God!"
"Hey!"
"Lily!"
"You, shut it!"
"Eek!"
"WHAT?" I repeated myself more forcefully the second time in case no one heard me. I turned in my chair to face James angrily.
He squirmed in his seat as he felt the glares of every person at the table staring at him. James twitched nervously and ran his fingers through his hair. "Uh, Lily and I are engaged," he repeated, though this time it sounded more like a question.
I looked over at everyone to try to gauge their reaction. My father looked speechless. He was still holding his wine glass, and he glanced down to make sure that it was still in his hand. I noticed that his forehead looked crinkly from all the lines that were forming in it. It looked like one of those wavy crisps.
Petunia's face morphed from dumbfounded to comprehension, to quizzical, to disbelief, and to disapproval. Right now, I was quite certain that she had settled on unbridled fury. Her blue eyes were full of malice as she stared at James like she was trying to kill him where he sat. If the way she was ripping her napkin in two was any inclination, James was not going to go peacefully. Good. Frankly, at the moment, I approved. I wondered if Tuney wanted any help.
She then turned and gazed at me. A little scared of the way her blue eyes narrowed into infinitesimal slits, I quickly moved my eyes to Vernon, who kept turning his head to stare at James and Petunia with a flabbergasted expression that even seemed to make his mustache seem surprised.
Mum, of course, was filled to the brim with excitement. The eagerness in her eyes was that of a child who had just been told that he could take any animal from the zoo home with him. And she wanted the lion. A slow smile formed at her lips that spread across her whole countenance until a hearty exclamation of congratulations finally erupted out of her mouth. "That's wonderful!" she squealed, breaking the silence.
The energy in the room changed immediately.
"Isn't that wonderful, Henry?" Mum prodded as she looked pointedly at my father.
He put down his glass and removed his glasses from his face before resting his hand against its temple. "It's unexpected," he managed to choked out after a beat.
"And to think, both of my girls married! Oh, Petunia, it looks like you're not the only special one here after all!"
Petunia's head zoomed towards Mum. "But, Mum! I'm still the one getting married!"
"Oh, but now your sister is, as well! Can you just imagine it? Lily and James Potter!" Mum cooed happily as she stood up from her table. She walked over and threw her arms around James. "Oh, I'm just so happy."
Petunia made a clicking noise with her tongue as she watched Mum with disdain.
I hid my face in my hands and waited for the nightmare to end. After a few seconds, I settled for kicking James roughly in the shin so at least he would remember to wake up.
"Thanks, Mrs. Evans," James yelped.
"Oh, James, dear, call me 'Mum,'" she said sweetly. "We're family now."
"Uh, April?" Dad interrupted Mum, who was reaching out to give James another hug. "I would like to hear the whole story first before I do any celebrating," he said dryly. He directed his stern glare at James. "Speak."
"Oh, yes, James, do tell us how it all happened," Mum urged.
"I'd rather not hear this," Petunia said stiffly.
"Hush, Petunia," Mum hissed.
"No," backpedaled James, "she's right. I don't want to intrude -"
Petunia scoffed loudly, and Vernon put his arm around her chair to comfort her.
"Oh, it's not an intrusion at all," Mum insisted blindly. "I've simply got to hear the story. How'd you propose, James? Was it terribly romantic?"
James laughed nervously. "What'd you say, Lily?"
I frowned. I was not going to indulge him. He dug himself in this hole, and I was just fine with him dying in it. "I don't seem to have any memory of it," I said, my voice sounding clipped. I crossed my arms across my chest and stared at my framed artwork from grade school across the room.
"Well, yeah, er," James stuttered as he fingered his hair, "that's because she's still in shock. Just happened."
"Really?" Mum asked. "Today?"
James nodded. "Yeah, um, this morning at breakfast."
"She's not wearing a ring," Petunia pointed out haughtily.
"You can't be really engaged without a ring," Vernon added smugly. "Couldn't afford one?"
"There was a ring," James said defensively. "I just needed to send it back to get sized. Lily's got bigger fingers than I thought," he joked lamely. "It should be ready tomorrow."
Bloody prick.
"That quickly?" Vernon observed.
"I move fast."
Dad made a strangled sound in the back of his throat.
"I mean, that is to say, that customer service is very high for such wizard products. Goblin made, see?" James added apologetically.
"Did you hide the ring in her drink?" Mum questioned in a dreamy voice.
"No," James said. "Much better than that."
Petunia hissed. I had forgotten to tell James how Vernon had proposed to Petunia. It was the fancy dinner, ring in the champagne glass deal. Oh Merlin, I was bloody going to kill James. Was he trying to burn every bridge between Petunia and me?
"Uh, well, you see," James said as he looked around the room, as though the answer would appear on the wallpaper. He tried to find my gaze, but I avoided him. "There was a rat."
"A rat!"
"Yes, and it was running across the Great Hall, and then there was a lion."
"I'm sorry," Vernon interrupted. "But do you attend a school or a circus?"
James gritted his teeth before plunging ahead with his tale. "And everyone around us was running around, and I turned to Lily, and I asked her to marry me."
Mum looked at me eagerly. "What'd you say, Lily?"
"Hell if I know," I replied back.
"She was shocked, obviously," James rushed to answer for me. "But then I got down on one knee, and she saw that I was serious. I took the box out of my pocket, opened it up, and showed her the ring. She said 'yes.' I put the ring on her finger, and then fireworks started going off."
"Indoors?" Petunia asked.
"The ceiling's enchanted to look like the sky," James answered.
Mum sighed. "Were there really fireworks, Lily?"
