Chatroom | ateez & oneus

By moonglowz

27.9K 1.4K 6K

❝y'all batches❞ » in which oneus make a group chat for themselves, but then made the dumb decision to add ate... More

Chatroom
00 ☺ The Beginnings of a Chaotic Problem
01 ☺ How Mothers Discipline Their Kids
02 ☺ The Sleepover in Hell
03 ☺ Sneaking Into School After Midnight
04 ☺ Dealing With A 'Stalker'
05 ☺ Apologizing to Jongho
06 ☺ Chaos in the ONEUS Dorm
07 ☺ Texting Etiquette
08 ☺ How to Ask a Girl Out On a Date
09 ☺ Happy Halloween! 🎃
10 ☺ ONETEEZ Storytime (feat. Blood-Suckers)
note

11 ☺ The Problem With Stealing Pets

729 40 155
By moonglowz

Messaging: Kang Yeosang

moonglowz
Yeosang!

Kang Yeosang
Who the fook are you

moonglowz
r00d
I'm the author

Kang Yeosang
Heh?
You can't lie to me
I know the author's username has an elf in it

moonglowz
I changed it you dolt

Kang Yeosang
Are you sure, Ms Crazy Pants?

moonglowz
Do you want to get kicked out of the book?

Kang Yeosang
You can't kick me out because I'm still a part of ATEEZ
If you kick me out the readers will kill you
😎

moonglowz
...
Dang it you're right
Fine whatever
Just if I randomly pop up into the chat again and the others don't know who I am, tell them that I'm Silver

Kang Yeosang
Just change your username to silvermoon or silverglowz or glowsilverz or something

moonglowz
No don't want to
Goodbye
Remember what I said or I'll stab you

Kang Yeosang
Wait you haven't heard all of my ideas yet!
silverdream, queensilver, silverprincezz, silverofarrowz, moonsilver, hellosilverz...

moonglowz
Shut up or I'm blocking you

Kang Yeosang
:(

11.39 p.m.

Messaging: Gunhak hyung

Son Dongju
Gunhak hyung
Gunhak hyung
I want a pet

Gunhak hyung
Ask Hwanwoong

Son Dongju
Ok

11.45 a.m.

Messaging: Shortie hyung

Son Dongju
Shortie hyung
Shortie hyung
Shortie hyung
I want a pet

Shortie hyung
yeah i'm not getting you one
You just called me short

Son Dongju
Fine

11.58 a.m.

Messaging: The Parents

Son Dongju
Hey
Seoho hyung
Ravn hyung
I wanna pet

Seoho hyung
No

Son Dongju
But why not?

Youngjo hyung
You are not responsible enough to own a pet!
You'll get us killed!

Son Dongju
Do you even know what pet I want?
It could be a goldfish
Goldfish can't kill anyone

Youngjo hyung
Are you sure about that?
Goldfish can kill people!
Haven't you ever heard of that Chinese dynasty that was killed off by a bunch of fish?

Son Dongju
Hyung you just made that up
That never happened

Youngjo hyung
Dang you, Xion!

Seoho hyung
Dongju Son
Do you really think we'll believe you if you said you wanted a goldfish?

Son Dongju
...
I c I c

Seoho hyung
You would want a scarier pet
Like a dog or a car
Cat

Son Dongju
You're afraid of dogs??

Youngjo hyung
Of course he's not, don't be silly
We have a fooking house in the dog
*fooking dog in the house

Seoho hyung
What I'm trying to say is that even dogs and cats, regular pets, are dangerous in your care
And I know you don't even want a dog or a cat as your pet
You want something more risky
Like a snake or a tarantula

Son Dongju
Oh that's a great idea

Seoho hyung
NO IT IS NOT

Son Dongju

Seoho hyung

Son Dongju

Seoho hyung

Youngjo hyung
?

Son Dongju
You're still not getting me a pet?

Seoho hyung
FOR THE LAST TIME, NO, XION

Son Dongju
Fine then
Desperate times calls for desperate measures

12.48 p.m.

Messaging: ONETEEZ BATCHES

babyxion 🍼
I want a pet

dumbjerk
Dongju, we talked about this!

r00dboii
Why are you taking the argument to the gc you inconsiderate batch

dumbjerk
OMGEE RAVN YOU SAID THE B WORD

r00dboii deleted a message!

r00dboii
Come again?

babyxion 🍼

dumbjerk

babyxion 🍼
Seoho hyung we should've screenshotted it

dumbjerk
Yeah

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
GOOD MORNING FOLKS
What is it that you should've screenshotted?

dumbjerk
Ravn saying batch

StrongToedOlaf ☃️
Ugh that would've been gold

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
Yeah
But anyways, what's this about a pet?

babyxion 🍼
I want a pet but Ravn and Seoho hyung wouldn't let me ):
Ravn has a dog, which is unfair because he doesn't let me have my own pet

dumbjerk
I don't think you're responsible enough to have your own pet

babyxion 🍼
Who are you, my mom?

