Copyright to VedaPettigrew
Rosannah stifled a yawn as she bit into a delicious tart. The Marchioness of Insbury had invited a smallish group of married women to a Ladies Luncheon. The idea was to discuss the state of the workhouses but Rosannah had not seen much evidence of that as yet.
It was a cause Henry was passionate about, she had heard his discourses plenty of times ranting about the pointless cruelty that all who entered, suffered. His passion had fed hers and she was more than willing to join the battle hence agreeing to this lunch, but she had a definite feeling that the leaflet they had received upon arrival was all she would hear on the subject today.
Another time it might bother her but today she was just too tired to feel anything other than mildly irritated. She stifled another yawn, hoping the confection would make her feel more alert. Guilt nibbled her and she made the vow to ensure there was more substance to the next meeting.
She and Henry had not gone to sleep until the morning light shone through the curtains and had been awoken in a panic by Maisie informing her there had been no instruction to cancel the lunch and she needed to leave post haste.
She had rushed to get ready as fast as possible and had not even managed a conversation with Henry. He had looked adorably mussed up though and it was all she could do not to insult all present by staying abed and cutting the lunch.
Sadly her sense of honour had brought her, but now they were using the opportunity to gossip she felt indignant at the waste.
"The performance at Maison de la Musique last night was quite splendid." The comment startled Rosannah out of her daze and she saw Lady Enderly casting a sly look towards her.
"It often is," the Marchioness replied, "A good outing after your mourning period?"
"Lord Wiston and I enjoyed it tremendously, though not as much as some." Another look. Rosannah sighed, she expected snide comments from debutantes not respectable widows.
"Your Grace seemed to enjoy it," Lady Enderly directed at her, "At least the first half."
Rosannah looked at her head-on, she may have all sorts of difficulties with her speech but she was no coward. Besides which, after she and Henry made up last night she felt powerful. He gave her that.
"I did immensely Lady Enderly," she smiled peacefully, "I get utterly lost in music. It is one of God's beautiful gifts to us."
Lady Enderly narrowed her eyes, obviously dissatisfied at her failure to get a rise.
"Here here," Viscountess Clara chimed, "Well said indeed Your Grace."
It was strange to be in such a position of authority. Her elevation from the lowest rank to the highest had changed everything. People looked to her to see her reactions and followed suit. They deferred to her opinions, even though some were older and wiser than she.
She wondered how many of them had even noticed her before her marriage.
"Not the second half though," Lady Enderly kept poking. "It seemed you were out of sorts." Malicious to the core.
Rosannah kept her countenance. "I think I ate too much, the food was far too tempting." She nodded to Lady Hannah, "Your mother is such a genius at organising these things."
Hannah pinked at the compliment and it did not go unnoticed by anyone else. Lots of others chimed in, seconding the praise of the Duchess. Not Lady Enderly though, she looked even more disgruntled at her lack of success.
"It looked to me like you and the Duke had a little disagreement," she gave a small laugh, "I wondered if that was what engendered the change?"
Rosannah stared at her in shock, surely she did not think that she would discuss such things. Seeing her expression, Marchioness Insbury hurriedly intervened.
"My dear Duchess, you must not take offence. I must explain as it is your first luncheon with us; we are all married ladies, and sometimes as I am sure you are now aware, life with a husband can be ..." she made a small moue, "... trying."
Several of the ladies tittered.
"We use this luncheon as an excuse to release some of the pressure, discuss tactics and help each other. I think we can all say it has been beneficial to all of us at some point," she looked around at the other eight women who all nodded. "Do not be offended by Lady Enderly's bluntness, I believe she was only trying to help."
Rosannah silently harrumphed, there was no possibility of that being the truth.
"Well, as it is my first time, perhaps you could excuse me from divulging private aspects of my marriage?" she said sweetly. "It feels a little strange."
"Of course," the Marchioness replied, "it is unfair to expect anything else. However, if you would not object, might I suggest we carry on as normal, and then you can understand what it is we are to each other."
"Certainly," Rosannah nodded, "I like the idea of women supporting each other. It is not something I saw much of as a debutante." She turned to Lady Enderly and carried on deliberately, "Those that carry on being spiteful into womanhood surprise me, I do not understand their motivation."