I bit down on my tongue. Damn him. "Yes." Then the lion came over and bit off his head like the pathetic, annoying, disgraceful, lying bastard that he was.
"This is all very sudden," Dad said in a weak voice.
You were telling me. Apparently, I was engaged. I looked over at my dad with sympathy. Merlin, I was right there with him.
"I know that this is all rather untoward, but Lily and I love each other," James replied as he kissed my cheek.
Forcing a smile on my face, I elbowed him in the ribs.
"For the most part," he coughed out.
"Oh, Lily, this is just the best news."
I looked at the sheer, unadulterated joy on my mother's face and then at the sadness that shone on Petunia's.
"The best," I echoed weakly.
"Oh, I can just picture a fall wedding for you two. It'll go lovely with your coloring, James. You have such tan skin. Lily could do with more sun. She's looking a bit peaky. I'll have to invite all the neighbors. We'll find a way to explain the wizard thing to them. Oh, but it'll be a gorgeous wedding. And Petunia will be your Maid of Honor, won't she, Lily? It's only fair that you are hers. Sisters must do these things, of course."
I gazed up at Petunia nervously. "Umm, Tuney, would you, well, you know?" I asked.
She finished her sip of water and put down her glass. Her face was unreadable. "I guess."
Relief flooded through me. Petunia was going to do it. For the wedding I was not having because I was not engaged. Blimey, James had better know his countercurses because I was going to send every hex known to Merlin, himself, at his sorry behind.
Mum grinned. "Oh, my two girls," she sang. "Aren't you happy, Henry?"
"Ecstatic."
I stood up suddenly.
"Lily, what's the matter?"
"I need to be excused," I said back robotically. "Is it okay if I have a word with James privately?"
"Oh, of course, anything for you, darling."
Oh, how fickle my mother could be. Now she noticed I was home.
"Right then," I said as I pushed my chair in and headed towards the kitchen. "James?"
He got up and followed me silently. Once we were in the kitchen, he grabbed my hand and opened his mouth to say something.
I put my hand over his mouth. "Outside," I hissed at him before throwing the door open to the backyard.
I followed him out and slammed the door behind me with a clang.
"What did you do?" I demanded in a deadly calm voice.
"Lily, I don't know what happened! I was there and then suddenly-"
"What did you do!" I asked again.
"Oh, Lily, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to!"
"James, did you take a bludger to the head again?"
"No."
"Get hit by a Confundus charm?"
"No."
"Well, then you must have been dropped on the head as a baby because there is no way that you just told my entire family that we are engaged!" I hissed.
"I don't know how it happened!"
"What do you mean you don't know how it happened?" I demanded.
"It just, I don't know. It just happened!"
"You said it, that's bloody how!" I yelled, peeved.
"But I didn't mean to," insisted James, "it just slipped out."
"Slipped out? That's not a slipped out kind of phrase, hun. 'I stole your comb,' that's a slipped out phrase. Telling my parents, my sister, and Vernon Dursley that we are engaged to be married is not something that just casually slips out of your mouth!"
"Well, it did."
"James! You told them we are getting married! You don't tell a girl's parents that before you even ask the girl!"
"Well, technically, you are supposed to ask permission," James countered.
"Well, who ruddy said that I wanted to marry you!"
James grabbed my hand and then got down on one knee. "Lily, would you-oww!" he hissed as he grabbed his shoulder.
"Don't do it now!"
"Too late?' he asked. "Or because you're so unbelievably pissed at me right now that you'll say 'no,' thus, sending me into such a sea of depression that I no longer care enough to feed myself and die."
"Both," I answered as I tried my hardest not to smile.
James sighed. "Lily, I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened."
"You acted like a huge git."
"Yes," he agreed. "I'm a very bad man."
"Boy," I corrected. "And I kind of hate you right now," I told him.
"I was provoked, Lily."
I sneered. "You couldn't handle the taunts of Vernon Dursley?"
"How was I to know that it wouldn't come to fisticuffs?" he asked. "If worse comes to worse, Lily, he might sit on me."
I swallowed my laughter. "And it'll be a happy day."
"Oh, c'mon, Lily. You're being a little hypocritical, aren't you?"
"How so?" I asked testily. "And choose your words carefully, Potter. I wouldn't want your last words to be grammatically incorrect."
He laughed nervously and pulled at his hair. "Well, you lied to them when we first started dating."
"Different," I retorted.
"Codswallop," he replied. "Exactly the same, plus or minus a few circumstances."
I opened my mouth to speak, but he continued hurriedly.
"Granted, there might be higher stakes involved this time around, but doesn't that just make it more fun?"
"You have a sick sense of fun."
"Aww, c'mon, Lily, can't we write this off as a funny anecdote for the grandkids?"
"That's assuming you can still have children when I'm done hexing you."
James casually back up towards the swings as he tried to subtly reach for his wand. "Work with me here, Lils."
"The beginning of our relationship probably isn't the best angle to use, Potter. I seem to recall it went rather badly."
"You had to do all those sexual favors to get me to regain your trust. Is that what you'd like, Lily? Sexual favors? Because I would be more than happy-"
"James, why would you do this?" I asked with a sigh. "I'm not that girl anymore who lied to you and betrayed your trust. I'm different. I'm your girlfriend. Everything was different. We were in such a good place! Everything was going so well."
"It's just a tiny step forward," he said. "It won't shake us up."
"It's another lie!"
"It's a proposal."
