It's been a week since the night of the party. I feel better I mean it's not like me and Jace were in love, we only knew each other for a few weeks. I did think he cared about me, that's the only thing that stung, it might have been all an act.
Shawn and I's relationship is definitely different. He keeps flirting with me. The weird part is I like it.
Don't get me wrong though, the flirts aren't crazy it's just the way he looks at me or the tiny things he says that he thinks I don't notice. But I totally notice!
Anyway, I just want to know if Jace cared about me or not. I thought we had a connection, but maybe not.
I come into my room from getting a glass of water. Shawn is in the same place where he was when I left. He's laying on my window seat with his legs up on the glass. He's reading my second Harry Potter book. I actually finished it and am on the third one, Harry Potter and the prisoner of Azkaban.
"Your phone went off," Shawn informs me without taking his eyes off the book.
I sit down at my desk chair because I'm currently in the middle of an essay about what I want to do in the future. You know it's just a pretty basic project for the first week of school.
By the way, I made a few friends. Not snobby ones that will cheat on you and try to have sex with you, just generally nice people. Sorry I had to note that, I'm pretty proud.
I look at the text. Oh god. It's from Jace...
Jace: Listen Gracie I'm so sorry about what happened last week...
Ew just reading that first sentence makes my eyes roll.
Jace:... I wanted to give you some time after it happened to calm down. I need to talk to you. I need you to know I'm so, so, so, sorry! I just need to explain myself. Can we meet? Please.
"Oh my god!" I whisper. But apparently not that quietly because Shawn heard me.
"What is it?" He asks. He appears next to me looking over my shoulder. I wasn't expecting it so I didn't have time to hide the text. I hear the book he was reading fall onto the ground. "Jace?" I look up at him and he's shocked. "Why is Jace texting you?" When he says Jace I could hear the disgust in his voice. I don't blame him though.
"He says he wants to explain himself," I say quietly wrapping my head around it all.
"What? You're not actually going to let him, are you?"
"I don't know."
"Gracie what? You can't give him anything! He cheated on you he doesn't deserve it!" Shawn said sternly.
"I know! Trust me I know. But I want to know if he actually cared about me or if it was all an act. I want to hear him out."
"Don't do this Gracie. It's stupid and ridiculous!"
I stand up so I'm face to face with him. "Shawn, I need to do this, I need to know, for closure." He was about to say something but I cut him off. "And don't say that closure is overrated or some bullshit like that." Shawn's looked taken back because I knew what he was going to say. "I'm going and you can't stop me, please just understand. This is my life, not yours, sorry."
"Fine." He says under him breathe.
I grab my leather jacket and phone. I run downstairs and see my mom on the couch. She's still hurt from the car accident but she's doing a lot better.
A/N this is the outfit she's wearing ( I know badass right)
"Hey, mom can I take the car?" I asked walking into the living room.
"Yeah, sweetheart. Where are you going?" She asks.
"Um, there's just something I got to take care of, I'll fill you in later." And by 'filling her in later' I mean come up with a good enough lie.
"Okay, the keys are hanging up on the hook."
I run to get the keys. "Thank you! Love you!" I yell running out of the house. I could hear her faintly say it back to me but I just wanted to get out of there incase Shawn stops me.
I get into my mom's car and text Jace back.
Me: I guess, meet me at the Coos Bay Pier in 10 minutes or I'm leaving
Jace: okay on my way.
I pull out of the driveway and don't even play music. For me that is insane but I just need to think. I didn't want music to distract me from how I'm feeling.
///Pier///
I get here first and stand next to the wooden railing, looking out at the water and gray sky. It was very windy and even looked like it might rain, but that's how it usually looks here.
All of a sudden I feel a hand on my shoulder. "Gracie." I turn back and see Jace in a hoodie and joggers. He looks pretty rough. Then I look back at the water.
We stand there for a second just watching the waves. "So what did you want to say?" I ask getting tired of the silence.