StrongToedOlaf ☃️
Aish Dongju calm down
It's not like Seoho hyung wants to get you executed or something

babyxion 🍼
BUT HE FORBIDS ME FROM HAVING A PET
THAT'S JUST AS CRUEL

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
@Brain Dead 🧠 let's get Dongju a pet

dumbjerk
DON'T YOU DARE

Brain Dead 🧠
What?

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
Let's get Dongju a pet

babyxion 🍼
Yes please 🥺

r00dboii
No
Seoho doesn't let you have one
So no

StrongToedOlaf ☃️
Count me in! I want to steal from a pet shop

r00dboii
WAITH WHATUY

StrongToedOlaf ☃️
*i want to buy a pet from a pet shop
Hahaha autocorrect can be trash sometimes

r00dboii

dumbjerk

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
ANYWAY
Who else wants to sign up to this pet finding mission?

Sugar Bear 🐼
Me!

StrongToedOlaf ☃️
Me!

GONEHAK
What?

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
Okay the three of you are in!

GONEHAK
Wait for what

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
Getting Dongju a pet

GONEHAK
Wait I didn't sign up for anything

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
Too late you're in the pet stealing squad

GONEHAK
Drat

dumbjerk
PET STEALING SQUAD?!?

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
*pet purchasing squad
Hagahaha autocorrect can be such a batch sometimes

dumbjerk

Sugar Bear 🐼
"Hagahaha"

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
Shuth up ):<

r00dboii
I am not lying when I say that I am worried for these kids' future

GONEHAK
Yeah

StrongToedOlaf ☃️
We're teenagers
We need to live a little

Brain Dead 🧠
Yeah before we become old boring adults that do nothing but sit around all day and stare at the wall

Savage Bean
Like you boring old hyungs

babyxion 🍼

r00dboii
Why do you have a Puss in Boots gif thing-y

babyxion 🍼
Because Puss in Boots is gold

dumbjerk
No it ain't

babyxion 🍼
oH shUt Up hYuNG *british accent*

dumbjerk

r00boii
What is that randomness

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
*cue Jongho* R00D

Brain Dead 🧠
*cue Jongho* appletree 🍎 has changed dumbjerk's name to R00DJERK!

dumbjerk
Why is my username changed Dongju told me to shut up
I'm not being rude

Brain Dead 🧠
Because you are

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
A batchy

Brain Dead 🧠
Batch

GONEHAK
Yungi do share a brain cell don't they

Sugar Bear 🐼
I should know, I live with these giants

babyxion 🍼
BSKSHDKAJA GIANTS
and what does that make us, dwarves?

Savage Bean
No, we're elves
It makes Hongjoong hyung, Shortwoong hyung and Wooyoung dwarves

uwuyoung
Even when I'm offline, I'm still attacked

Shortwoong the 🌱
Even when I'm offline, I'm still attacked
OIIOIIII

uwuyoung
OIOIIIII

appletree 🍎
Plagiarism! >:(

babyxion 🍼
plagiarism! ):<

StrongToedOlaf ☃️
We have twinsies in this froup chat

Brain Dead 🧠
*fruit chat

GONEHAK
That's not even the right correction

dumbjerk
Um, caN WE PLEASE FOCUS AT THE TASK AT HAND

Sugar Bear 🐼
Which is?

dumbjerk
DISBAND THE PET STEALING SQUAD

StrongToedOlaf ☃️
YOU WANT TO DISBAND US?!

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
WE HAS FORMED FOR ONLY FIVE MINUTES AND YOU WANT TO DISBAND US?

uwuyoung
We has formed—

Brain Dead 🧠
IT'S HARD FOR US TO FIND MEMBERS YOU KNOW

Sugar Bear 🐼
APPRECIATE OUR HARD WORK YOU INCONSIDERATE BATCH

hippocrite 🦛
Leave Seoho alone fjakdhjs

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
You are automatically not a member of the Pet Stealing Squad hyung

StrongToedOlaf ☃️
*pet purchasing squad

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
Dook auto correct

r00dboii
IS NOBODY CONCERNED ABOUT THIS

R00DSHORTIE
After getting insulted?
No I don't care anymore

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
Okay I think we can afford one more member on this Pet Stealing Squad
Who wants to join

uwuyoung
ME!