"Yes, James, it's a proposal," I said. "It's supposed to be romantic and memorable and beautiful and most of all, it's actually supposed to happen! Merlin, God, damn, I just don't-" I stopped talking as I sank into the swing in front of me.
"Oh, Merlin, Lily," James whispered, sounding genuinely upset, as he sat down onto the swing beside me. "I didn't mean to ruin this for you."
I sniffed. I was never the type to daydream about the perfect bloke. James had just kind of found me. He was the annoying berk who would not leave me alone till eventually I caved, broke his heart, and then begged for him back. I was lucky, I supposed. Still, every girl deserved a proposal. The bloke was supposed to plan it, sweat it out, and get down on one knee. I wanted that. I wanted the whole experience. I wanted the stupid fireworks roaring in the background. What I didn't want was an awkward dinner conversation and one royally brassed off sister.
"It's just that a proposal is an important thing," I said. "It's a meaningful step. You don't just gloss over it like it's a huge big joke for Vernon Dursley."
"Now you know how I felt last summer," James sighed. "All that time of dreaming about how I'd convince you to go out with me, and you just completely skipped over it."
Merlin, it was too easy to forget about James's six years of pining for me. He had been so obnoxious that I had tuned him out. I dropped my head into my hands. "Like that really helps."
"Oh, Lily, don't be sad," James pleaded. "I'm so sorry. I'll do whatever I can to fix this. We'll be engaged. You can have all the romance you want. It'll be the perfect wedding."
I could not imagine it. I was not getting married until I was at least 25. I had seen films about girls who had gotten married right after high school. They never got to fulfill their dreams because they were too busying folding the laundry and taking care of the eight kids. I would not let that happen to me. I was going to be an Auror.
"Are you kidding me, James? We're eighteen years old! I'm not marrying you!"
"Lily!"
"We've been dating for less than a year, James."
"But we love each other."
"Speak for yourself."
"Lily," he groaned.
"It's marriage," I argued. "We don't even have jobs. We still live with our parents. Hell, we just got out of school today."
"I have money," he insisted.
"Your parents' money," I corrected. "James, getting married would be ridiculous."
"Fine," he said curtly. "Then we'll march inside right now and tell them that it was all a huge misunderstanding. Just a friendly joke to get Vernon a little hot under the collar."
"We can't do that," I said. "Not after all the story telling you just performed."
"Damn, you're right. Vermin will never let me forget it."
"Nor Tuney," I agreed. "And Mum seemed so happy."
"I was pretty sure that if we stayed there any longer, your father was going to punch me in the nose."
"Rightfully so," I remarked before sighing. "I don't know where this leaves us."
"The backyard," he stated robotically.
I hit him on the shoulder. "I hate you," I repeated.
He nursed his shoulder and laughed loudly. "No, you don't. If you did, you would have chucked my bum ages ago."
"Well, I don't particularly like you, yeah?"
"Lily, darling," James cooed as he swung his arm over my shoulder, "we're engaged."
I frowned. "You are too hasty," I told him, shrugging his arm away. "I didn't say I'd marry you. I'm still hoping Benjy Fenwick breaks up with that slag of his and takes me to Diagon Alley like he promised."
"Hey! Danica is really nice. She's a hell of a beater, too."
"Our love is tragic," I told him solemnly.
James sighed in exasperation and got off his swing. Grunting, he got down on one knee and stole my hand. "So bloody difficult," he huffed as he encased my hand between his own.
I was frozen. I could literally hear the second hand on his watch tick as I waited for him to speak. My heart raced in my chest. All the blood rushed to my face and stilled there. Oh, Merlin. Oh, Merlin. Oh, Merlin.
"Lily Evans, will you do me the honor of pretending to be my fiancée?"
It took me a few seconds to decipher what he had just said. "You want to fake an engagement?" I asked finally as all of my blood, which had stopped moving as he began to speak, started to flow through my veins once more.
He let go of my hand and stood up. "Well, you said it before. I've mussed things up too much for this to be a real engagement. Apparently, I didn't meet the Evans Gold Standard."
"And," I added for him.
"And we're only eighteen."
"And."
"And we've only been dating for ten months."
"And."
"And apparently you're just biding your time with me until you get to date Benjy Fenwick, whom I am going to murder, by the way, the next time I see him."
I rolled my eyes.
"And we are both far too prickish to march back in there and embarrass ourselves in front of Petunia and Vermin," he continued.
"Some of us are prickish, and some of us are just innocent bystanders," I corrected him.
"We can't exactly just pretend this never happened," finished James, who ignored my interruption.
"Let me get this straight," I said, trying to process it in my mind, "we fake the engagement and then, what? Eventually, these things do lead to marriage, Potter, and I don't fancy walking down the aisle with you on the other side, Sirius, the great buffoon, standing next to you, no doubt."
James scratched the back of his head. "We'll just make it a long engagement," he said with a shrug. "Loads of people stay engaged for years. We can worry about this later. We just need to focus on keeping this up for the next week while I'm here. Once your sister's wedding over, this whole thing will seem like old news."
I bit my lip anxiously. "I don't like this."
He laughed good-naturedly. "And you think I do? As soon as this wedding's over, I'm breaking this whole thing off. Benjy Fenwick, my ass."
I sighed. "No dramatics, Potter," I warned him.
He held up his hands innocently.
I narrowed my eyes at him. "I know you," I warned. "Whatever you're planning, stop it now. This is not going to turn into some big, romantic gesture. This is just a practical solution to a ridiculous mistake."
"Who else are you going to marry?" he asked. "And if you say Benjy Fenwick, I know some hexes, too."
I rolled my eyes. "You are insufferable," I told him.