Lady Enderly gave her a pinched look but said nothing.
"Well said," Viscountess Clara chimed in. Again.
"You must agree to secrecy though," the Marchioness said, "We cannot tattle about anything heard in this room."
"Absolutely not," agreed Rosannah, "I would not dream of it."
"Well ladies, does anyone have anything they would like to talk about?"
"I would not mind," Lady Hannah said in a small voice, at once all eyes turned to her. "I think Lord John is upset with me that I have not managed to conceive as yet. We have been married almost six months."
Rosannah felt sick, she did not want to talk about this subject, it was still too raw.
"How often does he visit your chamber?" Baroness Vanhorn asked bluntly. Rosannah's cheeks burned, this was more intimate than she had imagined.
"Two times a week."
Rosannah gaped at her, only two times a week. She and Henry met that number in a day.
"Only twice? I wish the Baron would reduce his visits, he comes at least four." The Baroness looked pained.
"Lord John knows I need a rest between visits, otherwise it is so painful that I cannot help but cry." Several sympathetic nods caused Rosannah to gaze around at her in wonder. She and Henry had had a bad start so she knew of the pain, but she could not imagine suffering it for six months, especially now she knew how wonderful it could be.
"I find using a bit of butter helps," Viscountess Clara said, "it makes it almost pleasant."
Several shocked faces looked at her, "Pleasant?"
"Yes, not as much as the men find it, but better. My husband also prefers the feeling."
"Butter," Lady Hannah said wonderingly.
"Maybe if you use it, you could bear a nightly visit. That would help your chances of increasing," Lady Enderly said.
Rosannah could not work out her motive, did Lady Enderly truly care? Or was she merely attempting a trickery of some sort?
"I might try the butter," Baroness Vanhorn said, several other ladies agreed.
Rosannah looked at Lady Hannah, she seemed somewhat comforted by the advice she had been given, but the haunted look had not left her completely.
"How would Lord John react if there was no child?" she asked and several gasps erupted.
"You must not think that," Baroness Vanhorn said, "it is too awful to think on."
"It is," Rosannah said watching Hannah, "I hope it does not happen, truly. But do you talk to Lord John? Do you know his mind on the subject?"
Hannah shook her head, looking aghast at the idea. "We do not talk of things like that. We talk about our day's business, the weather, a little social gossip. I could not talk of such things with him."
"But he is your husband." Rosannah thought of her own dear Henry, he had even talked to her of her courses, though it had made her blush.
Several small laughs tittered around the table. "The Duchess is only recently married, we must forgive her naivety," Lady Partridge said before turning to Rosannah sympathy in her gaze. "Soon you will understand my dear. Husbands and wives rarely speak of such things, it is best to keep topics light."
More nods.
"Yes indeed," added the Marchioness, "it keeps the marriage more agreeable."
"Do any of you love your husbands?" Rosannah asked curiously, without any hint of reproach.
"I have become quite fond of the Marquis," the Marchioness nodded.
"Lord John has a place in my heart too. And I believe he is fond of me too. He has never forced me in the marriage bed, though I know he would like to visit more." Lady Hannah added.
"My husband has no such regard," Lady Partridge said. "But now I have borne him two sons I have taken to leaving a knitting needle by my pillow for nights when I truly wish to be left alone."
Rosannah started, that sounded terrible for both husband and wife. Her sympathy for him was short-lived however.
"Does that work?" Viscountess Hapthorne asked eagerly. She was an older lady as well.
"Not as much as I would like, mostly he just removes it from me and carries on despite my protests."
"But that is terrible," Rosannah gasped.
Angry laughs echoed around her. "But it is also a husband's right."
"Perhaps the Duchess is fortunate, the Duke does not force you?" Lady Hannah asked. Rosannah just shook her head, unable to open her mouth.
"He does seem quite taken with you," Viscountess Clara gushed. "We all saw the gossip pages, Dainty Delight."
Lady Enderly let out a snort and all eyes turned to her, forcing her to come up with an excuse for her rudeness. "Sorry ladies, my mind was far away, what were you discussing?"
