Eddie found himself overlooking the quarry. If he knew how to swim, he definitely would've jumped. It was a hot day, and he really wanted to cool off, both physically and mentally. He shouldn't have yelled at Stan and Bill; they were just trying to help.
"Fuck," Eddie whispered, flopping backward onto the dry grass and looking up at the sky. He had to squint because of the sun, but he could still see the bright blue, a gentle color that made him feel less tense.
He laid there for what felt like hours, trying to muster up the courage to return to Bill's house. God, Richie was going to be pissed. He'd probably be mad that Eddie yelled at his best friends and then taking off without bringing someone with him. They had managed to escape the Bowers gang, but what if they came after Eddie? Richie would be pissed.
Eddie didn't know what to do. He didn't want to face the other losers being mad at him, but he didn't want to be alone either.
Not long after his mental debate, Eddie found himself walking toward the counseling building he had been in a day before. Autumn had told him she was always available to talk, since most people in Derry don't go to any form of counseling or therapy.
Eddie walked inside and approached the lady sitting at the reception desk.
"How can I help you?" she asked, her eyes on her computer.
"I, uh, I don't have an appointment, but, uh, my name is Eddie Kaspbrack and Autumn said I could see her whenever I need to talk?"
It came out as a question, but the lady simply nodded and told Eddie to take a seat. She called Autumn, who invited Eddie into her office seconds later.
"I wasn't expecting to see you so soon, Eddie," she said, sitting in her seat and look at Eddie with a confused expression.
"I, uh, I didn't know where else to go," Eddie said quietly, his arms crossed over his stomach. He was still wearing Richie's sweatshirt and sweats, but the smell did little to comfort Eddie.
"What happened?"
Eddie tearfully explained the events of the previous night, as well as how he lashed out at Bill and Stan earlier that morning. He then went to tell her about his fears that Richie would be mad at him for taking off. When he finished his worried rant, he was surprised to see Autumn smiling proudly at him.
"Why are you smiling?" he asked, not sure if Autumn understood the situation.
"I know you're worried about how Richie's going to react, but I want to focus on how you yelled at Bill and Stan. It's never fun to yell at people who care about you, but you're standing up for yourself."
Eddie shook his head. "No, that's not the point. I shouldn't have yelled at them. They were trying to help me."
"I get that, but you didn't want their help. You wanted to be outside and wanted to think through this trauma yourself. There's nothing wrong with wanting time to yourself, and while you shouldn't have yelled at them, you made it clear that you didn't want to be taken care of in that moment. This is a form of personal growth, Eddie."
Eddie fell silent at that. He did feel bad, but he did want space from his friends. "So it's not a bad thing that I screamed at them?"
"It's not how you should always handle the situation, but it was how you put up boundaries. Next time you should stay calm and tell them you want some time to yourself, but you were showing them you needed space. Does that make sense?"
Eddie nodded before standing up. "Thanks, Autumn. I think I need to go back to my friends."
Autumn smiled and walked him out to the lobby area. "Are you safe to walk home?"
"Yeah, I'll be okay. Thank you."
Eddie skipped down the stairs and headed toward Bill's house. He may have lashed out, but that's alright.
He was recovering.
•••
"You let him leave?!" Richie shrieked, his eyes blown wide in anger and fear.
"He was pissed and needed time to himself! He's fine, Richie!" Stan hissed, trying to get Richie to see his side.
"What if he runs into Bowers?! He may have been able to handle himself once, but there's four of them and one of him! They could hurt him!" Richie yelled angrily.
Upon arriving at Bill's house, Stan told Richie how Eddie had gotten upset and ran off to take some time for himself. Needless to say, Richie was fucking pissed.
"They won't! He's going to be fine!"
"He shouldn't be alone!" Richie was putting his shoes on as quickly as possible. He ran to the door and opened it, jumping back in shock when he saw Eddie standing on the other side, about to knock.
"I told you," Stan said, glaring at Richie.
"Eds!" Richie cried, pulling Eddie into the house and hugging him tightly. "Where did you go? Why'd you run? Eds, I was so scared!"
Eddie gently pushed Richie off of him. "I just needed time to think. I'm fine, Richie."
"You could've been hurt!"
"It's okay. I'm sorry I scared you, but I just needed to be alone for a while. I've been stuck inside for days and I needed to go out and be by myself," Eddie said calmly, trying to listen to what Autumn had told him.
Thankfully, Richie seemed to understand. He hugged Eddie once again, before pulling away and looking down at him. "Okay, I'm sorry for freaking out."
Eddie grinned. "It's okay." He then turned to Stan and Bill. "I'm sorry for yelling at you two."
"Don't w-worry about it. R-Richie yells at us a-all the time," Bill said with a smile.
A knock at the door stopped Richie from responding to Bill. They opened the door and Bev walked inside, grinning at the group.
"Hey guys, long time no see," she said with a bright grin.
"Why are you so happy, Marsh?" Richie asked uncertainly.
Bev was a generally happy person, but she seemed really excited. She only ever got that excited when she wanted the help of some of the members of the losers club. It usually had to do with what Richie called "Bev's proof that she's really a girl," and usually included makeup or something of that matter.
"I got a new nail polish!" she exclaimed, pulling out a sky blue bottle. "I don't want to put it on until I see how it looks on someone else. Sooooo-"
Everyone besides Eddie stepped away, shaking their heads. Eddie had his eyes narrowed in confusion, glancing back at the group.
"Bev always tests her shit on us before she uses it," Richie said, glaring at the bottle of nail polish.
"You can test it on me!" Eddie said excitably, his eyes shining with joy. He had always wanted to try nail polish, but his mother never let him.
Bev grinned and took Eddie's hand, leading him up the stairs to Bill's bathroom. "You fuckers can make lunch while we're doing this," Bev called down the stairs.
Stan and Bill simply shrugged and Richie reluctantly followed them into the kitchen.
"Richie doesn't let me test the lighter colors on him," Bev said as she opened the bottle and got the excess color off the brush. "He lets me do the black on him and sometimes darker greens."
The cool feeling of the polish on his nail made Eddie shiver but smile at the color. "I always wanted to use nail polish, but my mom obviously never let me," Eddie said bitterly.
"Don't worry, Eddie! I have so many polishes, and you can use whichever ones you want!" Bev said happily, dipping the brush in the polish and starting on the next nail.
"Bev?"
"Hm?"
"Bill was using your makeup yesterday and said you could, uh, show me how?" Eddie asked hopefully, to which Bev smiled wider.
"Of course I can show you! But why was Bill using it?"
Eddie knew that Bill asked him not to tell Richie, but he didn't say anything about Bev.
"He had something on his neck. I don't remember what it was called but it was a weird mark? He said that Stan gave it to him," Eddie mumbled, watching as Bev's face shifted from confusion to an amused smile.
"Stan gave Bill a hickey?"
"Yes! That's what it's called!" Eddie exclaimed. "But you can't tell Richie. Bill said not to."
Bev nodded and continued her work on Eddie's nails. There was no way she'd be able to keep it a secret from Richie for long. She just hoped Bill, Stan, or Eddie would say something before she did.