"It's like music to my ears, love," he teased. "So, what'd you say?" he pressed.
I sighed. "Fine," I hissed, crossing my arms across my chest.
Smiling unabashedly, James rushed over to me, leaned down, and kissed me. "Lily Potter," he breathed over my face.
I pushed him away. "Fake engagement!" I reminded him. "Eighteen! Ten months!"
"Sorry," he apologized as he tried unsuccessfully to rearrange his features into a more somber expression. "Won't happen again."
The git didn't even have the decency to stop beaming.
Before retreating to our separate rooms, James and I had set up a few ground rules. I had strictly forbidden him from telling Sirius or any of our other friends about our arrangement. And no, I was not suffering from commitment issues, like last time, as James was kind enough to suggest. Just because he was as stupid as a flobberworm did not mean that he got to broadcast it to the rest of the world. This was going to stay between us and the rest of the Evans household.
Secondly, he was not allowed to make any further announcements about our alleged wedding. I had an overly zealous mother who was already wet with delight. I did not need James filling her head with images of fall weddings and bridesmaid dresses. She might just explode.
Finally, he could, under no circumstances, refer to me as "Lily Potter." My name was Lily Evans. He could take his chauvinist name-changing crap and shove it up his bum.
Yet, no matter how many rules I imposed on him, the whole affair still made me feel queasy as I snuck into my bedroom, carefully as to avoid any unwanted communication with my family. This whole plan had foreboding written all over it in huge neon letters and dancing veela. This was not a good idea. This was not a good idea.
I'd still rather do it than tell Tuney I wasn't really engaged.
Damn my pride. It really was one of the Seven Deadliest Sins. Right up there with lust. At least it was in my power to deny James something.
With that pleasant thought, I fell asleep.
When I woke up the next morning, I felt exhausted. Plotting and scheming really did nothing for my R.E.M. cycle. Listlessly, I pulled at my pillow as I attempted to steal a few more minutes of sleep. It didn't work.
Groaning to myself, I squashed my pillow over my face. My hands touched, and I felt something hard on one of my fingers. I stretched my fingertips out to feel what it was. Merlin, you had got to be kidding me.
I sat up and threw the pillow away as I stared at the diamond on my left ring finger.
"Bloody hell."
Not caring what I looked like or whether or not my mouth had become a habitat for grindylows, I raced down the stairs. He was sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper and drinking coffee.
"What the bloody hell is this?" I asked furiously.
His eyes left the Sports section briefly to look at me. "Good morning, Lily."
"What the bloody hell is this?" I repeated myself, shoving my left hand in his face.
Tiredly, James ruffled the back of his hair and folded the paper. "It's a ring," he answered calmly.
I seethed. "I know what it is," I huffed.
"Then why did you ask-"
"What is it doing on my finger?" I demanded.
He smirked. "It doesn't do anything, Lily. It's an inanimate object."
I hit him in the chest. "You insufferable, deplorable berk!"
"Hey! Hey!" he surrendered after the fourth time I hit him. "You didn't say anything last night about rings. Technically, I'm still working well within the rules. Besides, I told your mum that you'd have a ring on your finger today. You wouldn't want to make me a liar, would you?"
I ground my teeth together.
"Explain now," I commanded.
James gulped nervously. He looked like a two year old who just got caught coloring on the newly painted white kitchen walls. "Now before you get out your wand and do anything unforgiveable, I didn't spend any money, I promise," he assured me quickly.
I sighed. It was a small comfort to know that his Gringotts vault hadn't suffered any damage.
Honestly, if he was going to buy me something, I didn't want it to be something as silly as a ring. If he had really wanted to shell out a few galleons, nothing said I want you to want to be my fake wife like a good book. Hell, maybe if he bought me Flourish and Botts, I'd forgive him. James looked a whole lot more agreeable sitting on top of all of those books. I could even use it for charity by finally teaching Sirius how to read. I was 99 percent certain that he got through all seven years at Hogwarts by just looking at the pictures.
"I had to go home anyway to get some clothes," James prattled on. "So it's not even that big of a deal."
"Huh?"
"The ring. I know it's been in my family for ages, but I highly doubt my great great great great great great aunt Chartreuse would have cared. I heard she was more of a cat lover anyway. My grandpa said she was a crazy bird. That's what you get when you're friends with Helga Hufflepuff, I suppose."
Dear Merlin, I was wearing a Potter family heirloom as old as the founders. Somebody just Avada Kedavra me already.
"James!" I exclaimed.
"Only messing with you, Lily," he said with a grin. "Merlin, you're gullible. Like the Potters were friends with Hufflepuffs. It goes back three generations, I swear."
I was going to need a potion to remove my tongue from my esophagus. Three generations was still much more legacy than I desired. The oldest thing I owned was my one pair of jeans from second year that I might still be able to wear as capris if it wasn't for all the damn pie I ate. Moving up a few sizes never tasted so good.
"James, I'm not sure about this," I said as I fingered the ring on my left hand.
"Do you like it at least?"
I shrugged. "What's not to like? Diamond, yay," I cheered unenthusiastically.
"Did you even look at it longer than the half a second to determine that it's expensive?" he asked knowingly.
It was times like these when I seriously debated trading James in for a younger, less bloody perceptive, model. Ruddy bloke was like a Lily encyclopedia. If I wasn't positive that he was crap at Divination, I'd call him a Seer.
Reluctantly, I lifted my left hand and looked at the ring. The band was silver.
"White gold," James, the omniscient, corrected me.