She was a smooth liar but Rosannah was glad of the opportunity to turn things away from her and Henry. "Lady Enderly, do you miss your husband?"
"That old goat?" She snorted again. "Not at all. He was good for one thing, he gave me a decent title."
"Indeed, and that is something we all desire."
"Our dear Duchess did very well on that front," Lady Enderly sneered. "You must tell us how you managed to snag the most eligible gentleman in the country when he had not even reached his thirtieth year."
Again she was the object of attention, she blushed.
"We are embarrassing the Duchess, and we promised we would leave her alone today," the Marchioness admonished lightly.
"Thank you," Rosannah murmured, relieved to have someone take the pressure away. Not least because she had no wish to rub her success in their faces.
"Lady Hannah, I do hope you manage to get with child," she smiled at the one person who had been kind to her before her marriage. "But if you do not, I hope that Lord John loves you anyway."
There was a shocked silence around her.
"That would never happen," Lady Partridge said. "Sons are the only value we have as wives."
Rosannah decided to keep her counsel, but made the decision to ask Lady Hannah to come for a private visit one day very soon. The rest of the luncheon proceeded with more intimate details being discussed, though Rosannah kept out of it, not wishing to cause any more offence with her innocent remarks. She was surprised at the candour of the room and wondered how the group had arisen, these women could get into a lot of trouble if anyone divulged the things that were said.
As the party broke up Rosannah went to her friend. "Hannah, do come and see me tomorrow. I think of you as a true friend and it would be pleasing to spend some time together, just the two of us."
Hannah looked happy, "Your Grace, I would like that too."
"Call me Rosannah, I invited you to before I was married and I wish you to continue." She touched her friend lightly on the arm indicating the seriousness of her plea.
"Thank you Rosannah, what time shall I come?"
"We are attending Lord and Lady Houston's daughter's come-out ball tonight, I imagine it will be quite a late night... shall we say just after lunch, before visiting begins?"
"Perfect, I look forward to it. I shall be seeing you tonight though. I think the whole of London is invited."
"I know, Lady Verity has expectations that her come-out be the finest and most talked about of all the season. It is fortunate for her that her parents are terribly popular."
"Influential and rich you mean," sniggered Hannah. Rosannah could not help but laugh too.
As the carriage made its way slowly, pushing through the walkers and riders striving for position on the busy street, she pondered the strangeness of what she had discovered and hoped Henry was at home.
She was struck by just how fortunate she was. It could not be possible that she was the only one who was happy. She remembered Hannah's face as she spoke of John and knew there was affection there, but how could they have not discovered the joys of the marriage bed? She hoped to help tomorrow, to let her know a few things that might help.
Hannah was the closest in age to all the other ladies and try as she might to like the group, Rosannah knew she would never be comfortable as long as Lady Enderly was part of it.
The front door swept open as she came up the steps. "Thank you Jameson," she nodded. Is his Grace in his study?"
"Yes your grace, Fredericks is with him." Jameson warned her.
She liked her husband's secretary, he was kind and funny. On the few occasions they had met, he had set her at ease immediately and it was not often the case.
She made her way to the study, the door was closed. Should she knock? She decided against it and opened the door, announcing herself as she entered.
Henry looked up at her and gave her a secret smile, his rumpled appearance now gone. She gazed at him solemnly, building up some bogus tension to better the surprise she had for him in but a moment.
She turned tranquilly to his secretary, "Hello Mr Fredericks, I am sorry to disturb your hard work, but may I beg a quick moment with His Grace?"
Henry frowned.
"Of course Your Grace." Mr Fredericks clicked his heels as he gave a slight bow. On his way past she addressed him again.
"Perhaps you would care to take a stroll in the garden for thirty minutes, the weather is divine. Tell Jameson you are to be given some refreshment, Chef made some wonderful biscuits yesterday."
He smiled at her, "Thank you Your Grace."
"Not at all Mr Fredericks, it is I who thank you for allowing me to interrupt your work."
He left and Rosannah locked the door. When she turned, Henry was standing in front the desk, frown still in place.
