Arden's POV
"What the fuck is taking so long? It's been bloody hours since we were called, someone in this god damn hospital must be able to give us a fucking update." I pace up and down the hallway for the one thousandth time since arriving at the hospital. Mum's a mess, as you could expect when you receive a call this late at night telling us there has been complications with Papa's recovery.
Complications. What the fuck is that supposed to mean, that could quite literally be anything. mean anything. It's now 2 am and we've all been told to go home for now, Mum being the only permitted person to remain, but like fuck I will leave. Not until someone tells me something useful. Taking in my surroundings, I see Ashling curled up asleep on one of the sofas against the wall, its small and looks dam uncomfortable but shes made it work. Next to her, Tomas is in a upright chair, his arm propping up his head to keep from drifting asleep. Jill is tucked under his arm, sleeping soundly, her makeup showing signs of her earlier shed tears. Malachi stands further down the foyer, leaned up against the wall just scrolling his phone. If I know him like I think I do, he'll be making sure he's awake as long as I am. He really takes the role of best friend further than most, for which I am thankful.
Emerson? Where is my sweet cailin alainn? I could have sworn she was sitting here only minutes ago. She wouldn't leave me now, not here like this. No, she cares about Papa too, I saw the look in her eye when we received the call. Pulling out my cell, then remember I haven't saved her new number yet. We replaced her phone yesterday, so the other one can be assessed and since we have been together non stop I hadn't even thought about it yet.
"Arden" Her sweet voice couldn't have come at a better time, I was starting to panic. Turning, I find her standing behind me with two trays of hot coffee's. This woman is quite literally perfect in every way. "I grabbed some drinks for everyone, I figured with the whiskey and the long wait we've had some caffeine might help."
"Emerson, love, thank you. Here let me carry those for you," I take a tray, wrapping an arm around her and guide her to where the others sat. Tomas' eyes light up, seeing the array of goodness approaching him.
"Emerson, if my wife wasn't here I could kiss you!" he joked, though stopped laughing pretty soon after he saw my face. God he can be such a tool sometimes.
"Be my guest, will save me having too," Jillian mumbled, sitting up to receive her coffee, "besides, I may just kiss her myself"
Emerson let out the sweetest of laughs as she made sure Kai and Ash had a drink too, before snuggling back into my chest.
"You doing okay?" she asked, looking up me from under those beautifully long eyelashes. I take a deep breath, then let it all out in a very long sigh.
"No. No, not really, love." I let out a deep sigh, just shaking my head as I look back at her. Taking my coffee, placing both our drinks on a nearby table, she returns to me and wraps me in her arms, Holding me, giving me the strength to continue through the night. There's not much that scares me, but this, this makes me terrified. I can't imagine, no I won't imagine what could happen.
Emerson's POV
It pains me to see my strong man looking so broken, so deflated. I hug him, holding him close and I want nothing more than to tell him that it's all going to be okay, but I can't. I can't give him false hope. Don't get me wrong, I want Conor to pull through whatever this complication is, I've grown so close to him in such a short time, but I know things don't always work out. Sometimes, things take the turn you can never prepare yourself for. If that happens, I will be here the entire time. I will do whatever it takes to help him get through this.
Leaning back in his arms, I take hold of his face, drawing his eyes to my own. The fear showing in the crisp blue iris's as he turns my gaze.
"I love you Arden" I say confidently, reminding him that I'm his for as long as he accepts me.
"And I love .." His reply is interrupted by loud alarms sounding, a light flashing above Conor's door, "What the fuck is that." he cries out moving towards the door.
An onslaught of medical staff arrive, making their way into Conor's room, Arden, Tomas and Ashling all trying to follow.
"I'm sorry guys, we need you all to stay out here please" a young nurse advised, blocking the door.
"Please, just let us through..." Ashling cried out.
"We need to see him" Tomas added.
Arden was quiet, which worried me more than anything, a silent Arden was an angry one. He looked ready to knock someone out when the nurse stepped aside, but instead of making room for them to enter the room, they were escorting a very traumatized, distraught Siobhan from the room.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? LET HER GO?" Arden screamed out, pushing forward towards her, wrapping her in his safe embrace.
"I'm sorry sir, we need to do our jobs, that's easier with you all out here. The doctor will be out to update you as soon as she can." The older nurse instructed, much firmer than the first. They turned and returned to the room, leaving us all gathered outside, staring at a close window, blind down allowing us no refuge from the panic within.
"Mum, are you okay, mum what happened??" Arden spoke gently to her, as she cried into his chest, her hands gripping his short for dear life. Tomas is standing at her side, rubbing her back softly as her body shook with pain.
Seeing Ashling looking lost, paler than usual and incredibly silent, I edge my way closer to her, desperate to help ease any discomfort I can. I swing my arm around her shoulders, then she instantly begins to cry, dropping her head onto my shoulder.