It was encrusted with tiny diamond chips that seemed to sparkle a bit too brightly to be normal. In the center rested a large diamond. It, too, mocked me with its shininess.
"Princess cut. Five carats. It's goblin-made. That explains why the diamond is a bit brighter than you normally see. The diamonds around the band are, as well. Gives the whole thing a very stunning effect."
"Yes," I agreed, "very."
"So do you like it?" James pressed.
I did. I really did. It was stunning and extravagant and all the things that did not belong in the Evans household or on my finger. I started to tug it off my finger, but the damn thing fit so well that I had to wiggle it furiously to get it to move. "I can't accept this," I said as I finally managed to get it off.
James looked at me with sad eyes underneath his spectacles. "Lily, it's just a ring."
"James, it's obviously very important, and I don't think you should give something like this away on a fake engagement. You should save it for when you really ask a girl to marry you."
"Shut up, Lily," James said as he grabbed the ring from me. "If I want it back to propose to a real candidate, I know where you live. I'm just keeping it warm till Benjy Fenwick realizes I'm the only bloke for him."
He slid it back onto my finger. "There," he said triumphantly.
"My finger feels heavy," I complained.
"You'll live," he assured me.
"You're enjoying this far too much."
He smirked. "The fifteen year old boy inside me is very pleased."
I rolled my eyes and ambled over to the cabinet in search of sustenance. I eyed the cabinet's contents with disdain. "There's nothing good to eat," I whined loudly to the kitchen.
"I always know when Lily's home," Mum said as she entered the kitchen from the hallway. "The house suddenly becomes five times louder."
"Mum, there's no food in the house."
"Lily, you're staring at a whole cabinet filled with food."
"With Tuney's gross soy protein shake mixes and Daddy's bran muffins. Where'd all the good food go?"
Mum sighed. "If you stop whining like a toddler and eat something, I'll go food shopping this afternoon."
"Deal," I agreed with a grin. I grabbed the nearest box of cereal and then poured it into a bowl. I poured myself a glass of orange juice and then sat down at the table.
"No milk?" James asked.
I shrugged as I picked up a bit of cereal and popped it into my mouth. "Not necessary."
James winked at the word, and I blushed, despite myself.
Mum sat down beside James with a steaming mug of coffee. She inhaled sweetly before taking a sip. "Lily, you really should put milk in that."
I popped another piece into my mouth, and Mum watched my left hand with wide eyes. "Mary, Mother of God!" she breathed.
I looked around self-consciously. "What?" I asked, my mouth filled with half-chewed cereal.
Mum squealed and rushed over to me, yanking my left hand into her grasp.
Bloody hell woman, I wanted to use that arm someday. It was no use to me ripped out of its socket.
"It's so beautiful," Mum cooed.
Oh, she'd noticed the ring of death.
"It's all right," I conceded, throwing James a dirty look.
Mum chortled. "I'd say so," she remarked appreciatively. Not letting go of my hand, she turned to my idiotic boyfriend. "Oh, James, tell me how you proposed again."
"He backmailed me into it," I said sardonically.
"Hush, Lily," Mum shushed.
"Well, we were in the Great Hall," James began.
I stopped listening. Really, you heard one fake engagement story, you heard them all. I left the happy couple in the kitchen and went upstairs. I ran into Petunia outside the bathroom."Hey," I greeted her abruptly.
"Hi."
I eyed her cleanly pressed white linen blouse and buttercup yellow skirt. "Going somewhere?"
"Brunch with Vernon's parents," she answered briskly.
"Oh, that sounds nice," I said awkwardly as I brushed a bit of hair away from my face.
Petunia's lips pursed tightly and her eyes narrowed a smidgen when she saw the ring on my fourth finger, but she said nothing about it.
"Yes. We have a lot to prepare for Sunday."
I tried to smile. "I'd bet. Planning a wedding. Yikes!"
"You'll find out soon enough, I suppose," she replied back sourly. "I should get going."
"Right, yeah, have fun, Tuney."
She nodded and then walked away.
"Hey!" I called out as she was going down the stairs. "Do you have any more shampoo? Mine's run out."
"No," she told me. "Later."
"Yeah, bye."
Once she had left, I snuck into Petunia's room and opened up her vanity mirror to look for her toiletries. Sure enough, right next to her hairspray there was a nearly full bottle of shampoo. Muttering to myself, I grabbed it and then turned to leave.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed something that looked distinctly out of place sticking out of her desk. Curious, I walked over and pulled it out of the drawer it was stuck inside. A bit of parchment fell out. Inside the drawer, there were about ten more. They were my letters from the past school year. Petunia had kept them.
Petunia's shampoo smelled all wrong. Vanilla was too rich of a smell for the summer. It made me feel suffocated by its pungent fumes. Nevertheless, I figured that clean hair was better than dirty hair. It still didn't stop me from yelling down the stairs to remind Mum to buy me shampoo before she left for the store.
Deciding to let James amuse himself by brainstorming for new fun anecdotes to satisfy his real lover, my 54 year old mother, I got dressed into shorts and a t-shirt and applied the usual coats of mascara.
I had begun to unpack my trunk when I heard a soft knock at my window.
"Callie!"
I dropped my old Potions essay, which I received an O for, thank you very much, you creepy, pervy Slughorn, and raced to the window. "Hey, girl," I greeted her as she flew into my room.
I stroked the dark feathers of her wings and then tickled the white of her belly, which caused her to hoot softly. "I missed you," I told her. "I had to bring your cage home empty. Where'd you go for so long? Did someone special send me a letter?"