Shortwoong the 🌱
ME!

appletree 🍎
ME!

SANshine ☀️
ME!

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
SAN you are the lucky member to get a spot on this squad!

SANshine ☀️
WHOOPEE

uwuyoung
WAIT

Shortwoong the 🌱
WHAT

appletree 🍎
WE TEXTED FIRST

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
But y'all are crackheads so you aren't a part of this Pet Stealing Squad
San let's go

TeddyBearYunho 🧸 has gone offline!
Brain Dead 🧠 has gone offline!
SANshine ☀️ has gone offline!
StrongToedOlaf ☃️ has gone offline!
Savage Bean has gone offline!

GONEHAK
I guess I have no choice but to join it

GONEHAK has gone offline!

appletree 🍎
But I'm not a dwarf like Shortwoong hyung and Wooshort hyung ):

Shortwoong the 🌱

uwuyoung

r00dboii
Is nobody going to point out that we left Yunho at "Pet Stealing Squad"?

dumbjerk
OH SHOOT

2.14 p.m.

Messaging: Helping Seonghwa Ask A Girl Out On A Date

Sugar Bear 🐼
We shall be using this groop chat so I will add and remove the members needed in here

Shortwoong the 🌱
YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT—

Sugar Bear 🐼 removed Shortwoong the 🌱
Sugar Bear 🐼 removed appletree 🍎
Sugar Bear 🐼 removed babyxion 🍼
Sugar Bear 🐼 removed r00dboii

Sugar Bear 🐼
I can do anything I want

Brain Dead 🧠
Shortwoong hyung's gone
Who you're talking to?

Sugar Bear 🐼
SHUSH

Sugar Bear 🐼 added TeddyBearYunho 🧸
Sugar Bear 🐼 added StrongToedOlaf ☃️
Sugar Bear 🐼 added GONEHAK

Sugar Bear 🐼
There you go

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
Okay first up
Code names

SANshine ☀️
Ooo sounds exciting

Brain Dead 🧠
You mean you're going to change the usernames? You know it changes in ONETEEZ BATCHES too

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
I toggled the group chat's settings and now it allows us to change the username in here without it affecting the name in other groups

Sugar Bear 🐼
Yunho's being smart for once

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
Shut up I have always been smart

TeddyBearYunho 🧸 changed StrongToedOlaf ☃️'s name to Crazy Driver

Crazy Driver
Why

GONEHAK
I don't like where this is going

TeddyBearYunho 🧸 changed their name to Cult Leader

Cult Leader changed Sugar Bear 🐼's name to Navigator ☸️

Cult Leader changed GONEHAK's name to Distraction

Cult Leader changed Brain Dead 🧠's name to Hacked 🎓

Cult Leader changed SANshine ☀️'s name to Communicator

Hacked 🎓
Yunho explain
Also why am I Hacked

Cult Leader
Oops

Cult Leader changed Hacked 🎓's name to Hacker 🎓

Cult Leader
There you go!

Navigator ☸️
Now explain

Cult Leader
These new usernames are our roles
I am the leader

Distraction
Why you?

Cult Leader
Because I formed the squad?
Duhh

Distraction
Making you leader is a horrible idea
Also whY AM I DISTRACTION?

Cult Leader
Cuz ur good at that
Anyway
Keonhee is Crazy Driver because he is in charge of getting us out if we need to

Crazy Driver
I don't have a car tho

Navigator ☸️
Steal one

Hacker 🎓
WE AIN'T THIEVES

Distraction
We're literally going to steal from a pet shop

Hacker 🎓
Wait we're actually doing it?
I THOUGHT THAT WAS A JOKE
YUNHO MAY I WITHDRAW

Cult Leader
We just debuted and you want to leave?
NO WAY BRO

Communicator changed the group chat name to The Pet Stealing Squad

Communicator
We're not helping Seonghwa hyung ask a girl out on a date cuz he should know how to do so already

Cult Leader
Anyway
Yes San thanks for the group chat name change I forgot about it
So San is going to help us coax the shop owner to allow us to bring a pet home without paying
And since that's probably not going to go well, Gunhak hyung is going to help us distract the pet owner

Distraction
How?

Cult Leader
You figure it out yourself
Dance or something
So while Gunhak distracts the shopkeeper San takes a pet and leaves the shop, and they go into the car, where Yeosang, Mingi, Keonhee and I are waiting
Keonhee will be the one who drives us out
Yeosang will help with navigating us out of there
Mingi will be the one who'll hack into the cameras and erase all evidence that we have been there

Hacker 🎓
WHAT?
I can't hack into cameras
I ain't smart

Cult Leader
Well too bad, go learn how to do that
Now
Find a car

Navigator ☸️
There's one in front of the dorm

Hacked 🎓
Huh? Did that just arrive a while ago?