"Rosie, what is wrong?" he held his arms out to her. She stood still, keeping her posture stiff as she surveyed him serenely. He began to look alarmed, and unable to keep a straight countenance for much longer, she spoke quickly.
"Gray, I am sorry to disturb your day, I hope you will not be cross with me, but something remarkable has come to my attention." She started pacing. "In truth I knew it before today, but my luncheon has underlined it so clearly." She stopped and looked at him, he was watching her warily. She almost laughed.
She resumed pacing, "I cannot say any exact details, for I was sworn to secrecy, but I cannot help but inform you of this profound revelation."
She looked to him again, his forehead was wrinkled. "What is it Rosie?" he sounded worried.
"Gray, it seems that," she started walking slowly up to him, "you are, in truth, the most amazing, wonderful, perfect," she timed each praise with a footstep, "kind, gentle, patient, thoughtful, caring..." she reached him and rested her hands upon his chest as he looked down on her with an amused twinkle. He put his arms about her as she leant into him.
"...loving husband that exists in the whole of the country. And I," she gazed into his eyes, "am the most fortunate wife that ever existed." She stood up on tiptoe and pulled his head towards her, "And I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate and love you."
With that she pressed her lips to his and was gratified by his instant response. His arms crushed her to him as his tongue immediately pushed into her mouth. Sparks shot through her and she stroked his tongue with her own.
He lifted her and turned her to sit upon his desk, settling himself between her legs without leaving her mouth. She entwined her fingers into his hair and was glad to find his hands running over every inch of bare skin he could reach.
As he kissed down her neck she gasped in shivering delight, this was going to be a half hour well spent.
At the end of their time together, Henry stood before her while he tried to straighten her coiffure and apparel.In return, she attempted to smooth the wrinkles out of his waistcoat and combed his hair with her fingers.
"I would like you to repeat this luncheon often if that is the result upon your return," Henry sounded amused. "I wish to know what it is that was discussed." He kissed her lightly on the lips.
"I cannot tell you the whole," she smiled wryly, "but I will tell you I was saddened to hear of how many of the women were dreadfully unhappy in their marriages." She looked him in the eye, showing him all the love and admiration she felt for him shine through. It seemed to work, for he warmed under her gaze.
"Not one other woman professed to enjoy the marriage bed," she whispered and his eyes shot open in surprise.
"I cannot believe you spoke of such things."
"I did not myself," she tweaked his nose, "I was allowed to remain silent as it was my first luncheon. Apparently, discussing the workhouse is a front, in truth it is an opportunity for these married women to support each other."
His eyebrows shot up. "Gray, you must not tell anyone," she begged, "Please. I was sworn to secrecy and for good reason, if any of their husbands found out," she shuddered, "it would not go well for them."
At his quizzical expression she answered, "It seems my father's ways are more common than you would think."
"I will not speak a word of what you say, I swear it." He kissed her for good measure.
"Thank you my good husband," she stroked his face, "I knew I could trust you."
"So will you be forced to divulge our secrets another time?" he teased.
"Oh how could I?" she scoffed, "It would be dreadfully unfair of me. They would know what they were missing," she gave him a long look.
"Hmm, I see that might be a problem. Perhaps you could tell them of my irascible temper," he grinned, "or possessiveness."
"Gray, I could not possibly. In truth I have nothing to complain about."
He plundered her mouth again, "Rosie, how I love you. You always see the best of me, I do not deserve it."
"Excuse me, you do indeed deserve it. You are everything good."
"You cannot say that, my reputation will be ruined," he gasped and she laughed.
"We shall have to come up with something for me to tell, it would not be fair to make them all confess their secrets without giving them something in return." She frowned, "I could always leave the group."
"No," he commanded quickly, "For I was not joking when I commented on how much I love the result." His lips met hers again, thrusting his fingers through her hair and disarraying her pins once more.
"It is not merely the lack of dastardly secrets that makes me reluctant," she confessed when they surfaced from their passionate kiss. "Lady Enderly is a part of the group and I do not trust her."
"Oh?" Henry questioned.
"Yes, I do not take to her at all. She needled me about our little disagreement last night. But truthfully, all our encounters have been unpleasant, she thinks me dull."