Calypso hooted and held out her leg. Two letters were wrapped around it. I retrieved them excitedly. "Merlin, Callie, you've had quite an adventure. Poor girl, you must be dead on your feet, er, talons," I amended.
Callie hooted.
"At least someone around here gets my jokes," I laughed as I filled up her food dish and then placed a mice-flavored treat on top. Callie quickly flew over to the food, my quirky quips forgotten, and I turned my attention to the letters.
I ignored the bright pink one, already guessing its sender, in favor of the thinner letter with the fancy seal.
Hastily, I tore it open.
Dear Miss Lily Evans,
Please note that your presence is required on Wednesday, June 4th at the Auror Office in the Ministry of Magic at 5:00 P.M. There will be a mandatory meeting for all prospective Auror candidates. We shall be discussing prerequisites for the upcoming program. Please arrive promptly. If you have any questions, please send your queries by owl. Again, congratulations for being accepted into the Auror Program.
Yours,
Alastor Moody
I read through the letter twice to memorize its contents. I only had one day before my first official meeting with my future employers. What did one wear as an Auror? Damn, I'd have to ask James.
I picked up the other envelope and flipped it open.
Lily!
Ahh! Best friend! Where are you? I didn't see you this morning at breakfast, bitching and moaning and being all around unpleasant. Nor did I see you last night with your nose in a book or sneaking off somewhere to snog that boyfriend of yours (that's why Sirius and I just do it in the open. That way we still get to spend time with the rest of you lot so you don't miss us. You should be happy about it. We get to see each other more often.)
Life at home is pretty much the same. Mum wants me to put my wand down and help her with dinner. Dad wants me to pick it back up again and summon the remote control for him. Tyler's the same menace, as usual. At least he has braces now. Merlin, it was nice to chew gum in front of him. Though, I did accidentally get a bit in my hair when I blew too big of a bubble (don't worry! The mane is safe! Good ol' Droobles knows his stuff. I got it out, no problem. Then I promptly silecncioed Tyler to get him to stop laughing. Mum was not pleased.).
I'm a bit bored, to be honest. Sirius is sorting out things with his new flat in London. I'm going over there later. I bought him a plant. Is that the proper girlfriend house-warming present? They don't exactly make etiquette books for your roguishly handsome boyfriend who's been estranged from his family and just got a bunch of money from his Uncle Alphard. Merlin, my life is complicated. You're lucky you've got James. At least he doesn't cause problems.
Speaking of Jamesie-poo. Lily, darling, stop teasing the poor boy about Benjy Fenwick. He's the awfully jealous sort. Gryffindor pride and all that jazz. Bloke spent so long trying to go out with you, sometimes I think he forgets that he's actually dating you and doesn't need to work so hard. Besides, I know you. Unless the bloke has a head of scruffy black hair, amazing Chaser abilities, and answers to "James," you barely notice he's alive. Don't even try to argue with me! You and James are like an old married couple.
Anyways, I should be off. I hope to be hearing from my Prophet bosses soon to get my first assignment. Tomorrow, I'm taking the picture for my byline when I go into the office to meet my new coworkers. What do you reckon? Classy, intellectual or playful, sex kitten? Ehh, they're moving pictures. I'll do both.
Love you, Lils! Say hello to Vernon for me!
Wishing I had a taco,
Hestia, xoxo
P.S. One night with me, and they'll be calling you Moaning Myrtle (I'm Sirius Black's girlfriend). Oh, come on, Lils, you chuckled. I know you did. Sitting there trying to put on a straight face when really you're a chuckling fool. Love you! – H
I rolled my eyes as I put down the letter. Merlin, she was positively bonkers.
I quickly scratched out a reply to Hestia that might or might not have contained a reference to whomping someone's willow, sent it off with Callie with an apology and a promise for more owl treats, and then trotted downstairs.
James was waiting at the kitchen table with his nose in the paper.
"Déjà vu," I muttered.
He put down the sports section, which wrinkled loudly. "Different paper," he told me.
"What's the difference?" I asked.
"These pictures don't move. I'm confused about this football rubbish. Now exactly why aren't you allowed to use your hands? That seems rather foolish."
I sighed. Bullocks. "James, please don't expect me to explain the intricacies of muggle sports to you. Dad will be home later. You two can giggle about balls later."
He grinned. "As much fun as that sounds, I don't think your father is too happy with me right now."
I snorted. Understatement. Or maybe Dad loved James, and when he came home, we'd all join hands, and I'd exchange friendship bracelets with Vernon. His could be the whale, and mine would be Jonah. The only person to get shoved out the airhole. That sounded weird. Hunger made me crazy.
I strode over to the refrigerator. "Of course Dad's peeved," I said, "you're stealing his favorite flower."
"What about deflower?" James asked, the picture of innocence except for the way his eyes glinted behind his glasses.
"Turkey or tuna?" I asked, ignoring him.
"Tuna," he answered.
"I want turkey too," I replied, taking it out.
We chewed our sandwiches between bickerings, and then James put away the dishes. When Mum came home with the groceries, we helped her get them from the car and unpack them.
I'd like to think that my mum bought so much food that we had to make sixteen trips back and forth for my benefit, but I knew better. At least Petunia and I didn't have to waste any more time squabbling over who the favorite child was. The Prodigal Son had returned.
I was sitting on the couch watching some silly comedy on television with James when Mum called my name.
"Can you come help me in the kitchen?"
I sighed as I stopped tracing lines on James's arm. "I think that means I have to go," I told James, rising up off his chest, placing my hands on his thighs, and turning around in his lap to face him.