"Mum?" Tomas prompted.
"I.... I.. He..." She stuttered, sobbing profusely, "I don't know"
"Shhhh, ma, it's okay." Arden cooed, slightly rocking her side to side.
"NO," she cried out, "You don't understand, you just don't understand." Sobbing louder, her breathe's sharper with each passing moment. "He... he ... he's barely breathing... the machine .."
"Shhhh, ma. Let's wait for the doctors aye" Arden replied, desperate to calm her down. He makes eye contact, his eyes red from straining away the tears so desperate to grace his face. I subtly shift Ashling into Jillian's awaiting arms, moving back to Arden's side, entwining my fingers in his. It's a small gesture, but right now it's the only one I can offer. He squeezes my hand letting me know it matters to him, even in this moment he finds a way to think of me.
"Excuse me. I hate to interrupt, but I'd like to update you all on Conor's condition" Every muscle in my body tightens when I look over to see it's none other than Arden's ex, Orlaith I think it was. I knew she had been his doctor, I guess I was just hoping I wouldn't have to see her myself. I shake my thoughts to the side, it's important I am here for them all, to hell with her. Siobhan has turned from Arden's arm and is now standing forward, holding Tomas' hand as we await the update. Arden releases my hand, instead opting to pull me into his chest, holding me firmly, securely, again putting my needs ahead of his own.
"What, what's happening Orlaith, how is my Conor?" Siobhan tentatively asked, drying her eyes.
"Mrs Quinn, I'm afraid I don't have good news. As you are all aware now, Conor was brought in due to the untreated Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, which he wasn't aware he had. Unfortunately due to the severe pneumonia he has been fighting off, his lung have been unable to recover."
"What does this all mean" Tomas interjected.
"Tomas, darling, let her finish" Jillian said, soothing him briefly.
"Thank you Jillian, ah so as I was about to say, um earlier this evening Conor presented some signs of deterioration, his condition decreasing at an alarming rate, which is why you were all called. Upon further assessment and tests, my conclusions are that Sepsis has now developed, due to his lungs not being able to recover.
Conor's lungs are barely functional at this stage, which is what attributed to this latest emergency. We have fitted him to a ventilator which is aiding his breathing. look, I don't want to be the one to say this, but as it is my job I feel I must inform you that we do not expect Conor to survive the night. I recommend you all say your goodbyes while you are able too."
"No! No, no, no, no.... oh god no, not my Conor, no, no, no" Siobhan frantically started crying again, instantly dropping towards the floor, luckily Arden and Tomas were quick to reach for her, supporting her weight before she fell to the floor. Ashling is doubled over in tears, Jillian holding her waist to support her also.
"I'm so sorry. I'll leave you to take some time. I will be close by if you have any questions" Orliath signaled down the hall where I assumed we would find her office, "Oh, one other thing I should mention. Due to high levels of carbon dioxide in his system, he may become confused or delirious. Please don't panic, but should this happen, notify me immediately."
Arden's POV
The fuck? How the fuck can this be happening. Not my Papa, no he is the strongest man in the world. No, she's wrong, she has to be. I can't fucking believe this shit. Maybe we should get a second opinion. If it was this serious, why the hell have they kept us waiting out here all god damn night. Oh mum, how is this going to affect her. She's still hanging almost lifelessly as Tomas and I try to guide her back into Papa's room, her feet barely dragging the floor. I look over my shoulder quickly to check on my girl, to see she's assisting Jillian in moving Ashling into the room.
Papa lay there, still, lethargic, hollow as the machines attached do the breathing for him. He looks like he's aged twenty years since my visit yesterday. Mum, finally standing on her own two feet inches closer to the bed, taking up the place she's spent most of her days, at his side and holding his hand. Tomas and I fall in behind her, just for additional support. Jillian and Emerson guide Ashling, who's sobbing gently now to his other side. She too, takes his hand in her own, his hands pale and weak, the skin showing patches of discoloration. Emerson backs up slightly and turns to me, giving a gentle smile.
"I'll ah, wait outside...." she spoke softly, before turning to walk away.
"You can stay love" I whisper, hopeful she will stay close. I need her, more than anything I need her.
"It's okay Arden, I'll be right outside, this is a family moment" she replied.
"Emerson" Papa's voice startled us all, quiet and strained, but it was still Papa, "Come here lass."
She walked silently back to the bedside, Ashling stepping back to allow Emerson to stand directly next to him. He reached out and grabbed her hand, startling her.
"Lass, you are very much a part of this family, do you hear me?" She nodded, the tears streaming down her cheeks continuously now, like rivers feeding the ocean.