He stops looking at the water and looks at me."I'm so sorry, I know you must hate me. But I've just been going through a lot right now. My uncle is in the hospital, because of, cancer, and my parents are splitting up." I could hear in his voice he was getting choked up just thinking about it. "I know that that's not an excuse but, that's why I've been acting weird. I should have never ever in a million years should have done that to you. I was really drunk and Hannah was crying, it all just kind of happened. As soon as I saw you I realized what I was doing and how wrong it was." He takes a breath. "Please just forgive me." He begs.
I still don't say anything for a few seconds and just watch the water. "You know I'm sorry about everything that's going on with you but, I just don't know Jace."
"Gracie I'm sorry! It will never happen again. This summer has been the best summer ever, because of you! I felt something and I know you did too! You are so amazing, smart, and beautiful! Please, I don't want to lose you! Seeing you at school, avoiding me, I can't take it!" I could tell he was sad and felt so bad. Apart of me wanted to go back with him, I just don't know what to do.
I shook my head looking at the water. I felt a tear falling down my face, I don't know why but there it was. "I don't know Jace, you can't just hurt me like that and expect me to come crawling back to you." I looked away from the water and finally at him. He was crying too. "I just have to think about it," I whisper, loud enough for him to hear.
He shook his head and tried to grab my wrist but it was too late I already started to walk away.
I got in my car and cried even more. I wish I didn't feel anything for him anymore! But I do! Seeing his face just brought all of the good memories back. Like the one on the hill. Our first kiss, it was so magical, it was like a movie. I just don't know how to feel.
I get home and immediately go to my room. My mom was at a doctors appointment that one of her friends took her too and Sammy is probably at Sophie's. They are really good friends now. I'm done crying and have calmed down, I just need to think right now.
I take off my jacket and lay down on my bed looking at the white ceiling. I close my eyes and just think.
"How did it go?" I hear Shawn ask. I sit up and look at him. He looked nervous and a bit frustrated but that's just because I decided to leave.
"It was fine, I guess."
"What did he say?" Shawn didn't sit down he just stood there scratching the back of his neck.
"He explained to me what happened and why he was an emotional wreck. His uncle is in the hospital and his parents are getting divorced. He felt really bad about what happened and wants us to get back together."
Then Shawn snapped. "And you believe that bullshit?" He sternly yelled at me.
"Why are you freaking out?" I stand up and walk over to him. But he dismisses my question.
"He doesn't deserve you! He can't treat you like that and then expect your forgiveness!" I was about to say something but he cut me off. "You are the most incredible girl I've ever met! You shouldn't be with a dirtbag like him! He probably doesn't even appreciate you as I do! He probably doesn't even know you like I do! You deserve to be with someone better than him you can't go crawling back to that dick! You should be with someone who would never do anything to hurt you! Someone who would treat you like a queen, who would be by you forever to hold you and protect you!" He yells at me in frustration. Now I'm mad, he can't attack my love life just because he's jealous.
"Oh yeah and who's that?" I yell back at him.
He doesn't say anything he just stares at me, at my eyes. He looks at me like I'm a puzzle or I don't understand something. "Goddamnit Jo." He says under him breathe. He quickly walks over to me and puts his hands on my cheeks. He stares at my lips for a split second before leaning down and putting his on mine. As our lips collide my heart is racing. Our lips become in sync. I slide my arms around his neck and he puts his hands on my waist. It was like the Damon and Elena kiss at the end of the vampire diaries. It was one of those magical kisses where the camera spins around the couple in movies. It was amazing!
Then he pulls back smiling and resting his forehead on mine. "Wow." He whispers.
We both breathed heavily. "You know I wasn't going to go back to Jace," I say in between breathes.
Then he pulls back again and turns the other way putting his fingers through his brown curly hair and starts to ramble quietly. "Then that whole speech was for nothing. I shouldn't have kissed you. Oh no, what did I just do? I probably Just wrecked our whole friendship! I'm so sorry..." I just wanted him to shut up because, to be honest, I enjoyed kissing him, I don't regret it. I turn him around and grab the caller of his denim jacket pulling him down for another kiss.
Our lips collide again and I realize they don't feel cold anymore, they're warm. I don't care though, all I want to do is keep kissing him, it feels so right.