He should stop sabotaging his studies. He knew it and yet...
Aki pushed his phone away once more, took off his glasses, and pinched the bridge of his nose as if the action would iron out his tangled thoughts. There was this part of him that urged him to stop thinking about it and go back to studying. Another, a bigger part of him wanted to open his phone and read the messages. His hands itched to do that.
He missed Zy.
And it pained him to accept that fact. He hated to admit it. He did not even let himself think about Zy in the past couple of weeks. Well, not as much as he used to. He thought he had grown resistant to Zy's charm.
But look at him, one text and everything he had built came crashing down.
Aki closed his eyes and sighed.
"Tired already? Here's something to energize you," Liam placed a plate of chocolates and nachos.
Aki took a bite of the chocolate, the size of a coin. His eyes widened in an instant. "This is good! It has a banana inside?"
"Yep! Found it on the internet last night and wanted to try it out. I'm glad you liked it," Liam grinned and took a seat beside Aki. "Why is your phone so far away?"
Aki took another bite and sighed. Liam flickered his gaze between Aki and Aki's phone. Aki could feel that Liam wanted to press him for answers but he felt thankful that Liam did not do that.
His damned phone buzzed again. With a jolt, both Aki and Liam stared at the phone. Aki realized that he forgot to turn it off when he read Zy's message. He reached out intending to shut it off for good. Instead, he let his eyes lingered at the preview message longer than he needed to.
'I missed you. Hang out with me?'
It was as if a dam broke down inside him and a surge of emotions hit him like a storm. He read the words again. And again. And again. Until the words seared his eyes and remained even if he closed them.
Beside him, Liam paused and watched him. Aki could not tell what Liam saw or how he reacted. At that moment, nothing mattered. Only one person. Aki grabbed his phone and his wallet.
Liam looked up at him. "Going somewhere?"
Aki hesitated for a while and fought his instinct to lie. "Yeah, just going somewhere in a bit."
"You have an exam tomorrow morning."
He did not know if it was Liam's voice or his expression or the rational part of Aki's brain or the stupidity of what he was about to do that set him off.
"I know!" Aki coughed and lowered his voice, "I know, it's just I need to be there."
Liam studied him, the area around his eyes tightened. "You know that... that person already has a boyfriend."
Aki widened his eyes. How could Liam know that? He could not have said it before... right?
His mind flashed back to the night when he got drunk, there was no way he could not have said a thing or two. Aki fought the urge to smack his face. Of course, he did. He might not spell it out but it was easy enough for Liam to put two and two together. Aki bit his lip, realizing that he had revealed quite a lot that night and it was not only the names.
After watching his reaction, Liam spoke, "Don't worry, you did not mention a name. But whoever that was, don't you think it's time for you to let go?"
He knew it was stupid. He 'was' being stupid. But even after knowing that Zy chose someone else, it was not easy for him to let go, to forget him. Not yet.
It scared him to admit that Liam was right so he could only put up his defenses.
"Easy for you to say because you know nothing!"
"Aki, that's not what I mean--"
But he did not hear the rest as he walked past his roommate and out from their apartment.