"It would have given me great pleasure to watch you marry my son lass, but I'm just glad I got to see how happy you make him," he paused, coughing short sharp breaths, "Dance again lass, make sure you dance, do you hear me. Do it for me if you have too. Take care of those kids of mine will you, you're a strong young woman, they will need you in their lives."
"I will," she sobbed, leaning over and hugging his chest, "Is breá liom tú Papa"
"Ahhh, I taught you well love" he smiled, "I love you too lass."
My eyes burn, but I remain silent, there are so many things that need to be said but I can't find the words. My sweet cailin alainn even managed to win the heart of my Papa, in such a short amount of time too.
"Jillian" he rasped next, "Jillian, you are one of the most beautiful, intelligent, generous and crazy person I know, I couldn't have picked someone better for my Tomas if I tried. You be sure to keep him in line now you hear me, and make sure he takes care of you too"
Jillian simply nodded, leaning in to kiss his cheek, the tears a permanent fixture on her sad face.
"Ashling, my darling. I need you to be brave, sweetheart. You have everything you need to do great things and you'll have the love and support from your big brothers every step of the way. If they don't I will come back and haunt them." he tries to chuckle, but mostly coughs again, "Oh, Ashling, I need you to make sure Arden keeps that Emerson of ours, do you hear. She's going to be good for him."
"Papa, please don't leave me. I need you, please don't go, Papa please" her cries are desperate, agonized as she realizes all the moments we will lose after he passes, "I promise Papa, I will do all of that, I will be anything but please Papa, don't, just don't go." Emerson and Jillian find there way back to her side, holding her up as she begs him to give her the one thing he can't offer. I look down at Mum, finding her sobbing silently as she watches all his final goodbyes, nearing the one she will never be prepared for.
"Ashling, I need you to be strong now lass, you need to help your Mum okay, I need you to be strong"
She nodded, throwing herself over him for a hug, holding him tightly for dear life and only loosening her grip once she realized the effects on his breathing she was having.
"I will always love you, sweetheart" he added, placing a kiss on her forehead.
Turning his head in our direction, he looked between Tomas and I, looking deep in thought.
"I couldn't be more proud of two young lads, than I am of you, do you hear. You came into this world together, fit and strong, ready to take on the world. You have both made me a happy old man, seeing the honor and code you chose to live by, the greatness you exude when you take on any task. You have exceeded my expectations over and over again, brought wonderful woman into our family and treated your mother with every ounce of respect she was due. Keep this up boys, I expect to see you raising sons as magnificent as my own are one day."
"Jesus Papa, you old fool, fuck I love you" I respond, shocked at the lack of words coming to me.
"Me too, old boy" Tomas gave him a wee nudge on the shoulder, aware that harder would be too much at this time.
"Look after ya mother for me" he coughed again, the fits getting worse each time.
"Maybe you should rest dear." Mum added.
"Oh my love, my dearest Siobhan, not before I speak with you my angel" he cleared his throat, trying to shift so he could face her more.
"I will never forget how incredibly lucky I was to have won the heart of the most beautiful woman in the world. You have continued to take my breath away, I will love you beyond my dying breath for our love is strong enough for more than one lifetime, I will carry my love for you through the after life and on to the next. I will not rest until we are bond together once more, so don't you worry those pretty eyes of yours. You just live our life in the best way possible, I will wait forever for you my love"
"I can't do it without you, Conor, you are my heart and soul, what am I without you?"
"You will still be the love of my life, Siobhan, stay true to yourself and you will figure the rest out. The kids will need you, as they always have. You have this my love and I will always be with you, always and forever."
"Beidh grá agam duit, I gcónaí agus go deo," she whispered, curling up on his bed next to him, his frail arms wrapped around her. (I'll love you, always and forever)
The next two hours were long, silent and the most agonizing of my life. Papa would phase in and out of consciousness, Mum lay next to him sobbing silently, her shoulders shaking gently against him. I sat in a chair against the wall, Emerson on my lap holding me to her body, providing the only source of warmth I have in me. Jillian and Tomas are consoling Ashing, who's still in a state of denial, hoping he will pull through.
Orlaith would check on him regularly, this time however looking more thoroughly, I prepare myself for what's to come. It's time, we have to let him go now. I don't know how I am supposed to do all this without him, too ashamed to admit I am scared for the first time in I don't know how long. I look to Orlaith, she simply nods and tells us we need to consider switching the ventilator off now, as it's the only thing keeping his lungs breathing now. Mum sit's up on the bed, grabs his hand and lifts it to her lips.
"I will never forget, Conor. Always and forever." And with those words, she gave the go ahead to turn of the machine. A silence washes over the room, as quiet as the dormant seas, as the ventilator winds down, his chest no longer rising and falling as it once did.
My chest aches and my eyes water, the only comfort being that in his dying breath he still had his love at his side.
R.I.P Conor Quinn