Cult Leader
Whatever, it's a car
Steal it

Crazy Driver
Hold up where

Cult Leader
Sorry it's in front of the ATEEZ dorm
We'll drive that to the ONEUS dorm

Distraction
You sure it's okay to steal that?
What if it's your CEO's car?

Cult Leader
...
Good point there my dear friend

Crazy Driver
We'll just take Ravn's car

Navigator ☸️
You're going to take your leader's car?

Distraction
I'm sure he won't mind

Hacker 🎓
This ain't going to end well

Cult Leader
Nope!
We depart tonight at 9 p.m.

Crazy Driver
Will the pet shop even be open around that time?

Cult Leader
Oh yeah
Plan B is break into the shop and steal the first pet you see if the shop's closed
Capisce?

Distraction
WHAT THE FOODKSHFKS—

Crazy Driver
Capisce!

Navigator ☸️
Ah wahtever

Cult Leader
*whatever
Alrighty!
We depart TONIGHT!

9.08 p.m.

Messaging: ONETEEZ Batches

SANshine ☀️
Hi

I'm bored

appletree 🍎
Did Byul scratch you again

SANshine ☀️
No...

uwuyoung
San I can literally hear you sniffling from my room

SANshine ☀️
AHHHH YES SHE DID
SHE SCRATCHED ME
But that was four hours ago
How can you hear me sniffling?

uwuyoung
Oh I forogot i need to feed ny dog g ahahahgdgsahg

uwuyoung has gone offline! (pretty hastily, i might add)

appletree 🍎

SANshine ☀️

appletree 🍎
He doesn't have a dog?

SANshine ☀️
Yeah

appletree 🍎
There's something wrong with Wooyoung

SANshine ☀️
Maybe he's having a nightmare?

Shortwoong the 🌱
Hello Chois

appletree 🍎
Who invited the shortie to this party?

Shortwoong the 🌱 has left the chat!

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
CHOI JONGHO

TeddyBearYunho 🧸 added Shortwoong the 🌱 to the group chat!

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO BE NICE

R00DSHORTIE
Aju nice!

appletree 🍎
Why should we be nice?
The good people die first anyway

hippocrite 🦛
Why do u have to hit us with the sad truth

babyxion 🍼
You know that really sad YouTube comment that goes like:
Son: "Mom, who do the nicest people die first?"
Mom: "If you went to a garden, which flowers will you pick first?"
Son: "The ugliest ones."

R00DSHORTIE
Uhhhh that's now how the last part goes?

babyxion 🍼
Shut up imma go my way
Speaking of my way
@r00dboii @dumbjerk I WANNA PET

dumbjerk
HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO SAY NO??

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
Ddaengg the mom's mad

babyxion 🍼
I WANNA PET

dumbjerk
NO

babyxion 🍼
PET

dumbjerk
NO

babyxion 🍼
PET

dumbjerk
NO

babyxion 🍼
PET

dumbjerk
NO

babyxion 🍼
PET

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
Caught in the crossfire

dumbjerk
NO

babyxion 🍼
PET

dumbjerk
NO

babyxion 🍼
PET

dumbjerk
NO

Shortwoong the 🌱
Between a mom and a son

babyxion 🍼
PET

dumbjerk
NO

babyxion 🍼
PET

dumbjerk
NO

babyxion 🍼
PET

dumbjerk
NO—

r00dboii
BOTH OF YOU STOP
We have more pressing matters at hand

hippocrite 🦛
What pressing matters?

r00dboii
Keonhee and Gunhak are missing
And aren't they a part of the Pet Stealing Squad too? 🤨

appletree 🍎
Suspicious suspicious

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
Uhhhhhhhhhhhh

SANshine ☀️
Ummmmmmmmm

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
Maybe they went out to eat or something?

dumbjerk
At this hour??

SANshine ☀️
Perhaps they wanted a midnight snack

r00dboii
We have a room full of food in the dorm

SANshine ☀️
Oh
Well I don't know I'm not supervising them 24/7 😤

dumbjerk
You two are acting suspicious

babyxion 🍼 changed dumbjerk's name to overprotective mother

babyxion 🍼
Calm downn

overprotective mother
I can't calm down they're missing!