"How wrong she is." His words were comforting but he had a peculiar look upon his face.
"What is it?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, you look as if you want to tell me something, but also do not at the same time." She made a moue at him and he chuckled.
"That sounds an accurate description. I will tell you, but perhaps not now, for as much as I enjoyed this wonderful visit, I must get on. Fredericks and I have a lot to do and I do not want to make you late for the Houston's Ball." He stroked a curl of her hair at her neck and she shivered.
"I shall go and find Fredericks and send him back," she smiled as he helped her off the desk. As she was unlocking the door he called.
"Rosannah." She turned back to meet his satisfied gaze. "Feel free to interrupt me any time for such a visit," he wiggled his eyebrows wickedly.
She gave him that secret smile of love, "Very well my dear, as you wish."
"Oh and Wiston sent me this to give to you." He held out a small missive.
She frowned, "Why did he send it to you?"
Henry chuckled, "I think he is well aware of my jealousy and wanted to avoid any misunderstanding."
She tutted him with an impish smile and took the letter, deliberately brushing his fingers. He smiled at her touch and she turned her face up for one more kiss.
"His Grace is free again Mr Fredericks," she smiled as she met him in the garden. He nodded his thanks and went back indoors leaving Rosannah with her letter.
My Dear Duchess,
I am writing this straight after our meeting, I left the charming Lady Enderly because I felt this could not be delayed.
I am so dreadfully sorry for my offensive and ill-thought words. After witnessing your true reaction to my blundering I feel like the worst kind of cad and I beg forgiveness. In truth I was enchanted by the way you allowed the music into your heart and soul. Indeed it was a pleasure to watch, and increased my enjoyment of the pieces, a dunce like me who cares not a whit for music.
I have nothing to say in my defence but to repeat what I said last night – I was caught up in teasing my dear friend, I did not think well enough before I spoke and it pains me.
I have nothing to make amends for my words but my sincere apology and perhaps an open invitation to sample the excellent instruments in my music room for I know that Henry is sadly lacking in this area.
Next time he comes to pay me a visit, why do you not come and lock yourself away in there? I can only presume you play because a passion like yours could not be satisfied by merely being an audience, I believe you must participate.
It would honour me greatly if you could acquiesce to my request and bestow me with forgiveness,
Yours,
James Wiston
(Forgive the informality, but you are the wife of my good friend and as such I would like to consider you a friend as well.)
Now the reason was clear for Lady Enderly's antagonism, she would not have taken kindly to being left by her companion to write addresses to another lady.
That being said, Rosannah was touched by the letter and fetched herself to her Conservatory to form a reply. She wrote that she forgave him and would love to visit his music room the next time Henry visited.
Which she now hoped would be soon. The thought of playing the piano, if he had one, was thrilling indeed. Though if he did not, she would also be happy to pick up a violin, cello or harp.
Being very brave she even addressed it to Wiston, though she could not bring herself to use James just yet. She also signed it Rosannah Foxleigh, leaving out the titles. She would check with Henry to make sure he was happy with it.
She would like to have another true friend, one that was not with her for her title or to get to Henry. Even though they could never be close, she knew Henry would not allow her to be thus with another man, she liked the idea of being free with her words.
It was exhausting to have to constantly watch what she said and how she said it. The only way to get through the difficulties of social interaction was to make sure she had a select group around her with whom she could be herself.
Apart from Wiston, Sophia and Hannah had that potential, she was very fond of them both and hoped that they could become true friends, with clear hearts and no ulterior motives. The only person she had like that was so many miles away and she didn't know if she would ever see him again.
A soft sigh escaped, betraying the ache she felt at his absence, she wished it were possible to cross the ocean and find him, but it was not and hoping for such a thing would only cause pain. She resolved to write him another letter in which she would hide her sorrow and only wish him good cheer.
She never wanted him to worry about her, especially now she was truly happy. Missing him was the only blight in her life, and knowing he was happy was enough for her to ignore the selfish part of her that wanted to beg his return. He'd come when he was able and that had to be enough for her.
Sighing but with firm resolve she picked up her pen to address the first person she truly loved.