He nestled his head into my shoulder and wrapped his arms around my torso. "Come back soon."
Picking up the pillow that had been resting on my legs, I gingerly got up from his lap before I laughed at the sight of him lounging on the pillows. "Don't get too comfortable. I still expect you to be up bright and early tomorrow for that bloody awful exercise routine."
"Lily, you'll make me think you're only with me for my body."
"Could you not talk? You're less attractive when you open your mouth."
"Well, I bet-"
"Lily!" Mum called.
"Be good," I told James, throwing the pillow at him.
"Aren't I always?" he said, catching it before it hit his face.
Rolling my eyes, I walked into the kitchen and plopped down at one of the seats around the table. "What's up, Mum?"
She heaved a huge plastic bag onto the table. "Wedding favors is what is up," Mum answered.
I groaned. "Aww, Mum, do I have to? Shouldn't Petunia be doing this? I mean, it is her wedding. I'm just the sister."
"Well, just the sister, you also happen to be the Maid of Honor," Mum reminded me.
"Only because you forced Tuney into it."
"I did not force your sister," she defended. "I merely reminded her that a sister is the best friend a person will ever have and that your relationship will never fade even when time does."
"That was kind of beautiful, Mum. Read any sappy books lately?"
"Greeting cards," she admitted with a snort. "But it's still true."
"Sure," I answered. "And I'm sure Petunia felt just as guilty as I do now."
"If not more so," Mum replied gleefully. "Which is why she will be your Maid of Honor and be spending tedious hours making favors for your wedding."
There were so many things wrong with that sentence. I settled for rebuking the easiest to explain. "Hours?" I asked.
Mum pulled out the model of the favor. It was a bag of chocolate hearts, tied up with curled ribbon, with a tag around it that read "Vernon and Petunia Dursley 1977." "Hours," she said. "We've got to make about 250 of those."
"But there's only going to be about 120 people at the wedding!"
"We need extras," Mum insisted. "You have to keep these things for sentimental reasons, Lily. Plus, a few will, no doubt, get lost, or someone will take more than one. You will probably sneak off at some point and eat about six bags yourself. We need at least 250."
I groaned and hit my head on the table. "Kill me now," I declared.
"Finish these favors, and then we'll negotiate," Mum told me.
"Funny," I commented.
"Well, I read the cards in the humor section, as well."
Making the favors was just as tedious as Mum had promised. Only ten chocolate hearts were allowed to be in each bag, and exactly five had to be white chocolate while the other five had to be milk chocolate. The damn curling ribbon would not curl, and I kept accidentally cutting it with my pair of scissors. Mum didn't have that problem because she could just do it with her nails. Unfortunately, my nails were too short to be that productive.
I flipped over what seemed like the billionth tag. "I can't believe Tuney is actually marrying him," I said.
Mum sighed. "I know that you don't really like Vernon, Lily, but for Petunia's sake, please try to get along with him. He's a very polite young man, and he means well. He may have been raised differently from how your father and I raised you, but he loves your sister very much. That's really all that matters."
"But he's so Vernon Dursley," I complained.
"And you're so Lily Evans," she countered, mimicking my outraged tone.
"Aww, c'mon, Mum! You know what I mean. They're so weird together." Not to mention, he was a whale. "It's like fish and chips."
"Lily, you just watch it. You wouldn't want Petunia saying these sorts of things about your fiancé."
"Well that's because James and I aren't-" I covered my mouth with my hand, dropping my scissors in the process. Damn my brain.
"You and James aren't what, sweetie?"
"We aren't awkward together," I invented.
"Vernon just lacks James's easy demeanor," Mum cooed. "But that doesn't make him a bad bloke."
"No," I conceded. "I suppose not."
"Try to be happy for her, Lily. Not everything is as easy for Petunia as you think it is."
"I'm happy!" I argued as I shook a bag of chocolates in her face. "Would an unhappy person be making wedding favors for two hours straight?"
Mum just sighed and shook her head.
"It's Tuney's who got the problem with me," I continued. "She hasn't bloody talked to me at all since I came home. She didn't even give me a hug, or anything. Merlin, she's mad because I didn't come home for Christmas, and then she doesn't even care when I do come home. There's just no way to win!"
Mum chuckled.
"What?" I asked indignantly.
"Nothing. It's just that whenever I talk to either of you, the only thing you want to talk about is your sister."
"Done," I announced as I finished attaching my final card. "Do you reckon if they noticed if I changed it to Vermin?"
Mum tossed the plastic bag in my face. "Put these away with the rest of the wedding things in the upstairs closet and then come back down and set the table."
"I'm like your slave."
"That's why I had two wonderful daughters."
"Well, why isn't the other one working?" I piled the favors together and then started sweeping them into the bag.
"She promised to be home soon," Mum answered. "She's busy. Let the girl have some fun. She's been so stressed lately. Besides, she helps me all year long. I've only got you for the summers. You've got to do extra chores to catch up."
"Joy," I sighed as I swung the bag over my shoulder.
Dinner passed by without any major altercations. Dad seemed tired; apparently, he was putting in extra hours so that he could have Thursday and Friday off to help prepare for the wedding. He got to work an hour earlier and didn't break for lunch. He eagerly ate his pot roast and then demolished his green bean casserole and baked potato. James ate with just as much enthusiasm, but that was just James.
Petunia just picked at her food without saying much. Vernon did not join us. He was out with his parents. Mum tried to carry on a conversation the best she could, but there was only so much talking about a wedding I could stand. I understood why Dad was fed up with it all.