SANshine ☀️
Alright overprotective mother I told Keonhee to tell you

overprotective mother
Where is he—

StrongToedOlaf ☃️
THERE ARE FOOKING COPS CHASING AFTER US ASJDDHSISJSJAKDKL

overprotective mother
WHAT THE FOOK

Sugar Bear 🐼
WHO SAID THIS WAS A GREAT IDEA AGAIN I'MM GOING TO MIRDER YOU

appletree 🍎
You know that things have gone bad if Yoesang hyung is screaming bloody murder

hippocrite 🦛
Ok what happened now?

Brain Dead 🧠
WE TEIED TO DOLLOW YUNHO'A PLAN TO GET DONGJU A PET BUT SAN DAILED HIS PART AND GUNHAK FAILED HIS PRT AND EVERYONE FAILED THEIR PART EXCEPT KEONHEE WHO IS DEIVING US LIKE CRAZY

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
WRONG GROYP CHAT MINGI!

Brain Dead 🧠
AHHH SORRY

overprotective mother
Y'ALL ARE GEGTTING A LECTURE QHEN YPU GET HOME!
THE COPS???
WHADDAYAMEAN EVERYONE FAILED THEIR PART???
WHY R U STEALKIMG FOR A PET SYOP????

r00dboii
The reign of typos has begin

Shortwoong the 🌱
*begun

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
Okay I will stop typing in caps because our readers might get a headache from reading it
The plan was to get San to coax the shopkeeper to bring us a pet home without paying

overprotective mother
WHY THE FKSGSKDHF WOULD YOU DO THAT

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
If that doesn't work Gunhak was supposed to distract the shopkeeper while San gets a pet

overprotective mother
AGAIN: WHAT THE FKSJSKDJSLALKD—

Brain Dead 🧠
And then I was supposed to hack the security cameras bUT YUNHO I ALREADYY TOLD YOU SINCE THE BEGINNING I CANNOT HACK

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
I thought that your forgotten hacking skills will come back to you in time!
Anyway
So the trio failed in their parts
Gunhak only distracted the shopkeeper by talking
San was unable to coax the shopkeeper and take the pet without anyone else noticing
And Mingi was unable to hack anything

Brain Dead 🧠
I'M SORRYYYY ㅠ ㅠ

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
Anyway the rest of the mission seems to be going great
Yeosang is helping Keonhee navigate his way around the city for the quickest getaway

overprotective mother
HOLY SLSAJDSALALADKD
And what were YOU doing this entire time?

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
I formed the plan and directed the operation 😎

babyxion 🍼
You did all that for me? 🥺

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
yes baby Xion uwu

babyxion 🍼
This is why Yunho hyung's my favorite
Goodbye Seoho hyungg

overprotective mother
WHAT
NOOO DON'T GO
JUST BECAUSE I DIDN'T GET YOU A PET???
IT WAS FOR YOUR SAKE!
YOU AREN'T RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH

babyxion 🍼
Blah blah blah

appletree 🍎
Oh by the way San hyung was pet did you get for Dongju?

SANshine ☀️
Umm
I took a couple...

overprotective mother
WHAT?!???
HOW MANY?!!!??!

SANshine ☀️
A goldfish, a snake, a tarantula, a rabbit, a dog, a cat, and an iguana

r00dboii
I think Seoho fainted

Shortwoong the 🌱
Yeah his dead body is lying down in the middle of the hallway

R00DSHORTIE
This is a stupid thing that you kids have done but I'm also proud
How were you able to sneak those seven animals?

SANshine ☀️
The snake, the tarantula and the iguana were already in conjoined cages
The dog, the cat, and the rabbit are in one together sleeping
And the goldfish is in a plastic bag which we placed in a small aquarium

appletree 🍎
Where did you get the small aquarium from?

Sugar Bear 🐼
I stole it when they were still inside

overprotective mother

WHAT????
This is NUTS!!
you guys are going to be in JAIL for this!!

GONEHAK
Don't worry we're currently hiding in a building trying to make sure nobody seed us
*sees

SANshine ☀️
The car's a bit scratched up but we're okay

appletree 🍎
Nobody asked

Shortwoong the 🌱
Who's car are you driving anyway?
Keonhee and Gunhak hyung don't have a car

overprotective mother
Don't tell me you stole it from some poor old man

StrongToedOlaf ☃️
Ummmm

GONEHAK
Worse, actually

hippocrite 🦛
Ddaeng
Who's car is it?

Sugar Bear 🐼
Ravn hyung's

r00dboii
...
WHAT?!?!???!!!

TeddyBearYunho 🧸
OKAY GOODBYE LOGGING OFF!!

The Pet Stealing Squad has gone offline!

r00dboii
I'MM GOING MURDER YOU WHEN YOU COME BACK!!!!

appletree 🍎
Well that was an adventure

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