Merlin, I hoped my wedding never caused such family pain. Not that I was thinking about my wedding.
I fingered the ring around my finger nervously. When Dad had inspected it earlier to soothe my mother's incessant urgings, his face had paled a bit. He was drinking wine with dinner tonight.
After the last dish had been cleared, I trotted up to my room to go see if Calypso had returned yet.
Petunia was waiting for me outside my door. "You took my shampoo," she accused.
"What? No I didn't!" I lied badly as I tried to seem properly outraged by her claim.
"Yes, you did," she continued as she held the bottle up to my face. "I just found it in the shower."
"Maybe you left it there," I replied, "and just forgot about it."
"You took it."
"Why me? Maybe it was someone else. You should really check your facts before you get all confrontational."
"Because you asked me about it earlier," she pointed out obviously. "Don't play dumb, Lily, I know you did it."
I broke. "So? It's just shampoo."
"I explicitly told you that I didn't want you to have it."
"Well, that's just stupid. I needed shampoo. There was no shampoo. You had shampoo. You should have just let me borrowed it in the first place."
"I don't like it when you touch my things," Petunia insisted. "And you're not supposed to go into my room when I'm not home."
"Relax, Tuney. It's just shampoo. It costs, what, two pounds? I'll pay you for the two ounces I used if it means that much to you."
"That's not the point!" Petunia hissed. "I don't like it when you touch my stuff. You never take care of it. You just leave it around. That's why I never let you borrow anything."
"You take my stuff all the time with asking," I said, pointing out her hypocrisy. "You barge into my room whenever you want to."
"That's because I actually know how to treat other people's belongings."
"Petunia, it's just shampoo. Crappy shampoo, too. Vanilla is such a boring scent."
"Stop taking my stuff, Lily!" Petunia shrieked. "It doesn't belong to you! God, can't you just let me have one thing? Why do you have to take everything away from me? Can't you care about someone else's feelings besides your own for once in your life? God, you're such a bitch!"
She was not looking at the shampoo bottle, bur, rather, her eyes were focused on the ring residing on my finger.
"Petunia-"
"No, Lily. Just, get lost. I wish you would have just stayed there. You just muck everything up."
Anger burned within me. "Fine," I screamed as I entered my room and slammed the door behind me.
About an hour later, when I had finally cooled to the point that I was a lukewarm chicken sandwich and not spicy hot wings, I went back downstairs. Dad was sitting on his arm chair in the living room as a game played in the background. He picked up the remote and turned it off.
"Lily," he sighed as he pulled off his glasses and rubbed his temples.
"Hi, Daddy," I greeted him meekly as I sat down on the couch and faced him.
"Again?" he asked tiredly, putting his glasses back on. "You two are too old for this. I could hear you screaming the other side of the house. Then your sister came down in a huff, left, leaving your mother in hysterics."
"Sorry," I muttered.
"You should be," he admonished as he gazed down at me underneath his glasses. "I know that you have a quick temper, but it's no excuse. You have to watch what you say. Your sister is a grown woman. You can't just steal her stuff and then have a shouting match about it."
"But it wasn't even my fault," I complained.
"I know, Lils, but how many things are never your fault? At some point you need to stop taking the bait and stop goading her. You need to be more sensitive to your sister's feelings. She's not like you."
I knew that. Trust me, I knew.
"This wedding is very important to her. It's her wedding, and hopefully, it'll be the only one my bank account has to worry about-for her, at least," he added.
I winced as the ring on my finger began to feel heavier and heavier.
"I try, Dad."
"I know you do. Just try a bit harder, yeah? It's hard for her. She'll never admit it, but she misses you. It's no fun to be stuck alone with your parents all year. Plus, she had to do a whole bunch of things without you. Christmas, her birthday, the engagement, wedding dress shopping. Not to mention, you kind of stole her thunder with your big announcement."
"I didn't mean to," I apologized meekly.
"People rarely mean half the things they do, baby girl. Be nicer to your sister."
"Yes, Dad."
"Good," he said with a sigh. "Because when you're not, she complains to your mother, and then your mother complains to me. And I really don't want to hear it."
I laughed. "Good night, Daddy."
"Good night, baby girl."
I got up and started walking into the kitchen.
"Oh, and Lily?"
I turned around and stared at him expectantly.
"Nice ring."
"Thanks, Dad."
"You're going to be the death of me," I told James later that night at the swings.
He laughed, and I felt the vibrations as he continued to kiss my throat. "And why is that?"
"With one bonehead move you have managed to ostracize me from my entire family. Nice work."
"I try," he replied, moving up to my ear.
I pushed him away. "James, I'm really not loving our plan. Tuney's beyond pissed at me. Even Dad seems apprehensive. Maybe we should just give ourselves up."
"Your mum doesn't seem too upset," he observed.
"She doesn't count," I told him dryly.
"Do you think that would fix things?" he asked.
"No," I admitted reluctantly. "I think my family life is always going to be messed up."
"So why don't we just enjoy ourselves while we can?" James asked as he went back to kissing me right above my collar bone.
His lips were soft as he lightly brushed them over my skin. Involuntarily, I tilted my head to give him better access. Everywhere his lips touched burned.
His hands roamed up my sides before slipping underneath my t-shirt and resting on my hips. My eyes were about to close, when his teeth nipped my collar bone.
"James!"
"What were you saying?" he asked innocently.
I shook my head and traced my hand through his hair. He took my hand in his and let his thumb glide over the ring.
"It's a pretty ring," I commented.
"It's a very pretty ring," he agreed.
Story credits to Molly Raesly